• Member Since 4th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

jqnexx


Sequels1

T
Source

A pony Sunset Shimmer wronged before leaving Equestria is back for revenge, and is insisting Sunset come to confront her alone. Can Sunset help the wayward mare? Can Sunset use the magic of friendship without any friends around? Is Sunset an alicorn? Well, do you see any wings?

Preread by FanOfMostEverything.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 52 )

Oh my god, I love that ending. She's so an alicorn, just, not even alicorn magic is enough to overcome those kind of genetics. :P

That was fun. Always enjoy Sunny being badass.

Interesting little twist at the end. Entertaining story over all.

One question though: while the Princess's pardon cleared her of all legal trouble for her past crimes, what about civil? I mean, could Stellar Flux have filed a lawsuit against Sunset Shimmer for what she did and the consequences there of?

...

I kind of want to write that now...

9737034
That sounds like an interesting idea. If I were doing it, Stellar would win the suit for lost wages, but because the salary of a hayburger-flipper is higher than an entry-level academic, the judge would award her zero bits.

A pony Sunset Shimmer wronged before leaving Equestria is back for revenge, and is insisting Sunset come to confront her alone.

What?

Interesting very interesting

DrakeyC #7 · Jul 18th, 2019 · · 12 ·

Honestly... meh.

Title was pretty much clickbait since the actual topic of Sunset being an alicorn is an afterthought. The ending twist is just lame and seems like a blog post about one's headcanon for why Sunset has wings sometimes but isn't an alicorn. It's a unique idea sure, but as the "punchline" to the fic's entire premise, it isn't funny and I'm not even sure if it was supposed to be funny.

Otherwise the fic is just lame. Half the story is just a fight scene with bantering insults and occasionally tossing out pop cultural references and quotes and memes. I wondered if you were going for some absurdist humor with how Sunset is so tired of fighting villains that she doesn't take this one seriously at all, but if that was the intent it didn't really work. And the dialogue in general was kinda stilted and awkward.

I'm not trying to be harsh or rude, but this story was just not good. It dragged on too long, it didn't have much humor, and the promised premise from the title and summary were incidental to the actual story we got, making it feel like clickbait.

Hmmm, this is alright so far... 7/10 from me

Wings of light are more badass anyway.

Great battle, loved it :twilightsmile:

The twist at the end surprised me, even more so for making sense of the two illusory Sunsets from earlier.

water seemed to materialize from a direction orthogonal to all three spatial directions.

My brain hurts

Come to the eRgot Salt flaTs alone or I will desTrOY Canterlot.

Sure you will, dude - it's not like there's two ageless alicorns there who can protect the city, after all.

“Sunset, did you turn evil again?”

Yes. What're you going to do about it, punk?

The synopsis makes zero sense. Why is Sunset fighting Sunset? Are there two?

I personally prefer my Sunset to knowingly hide her alicornhood, and at this point we have pretty thorough confirmation that any combination of tribes is possible for a family so the wingless pegasus had an objectively bad plan that just happened to work in their favor. Also, it doesn't really make sense to use a Saitama quote after as many attacks as she used, aka more than one. Still, cool story bro.

Hah! This was a fun read. Twilight freaking out about the card catalog thing was beautiful, and I loved the whole "no wings, see?" thing going on there.

I guess Twilight will forgive Sunset when they finally figure things out and she gets to write a monograph on wingless alicorns!

Ri2

I initially thought you made a mistake with the Earth Pony in a Pegasopolitan outfit, until the ending. Well played.

So, Sunset IS an alicorn but a wingless one. Will she ever learn the truth?

“Please. Next you’ll tell me they’re still around and there’s a conspiracy to suppress the knowledge. Having a third of Equestria keep a secret from the other two thirds just wouldn’t work long-term no matter how hard you tried.”

Ha. Tryptich reference. I see what you did there.

Interesting story, although it seems list between wanting to be a comedy, meta fictional joke or playing it straight. Not a bad work, though.

And fifty years later she's still insisting she's not an alicorn, even if she hasn't aged a day.

9738020
Not only that one, there's a lot of meta fiction references. Can't say from where, I read more than I should, but I did recognize some others too.

There’s absolutely worse reasons people have been made coauthor than that.

Oh, you have no idea. I've heard of a case where someone managed to "coauthor" by appearing in a recurring dream that started after he'd died, pestering the only real author with what eventually became the subject of a paper. Sadly, my Google-fu is too weak to find actual names.

9738516
That's hilarious, although I was actually thinking about the case of F.D.C. Willard.

9737068

So Stellar Flux would technically win a court case, but end up getting nothing substantive? It actually seems to be in character for Stellar Flux to end up in that situation. Thankfully Sunset is a good enough person/pony to not use the law to dodge responsibility, and actually make real amends .

