• Member Since 29th Oct, 2020
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


Thus sayeth the ʟᴏʀᴅ: All-Star, over easy, sausage, raisin toast, scattered-smothered-covered, double pecan, coffee, no cream and no sugar.



Did you know Fluttershy was made Royal Game Warden of the last remaining Royal Game Preserve in Equestria? Of course, she only has that title because the newly winged Twilight needed something with which to defraud the government, and that "preserve" is, due to centuries of neglect, actually the Everfree Forest, but that's not really important.

Until, of course, the Griffon Ambassador showed up at her door demanding her services as a hunting guide for his lunch.

Then it was a little important.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 169 )

I mean, I've always assumed that was part of Fluttershy's job. You didn't think she just acted as Ponyville's backup veterinarian, did you? Ecosystem management is as important as weather control for the average Equestrian village.

Of course, that doesn't usually include catering for carnivorous ambassadors. This probably won't end well...

(Also, seeing Forest capitalized means my brain keeps trying to switch gears and figure out what Luna plans on doing with all that green mana. :derpytongue2:)

Like any good greenie player, she's playing nothing but 4/4s for 4 and BEAR PUNCH, obviously.

One does not manage the Evergreen. One leaves it alone and beats it back with a stick when gets too close to your stuff.

That said, I always figured fluttershy's gig would be less manager and more diplomat. Talk to the hydra and say "yes the one pony looks tasty but if you eat it there will be 100 more with pointy sticks".

Bring the camera in close. I want to see the expression on Fluttershy's face when she realizes exactly what the Griffon ambassador wants.

...this should be good...

Although to be fair to Flutter Butter, she's used to dealing with carnivores. Let's see how she deals with a sentient one.

HAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahha..... oh this gonna be GOOD. I love it. moar plox.

Though it does usually involve thinning out overpopulated species, vermin control, and the extermination of invasive species. And there-in lies the problem... also, I doubt Fluttershy knows how to gralloch properly.

Nitpick: you have "thine" in several places where it should be "thy." "Thy" is equivalent to "your," while "thine" is equivalent to "yours." Thus, "thy student," but "the student is thine."

10685737 Your advice is appreciated; my brain no worky good. I'll make some adjustments when I publish the next chapter.

Twilight, Princess of Friendship and Nepotism.

Oh this is gonna be fun! The fun part will ge if Fluttershy actually even knows she has a second job.

10685883 Well, she did make all of her friends the teachers of the Friendship School... despite none of them having the foggiest idea what they were doing.

Nepotism is the best! We know ALL about that in NJ! It's why 1/4 of the population works for the state in some capacity and we're $100 billion in debt! :twilightblush:

You know...this is Flutter-"nature is so fascinating"-shy we're talking about here. It could end with her ending up traumatized for life by the experience...or it could end with that ambassador walking away with a full belly, a few more kills draped over the back for the trip home, and in awe and respect of Fluttershy's exceeding skills as game warden.

Either option should be very amusing to see play out. I'm in. :ajsmug:

The duties of a “Royal game warden” varies a LOT depending on the culture, era and area.

So is no one questioning why twilight is embezzling from the royal treasury?

At nine-thirty at night, that would be a certain stallion coming for a surprising but very welcome visit.


Ouch. They hadn’t even given Luna her own letterhead yet?

Given how long it took her to get her own throne, I can't say I'm surprised.

please consult with the HRH Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Harmony Friendship Learning Ponyville

After the pre-Tirek "What am I even supposed to do?" crisis, Twilight may have overcompensated.

They don’t pay me to force her to make good life decisions, they just pay me to move the books around.

I was under the impression that forcing unicorns (past or present) to make good life decisions was Spike's primary occupation.

Twilight had not offered to give her any money. Perfidious bitch.

Your clientele wipes their rears with more money than Fluttershy saw in a month, Rarity. And they're horses. They don't even need toilet paper. Cry me a river.

Umlauts are always good reason to incorporate a Nordic culture.

Definitely looking forward to more. And really, if Luna didn't want the ambassador friendshipped and/or assassinated, she shouldn't have sent him to the Bearers.

Honeztly, given what Luna told him, this guy's been pretty reasonable so far. I look forward to more!

Fluttershy smiled sweetly at the noblegriffon as she handed the letter back. “Of course. Please excuse me, I must meet with my beloved liege first to clarify some particulars of my responsibilities. Do you mind?”

Oh it's this Fluttershy. Well this just got a whole lot more interesting.

And now Rarity's been dragooned into this whole thing. This day just keeps getting better and better.

“Please list the symptoms in order of severity that you’ve noticed in your – griffon?

"She always tries to keep some of them around just in case one of us has to fix something she messed up if she’s not around.”

At least she fully acknowledges that she messes things up and has planned accordingly for such inevitabilities. :rainbowlaugh:

“I don’t know. They don’t pay me to force her to make good life decisions, they just pay me to move the books around.”

I'm surprised to hear that Spike actually gets paid at all. :pinkiegasp:

Look of shock? No flames? That settled it; she needed to hide a body.

Well...not yet.

She was doing a lot of that this morning. It’s a good thing she wasn’t Honesty.

Yeah, it's too bad Applejack's not involved in this--that'd make things even more hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight had not offered to give her any money. Perfidious bitch.

Hey, you weren't the one who was shoveling hotel soaps into a saddlebag...and probably would sooner prefer to die before sinking to that level. :raritywink:

I promise next chapter we'll actually kill something. Stay tuned.

I dunno, I'm still relishing the anticipation quite a bit. :ajsmug:

In before Fluttershy has a “Twilight moment” and asks the ambassador all kinds of uncomfortable and/or exceedingly technical questions about what it’s like to be a predator.

