Equestria's biggest threat

by Ashfur

A Bucking Leaf

Celestia mulled over some papers as she listened to the melodious bird songs out her window. It was a lovely time of year, with new trees growing and flowers popping up all over Canterlot. Still, she wasn't in the best of moods. Just last week she had announced a retirement plan, and was almost immediately shot down by her would-be successors. Yet, they had made valid points, and therefore Twilight and her friends were not the cause of her negative mood. Instead, it was one of Twilight's parting shots: “After Cozy Glow, is a leaf with googly eyes going to take over the world?!”

And, as much as Celestia hated to admit it, Twilight had a point. The major threats to Equestria seemed to be coming from more common places. Gone were the days of ancient evils like Tirek and Sombra returning from eons-long imprisonments to conquer equestria. Instead, her subjects have had to deal with increasingly ridiculous attacks, including:

-Some chick who lost a friend 15 years ago and tried to cause communism as a result
-That same chick but now trying to break time itself because she's salty about losing
-A baby crying really fucking loud
-Luna's imagination
-Chrysalis, again
-Some land dispute over a damn tree
-Bullshit happening in the human world that Sunset couldn't handle alone, multiple times
-Daily life in Rainbow Falls
-Chrysalis, for like the third time
-Some dweeb who got out in limbo time-out when he got mad that the big colts wouldn't let him touch the macguffins
-Oh, and a third grader

Honestly, Twilight wasn't too far off the mark, Celestia thought to herself. She decided to get some fresh air and think for a bit. What she didn't notice was that a leaf from a vine outside her office floated in through the window on a breeze and land gently in her chair.

A few minutes later, an exhausted, half-asleep Luna trotted in with some paperwork of her own. “Sister, we have some questions about- OH DEAR FAUST ABOVE!” Luna recoiled in terror at seeing the leaf in Celestia's chair. She recalled the ominous prediction Twilight had griped about as well, and for a brief second her overworked brain thought it was real. As she backed up, she stepped in the small trash can by the door, tripping and falling backwards as some stray trash knocked the leaf out of the chair. It drifted behind her as she stumbled back out into the hallway, which only served to drive her into more of a panic. “No! Thou art not real! The kingdom shall not be conquered by some measly piece of foliage! We shall- whoa, whoa!” Luna tripped and tumbled down the stairs, which was not too pleasant given the fact Celestia's office was five stories up.

Three stories down, on the second floor, a tour group of foals and their teacher were being led around. “Alright, children, gather ‘round! We can see the lovely gardens through this window, and I can even see princess Celestia! Later today, we'll meet her and make her some wonderful macaroni artwo-”

As the teacher held the art supplies aloft, a deep blue something came crashing down the steps and out the window, the supplies getting caught up in the commotion. “OH NO! NOT THE MACARONI ART!” The teacher lamented.

One of the foals cried out as well. “Oh no! I spent all my allowance on those self-stick googly eyes for our art! Now what are we going to give the princesses?” Little did the colt know, they had just given the princesses the means for quite the scare…

Luna crashed out the window and into the garden below, ramming into Celestia and causing the both of them crash into a big tree. Leaves rained down around them as they recollected their sense of where they were, and the jar of googly eyes crashed against the tree, spilling out onto the leaf pile. When the celestial sisters had fully rebooted their brains, they found themselves face to face with each other.

“Sister?!” Luna cried out. “Thou art alright! We thought the vile leaf had captured thee!”

“Luna? What… what are you talking about?” Celestia asked, puzzled.

“The leaf that Sparkle said would be our next major threat! It claimed thy office chair, and caused us to come tumbling down here without touching us! It must be among the strongest of mages to do so without us detecting its magic!”

“Oh, Luna. You are so silly. Twilight never said that would happen, she was just making an exaggeration… to… prove… her… point.” Celestia's speech slowed as she noticed the pile of googly-eyed leaves they were entombed in. Luna noticed as well, and gasped.

“Oh no! Sister, they have multiplied! It has henchleaves! Hedgeleaves? Wait... these are just leaves!”

Celestia, having realized the situation, gained a mischevious smile on her face. “I… No, Luna, they are real. Twilight was right. There is only one thing for us to do.”

“And that is?”

She chuckled with a smirk that implied centuries of politics. “We surrender the crown and take a vacation that way, of course!”

