• Member Since 29th Oct, 2020
  • offline last seen Yesterday


The hoes call me the B-1 Lancer because I offer unimpressive low-level penetration but possess a world-class rear-aspect sight picture.


"Despite what the layman might think, the damage caused by hooligan activities is actually inversely proportional to the top speed of the vehicles involved. Celestia help us if they ever get their grubby little hooves on a bulldozer." – Reflective Vests, ROSHA director.

Something silly.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

The two mares watched a little longer. The smaller forklift punted the heavier one into the shelves with a brutal shunt, sending it careening into the next stall.

Pinkie swallowed loudly. "Boy, I really hope that's not–"


Forklift driving can be really dangerous :>

That's the last time Pinkie takes business advice from her human counterpart. Or at the very least, the last time she hires stunt fliers for things that should not be stunted.

This makes me want to get forklift certified.

Ahem, TOWMOTORS thank you.

Worst idea I've ever encountered in business is giving the towmotor operators a bonus for how much freight they load per shift, you've never seen driving until you've seen a guy jig an S curve in a forklift backwards carrying 5000lbs on the forks and doing about 30 mph through a factory

I mean my training was all of 5 minutes...

horseplay (in the cover image)


God, I wished I had seen that earlier. Would have made for a great chapter title.

no, there it went, straight through those dresses Rarity had palletized to send to Fillydelphia

Ha! :pinkiehappy:

I am not buying Twilight's excuse as to why she cannot stop the forklifts or shield the students (even though I realize it is intended as a joke)--maybe instead she burned out her magic last night after a significant study session? Of course, others' tastes will differ.

Other than that, amusing!

Your inclusion of the student tour for added danger was a good decision!



No one's gonna make the joke?

Nobody - not one single person - is going to make the obvious, nay, mandatory joke here?

Sigh... Very well. It seems this solemn duty falls upon me. I do not like it, I do not approve of it, but it simply cannot be avoided. *Ahehehem* *Ahehem*


This is the song written for the warehouse
When Rainbow Dash stunted her ride
🎵She triiiiied to kill me with a forklift!🎵

Once you get forklift certified... It changes a man.

To anyone who has worked customer service, you know there is only one thing more deadly than two forklift operators stunting their rides.

The blood feud that occurs at the punchout clock at the end of the shift.

no this is valid, everybody knows when a forklift gets going Get the Heck Out of Its Way!

I was almost expecting Klaus to show up...

Say what you will. Dash does have her priorities straight.

I can't front, I get it. If the pay stub says 9-5, you better believe that means my butt is out that door at 5. Never run a forkloft through a wall, though.


Yeah I don’t imagine that ends well for the driver, forklift, wall, or even any random passers by.


Us pallet jack operators also like to have fun as well

I miss being a forklift driver. Sure right now I am making three times what I did back then, but there is nothing that compares to actually moving real things--seeing things get done by my own effort. And I miss the guys. Goddamn, was that fun.

"You're telling me." Twilight shook her head. "I can already imagine the headlines now. 'Princess watches as crazed machine turns entire school into jam!' Would have been a media nightmare!"

Pinkie looked at her oddly. "Uhh, yeah Twilight, I guess it would be." She scratched her head with a hoof. "Kinda different priorities than I was thinking about, y'know, kinda-sorta mostly didn't want a bunch of, y'know, foals to get squished."

"Things change when you're a princess, Pinkie," Twilight responded with a shrug.

You understand politicians DISTURBINGLY well.... KINDA SUS!!!


You and me both. I actually went into this expecting it to be a pony version of Forklift Driver Klaus.

As someone who works in a warehouse not driving a forklift, but nonetheless AROUND forklifts that seem suspiciously lacking in speed governors, I found this absolutely hilarious. Thank you so much for sharing, "you can't un-stunt the forklift" is gonna live rent-free in my head now

That... was... AWESOME!!! The only thing missing was what the cover art promised, somepony jumping a forklift off of a ramp.

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