In the Other Corner...!
Schadenfreude pulled up a chair, unbidden, to join the girls at their table. Everyone except Sunset and Twilight made a point to scoot away from him, even though there was almost no room to do so. “Oh come on,” he drawled. “I’m not that bad. Maybe. Possibly. Most of the time.”
Twilight, having had little to no exposure to the boy, regarded her friend’s reaction, measuring it against the newcomer’s presence. “Um, hello? I’m Twilight Sparkle,” she said uneasily, trying to gauge the situation. “And you are?”
Schaden sat up in his chair properly, with an almost arrow straightness, and smiled. Something about that smile made Twilight’s back teeth grind. “Pleasure to finally meet you properly, Twilight,” he said, his lightly effeminate tones belaying a certain, mischievous demeanor. “My name is Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude von Douchehorse.”
Sunset rolled her eyes as Twilight did a double- and triple- take. “Don’t ask, Twilight,” she groaned. “Look, Schaden, we need to talk.”
He nodded encouragingly. “I agree wholeheartedly. Hence why I’m here.”
“What, you couldn’t like, wait until we were all somewhere else to talk to Sunset?” Rainbow groaned.
“And risk her just blowing me off for when the conversation was more convenient for her? We’d never say a word to each other,” Freude reasoned.
Sunset mentally cursed his insight, as that was kind of the whole plan. She knew, however, that it was easier to just rip off the bandage and talk now rather than later, to avoid giving Schaden time to plan… whatever it was he was planning. “So,” she grunted, rather more gruffly than she had intended. “Let’s get this straight. I’m actually taking this job seriously, Schaden. I know that might seem like a foreign concept to you, but-”
“Not at all,” Schaden interjected.
Applejack gave him a flat stare. “Oh really? Since when do you know the value of a hard day’s work, huh?”
The challenge rolled off Schadenfreude’s back like water. “Oh, please. Do you really think I could stay the Sergeant-at-Arms for more than a week if I didn’t know how to reel it in and knuckle down on occasion?”\ Besides, I have a part-time job, I know a thing or two about responsibility.”
Sunset Shimmer barely restrained a laugh. “A job. Really? Who do you work for?”
Surprisingly, Rarity answered for him. “His father, as it happens. Their… office is only a few shops down from the outlet I work at in the mall. What they actually do, I couldn’t tell you.”
Schaden grinned. “My dad’s a tax attorney. I’m his secretary.”
“Because of-freaking-course you are,” Sunset drawled. “Alright, fine. You have some sense of… responsibility, as you call it. I call it not being a total ass twenty-four seven, but tomato tomahto.”
Twilight balked at Sunset’s uncharacteristic language, but otherwise the mood around the table was the same-disagreeable. “So, um… you’re on the Planning Committee for the Fall Formal, then?” Sparkle asked, hoping to gear the conversation somewhere constructive.
The boy turned his attention back to Twilight, smiling, well, at least genuinely. There was still something about his expression that hinted at a sense of ne’er-do-well, but she couldn’t quite place it, and she had learned not to judge a book by its cover since coming to this school. “I am,” he said excitedly. “And we’ve had a ton of suggestions about what to do with it already!”
Sunset’s eyes widened. “Wha-how?!” she yelped. “We just got the jobs yesterday afternoon! The formal isn’t for weeks!”
“I set up a Suggestion Box Tweeter account. We’ve been getting messages all of last night and this morning!” In what might have been a genuine attempt to ease the obvious pain on Sunset’s face, he added, “Don’t worry, I’ve already filtered through most of them. You’d be surprised how many of them were just straight up rude comments or threats! Apparently saving the world just doesn’t mean as much to some people anymore,” he sighed, raising his hands in exasperation. “Of course, a good portion of them were at me, as well, so there’s that.”
“Is there a point to this, by chance, Schaden?” Sunset groaned. “Like, a specific reason you came over here right now to bother me, as opposed to, I don’t know, literally any other form of communication available to you?!”
“Considering almost all of you have me blocked on almost every social media sight and cellular whitelist, I didn’t have that many options. And besides, no one opens letters I write them anymore,” he said, in obviously mock dismay.
Rarity glared dagers at him. “That’s because you have a disturbing obsession with glitter bombs.”
Schaden chuckled. “Yeah, I do. Speaking of which, no one go near Trixie’s locker this afternoon. I owe her for setting off a smoke bomb in science class to try and ditch homework. The sprinkler system almost completely destroyed my science experiment.”
Twilight’s eyes almost crossed at the blasphemy. “A… smoke bomb?! In a laboratory?!” she shrieked, and proceeded to hyperventilate.
“Oh great, now she’s having a panic attack,” Sunset groaned. “And… ok, thanks for the warning, I guess? But you still haven’t told me specifically what you’re here for.”
“True,” Schaden agreed.
“...and?”
“And what?”
Shimmer felt the rage in her building. “WHAT. DO YOU WANT.”
“Well, I would say a pony, but given present company-”
“SCHADEN!”
“Ok, ok!” he concede, holding up his arms in front of his face. “Jeez. I just wanted to ask if you had any after-school plans during the week. I thought setting up a regular meeting for the Committee might help.”
Sunset mulled the wuestion over. She had her part-time job, but she’d taken the position of Chairman, or rather, co-Chairman, knowing she’d need to sacrifice her free time. “I’ve got Tuesdays and Thursdays free after school. How about twice a week?”
“That sounds fantastic. I only really do work for my dad on the weekends, anyway,” he added, unbidden. “Well, I guess I’ll see you in a few hours!”