Anyways, it was interesting to see a story where Sunset is targeted by someone seeking revenge.

9738921
Sunset trying to make amends for things she did in the past is a really unexplored area of her character. I've seen a few fics that give her a contentious relationship with Cadance, which is an area I might explore in the future.

Comment posted by redandready45 deleted Jul 19th, 2019

9738984

If you did explore that topic, I'd love to see what you'd write.

9739134
I've got a couple ideas for a sequel, although my current leaning was something more action-oriented.

I really like the references. Nice humor and funny battle. Thanks for the laughs :pinkiehappy:

I really like the references. Nice humor and funny battle. Thanks for the laughs.

+1. Thanks jqnexx.

Well, that finale was surprising.

“I don’t even know why I bother, even the girls back home don’t get my references because they have no appreciation for the classics.”

I do! The origin of the Friendship Laser deserves to be remembered!

It's why I will always lament Starlight got talked down instead of blasted into friendship by Twilight. I had the Starlight Breaker puns all lined up, dammit!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

“No! You made a false card catalog entry! Now go up there and fix it this minute! And then we’re going to go find your friend and we will sing a song, a magic song, and then we’ll fix everything!”

I can't remember the last time I laughed so much at a paragraph.

Good lord, this was great. XD I'm particularly glad the answer wasn't just 'yes', too. I mean, I figured the armor was just hiding it.

9738516
There's also the time physicist Hans Bethe got added to a paper solely so they could say it was written by Alpher, Bethe, and Gamow.

Wait, i'm confused.....
Her father was a Unicorn, and her mother a Pegasus, so what's with the Earth-Pony abilities?

9843464
Okay, I fully approve of that decision.

9855327
That's addressed with the sequel. It's not that her parents were two different pony types, it's that her mother contributed the hidden no-wings gene.

Sunset has gone native, she has all this evidence that things may not be as they seem and yet she is still rationalizing

Story-exclusive headcanon: Cherry Berry is Sunset's estranged sister.

9855327
She's a wingless Alicorn, Alicorns are a combination of all three she just happens to be flightless through a genetic magical defect.

9843464
9865124
9738516

Don't forget the time a physicist put his cat as a co-author under the name F. D. C. Willard because he used we and us in his solo paper on accident and didn't want to to take the time to fix it.

9906584
Yup, I just heard of that one recently, and it's great, too.

Sunset scrambled back into a fighting stance and pawed the flat ground. “Fine. We’ll do this Nanoha style then.”

As Captain America once said: "I understood that reference" :trollestia:

“No, that’s Fluttershy.”

Yup :moustache:

“Huh.” Sunset looked down at herself. She could feel her second wind kicking in as her metabolism adapted to the demands placed upon it. “Did you mess up? I think you made me slightly taller.”

Wait... taller ? :trixieshiftright:

“Huh huh how did you do that?!?” Stellar scrambled to her feet. “You’ve got no magic.”

Incorrect, she still has magic she just can't cast spells with her horn :moustache:

“100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, 10 kilometers of running every single day!” Sunset began to lever Stellar’s head down towards the dirt, flipping the other pony on her side in the process.

Oh come on, you did not finish this fight in one punch mare :trixieshiftleft:

“Please. Next you’ll tell me they’re still around and there’s a conspiracy to suppress the knowledge. Having a third of Equestria keep a secret from the other two thirds just wouldn’t work long-term no matter how hard you tried.”

That's a reference to another story/series just can't remember which :applejackunsure:

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

10067313
Stellar's probably got a midwest accent. Sunset's father would probably have a London accent, and her mother I'm not sure what accent I'd assign to her.

Sunset tore open the letter. She knew it couldn’t be good news, but she hadn’t been expecting this. The first page was assembled from letters cut out of magazines, like an old movie kidnapping, including the use of letters with the wrong capitalization.

Sunset ShimMer
Come to the eRgot Salt flaTs alone or I will desTrOY Canterlot .
STel Lar Flux

:rainbowhuh:
Typically letter cutouts is used as a measure of keeping the sender anonymous by preventing people from identifying their handwriting
...which really serves no purpose in this case since she signed the message anyway :rainbowlaugh:

9957597
It's a reference to the Triptych Continuum by Estee.

I didn’t know I walked into a OPM fanfic why didn’t anyone tell me?!

I borrowed one of your story's ideas and went a...different direction with it. (Credited in Author's Note.)

10300022
Thanks, that was a lot different but still funny.

Decades ago, but not many.

I see that Homestuck reference.

This was hilariously awesome on nearly every level, and amazing idea for 'totally not an alicorn' Sunset.

Hahaha.. this was fun.

Login or register to comment