• Member Since 29th Oct, 2020
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

JimmySlimmy


The hoes call me the B-1 Lancer because I offer unimpressive low-level penetration but possess a world-class rear-aspect sight picture.

Jul
4th
2023

Be Kind To Your Web-Footed Friends · 2:28pm Jul 4th, 2023

Welcome readers!

If you're an American, happy 4th of July! Please try and make sure you come out of this with as many fingers as you started with! If you're not an American, my condolences for your having a perfectly normal Tuesday.

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Jun
23rd
2023

Well Seymour, I Made It - Despite Your Directions · 7:11pm Jun 23rd, 2023

Meanwhile...

If you still here, it's now here, all 14,000 words of it. Plus, a little side-story too, involving the usual Jimmy topics - insurance, bureaucracy, legalese. All the good stuff. Check it out below.

I've missed you guys. I could go on about what caused the absence, but, instead, I won't. I've got chapters to finish - time is of the essence!

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Jul
14th
2022

"50...40...30...20..." · 2:50pm Jul 14th, 2022

Update, woo!

Sorry about the wait. I could say that I've been busy, moving around, and so forth, which is all true, but the most important reason why I haven't been productive is that someone put me in the wrong operating mode.

Much better.

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Mar
21st
2022

Blog Post (SEXUAL STYLE?) ((BUSTING IT DOWN??)) · 4:10pm Mar 21st, 2022

Not really. But I bet it got you to click, huh?

Amyway, (overly) big chapter update on Whitehorse, Lady of Ferrari. Next updates are significantly less boring by virtue of actually having, y'know, fighting, violence, action, etc. Should be fun.

Incidentally, here's some answers to various questions I have been asked over PMs, Discord DMs, and the like.

-What's your name?
-Not Jimmy.

-How old are you?
-What are you, a cop?

-Do you have any pets?

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Feb
4th
2022

Jimmy Does The UNTHINKABLE!!!!! · 1:40pm Feb 4th, 2022

M rated story. Which is kind of a letdown, actually, because, I wanted my M cherry to be a real buck wild ball-slapper, you know? Whatever the case, this should serve as a reminder that, despite my pretensions with long-form comedies full of luxuriant description, I am, above all, a big ol' goofball with the humor of a 7th grader who genuinely believes "Who Pooped the Urinal" is, at least, my third best fic.

Regular programming will resume shortly.

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Nov
26th
2021

"Status Report, Number One!" · 2:02pm Nov 26th, 2021

I jest.

To all those reading in a timely manner, a very happy start to the holiday season! I hope all had a lovely Thanksgiving, and I hope that we all have a very pleasant rest of the year, especially if I can be a very small part of it.

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Jun
26th
2021

I broke it, I guess? · 4:11pm Jun 26th, 2021

Noble readers,

According to others, there's something wrong with the update notifications for the latest chapter of RaRa's Wacky Bitalian Voyage, so, uh, yeah, don't be confused by the machine, there is indeed a brand new chapter hot and fresh out the kitchen. Or just wait until the next chapter in a week or so. You could do that too.

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May
25th
2021

Hark! All Rise for the "Entrance of the Gladiators!" · 6:20am May 25th, 2021

"uhhhh yeah i'll have the first chapters of the sequel out this week uhhh"

JimmySlimmy, moments after uploading the last chapter of Fluttershy, Royal Game Warden

Well, regardless, it's here(ish).

TRarity, Contessa di Mareanello (?)
"All we must do to secure our stipend is grant fair Rarity a title? By all means, do so posthaste! We cannot foresee any harm she could encounter from that!" – Princess Luna, a notoriously poor prognosticator.
JimmySlimmy · 92k words  ·  152  3 · 2k views

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Feb
18th
2021

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE · 10:51am Feb 18th, 2021

That's right folks, you get not one, but TWO stories this Friday morning!.

The first is the first chapter in another comedy.

TFluttershy, Royal Game Warden (?)
"She needs bits? I'll just make her the Game Warden. Not like we're gonna need one of those any time soon!" – Twilight Sparkle, clueless.
JimmySlimmy · 26k words  ·  274  5 · 2.3k views

You might be thinking "Hey, where's the rest of it!" You'd be correct! Don't worry, though – the rest is coming along at a steady pace, and the first real chapter should be up this weekend.

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Feb
9th
2021

LOOK MEN! LOOK HOW TERRIBLE HE IS! · 8:38am Feb 9th, 2021

I think it goes without saying that I didn't quite expect a cold-posted crack-fic uploaded at 2AM to absolutely cream the featured box for a solid two days and get half a thousand green internet fingies, but, hey, it is what is. Turns out all those invaluable, well written, and loving guides were wrong, and all you really need to go absolutely ape mode in the algorithm is a killer joke about tax evasion. Who knew?

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