//------------------------------// // Some Femmeblance of Normalcy // Story: FemmeFiction // by J Carp //------------------------------// Fluttershy had personally known a large number of dragons in her life, but it seemed nothing could keep her from finding them fascinating.  So when a float rolled by that was full of gay dragons (mostly young, but one enormous adult who may or may not have been asleep), she hovered up above the crowd to see better, eyes full of childish wonder, clapping her hooves.  With the way she’d chosen to dress up for the parade, it made quite a sight. Starlight didn’t really see what the big deal was, but one glance around told her she was in the minority there.  Most of the other ponies nearby looked confused and a little scared, but Fluttershy’s soft cheers were quickly amplified by Pinkie, which soon resulted in vocal approval spreading through the crowd.  The dragons were of course all far too cool to react, but Starlight liked to think they appreciated it. She craned her head to check Ocellus’s reaction, but she was too far away to see much.  The group correctly surmised a parade would be far too stimulating to expect Pinkie to chaperone anyone, but Ocellus was living up to the trust they’d put in her, just standing nearby and watching the parade.  But the little changeling appeared to just have the same pensive expression on her face that she’d had all day.   Everycreature was a little off today, it seemed.  Pinkie could be seen leaping up out of the crowd periodically like a spawning salmon, manic with delight.  Fluttershy was still her demure self, but she had decked herself out like a chandelier constructed wholly from gay pride, and although it was sweet to see, it was also a little unnerving.  Luckily Moon Dancer was just her usual staid self (though notably in a very good mood, for some reason).  Starlight glanced over to make a remark to her nerdy friend, but she paused in surprise when she saw her a few meters away, talking to somepony.  Her conversation partner was wearing about as suspicious a costume as would be possible: trench coat and fedora obscuring every identifiable feature.  Moon Dancer glanced back, noticed she was being watched, and quickly trotted back over, guiltily plastering on a smile of perfect innocence. “Hey!” she said, arriving back at Starlight’s side.   “Hhhhhhi,” Starlight replied.  She glanced over to where Moon Dancer had been, but the other pony was gone.  “What were you doing?” “Not doing!” Moon Dancer insisted.  Her smile slipped.  “I mean.  I wasn’t doing not anything.”  She shook her head.  There was an uncomfortable pause.  “No.” Starlight raised an eyebrow.  “Why were you talking to somepony in a trench coat?” “Hm?”  Moon Dancer glanced back.  “Oh!  Yeah.  That’s not a trench coat.  It’s a duster.” “Um.  Okay, but…” “Hey, dragons!” Moon Dancer interrupted, glancing at the receding float.  “That reminds me, hey Starlight, weigh in on a philosophical question, would you?  Fluttershy and I have been discussing this.” Fluttershy floated back down to the sidewalk now that more mundane floats were passing by.  “Oh, is this about the portal?” “Yeah.”  Moon Dancer pushed her glasses up her nose and stood formally.  “All right.  Now, Starlight, do you agree that the life of sentient creatures is worth protecting?” “Ummm.”  Starlight raised an eyebrow.  “This is gonna be a trick.” “No, no tricks!”  Moon Dancer was clearly having the time of her life.  “Let me put it this way.  Do you agree with the following statement: ‘If a sentient creature maintains a high quality of life and also does not negatively impact anyone else’s quality of life, then it’s better for that sentient creature to life longer than to live shorter.’” “Yyyyyyyes?”  Starlight answered, very much not trusting where this was going.  “I guess?” “Okay then.  Now, three relevant facts.  One: dragons live thousands of years.  Two: dogs live ten to fourteen years.  Three: Spike, a sentient creature, is either a dog or a dragon depending on if he’s in the human world or our world.” Starlight frowned.  “Oh.  That’s…. Hm.”  She scratched her head in thought.  “So, you’re saying dog-Spike should live over here?” “I’m saying we’re morally obligated to bring Spike over here,” Moon Dancer clarified.   “Um, and I disagree,” Fluttershy added.  “I don’t like saying how long animals live is bad, because, um, their lives are right for who they are.”  She glanced around nervously.  “But I don’t have a big argument supporting that or anything.  I’m probably wrong.” “Not at all!” Moon Dancer insisted.  “You know way more about creatures than I do; of course your intuitions there need to be taken seriously!”   Starlight glanced back and forth between them, then sighed.  “I’m really sorry, I can’t have a serious philosophical discussion with you looking like that.” “Like what?” Fluttershy asked, adjusting her rainbow-colored top hat so it wouldn’t smudge her lavender face paint.  “I… oh wait a moment, I’m sorry, my tutu is a little…”  She adjusted it, using her wings to help balance on her pink stilettos.  “That’s better.”  She looked back, smiling gently.  “Like what?” “Never mind.”  Starlight shrugged.  “The whole human dimension is just weird, anyway.  They have fingers!  Their hooves just have little tentacle things growing out of them, and no one seems to care.”  She huffed, annoyed.  “And Sunset?  Sunset’s my friend, but come on!  She’s like an alternate universe me, but she’s not, because there literally is an alternate universe me somewhere.” “Um, I think talking about fingers might be kind of… taboo for them?” Fluttershy spoke up.  “I asked Fluttershy once what she uses them for, and she got really quiet and embarrassed.”  She glanced over to her special somepony.  “Did anything like this happen to you?” “Ugh, no,” Moon Dancer replied, rolling her eyes, “but I’ve, uh, kinda been trying to avoid writing to my counterpart.” “Oh!” Starlight exclaimed.  “Is it because she’s dating the human Trixie?  That’s totally weird, right?”!” “Ehh…”  Moon Dancer hesitated, scrunching her forehead in thought.  “No?  The Trixie thing seems like it’s going fine.”  She sighed.  “It’s just, my counterpart over there started a rap group with a friend of hers, and it’s all she wants to talk about.” “Ohhh,” Starlight said, wincing.  “Is it that bad?” “She rhymed ‘hypothalamus’ with ‘try to rap with us.’” “Ahh.” “She rhymed ‘truculent’ with ‘Duck Hunt.’” “Ehhhhhhh...” “You absolutely do not want to know what she tried to rhyme ‘synecdoche’ with.” “Okay, okay!” Starlight grunted.  “I get the point.” “Why would I be bothered about Trixie?” Moon Dancer asked, raising her eyebrow.   “It’s just… you’re friends!” Starlight explained.  “It’s weird!  Friends are friends.”  She glanced over at Fluttershy.  “It’s gotta be kind of uncomfortable for you, right?  That even an alternate universe Moon Dancer would go after Trixie?” Before Fluttershy could answer, Pinkie descended upon them like a crashing helicopter.  “Girls!” she screeched, waving her hoof frantically at the newest passing float.  “Clowns!  Look!  Gay clowns!!” They looked.  There was indeed a float full of prideful clowns rolling by.  One of them shot another with seltzer, causing Pinkie to scream like a falcon. Ocellus walked up to them hesitantly.  “I have some questions about the gay clowns,” she said. Laughing wildly, Pinkie leapt away.  Ocellus followed her, stammering queries. Moon Dancer glanced at Starlight.  “You were saying something about friends being weird?” “I would never have a problem with what human Moon Dancer does,” Fluttershy said, toying idly with one of the many glow sticks wrapped around her leg.  “And if it means Moon Dancer could be attracted to Trixie over here, that’s fine, too.  I trust her.” “Gah, no, stop!” Starlight snapped, squeezing her eyes shut.  “All this is too weird!  Dating your friend is wrong.” “Eh.”  Moon Dancer shrugged.  “I’ve asked out a friend before.” “What?!” Starlight nearly shrieked.  “Who?! Why?!” “Minuette.  And because I had feelings for her.”  She smiled with sad nostalgia.  “I’d just come out, and she was one of my best friends, and… it felt right, I dunno.” Starlight covered up her face with her hooves like she was hiding from a bogeyman.  “What happened? Did she turn on you?!” “Turn on me?  What are you…”  Moon Dancer shook her head in confusion.  “No.  