• Member Since 10th Jan, 2018
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J Carp

I'm an old sourpuss.


This story is a sequel to I Am Awkward (Yellow)

Manehattan Pride is always a huge event, but none of the creatures travelling from Ponyville suspected it might be as terrifying, electrifying, enraging, or life-changing as it ended up being.

Moon Dancer wants to propose to Fluttershy, Trixie and Starlight want to have fun, Rarity wants to find her soulmate, and Ocellus wants to learn about sexual identity. Will they succeed, or will their combined neuroticism wreck the whole weekend?

This is the final story in the Awkward Windmills trilogy also consisting of I Am Awkward (Yellow) and It Turns Out They're Windmills. You should read them! But if you haven't basically all you need to know is that Moon Dancer moved to Ponyville and is dating Fluttershy, and both Rarity and Starlight have come out as some form of not straight. And Applejack is Fluttershy's ex, but she'll never admit it. .

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 114 )

Off to a strong start, here! Mostly fluff, with a hint of drama, which is nice. And the thematic throughline of what forms love can take is very appropriate. Side note: Snails being trans actually makes a lot of sense. Though I'm wondering why an event like Pride wouldn't just be a part of Hearts and Hooves day, given Equestria's culture of acceptance.

Great to see another part of this saga! Poor Moondancer, now having to plan a fancy proposal even though Fluttershy would have been fine just calling their agreement to marry that. Changelings having trouble understanding relationships and gender makes sense; people often play up their love absorption and thus assume they know everything about that, but creatures that can transform however they want would definitely have trouble wrapping their heads around a particular form being that significant. Rarity and Trixie is also a pairing I haven't seen in a very long time.

Looking forward to the rest.

Ok this is going to be fun. This is the Trixiest Trixie since Trixe. I'm loving the comedy interwoven into everything!

Why yes, I am very proud of myself about "hoofah."

I've enjoyed the first two parts of this series, and I'm quite happy to see it back. loved the Discord interlude. I've seen trans Snails before, but as a filly, not a colt.

Man, nobody likes to think of Maud and Mudbriar knockin' hooves. :twilightsheepish:

Ah, using Luna in that outfit for the cover picture, I see. :)
...And it appears that since I first loaded the story, you've changed the image to focus even more closely on those obviously totally random colors with no meaning whatsoever... at least while the censor is looking. :)

Well, a good start, I think, and I look forward to seeing how it continues. :)
...Hm. I do find myself wondering exactly what the story and chapter titles refer to, though. Who is the Hidden Femme?
(Not expecting an answer this early, to clarify. :D)

I'm afraid I don't recognize the non-ponified word; what is it?

"Man, nobody likes to think of Maud and Mudbriar knockin' hooves. :twilightsheepish:"
Eh, I don't know, they seem happy together. :)

I was just joking about the author giving him a highly limited and highly specific sex drive. (I will admit that the notion of two such emotionally closed-off ponies being passionately into each other is pretty funny, but I don't find it too realistic. Especially since the main social mode of one appears to be pointing out other people's errors. :pinkiegasp:)

"Chuppah," which is the canopy under which many Jewish wedding ceremonies take place. I tried to think of something for "ketubah" but failed. I think horse puns are like at least 45% of why I want to even write these stories, frankly.

I like the idea of Mudbriar having hidden depths which would be explored along with the development of Starlight's weirdo friend group. Or well... not exactly hidden depths. Hidden personality traits that aren't just that one joke.

Ah, okay; thanks for the clarification.
(I seem to have less difficulty with the idea, though; I think I find it more sweet than funny.)

Ah, thanks!
And heh. :)

☑ Mares in suits
☑ Cute not-quite-proposals
☑ Starlight and Trixie's upcoming pride schenanegans
☑ A whole cast of chaotic disaster gays

What more could you ask for out of a first chapter?

In all seriousness, very exciting start. The characters all sound like themselves and the identities you picked out for them seem to fit quite well. Also, some of those jokes landed hard--very nice timing.

I can't wait to see what Manehattan Pride is like.

I tried to count the impending trainwrecks set up in this chapter, gave up, and settled on all of them.

"Fluttershy nodded. "One time, I thought I was goth," she agreed.

"And a snooty Canterlot elitist. And a Hipster - or maybe more of a Valley Mare? Successively and multiply and at one point at five second intervals."
"Fluttershy, I think that's -"
"Did you know Twilight couldn't figure out how I changed outfits so fast? She finally attributed it to my hanging out with Discord. She felt the main alternative theory, that "Pinkieness" could be contagious, was just too terrifying to think-"
"Sorry Pinkie."

...Ah, and I see that the short description appears to answer my question about the title from last time. Didn't see that before. :D

And I continue to enjoy the story. :)

"Did..." Rarity sputtered wordlessly for a few moments, then finally collected herself enough to speak. "Did you just get engaged?"