Spike offered her the letter. “Oh, she’ll be fine. She keeps staying up for three or four days working on stuff, then she’ll sleep for thirty hours. It probably has to do something with these little wax paper baggies I keep finding on her desk. I keep trying to see what it’s in ‘em, but every time I touch one she gets really mad, so I just gave up.”

Ok so she is on crack

Thanks for pointing out the succession of titles. Those were supposed to be struck through, but I guess fimficcy no like how Libreoffice does that markup. What are ya gonna do?

“Why, the gevärverkstad, the gun-makers guild, of course! Did you not commission a piece from my brother, one Erik Välfjädrad?”

Seems like the gryphons are swedish, I suppose.
Are they like the Swedes of Carl the 12th?
That Man were an absolute boss. Apparently he was quoted by Voltair ones, saying...
"I have resolved never to start an unjust war but never to end a legitimate one except by defeating my enemies"

I promise next chapter we'll actually kill something

Hmm, will it be Twilight or the griffon... since Twilight may be semi-immortal, my bet's on the griffon.

Unless AJ gets bumped off because background pony. Or Berry drinks too much and dies from liver failure... :rainbowlaugh:

Regicide is what you do to your own King. Not some visiting nobility. Then again, I can totally see Rarity sniping Celestia because of a idiotic clause in a stupid treaty.

Why worry about the griffon when there's TWO whole princesses who deserve a whacking?

Fluttershy did as she was told and stepped inside. Rarity closed the door behind her, then, after making sure the door had latched, pressed Fluttershy against the wall. “Ok, how big of an, er, ‘problem’ are we facing? Is it in the town? Out at your cottage? Should I bring gloves? Bleach? Or are we just planning to hide it in the forest? Is it anyone we know? You didn’t finally whack Cloudkicker, did you? Not that she didn’t deserve it.”

Sooo.... does this rarity moonlight doing corpse disposal for the mob or something?

Hunting in the Everfree, wonder if 'Shy kept in touch with Manny (Season 1 manticore) ... :fluttershysad:

As for the 'breakfast - :fluttercry: - now can Rarity keep 'Shy together to start this hunt?? :duck:

I'm having a truly stupid amount of fun with this story. Mmm, dormice! :fluttercry:

“I must say, you seem far more confident in this quest than I.”

“Oh, not at all!” Fluttershy smiled sweetly at Rarity. “You misunderstand. I am comfortable with the premise of a hunting trip.” She took a step towards Rarity, eyes widening. “I am absolutely scared shitless of actually doing it.”

“Oh.” Rarity was shocked; that was perhaps the strongest profanity she had ever heard the usually demure mare utter.

Certainly stronger than p:yay:ved. Also Rarity...

“No, don’t apologize for anything. It’s not your fault our monarchs are clearly inept.”

“Oh, um, I don’t know about that…”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Luna apparently has no idea what one of her national heroines actually does, Celestia apparently can’t write a treaty to save her life, and our newest, bravest, most special-ist princess of all Her Majesty Twilight Sparkle is apparently both a moron and a low-functioning stimulant addict. We’re looking at oh for three, Fluttershy.”

...I'm surprised you didn't concuss Fluttershy with how blunt that was.

Celestia apparently can’t write a treaty to save her life

Which raises the question of how she's maintained one of the largest nations by land area in this world for more than a millennium... (The answer, of course, is that this is a silly fic and shouldn't be taken too seriously.)

I do appreciate a fic that acknowledges Fluttershy facilitating the food chain. And the potential lethality of the Everfree.

And after that last moment... If I didn't know any better, I'd think Luna had planned this. They've got everything they need for a plausibly deniable assassination.

I take back what I said last chapter. This guy is an a**.

There is absolutely no way that griffon survives this.

The only question is which kills him first: the forest or the ponies.

Don't worry, she's very hard headed. All those kicks from rabbits, y'know?

Rarity stopped in the street, tilting her head in confusion. “Spike gets paid?”

That's what I said, Rares! :pinkiegasp:

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Luna apparently has no idea what one of her national heroines actually does, Celestia apparently can’t write a treaty to save her life, and our newest, bravest, most special-ist princess of all Her Majesty Twilight Sparkle is apparently both a moron and a low-functioning stimulant addict. We’re looking at oh for three, Fluttershy.”

Makes me wonder what Cadence is inept at, then. Subtlety, perhaps?

Fluttershy swept a few crusty-looking crisps into the saddlebag with a wing. “Not quite, but I do occasionally have to, um, help an older animal on the way out, and it would be a waste not to use their body to feed something else.”

Yeah, I figured it was going to be something like that. :ajsmug:

”Huh. I never thought about wearing part of me, on, me.

That certainly puts it into perspective, doesn't it?

Told you we'd kill something. Bet you didn't expect it was dormice, eh?

No, not the dormice! I mean...I saw it coming from a mile away, but still... :fluttercry:

Clearly, this griffon has no idea just what he's getting himself into. But he's typical nobility--why think when he can pay other creatures to do it for him, right?

OK, now I want this Griffon to get mauled by Timber Wolves.

*Alondro smashes mice with a hammer* What?


Soon enough it may be a gryphon.

More and more getting the impression that Rarity is going to have to make good on her offer to hide a body.

Candy-butt is actually quite good at her job. That's why they shipped her off to magical Siberia, obviously.

When Fluttershy starts cursing, that's how you know things have well and truly gone to pot.

Well done on the action scene, it was both hair-raising, and quite according to character.

Thanks! I was a little worried on how it would turn out. My brain is buit for lowbrow humor, not punchy punchy fighty.

Fluttershy is going to make a griffin trophy room if that keeps up

So uh...how long until Fluttershy employs her techniques on the featherbrain who nearly got her and Rarity killed?

Login or register to comment