Game Called on Account of Stupid
Wednesday, truth be told, might even be more unpopular than Monday. Far enough away from the previous weekend that any gossip or idle chatter about whatever someone did during their off days was old news, and too far away from the new weekend to be excited about it. All of the other days of the week seemed to serve a purpose. Wednesday’s might just have been to annoy people.
A job it really could have left to Schaden, although he couldn’t be asked to be in more than one place at a time, if only for the piece of mind of the universe at large.
This particular Wednesday might as well be called Windsday, with the almost uproarious bluster surrounding the school. Branches beat on windows, leaves dashed across the lawn, and in general the air was just being rude. Even in the cafeteria, which Sunset was now strolling into, one could hear the howling of the wind. Only slightly, though. She made her way to her usual table when she noticed something, or someone, peculiar. Namely, Schaden.
Seeing him at lunch wasn’t unusual. Seeing hm sitting with Derpy at lunch even less so. Seeing the two of them sit with really anyone else at lunch without them having barged in on the conversation was a rare sight, if not impossible. The two seemed to be chatting amicably, or as amicably as one could with someone who derived great pleasure in waiting that extra second to say something, then talking just as the other person tries to fill the silence, with Flash Sentry and Sandalwood. Micro Chip was also at the table, although more engaged in his book than the topic of discussion.
Which, Sunset found, as she dared to draw closer out of sheer curiosity, was the homecoming game.
“All I’m saying is Crystal Prep takes themselves way too seriously when it comes to winning,” Flash said. His eyes lit up as he noticed Sunset, and waved her over.
She thought for a second about escaping, but figured that dealing with Schaden now rather than later was much like ripping the bandage off. He was also slightly more bearable with Derpy around. “Hey guys,” she said, placing her tray down and taking a seat. The group greeted her amicably, Micro Chip looking up from his text long enough to smile and wave, then returned to it with a pensive expression. “Why are you guys on about the game? It’s not like any of you are on the team.”
“Yeah,” Schaden agreed. “But Bulk is, and we’re trying to support him.”
There was a moment’s pause as Sunset waited for him to say more or see if anyone else was going to jump in, then she said, “Well-”
“See we’re trying to figure out how to up his game,” Schaden continued.
“...I see-”
“Cause the game is against Crystal Prep this year and they’re waaaaayyyyyy too into winning to be healthy.”
“… ...oka-”
“And I love Bulk as much as the next guy, but he’s not exactly the best football player in the world.”
“Okay but-”
“Also hi.”
“SCHADEN,” Sunset said loudly, as the other boys chuckled behind their hands.
One of the universal truths about Schadenfreude, and the reason he actually had friends and was in general relatively social, was that while dealing with Schaden was like pulling teeth with a crane game, watching Schaden was a spectator sport that really should have some kind of concession stand. He was the funniest person in the room. If he was ignoring you. “Yes?” he said innocently.
“I think she was trying to say something,” Derpy pointed out. Schaden cast a glance over his shoulder at her, and sighed. Derpy had a way of keeping Schaden in check by sheer virtue of not finding most of what he did funny past a certain point, and being one of the few people in the world whose opinion Schaden actually valued. That relatively short list included his tax lawyer father and the career counselor, Discord, who Sunset was pretty sure had a stash of something illegal and narcotic somewhere about his person at all times, so Schaden actually reeling himself in was rare.
Sunset nodded. “Why, exactly, are we trying to help Bulk Biceps win specifically, instead of the whole team?”
The boys exchanged glances, then broke into raucous laughter. Sandalwood rubbed his eyes and explained, between chuckles, “We’re not trying to help the team win, that’s kind of a lost cause. I mean, the most athletic people in the school are all girls. Our football team is… well, it sucks, man. No, we’re trying to help Biceps look good while he’s losing. I mean, there’s losing, and then there’s gettin’ your tush handed to you wrapped in your own t-shirt.”
“We just want to help him put on his best game so that it’s actually not a complete washout this year,” Flash added.
“Why?” Sunset replied. “Is he trying to get scouted?”