Yes. Perfect.

before turning the hoof towel into a teacup and teleporting it off to the teacup dump.

Even more perfect and I'm shamelessly stealing the idea that Trixie has a spot somewhere outside of town she keeps teleporting accidental teacups to.

Oh, this will be an absolutely glorious disaster. Looking forward to it. Fingers crossed Manehattan will still be standing when all's said and done.

This was a good set up chapter! I admit I got a bit confused during the entire hypnotism scene, due to how long it took for the characters to mention what they were actually arguing about.

Tweaked! Think the comedy momentum flows a little better this way, too. Thanks!

Skimming over it, it does seem to flow better now, yeah.

"Starbucks" is already a pony pun, but at least I got to include F.A.O. Horse.

Aw, poor overwhelmed Coco.

This was a good chapter. Poor Coco, can't make sense of Rarity's advances and gets cockblocked by Starlight. Also poor Ocellus, getting overwhelmed by everyone being so accommodating.

Every character has so much personality, even the bit parts and OCs. I got a kick out of Mr. Stripes especially.

We can do easy way or we can do hard way. Easy way is you have no nose. Hard way is personal growth. What you think?

I dunno - Maud sure seemed to like the idea, based on how she reacted while he was petrified!

First time in history somebody had someone ELSE bite off their nose to spite their own face!

And the poor ship Starixie sails into stormy waters, Starlight's desperate attempts to deny her crippling self-doubts punching holes in the hull....

"magic talking duck" :pinkiehappy:

"The city is a terrifying, angry monument to the destruction of nature. So many ponies; so much rage. Mind cluttered. Nerves frayed." She clicked it off, then clicked it back on. "The lobby has a Starbucks, though, so frappuccinos! Yay!"

Ah, the eternal dichotomy of New York City.

As bisexual as half a gumball machine, my dear.

... I have no idea how to parse this simile.

But her designs are absolutely terrifying, and if you become her girlfriend, please please please keep her from ever dressing me in them.

Human Fluttershy clearly needs to introduce her counterpart to Skullcruncher.

I, Photo Finish, will help the Coco!

This will either be disastrous or amazing and I'm not sure which.


Ah. Both, then.

Lookin' good, magic talking duck!

Was it demonic-looking or just operatic?

I am... what is the term?... murderously protective. I can bite noses off those who'd be prejudiced, or I can volunteer here to make them less prejudiced, and eh. This is less illegal.

This is peak Mr. Stripes characterization.

This should be very interesting. Already seeing some points of friction despite (and in some cases within) the well-wishes. Definitely looking forward to more.

This is rapidly becoming a train wreck and I am here for it.

Also I wish I had Photo Finish to act like a romantic consultant in my life. Anyone who is willing to jump out of a car to comfort you is good in my book.

I do not know you!!” Photo Finish barked from the other table at their startled friends. “I am a pegasus and my name is Sky Horse!!!”

Oh. My. God.

Also, why is Photo Finish the voice of reason? The world has gone mad.

Starlight and Trixie admitting shared admiration for eachother's qualities and reconciling was nice.

"Snow comes! Don't tell me you've never had a snow cone?!"

This is an extremely amusing typo.

"I really hope I haven't been misgendering my chest of drawers!" Pinkie squeaked. Then she relaxed. "No. We have a good relationship. If Dame Sockbelly was upset with me, she'd let me know."

This is so Pinkie.

Well then. Rarity screwed up big time. But at least Photo was there to provide a supreme amount of levity. Also, you seem to be inventing multiple new adverbs. I approve.

aha! I fixed the typo, thanks. It did a decent job of communicating how gross Ocellus finds those things, though.

This is the best use of Photo Finish in any fic I've read.

Rarity, do you want to get Moondancered again? Because this is how you get Moondancered. Again.

Yays! Such a good chapter, I don't understand half the talks about she/he/they that have been going on since the first chapter, but I am enjoying this story nonetheless. :pinkiehappy:

Curses! my prediction was not correct. Honestly, I expected that Starlight would get to the bar, and suddenly look over at Trixie and introduce herself due to the hypnotism and the continued talks about everypony thinking they are together. I figured it was one of those 'everyone else can see it but you for some reason' type of deals. Still, I might be right later on for all I know. n.n

Rarity...man, she is all over the place. Doesn't seem like she knows what she wants...though she definitely does have a penchant for finding Trixie at times like this. It also is amusing because of how much Rarity has shown to think negatively about Trixie since the first chapter.

“Give me the bluest drink you can make.”

Damn is Trixie a girl after my own heart. n.n Blue drinks are always the best.

I look forward to the next chapter, and the chaos held therein. :heart:

Rarity. Sweetie. Honey.

