• Member Since 12th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Regidar


irresistible

T
Source

Your dad is out of town.

You've got the whole house to yourself.

You invite Berry Punch over.

You'll find heaven in her hooves tonight.


Written for Hexane. Pre-read by r5h, Pearple Prose, and re-Yamsmos.

Edited cover by ThePoneDrome. Un-edited art originally by ayahana.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

The formatting was originally slightly different. You may read that version here.

I suspect it adds nothing much, but that was the how it was intended to be read. Though, FimFic's formatting worked here well enough for me in the end, I'd think.

I give this story a 5/10. Needs more Berry Punch.

I liked this. I really felt as if I were the main character in all their passion and desire.

You can almost hear the tilde hanging in the air.

That's a really creative way to put it.

9515633
hey, thank you! that's what i was going for, and I'm glad you didn't find the tilde thing overblown, haha :twilightsmile:

I initially read the second line of the description as "You've got the whole horse to yourself."

9515686
i mean, you've got that too uwu

Needs tag 'Sad'

9515918
the sad tag is a terrible tag. you should decide how a story makes you feel on your own, not have a tag do it for you.

That twisting in your gut takes hold again.

A twitch.

A pull.

I was hoping I was actually going to see a scatfic from you. Nope. Just feels that reminded me of my low self-esteem. :'(

You are very expressive, as I was reading this, like a video popped up in my head head and started playing every detail you wrote

9516497
....why a scat fic I don't get it

9517614
Thank you very much
that’s all I really want for my writing, to be that immersive, so that really means a lot

"You're such a gorgeous filly," she says, voice catching in her throat slightly as if she were scared to say it.

As if I wasn't already uncomfortable with how things were playing out.

"Do you see where I used to be a colt?"

Fuck.

This bit is like a punch.

No pun intended.

Ouch, Reginald.

And just before you did—in that hypnagogic drift between drunkenness and [ib]sleep—

Oh.

Okay.

I see those there.

This story feels like you were trying to write a Mature without it being Mature. And this came out. If I had to rate it i would give it a 999999999999999999999999999/10

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