Again, the table broke down in laughter. Derpy, one of the only other people at the table either not getting the joke or not caring, explained. “No, he’s already on track to get a scholarship to an Arts college. But there’s a girl he’s trying to impress, so...”
Sunset’s confused expression relaxed into one of smug understanding. “Oh, I gotcha. You’re all trying to help him play wingman. So who’s the chick?”
The air at the table suddenly, yet subtly, changed. Sandalwood seemed to remember this was a ‘lunch’ period and thus took great interest in his lunch, Flash had decided that the walls were suddenly the most interesting thing at the table, and Schaden was barely restraining a smile. Derpy, however, seemed not to get the memo that whoever Bulk Biceps was trying to impress, it was supposed to be some kind of secret.
“Oh, it’s Sonata Dusk!” she chirped.
Sunset didn’t remember the trip from sitting upright to her forehead hitting the table, but judging by the now throbbing headache, it was an impressively short one.
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I guess the reformed villain and former girlfriend to Flash, one Sunset Shimmer, finds it headdesk-worthy to consider a former villain becoming someone else's girlfriend? Is there some grand hidden joke here?
8896803
...you haven't met Sonata, have you?
Meh. this chapter was awful lot telling and not showing. Not super into it.
8896803
I think the hidden joke is Sunset finds it hard to believe they're having that hard a time figuring out how to impress Sonata. Depending on how she's written, she ranges from sweet and bubbly to adorably submissive to freakishly yandere to a mix of all three...but one thing that's constant is that she's rather ditzy and easily distracted. The simplest way for Bulk to impress her and get her attention for romance would probably be to play the game dressed in a taco suit...as anything less and Sonata might find the most interesting thing about the game the half-time show, and likely the only thing she remembers of it.
Bulk biceps? Art? Sure why not. He already has five other jobs, might as well stack artist on there too.
Wait, what kind of art?
8896861
I'm basing that off of his violin skills.
Isn't she the nice one of the three sirens ?
8896886
Once again, depending of the writter. Mind you, affable evil is still evil.
8896828
Neither have you, since we're doing that.
That's more Tuesday for me.
Why do you think we love him?
Beg pardon?
Worth mentioning, Game Called, not Caled.
8897031 Considering what kind of story this is, it's sort of better that way.
Huh, I view Tuesday as worse than Wednesday due to Wednesday at least means your halfway to the weekends. Tuesday is just Tuesday.
8896886
Eh.. yeah.. she's also the one who typically gets the short straw in certain fanfics involving the Dazzlings.
8896873
Still, Bulk Biceps in a beret, drawing an ultra-muscular Mona Lisa, theres an image for you.
8896980
And here's part two, blustery day:
At first I thought you'd beaten me to it, but you've got a different segment. :P
8896980
8897268
I have a Winnie the Pooh crossover I've thought about picking up again.
Sonata Dusk?! Oh gee, ah. . . Umm. . .err
Best of luck to Bulk? I guess?
BWAHAHAHAHA
When I was in a small grade school, our pathetic little flag football team was abysmal. We mocked this one team who lost to us, because you had to be truly awful to lose a game to us. But it was all about fun, so we hardly cared.
8897551 So Bulk's into soul-eating horse fish... that's neat.
We need some commissions of this from Furaffinity, me thinks.
8897037
Oh dear, you're so very right. Schadenfreude even got into the title of the story.
This pretty much sums up the whole of the Schaden-verse series, doesn't it?
8898936
Well, in most fics Sonata has a nice rack, and her cute innocent persona can be alluring too.
But yeah, I agree vampires and similar are not dating material no matter what trashy romance novels day about it.
8908638 And there's that IDIOTIC Disney TV zombie movie... holy crap is that stupid.
Pfft! Snork! Hahahaha, oh, wow...
8903557
Quite.
BAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!
"You show me a Good Loser and I'll show you a Loser."
Te DiBiase (Father of the current one)
"You show me a Good Loser and I'll show you a Loser."
Ted DiBiase (Father of the current one)