...The Grand Finale! (Or, the Finale, at least)
“Sunset,” Adagio said curtly. She was sporting an off-the-shoulder purple ballgown that made it relatively obvious she wasn’t wearing a bra. “I understand you may or may not know something about… that,” she spat, pointing a finger in the direction of Sonata and Bulk, who were currently making a valiant attempt to dance, as people gave them a respectable amount of room to do so.
Sunset looked over her shoulder at the couple, and raised an eyebrow. “They look cute together. Bulk’s a big sweety, anyways. Looks fine to me.”
The eldest siren sister rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, they’re adorable. Also yes, he’s a giant hunk of man meat with a heart of gold, Sonata could do worse, yada yada. I don’t care. What I do care about is the fact that my sister, my youngest sister, a girl who’s head is so far in the clouds they installed a metal plate to bounce satellite signals off of, somehow has a boyfriend-slash-date-slash-dance partner.”
“….aannnnnnnnnd?” Sunset asked slowly.
“And I do not.”
Sunset Smirked. “And?”
“Sunset, you can’t possibly be so dense as to realize that someone who prides themselves on wrapping boys around her finger the way I do can possibly sit back and let my little sister, darling and stupid as she may be, show me up in front of half the school,” Adagio growled.
Then Sunset had a moment. A brief, shining moment. An epiphany, as it were. It might be because of how much time she’d had to spend with him lately, or maybe it was just because she’d just come off a conversation with him, but suddenly, Sunset had a sense of…. Schadenfreude. Here was Adagio Dazzle, a self-made It-Girl who had tried to split up her friends and take over the world, really rather a mirror image of the girl Sunset used to be, standing around whining about the fact that her little sister was more romantically successful than she. A sense of elation bubbled up within Sunset as she realized that not only was this brief moment of distress for her antagonist both cathartic and enjoyable, but she could actually make it better.
For herself, not Adagio. “And?”
“And I want to know what you had to do with it, and how you intend to fix this!”
“And?” Sunset repeated. The other girls at the table gave her a variety of looks, most of which bordered on mischievous and approving.
“And I swear to god if you don’t get off your ass and help me find a date that will show up my dear little sister I will make your life a living hell, Sunset!” Adagio growled.
“...and?”
“GRAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” Adagio howled, and stormed off.
There was a moments silence before the table of girls erupted into a fit of giggles, as Rainbow clapped her on the back. Soarin just looked kind of amused. ‘Maybe not a lot upstairs for that one, Sunset thought to herself.
Then the chatter was interrupted by something else. Slow clapping. Sunset turned her head to see Schaden and Derpy walking up to the table, each taking a seat. “I have to say, Sunset,” Schaden laughed. “That was well executed. A classic move, for sure, but well played. I may make a horrible human being out of you yet.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Sunset groaned, though she was smiling. “Although I gotta admit I understand you a little better. That was fun. Is that what it’s like for you, every day? That… sense of pride and joy, watching someone else flail uselessly in rage at something stupid?”
“A thousand percent, all the time. It’s what gets me up in the morning,” he said, nodding enthusiastically.
“I still don’t get it,” Derpy sighed. ”It just seems kind of mean to me. But at least you’re not like, hurting anyone.”
Then a shriek came from the buffet table. “OH MY GOD WHO KILLED A SEA KITTEN THAT’S HORRIBLE!”
Schaden just sat in place and smiled as Sunset rubbed her forehead. “This is the part where I regret everything about you, isn’t it?”
“Mmmmmmmmaybe.”
----------------------
The rest of the night, despite Sunset’s deepest fears, was relatively enjoyable. The girls who hadn’t come with a date either danced with each other or just mingled with their friends. The food was nice (even if Schaden did get chewed out by a chaperone for the tags. In fact, ESPECIALLY because of that), the music was good, and Scootaloo’s annual Chicken Dance went off without a hitch.
They were all getting ready to go home, piling into their cars and waving goodbye in the parking lot, when Schaden approached Sunset one last time. Shimmer looked over his shoulder at Derpy, who waved happily from the driver’s seat of Schaden’s much more reasonable and less monstrous BMW. “What’s up, Schaden.”
“Just wanted to say good job, boss. I know I’m a pain in the ass, but you did good. Dance was great, and nobody killed each other. Also no one tried to take over the world, so that’s nice,” he added, with a knowing smirk.
“Gee thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. And hey, I know you were doing this to like, restore your reputation, or whatever, but honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Why not? I mean, there are still a bunch of people who hate me, and-”
“And they aren’t going to change their minds because you remembered to serve the Baked Salmon with lemon and had a key lime pie instead of chocolate cake. Seriously, people who make a conscious decision to hate someone and stick with it aren’t worth the time. There are a bunch of people here who hate me, Sunset, but I still have a great life. I have a girlfriend, a good home life, and yes, I even have friends.” He paused, and almost as an afterthought, called over his shoulder, “BROS BROS BROS!”
To which a small crowd of guys on the other side of the lot, including Bulk, Soarin, and Flash, all chanted back, “BROS BROS BROS!”
Sunset tilted her head in disbelief, but said nothing. Instead, Schaden pushed on. “Life is full of people who are going to hate you. The trick is to ignore them and focus on the ones that don’t. You have plenty of friends, Sunset. Don’t forget about the people that care about you because you’re worried about the people who don’t.”
Shimmer looked impressed. “I have to say, Freude, that was pretty profound, coming from you. So… thanks. I’ll see you on Monday, then?”
