• Member Since 12th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen 26 minutes ago


-GM, master of... ( Discord | Patreon )


Daring Do finds an artifact that does... something. She just doesn't know what.

As an archeologist with a reputation to uphold, she is determined to figure out what, precisely, it does. Twilight Sparkle might just be able to assist in this endeavor.

Or maybe they'll both panic about not knowing together. That works too.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 55 )

I really hope the artefact is one of these:

Very nice. I got some strong Benny Summerfield vibes off of this, and of course, I'm always in the mood for some science.

good chapter! Lots of description and it had me hooked the whole way through. Can't wait for more!

I've always enjoyed pony + physics.

* Lurking here in case anyone wants to talk about particle physics *

Some flimflam sales pone really short chaired Twilight on that airship. No room even for a communication dragon? :twilightoops:

I can see the TShirt now.

I sent off to Pirelli for a crystal neutrino detector to use on a space rocket, and all I got was a set of used F1 tyres. :trixieshiftright:

Seems very good.

The "Similar" tab has "The Writing on the Wall", and while I've only read TvTropes mentions, this implies the algorithm saw and understood the ending of that story.

Just read the story.
So is there a flying car yet? I want to obtain a license to drive/fly it.

Less science labs or temples, and more like "lookit us, we were clever devils, weren't we?"

Also it seems a bit irresponsible to leave particle physics lying around without warnings of what it does. I mean, you wouldn't want them to accidentally fission a supercritical mass, would you?

That is one of the most beautiful wastes of time I have ever seen. It's probably also the reason aliens will never want to visit us because if we make things like that then clearly we're all insane. :pinkiecrazy:


seems a bit irresponsible to leave particle physics lying around without warnings of what it does

What would a warning on a neutrino source say? "Danger of Considerable Frustration When Trying to Figure Out What This Thing is Doing"?

There is a story, probably apocryphal, of a senior general, who on hearing of a radiation source able to penetrate the Earth and pass through any shielding, ordered his scientists to develop a weapon to exploit this. The project reached quite a high level, before someone explained that if neutrinos could pass through the Earth and shielding, they would also pass straight through his enemies without causing them the slightest harm.

Probably a joke some scientists tell because they look down their nose at people who aren't in their field. Anyone who understands armor penetration physics, like say someone in an modern army, would understand concepts like over-penetration and energy transference (or lack thereof.)

Remember, hitting your target is only half the goal. The other half is making sure that you transfer enough energy to damage it beyond the ability to function as a threat.

Comment before reading: I want the artifact to be a garage door opener that is just frustrating a human somewhere as Daring and Twilight just keep clicking it.
Comment after reading: As a physics major totally satisfied with this story.

I'm getting some serious SCP-055 vibes with this fic.

I was really worried this would end up in the same note as the time someone wrote about Daring Do finding a remnant of the Human civilization and it turned out she had found a old nuclear waste site, and unfortunately the ponies dug too much and released some before they could unlock the secret left behind. Cue Daring finding blood in her coughs. Can't remember the name of that fic but I remember it being a banger.

Seemed like figuring out how neutrinos have multiple forms seemed to be a bit quick, but Twilight had a lot of time and theories, so that's okay?

Good job!

Daring really obsesses over temples. I suppose she knows what her readers expect.

Up next: Daring Doo and the Vanishing Tachyon!

These ponies need to take better precautions:

Let us suppose that the device would have sent an high-energy beam of electrons at a lead-target. It would have irradiated the ponies with X-Rays. These ponies have to be more careful.

Very nice reference to another particle with the cat creatures called Mewons

Edit attack!

It would have been bearable if Twilight wasn't twitching around so much as she poured


Blobs of compressed air released puffs of pink clouds lined its body

Double past-tense verb? Or does it just need a "that"?

Well daring do has some serious obsession with Temples.

I was sure that was what this would be too. Plastering inscrutable symbols and breeding odd cat-things are both proposed (and highly likely to fail) ideas to keep our descendents or successors as intelligent life on Earth away from nuclear waste, test, and other contaminated sites, and them showing up here was some eerie misdirection.

That was probably Twilight's intent. She is consistently characterized as self-centered, inconsiderate, and thoughtless.


How about an energy beam I used Dr Brian Mays ideas on for cell phones back in the 90s. Did its best to sum to zero at all points except the destination.

Then it Summed.

Values reached for the 2 Megawatt version were enough for pair production.

Id say that was enough energy transfer for you? :pinkiecrazy:

Physics plus ponies equals a happy grad student. Cheers, mate!

I thought this was going to end with the Null Rod joke. I was quite wrong. Anyway, Pibb is amazing.

I'd say you need to brush up on your English classes a bit there, bud, because you are not transmitting information in a coherent manner. Remember, specialization is all well and good, but a good scientist is one with enough learning in other fields to apply it properly.

"Energy beam", what energy? X-rays, radio waves, a flashlight, a laser?
"Sum to zero"? No explanation, you assume everyone knows what you're talking about. Now in the context of the sentence and the reference "all points except destination" I can get that you're somehow implying that you magically sucked energy from cell phones (which makes no gorram sense whatsoever in and of itself since that's not how telecommunications work. There are limits to what can be transmitted before antennas melt and breakers trip), enough to somehow replicate zero point energy (pair production IIRC references either matter/antimatter parity or what happens when a cosmic ray hits an atmospheric molecule and generates both an electron and a positron), which I find incredibly dubious.

