• Member Since 12th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago




Your dad is out of town.

You've got the whole house to yourself.

You invite Berry Punch over.

You'll find heaven in her hooves tonight.

Written for Hexane. Pre-read by r5h, Pearple Prose, and re-Yamsmos.

Edited cover by ThePoneDrome. Un-edited art originally by ayahana.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 16 )

The formatting was originally slightly different. You may read that version here.

I suspect it adds nothing much, but that was the how it was intended to be read. Though, FimFic's formatting worked here well enough for me in the end, I'd think.

I give this story a 5/10. Needs more Berry Punch.

I liked this. I really felt as if I were the main character in all their passion and desire.

You can almost hear the tilde hanging in the air.

That's a really creative way to put it.

hey, thank you! that's what i was going for, and I'm glad you didn't find the tilde thing overblown, haha :twilightsmile:

I initially read the second line of the description as "You've got the whole horse to yourself."

i mean, you've got that too uwu

Needs tag 'Sad'

the sad tag is a terrible tag. you should decide how a story makes you feel on your own, not have a tag do it for you.

That twisting in your gut takes hold again.

A twitch.

A pull.

I was hoping I was actually going to see a scatfic from you. Nope. Just feels that reminded me of my low self-esteem. :'(

You are very expressive, as I was reading this, like a video popped up in my head head and started playing every detail you wrote

....why a scat fic I don't get it

Thank you very much
that’s all I really want for my writing, to be that immersive, so that really means a lot

"You're such a gorgeous filly," she says, voice catching in her throat slightly as if she were scared to say it.

As if I wasn't already uncomfortable with how things were playing out.

"Do you see where I used to be a colt?"


This bit is like a punch.

No pun intended.

Ouch, Reginald.

And just before you did—in that hypnagogic drift between drunkenness and [ib]sleep—



I see those there.

This story feels like you were trying to write a Mature without it being Mature. And this came out. If I had to rate it i would give it a 999999999999999999999999999/10

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!