She said she was straight and that she loved me as a friend, and then she made a dumb joke about tomatoes or something, and that was it.” “I don’t… aggh, Fluttershy, help!”  Starlight looked over at her friend in desperation.  “You’ve never asked out a friend, right?” “Um.”  Fluttershy peered back diffidently over the rims of her giant novelty sunglasses.  “I… did.  Once.”  Starlight’s mouth fell open in horror, so Fluttershy anxiously continued.  “It wasn’t a very big deal. She had recently moved to Ponyville, and I thought she was pretty, so I just asked her to spend time with me taking care of animals.”   Starlight’s mouth fell open even wider.  “And she couldn’t be friends with you after that, right?” “N-no!” Fluttershy stammered.  “I, uh, actually think she misunderstood me?  Because she ended up thinking it was kind of an educational activity sort of thing, and then she invited a lot of other ponies over at the same time.  Um. But what I’m saying is, that was fine!  I got to feel proud of myself for being brave enough to ask, and we stayed friends.” “This… this…!” Starlight sputtered, unable to put a thought together.  “This is nonsensical.  Who even was this pony?!  How could she not have been upset?!” Fluttershy glanced awkwardly at Moon Dancer, then scrunched up her face in thought.  Starlight sympathized with her; it was probably really awkward to even think about whoever this supposed “friend” was.   But, before she could speak, there was a gentle throat-clearing off to the side.  “Headmare Starlight?  Professor Fluttershy?”  Ocellus stood there, pointing at the parade.  “I’m confused about something.  Because that group of ponies had a banner that said they were bears, but it was clearly just ponies!  What does that mean?  Can ponies be bears?!” “Uhhhh…”  Starlight glanced over at the big, burly stallions marching by.  “You see…” Ocellus gasped.  “Am I a bear?!” Thankfully, she did not choose to transform into the largest, most terrifying bear possible.  It was a mid-sized bear, brown and fuzzy.  Quite cute, actually.  But that did not stop a number of nearby parade-watchers from screaming in terror. The bear frowned.  “It… I don’t know, it doesn’t feel wrong, but…”  She transformed back into herself, a thoughtful expression on her face.  “I…” “Is that a changeling?!” somepony yelped nearby.  The nearby members of the crowd who hadn’t run away were all staring. “What’s it doing here?” someone wondered loudly.  Ocellus shrank down, shaking.  Starlight, secretly glad to have a clear mission, strode next to her, staring down the onlookers.  Moon Dancer and, with just slight hesitation, Fluttershy stepped up next to her.  Pinkie literally fell out of the sky to join them. “She is watching the parade,” Starlight asserted.  “And she’s not bothering anyone, so…” “Are there changelings in Manehattan, now?” someone asked.   “I didn’t know changelings could be blue!” “I can’t believe I called her ‘it,’ I feel so awful. I should have known she was a girl and not a worker....” “Oh neat, a changeling!  Have you met Princess Twilight?!” “I wish I could turn blue...” “Aw, she’s adorable!” Ocellus’s pony defenders tried to respond to each comment, but it was starting to turn into an incoherent roar.  Starlight was relieved everypony was being more-or-less accepting, but that did not appear to be a comfort to Ocellus, who was lying on the sidewalk, shivering.  “Please, she’s very shy…” Fluttershy tried, but it did not abate the enthusiasm. Starlight had a great idea to just magic her way out of the situation by conjuring an oppressively thick fog, but she realized this was one of her bad good ideas and tried to think of something else that wouldn’t ruin the entire parade.  But suddenly, a voice called out, loud and piercing enough to be heard over the crowd: “Aaaa!  Is that my very best friend, Ocellus the changeling?!!” Starlight looked.  A float had stopped in the parade path, the ponies pulling it apparently confused by the disturbance in the crowd. The float itself was mostly a huge tank of water, and its occupant waved their claws in obvious delight.  “Well, come here, honey!” Steven Magnet enthused.  “I need your help!” Pinkie gasped and looked back and forth between Ocellus and Starlight.  