---

Dear Princess Duchess Twilight Sparkle,

Recent events at the castle have led to some dramatic changes in the hierarchy. Unfortunately, my sister and I were bested by the almighty, unblinking Lord of the Leaves and his many followers, and had to surrender the throne to save the kingdom. We request that you and your friends come and pay your respects to our new overlords as soon as possible, and maybe find some way to convince them to leaf the rest of the kingdom alone.

Your Friend,
Princess Duchess Celestia

P.S. Don't bring a salad in case it offends him.

Twilight put down the letter, sighed, and summoned some painkillers to combat the migraine she already felt coming on. “SPIKE! GET THE LEAF BLOWER! WE'RE GOING TO CANTERLOT!”

The young drake sleepily poked his head out of his bedroom, the tips of his wings visible as he stretched them. He let loose a mighty yawn. “Ugh, at this time of day? I was just laying down for my nap! Why do we need the leaf blower, anyway?”

“I think our glorious rulers are actually trying to get fired now. When we get to the castle, we're going to have a little friendship lesson with them about responsibility.

Author's Note:

I had this idea and couldn't stop laughing. It was either this, or sctually have a leaf take over the kingdom... maybe someday I'll tell that story, too.

Comments

[MLPMekarm]

(hands twilight a hot glue gun) here. you'll need it twi.

[Nova Blaze]

9520478
She tried that, and clearly it didn't work.

[Light Heart101]

Hey, is this the pilot of season 9? (LOL, I know it isn't.)

[Ashfur]

9520533
Oh no, the crowns are still stick on.
You really think Arca makes temporary superglue? Pfft.

[Nova Blaze]

9520536
To be fair, I forgot that Arca made the glue. Yeah, those crowns will probably still be there at the end of the universe.

[MLPMekarm]

9520541
Well let's hope so.

[Cipher800]

9520557
I highly doubt it would stick.

[Cipher800]

And besides, Tia and Lulu are anything BUT glorious. In my opinion, both are weak leaders.

[Dashie04]

It’s going to be an interesting Running of the Leaves...

[AmanDash]

9520860
This should be done in a shortfic too.

[AmanDash]

This could evolve into Final War: The Leaf With Googly Eyes versus the Horribly Slow Murderer With The Ridiculously Inefficient Weapon.

Feature Box again?

[Zapper Frost]

“I think our glorious rulers are actually trying to get fired now. When we get to the castle, we're going to have a little friendship lesson with them about responsibility .

I fully expect another sequel after this

Also I'm still waiting for Nick to show up, since judging by the last story this takes place in the same universe

[Alondro]

Oh my god... A Hawaiian ti plant leaf with googly eyes! DOOM HATH COME FOR US ALL!!

[Midday Giggle]

I LOVED BOTH THIS AND ITS PREQUEL ITS BRILLIANT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHA

[Level Dasher]

Jesus I didn't think you'd actually do it. This is amazing.

[Ashfur]

9522693

I didn't think you'd actually do it

Rule #1: never underestimate my sheer stupidity.

I will do a LOT to make folks smile.
But who makes me smile?
Jk its you guys and your love of the stories

[Padgriffin]

Amazing. Just... Wow

[Powerdrainer]

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/306/806/602.png

[Cipher800]

And, as much as Celestia hated to admit it, Twilight had a point. The major threats to Equestria seemed to be coming from more common places. Gone were the days of ancient evils like Tirek and Sombra returning from eons-long imprisonments to conquer equestria. Instead, her subjects have had to deal with increasingly ridiculous attacks, including:
-Some chick who lost a friend 15 years ago and tried to cause communism as a result
-That same chick but now trying to break time itself because she's salty about losing
-A baby crying really fucking loud
-Luna's imagination
-Chrysalis, again
-Some land dispute over a damn tree
-Bullshit happening in the human world that Sunset couldn't handle alone, multiple times
-Daily life in Rainbow Falls
-Chrysalis, for like the third time
-Some dweeb who got out in limbo time-out when he got mad that the big colts wouldn't let him touch the macguffins
-Oh, and a third grader

Well, be lucky Sombra's returning in Season 9!

[NobodieZ]

OH My Faust! This is so hilarious!