“What, are you planning on disappearing into magical horseworld between now and then?” Schaden laughed.
“Well, I actually do need to take pony Twilight home, so yes. But I’ll be back in time for school,” she added.
“Ok, good. Well, I better get going. Derpy has a curfew and it’s probably a good idea if I’m not here in the next two minutes,” he explained mysteriously.
Before Sunset could ask why, he’d climbed into his car and started the engine. With one last wave, he said goodbye to everyone and drove off.
“You ok?” said a voice behind Sunset. She turned to see Twilight on the other side of the car.
“Yeah. It’s been a good night, but I want to go home.”
“Yes, please,” Twilight sighed. They opened the doors to Sunset’s car-
-and everything went to hell with a FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE as the air filled with more glitter and confetti than Sunset had ever seen in her life.
“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT SCHADENFREUDE!”
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Glitter is the worst thing to clean up.
Well, aside from cat vomit and dog diarrhea.
I know this for an unpleasant fact.
What a.. characteristic, ending.
Couldn't have ended any other way, and some nice deep thoughts from Schaden at the end.
This story made me laugh all the way to the end.
I'll be watching for further works you make!
Until next time!
Can we please have at least one example of what happens when you really piss of Schadenfreude? Like Blueblood making Derpy cry or something. I just kinda want to see what happens when Mr. Von Douchehorse lets out all the stops.
To be fair, you are scary beyond all reason.
Now you know how Schaden feels.
Now you know his motivation.
Oh what did you do THIS time?
There it is.
Why does Adagio need help finding a date? Isn't she a professional seductress or something?
For one moment I was afraid that he actually became a somewhat decent human being. Then that happened
Gotta say I kinda expected Sunset to become Adagio's date, because sexy shenanigans. And also to show her how, in the end, she couldn't get a boy to the dance after all
Will wait anxiously for the next adventures of Schadenfreude Von Douchehorse!
8995438
That’s because glitter is the craft world’s herpes. It never goes away, and turns up when you least expect it.
8995438
Same.
Most exquisite way to end, well done sir you have filled ye old funny bone of mine hohoho....can't wait for more :)
This was a very enjoyable read, great work.
8995631
A magically-boosted seductress without her magic.
8995788
I so second that. It was glorious!
8995715
Spreads very easily too. And it doesn't go away. Yeah, I've dealt with glitter a few times. Darn sparkle-encrusted cards.
As much as I have sympathy for poor Sunset...that was a GREAT ending! >=)
Such an amazing story. Bravo.
I just bingeread the whole Schadenfreude saga. What a wild ride it was. How sad i am it ended. And, most importantly, HOW LONG TILL THE CONTINUATION!?
Really good job! Thank you, Daemon!
But- she hangs out with Pinkie Pie. How can there be more glitter and confetti-
Oh god- did they team up?
(Runs screaming)
I dunno, the characters' over-reaction to the scene between Sunset and Adagio soured it for me. It didn't even get a smirk out of me because it was so out of character already; why would Adagio come confide in Sunset about her problems and also expect Sunset to fix them for her? They're not on good terms with each other, Adagio is about fifty times Sunset's age, and Adagio is acting like she suddenly has a public reputation to maintain. Added onto that the 'Yeah, way to go, totally awesome!' reaction by the others just made it stand out as even more out of place.
Also, I asked in an earlier chapter if anything doesn't go Schaden's way, and the answer is still "no". He's apparently always able to get what he wants no matter what, gets away with anything, has a family that's rich and well connected so he can just phone people up to get anything he wants by threatening them with his family, is immune to rebuke, dispenses sage wisdom that people take seriously for no reason given that he's constantly annoying them...he's a Gary Stu now. Literally nothing didn't go his way in this story or even surprise him, he was always on top of everything and nothing unexpected happened that threw him for a loop or confounded him or anything.
I liked the earlier Schaden stories better where he wasn't like this, and the humor felt more authentic and from his perspective. Having other characters patting each other on the back over stuff...it just feels like the author is trying to sell it too hard.
A good end to another great tale of our favorite Von Douchehorse. *claps* Bravo
I get out of bed everyday to watch people like schadenfreue mess with others and take great amusement in it. When they mess with me, I make it a nice challenge for them so it’s very rewarding
All's well that ends well.
"All that glitters is goooold~"
I have to say, high school is absolutely PERFECT for this little sadist of yours, I can't think of an environment that would fit him and this story more.
9030068
...
THAT was not my intention...
This is my favorite Schaden story so far.
this is priceless
9368994
Dude you do know you can reply to multiple comments in a single post?
8995449
Wraps up things quite nicely, a profound, philosophical revelation followed by typical Schadenfreude-douchery.
8995554
I'm afraid that the author will probably never show such an event's occurrence.....for viewer safety of course. Imagine the fallout: more than thousands traumatized by the outcome ;P
9369010
I do now. Thanks.
9368982 The Sirens were a good addition. About the ONLY good addition. They were, in fact, among the most fleshed-out and developed villains in the entire series! They have complete characterization, backstories, variation, motivation... EVERYTHING!!
It's a shame they're pretty much used only once.
This, and all your other stories are fucking beautiful!
8996975
ONLY SHOOTING STAAAAARS BREAK THE MOOOOOOOOLLLLD
Mwahahahahahah!
Good story. I would really like to know what Adagio did to Sunset though.
I want to see EG Schaden go up against the Dazzlings and the Shadowbolts.