Ocellus, after a shivery pause, nodded.  Starlight shrugged. “Sorry everypony, we gotta go!” Pinkie called, grabbing Ocellus and leaping into the air.  Starlight watched her skip across the crowd, bouncing from scalp to scalp, over to where Steven’s float waited.    Before Ocellus even knew what was happening, she was confused and agitated on the float; Steven’s tank took up most of the front, and the rest of the surface was decorated like a giant aquarium, with gaudy, plastic anemones and papier-mache pebbles all around.  Steven sat in their tank, grinning at her.  Pinkie was gleefully poking at the fake diving suit someone had made. “You all right there?” Steven asked, pressing a claw against their face.  “I’m… fine,” Ocellus answered, before glancing over at her teacher.  “Um, Professor Pinkie Pie, I do have wings.” “Wings aren’t gonna save you from the ghost of Captain Roanbeard!” Pinkie called back to her, waving around the arms of a fake skeleton dressed in a pirate outfit.  She laughed joyfully, but also like a pirate.  “Steven, your float is so neat-o!” “It’s better in the water part,” Steven replied, patting the surface of the water.  “Oh please come join me, Ocellus.” Ocellus nodded.  The staring crowd was just a blob of ponies now and not individual, staring eyes, but it was still a huge relief to be able to transform into something else.  She splashed into the tank, and a seapony’s head popped up next to Steven. “Aaaagh!” They shrieked.  “You look so classy!”  They leaned close, winking.  “If you ask me, everyone around here could use a few scales.” Ocellus couldn’t keep herself from grinning back.  She idly noticed that the ponies pulling the float had resumed their place in the parade, so the crowd was shifting.  It wasn’t scary at all being in front of everyone, partly because Steven and Pinkie were so happily soaking up the attention. “Ooo, I am so mad at those ponies who were yelling at you,” Steven grumbled to her.  “You just tell me or someone else if it happens again!” “Um… thanks.  I think they were mostly just curious, but I don’t really like lots of creatures talking to me about being a, um, you know.”  Her voice softened and she lowered into the water as she spoke, so the next word was just tiny glubs and bubbles rising from her mouth: “...changeling.” “Well, then you shouldn’t have to put up with it,” Steven insisted.  “...But, I’m glad I got a chance to see you again!  I can just tell you have a phenomenal sense of style, and that makes you my kind of creature!  Are you liking the events, besides the nastiness that just happened?” “Yeah!” Ocellus answered, almost enthusiastically.  “It’s a whole lot of stuff I’ve never seen or thought about!  It’s really great to learn about it!  Uh.”  She frowned softly.  “I don’t think I’ve figured out what I came here to figure out, though.” “Ooooooo, a mission!”  Steven clapped their claws in delight.  “Well, you’re obviously very smart, so you’ll figure it out!” “Hm, I don’t know.”  Ocellus splished her flippers vaguely.  “I’m starting to think I won’t.  I’ve been trying to find out… what I am.  You know, on the inside, about my… um, sexuality.  And it’s really different from how changelings think about things, so it’s hard.” “Oh, baby child!” Steven exclaimed, looking as if their heart was breaking.  “It’s just terrible how queer creatures never can run out of ways their teenage years are awful!  If it helps, pretty much everycreature you’ve seen all weekend has been through something like it.  But I bet you can figure out what feels right for you!” “Yeah.  That’s sort of what my teachers said, um.”  Ocellus gestured to Pinkie, who was now wearing the pirate costume and apparently improvising some kind of skit with the skeleton.  “I don’t know.  It’s frustrating.” “Well, don’t force it!  Forcing it will give you wrinkles, and you can still look good with wrinkles but you’d have to change your whole gestalt.” “Oh no, but it’s important!”  Ocellus insisted.  “I need to figure this out now, because it matters for my friends!  Especially, um... “  She trailed off.   Steven glowered.  “Honey, if your friends don’t accept you, then…” “No, it’s not that!” Ocellus interrupted, waving her flippers frantically.  “I know they’d accept me!  It’s just… I wasn’t really thinking about this, but then a few weeks ago, my friend Smolder visited me.  She’s a dragon, and she goes to school with me.  And… and she looked stressed out, and I asked why, and she said she wanted to talk to me alone, and when we were alone she said, ‘Okay, first of all, I’m pansexual.’”  And I asked what that meant, and she explained about gender and everything, and I think I understood.  So I said, ‘I acknowledge what you’ve told me.’” “‘I acknowledge what you’ve told me?’” “It’s… it’s what you’re supposed to do!  You acknowledge the other creature’s feelings, right?”  Stephen raised a meticulously trimmed eyebrow, but Ocellus kept going.  “But then she got really weird, and she wouldn’t tell me any more!  She tried to laugh it off, but… but I know her, and I could tell her feelings were hurt.  And that’s because I didn’t say anything back, right?  I was supposed to tell her what I am on the inside.  But I didn’t know!” “Oh, child,” Steven sighed.  “Sweet baby infant neonate cherub.”  They sighed again.  “Oh innocent youngster lamb moppet...” “Whaaat!” Ocellus wailed.  “What do you know!?  Tell me!” “Ocellus.”  Steven rested their chin on their elbow, regarding their tankmate with vague confusion.  “Your friend visited you suddenly, was acting nervous around you, and took you aside to tell you two things… the first of which was that she liiiikes giiiirls.  And then when you didn’t react enthusiastically, she didn’t tell you the second thing.” “Well… not just girls!” Ocellus argued.  “Pansexuality is a valid orientation!! But…. yes?” Steven started to speak, then caught themselves.  “Hm.  I may be swimming out of line, here.”  They called back to the pirate dancing on the solid part of the float.  “Oh, Miss Pinkie Pie!  I have a question!” “Arr!” “Is it all right if I tell dear little Ocellus that her friend Smolder has a crush on her?” “Arrrrrrr!  I hope so, matey, because ye just did!” “Oh.  So I did.”  They shrugged, smiling widely.  “Thanks, honey!” Ocellus was, by this point, floating belly-up on the surface of the water, barely even hearing what was happening.  She felt a claw poke her shoulder gently.  “Oh, don’t be surprised!  A cute changeling like you?  What dragon wouldn’t snatch you right up?  Um… not literally of course, you know what I mean.” “But what do I do?!” Ocellus yelped, leaping out of the water as a pegasus.  She hovered along next to Steven’s head, waggling her hooves wildly.  “This… this would be even worse!  Because, because before I just thought I couldn’t relate to anycreature else, but now I’m disappointing my best friend!” “Aww.  So you don’t like her back?” “I don’t know!  I can’t think about that until I know what I am!”  Ocellus dropped into the water, a seapony again, just so she could swim in a tight, anxious circle.  “Smolder deserves somecreature who is something that she can like, and can like her back.  What if I’m not something that likes girl dragons?!  That would be the saddest thing ever!  Steven!”  She wailed, beginning to cry.  “That would make me so sad!” Steven gently caught her by the shoulders; she kept her fins splashing, but she stayed in place.  “Ocellus,” they said, oddly serious.  “Honey, you know what I like to do sometimes?  I like to just curl up underwater where no one can see me and just drift around.  You know?  It calms me down, and remember!  Wrinkles!” Ocellus’s vision was blurry, but Steven’s glorious moustache was something she could focus on.  “Like… meditating?” “Yes!  Just being onnnnnne with the water!” Ocellus nodded tearfully.  “I… I can do that.  I’ll be a jellyfish?  They’re really good at drifting!” “Eee!”  Steven clapped with joy.  “I told you you had style!  Just try drifting around for a while!  I’ll tell you when the parade’s over.” Ocellus sniffled, the panic slightly muted.  She couldn’t get Smolder’s face out of her head, but maybe not having a head would help.  The last thing she heard before dipping beneath the surface was Pinkie yelling, “The real treasure was the skeletons we made along the way!” and then everything was just water.