You are a class A train wreck barreling through an orphanage for kitten nuns, and you completely deserve the dressing down you will probably receive multiple times before you get it through your thick skull that you do not need to sabotage yourself at every conceivable step just to make sure things don't go well before you do something stupid.

But please at least try to have the emotional awareness involved to stop making an ass of yourself in ways that will potentially get you in even worse trouble! I swear, I half thought Fluttershy was going to find her sniffing up some powdered courage, if you take my gist.

But I adore this Photo. I am reminded of an orc whose skills all went into Intimidate and he would literally roar "I am hiding!" at guards to convince them it wasn't worth arguing how well he was doing th job.

re Trixie and Starlight:
Yay for conversation about and successfully resolving interpersonal issues! :D

re Rarity:
Er. ...Less, that thing above! Oh dear. :D

I continue to enjoy this story. :D

Starlight and Trixie's conversation about the latter being seen as a joke was great, and now we see that Rarity is making up for lost time being a disaster lesbian (or bi rather).


Nothing can possibly top her shouting KISS!! when she kisses people, but I do my best.

It's just a creative solution to a problem! That's my thing!

Well, that and those solutions blowing up in one or more faces.

Though I do have to say that when I was evil, I focused on quality over quantity, unlike some ponies I could mention.

Eh, quantity has a quality all its own, especially when the unit of measurement is "extracted souls" or "ruined timelines."

We have genders. We have three.

I have questions. I have at least three.
... Oh, that actually works out the way I thought it would.

Smarm tasting like snowcone syrup makes an incredible amount of sense. Violence being cold is directly supported by FiM lore.

She felt a completely unreasonable amount of contempt towards that olive bar.

Speaking as someone who's had to refill an olive bar, there is no such thing as an unreasonable amount of contempt for one.

I’m from Canterlot, so I have high standards for my elitism. I’m an elitism elitist, you might say.

This is an amazing line. Kudos.

I love the idea of Twilight mistaking hot sauce for other foods being a theme throughout her life.

Photo Finish walked in, wearing a brown wig and flanked by her entourage. “This is not a disguise!” she screeched.

Ah, the "YOU DO NOT SEE GROGG!" school of stealth.

“I swear, I didn’t know this would happen,” Rarity murmured, not looking at her. “I didn’t know she would like me. I didn’t know I would like her. I thought it would just…” Her voice trailed off.

I'm not sure how she planned on ending that sentence. I don't think she is either.

Photo Finish is the best friend Coco didn't know she had. And she maybe even better at comforting than a yak. And at infiltration.

The story is set in a world where Trixie may be more emotionally mature than Rarity. I'm not sure how to handle this concept, but I am looking forward to more.

Yays. A good, amusing chapter. Moondancer is nerdy as ever, and Trixie is on point. Quite happy with her scenes in this. Kinda hope there is more hi jinx between her and Rarity as this continues.

Moon Dancer took a step forward. “You are a professor. Which means I can be your student. I can demonstrate my knowledge.” She paused. “...And earn a good grade.”

Why does this not surprise me about Moondancer at all.

I continue to enjoy this story; thank you for writing. :)

Open honest communication and sincere apologies solve everything. Who knew?

Seriously though, Rarity really needs to see a therapist and get to the root of her romantic obsessions. Coco too, as it appears she still has a lot of unresolved trauma from Suri.

I picture Trixie, Pope of Pancakes, enthroned atop a towering stack of eight-foot pancakes.Mighty decanters of syrup stand to either side...

“Do you really want me to do that? You know, every time you teleport, you die.”

Man, one story on that theme was a decent horror story: sequels were increasingly unnecessary.

" One was green, one purple, one orange. They all looked like hallucinations."

Rather similar to Chrysalis's thoughts on the new-type changelings, actually. :pinkiehappy:

I was not expecting Trixie to be the voice of reason in this fic.

But I also wasn't expecting Photo Finish to be one either.

So I guess that makes sense.

I didn't know there was already a story about this!

Besides Star Trek. Star Trek kinda is about that.


Star trek regularly comes up with weird ideas about how the teleporters might work - or fail to do so - which are forgotten by the next episode or book. :facehoof:

Well, this definitely went better than last chapter. Hopefully Ocellus will be able to stop worrying so much to actually understand her feelings. And Rarity could use some sincere self-reflection herself, though she may need some outside assistance to disentangle her romantic issues.

Meanwhile, Moondancer is discovering something about herself that's rather obvious in hindsight. Wouldn't surprise me if Twilight had a similar kink.

Well, things went better between Coco and Rarity than I expected. Funny how well honest apologies work. Looks like they won't be getting into a relationship, though; probably for the best, given how things went. Mixed feelings on Hoity Toity's trick.

Trixie has been pretty great this fic. She's been a surprisingly good voice of reason.

“The real treasure was the skeletons we made along the way!”

You know, that could be interpreted as a pretty bloodthirsty statement. :pinkiehappy:

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