When we get to the castle, we're going to have a little friendship lesson with them about responsibility.

I wanna read that!

[EchoWing]

Well, this gave me giggle-fits. Well done.

[Rdog03]

Bow before our foliage overlords. It's about time Equestria recieves a change in management.

[MLPMekarm]

Ya know a little song plays in my head when I read this & it goes like this.
Leaf!
Leaf!
The evil Leaf!
With googly eye lasers of doom!!
(pew pew)

[Rosegfx]

You made a sequel?! I'm so disappointed in myself that I didn't notice it earlier

[Ashfur]

9526081
You should follow so you know when I'm up to something stupid like this, lol

[Aurora Dimmet]

9520753

>Equestria is a shining beacon of practical utopia
>ponies live relatively happy lives with little to no violent crime
>still haven't seen a pony ghetto
>always work for whoever wants it
>most normal ponies just slightly inconvenienced by random ancient monster attacks if they don't live in Canterlot and Ponyville, mostly Ponyville
>Equestria hasn't been conquered or destroyed in a thousand years where Celestia was the only ruler without a backup dancer team of alicorns or the elements of harmony to help out against all those other ancient monsters and such which surely happened with similar occurrence
>we don't actually get to see the work they do so judging them based on when we see them in canon not doing work is absolutely silly

What? Weak?

[Vigriff]

[Zubric]

9524113
To be fair, the first time they defeated Sombra was not with the elements

Also I have no idea what the author is talking about the whole sunset and tree thing

[keybounce]

> -Some chick who lost a friend 15 years ago and tried to cause communism as a result
Starlight/Our Town.
> -That same chick but now trying to break time itself because she's salty about losing
Starlight / Season 5? ending time loop
> -A baby crying really fucking loud
Was that Flurry Heart breaking the crystal heart?
> -Luna's imagination
Pentabus? Her personal nightmares come true.
> -Chrysalis, again
>-Some land dispute over a damn tree
??? These two I cannot place.
> -Bullshit happening in the human world that Sunset couldn't handle alone, multiple times
Multiple EqG movies.
> -Daily life in Rainbow Falls
???
> -Chrysalis, for like the third time
That was the B-team going into her magic draining lair, right?
> -Some dweeb who got out in limbo time-out when he got mad that the big colts wouldn't let him touch the macguffins
Stygian and the Pillars.
> -Oh, and a third grader
Cozy Glow.

So what were the few that I missed?

[Ashfur]

9566353
The tree is a refrrence to a different fanfic (i forget which one, sorry)

The second Chrysalis bit was actually the B team going in. The third one was actually the Mean 6, which I presume Celestia was smart enough to figure out.

And of course, daily life in Rainbow falls is usually disrupted by one Mr. Arcane Catalyst, the protagonist of one of my other stories, The Potion Shop.

[keybounce]

You considered The Mean 6 to be a threat to Equestria? It was a clear indication that the writing team had downgraded her to comic relief.

Alright, lets see The Potion Shop ...

[Ashfur]

9566616
I have to do everything these days, don't I?

[keybounce]

I'm waiting for someone to take the premise of Mean 6, and turn it into a serious threat that doesn't self destruct.

[Kichi]

I wonder how is going to develop... Is Cadence going to try to give the crown to Twilight also? Are Celestia and Luna going to try to give her the crown? Are they going to give the crown to Flurry saying she defeated them?

[Godslittleprincess]

Okay, I'll admit it. The comedy in this one was much more clever.

[Vaguely Demented]

Was honestly hoping for Chrysalis’s spies having overheard the last conversation and this being her new bid for power.

[AyanamiRei]

I want a sequel where Twilight finds a way to let loose the leaf blower on Celestia and somehow really upset her.

[Anonomis]

9566353
Land dispute- Hatfields & McCoy episode
The Hooffields and McColts S5-E23

[keybounce]

9950870
Thank you.

[keybounce]

9566506
Ahh. Here's the real source of that list.

[TheOneAJ]

[Luna-my-favorite-pony]

Twilight put down the letter, sighed, and summoned some painkillers to combat the migraine she already felt coming on. “SPIKE! GET THE LEAF BLOWER! WE'RE GOING TO CANTERLOT!”

I died. Twice.

Then I died again.

Then I just passed out.

Who knew someone could laugh that hard?