This is all from the top of my head. Now, I could look this up, but if you don't care enough to communicate properly, then why should I bother?

Remember, the language and communications requirements for your general education portion of a degree are important, even if you'd rather be somewhere else.


Im very sorry for the confusion, family matters recently have been making me mess up even more than usual. The technology Ive been trying is used, but not for phones, or rather, only for broadband landlines and not for wireless, or several other encoding methods.

The best description I can think of thats single channel multi use, is GPS, and the best signal level description I can think of is Ultra Wideband Radar.

a pile of bouncing cat balloons wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world to wrangle.

It's easier if you bait them with sushi.

If Twilight wants to start the experiments again, she should set up instant messaging between the two end points, perhaps video conferencing, too.:twilightsmile:

“You don’t have anything to worry about. It was on the ceiling and a ‘mewon’ hit it.”

You son of a... Even with Equestria's pun-based ecology, that's smack-worthy.

“It’s currently forty-seven degrees outside with possible showers in the evening.”

"Several weather pegasi called in sick and we've yet to get confirmation from the volunteer reserves."

“...well, we think it’s a solid thing in the center.” Twilight placed a hoof on the collection of larger circles. “Maybe it’s made of smaller things too.”

"What a shame. Pinkie was so excited about the plum pudding model... though that was mostly because of the name."

“And, if I were a betting mare, I’d say they were shooting at something. Something directly at the other side of the planet.”

Ah. Neutrino research. No wonder nothing detected the beam.

“Weapons are not a very good thing for the Princess of Friendship to have!”

"The Elements of Harmony."
"Those are a tool."

“Is that why you walk around in your natural coats, saying ‘naught!’ to the cloth?”

To be fair, Daring does have a jacket.

Wonderful work. Great to see someone take up Pineta's challenge, and you did so in a wonderfully engrossing way. I should probably see what else is on the docket...

For those unversed in card game lore:
"It doesn't do anything!"
"No. It does nothing."

"So, what's the news doc?"
"It's cancer, Twilight. And it's squating in every major organ!"
"Oh... that's not good. Any idea what caused it?"
"I don't know. Have you been hit by any experimental energy beams in the past year?"

Your statement isn't wrong, exactly, but I struggle to ascertain how it applies to this specific case.

Alternatively: yes, the show bungled Twilight's characterization hard enough to make her the antithesis of what she's supposed to be, but how does that cause the thing you're responding to?

(The number of downvotes you deserved is the number of downvotes on your comment minus the number of downvotes on this one)

Which, as I mentioned, is in the "similar" tab for whatever inscrutable reason.

And they were ultimately rejected because there would inevitably be some Daring Do sort who ignored them. You know what they say, if you put some switch in the most remote cave you could find with an "END OF THE WORLD SWITCH, DO NOT PULL" sign next to it the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.

The show is the source of Twilight's characterization, and authors relying on it for Twilight's characterization are not making an invalid authorial choice, no matter what you think her characterization is "supposed" to be. Show Twilight would absolutely exclude Spike from her personal airship, because she is that kind of person. So it is no surprise that she does the same here.


Ritual purposes, people :twilightangry2:

I'm surprised that the Mewons weren't more of an obstacle, given that Ahuizotl controls cats, but all in all this was an amusing tale.

Sure, if they're doing it on purpose. If they're simply being neglectful then that's not cool even if the show's actual writers were neglectful in the same way.

Incidentally, the fact that your response to me has already picked up downvotes and the thing that it's responding to has no 'votes at all tells me that none of your downvotes are valid because they're from people who dislike you and probably didn't even read them properly.

That's a copout and Twilight is infamously opposed to copouts in situations far less explicable than this one. (Citation: Feeling Pinkie Keen. If I linked to TvTropes it'd be Never Live It Down rather than the actual episode recap)

If the work product of negligence and intent is the same, then what difference does that mental state make? And why should it matter? Especially since it is impossible to know what's really in an author's mind and heart.

As for Feeling Pinkie Keen, the lesson there was supposed to be to accept cop-outs. And it stuck. To the point that "it's Pinkie Pie, don't question it," became an indelible meme.

Na they probably have a cure for cancer given Twilight's inability to follow health and safety checklists

Except no, because Twilight was back to saying "you're not scientifically possible" at someone right in front of her in the next season. It only stuck for Pinkie Pie specifically, because nobody in the actual show ever learns anything. (It doesn't count as learning if you've forgotten it by the next episode)

Ancient Ponynaut Theorists speculate that the builders of this strange ancient lab were hyoomans…


The ancient alien scientists split the beam of pure Light into its 3 primary components: The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost!

*gets zapped for blasphemy... again...*

That'd hurt more if I wasn't used to it by now! *MUCH BIGGER ZAP!!* I should... really learn... to shut up... X___x


That one physically caused pain.

10075817 Or if it was a beam of anti-protons or positrons.


Yes, we can think of examples all-day-long, but Twilight does not have that luxury; many things are immediately fatal. That is the 0th thing those joining IPX (InterPlanetary EXpeditions) learn:

"Exploring the past to create a better future."

10124823 I found a thing when I joined them! It was a space spider!


It put mind-control stuff in my brain. :applecry:


We could have shared the same fate, as I nearly worked for IPX, but when I learned that the cheapstakes do not offer paid vacation, it was a dealbreaker.


Given that we have an outbreak of Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus 2 causing Coronavirus Disease 2019, I bought a BioHazardSuite. ¿What is your opinion?:


Login or register to comment