Sunset raised an eyebrow, until she figured that today was, in fact, Tuesday. “Great, can’t wait. Woo-hoo.”
Schaden smiled, waved politely, and left. At which point, Twilight turned to her friends. “Okay, what the hell was that all about?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow, then said, “Oh, right. I guess y’all haven’t been around long enough to know about ‘im. Schadenfreude’s kind of…”
“A total ass?” Rainbow offered.
“A crude, distasteful, annoying pedant?” Rarity chimed in.
“A total party pooper?” Pinkie added.
Sunset just sighed. “Yes. All of those, actually. Schaden has this bad habit of pushing people’s buttons like they’re emote controls. No, not like I did,” she added, when Twilight gave her a look. Sunset had long since explained most if not all of the terrible things she’d done, if only so she wasn’t caught off guard by some of the rather outrageous, if true, accusations occasionally slung at her friend. “He isn’t like, malicious or anything. He’s just one of those guys that likes watching people squirm in annoyance. You know the type: likes to whistle ‘It’s a Small World’ in crowded rooms; takes the pegs off of those cheap plastic chairs we have here so that they don’t balance properly; thinks glitter bombs are an acceptable form of communication.”
“Likes to grease the dials on the lockers in the locker rooms,” Rainbow growled.
“Leaves only enough food in the buffet line dish for half o’ half a servin’,” Applejack lamented.
“Tapes motion-activated sound boxes that make duck noises to the inside of doorframes,” Rarity groaned.
“Ruins parties,” Pinkie Pie shimed in, having been rather quiet the entire time. So had Fluttershy, but that was a regular occurrence by now. It helped that she didn’t have much to say about Schaden, as he tended to leave her alone.
“Ruins Parties?” Twilight asked. “That sounds a little more drastic than practical jokes.”
Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. “Well, ok, he doesn’t do it on purpose, but there’s like, nobody that really likes him so when he shows up to a party everyone thinks he’s up to something and they all get moody and the party starts dying and then peopkle leave cause it’s not fun anymore and eventually everyone’s gone and it’s only seven o’clock and you still have like a thousand pounds of food left and a bajillion gallons of punch and know you have to clean up and the rest of the night is a total bust and-” she kept going in the background as Twilight just turned to Sunset again.
“So how is this guy a Sergeant-at-Arms? I mean, he seemed ok enough… but that sounds awfully like the kind of thing you get detention for, and I think that kind of disqualifies you,” Sparkle mused.
Sunset shrugged wearily. “Oh, it’s not like he does that kind of thing all at once. He likes to pace it out. Matter of fact, he hasn’t really done that much this year. I mean besides booby-trapping Trixie’s locker,” she added, as Twilight opened her mouth to argue. “And most of his shenanagins are instigated. Most. Really the worst thing about him is his personality. I mean, he’s not exactly a jerk he’s just...”
“Moe grating than nails on a chalkboard? To the tune of ‘The Song That Never Ends’?” Rainbow groaned.
Rarity shook her head consolingly. “I can’t believe you have to work with him,” she said consolingly. “I’m so sorry.”
Sunset put on a brave smile. “Well, he’s not completely awful. Could be worse.”
At which point the cafeteria doors burst open, and a rather fabulously sparkly Trixie Lulamoon stormed into the room. “SCHADENFREUDE!”
“Although I can’t think of how,” she added.
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Welp, this is gonna be fun.
Only downside this time is that I have to wait for the chapters. 
Perhaps he is kin somewhere along the line but I don't think that a glitter bomb is an over the top retaliation for a smoke bomb in science class. On the other hand in my thirty + years of teaching the science department was known for using nukes to kill mice. When it came to pranks. No one messed with the Science Department!
excitement.mp3
... the thing is, this is wonderful. But I imagine Schadenfreude a little older in my stories...
Ah well. I'm already writing fanfiction.
8764866
He is older, in pony world.
Gods, I love shaden
"Pffft Whatever, doing your taxes and stuff, probably."
He's a troll in the sense that he riles everyone up, but he has a code, and he's not the type to go out of his way to actively torture someone.
He's a jerk, but that doesn't mean he's not good at what he does. Also, there's a "\" after occasion you wanna remove.
I'm having you voiced by Joseph from Ancient Magus Bride.
That.
What's an emote control?
There's a method to his madness, and he isn't the kind to actively harm someone, so, mostly he's put up with.
Hello, best pony.
I don't make edit comments like this, but that little typo just amuses me.
On another topic, oh Schadenfreude, never change.
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8765024
If I remember correctly, the spelling errors in the previous story were left intentionally to annoy people, the author may be doing the same for this one. Keeping in the true spirit of schadenfreude.
8765253
Well if that's true then that is awesome
8765273
8765253
Didn't know that, and if true then I agree with you.
It's bad. I am shipping him with Sunset for that one comment. *holds up the shame stick*
I usually dont point out typos...
I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be "remote controls" but I like "emote controls" so much better.
The world needs people like you and me
Who've been knocked around by fate.
'Cause when people see us,
they don't want to be us,
and that makes them feel great!
He provides a vital service to society, you, and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
to be!
With slight edits.
His pony self could come through. Princess Twilight could visit and encounter him.
Haha! Great to see this guy back, excellent interactions as always
8765253
I am dying right now, I had no clue
Also it's a blacklist to prevent specific people from calling, unless sunset only allows certain people to contact her -- much more upkeep8765163
It is adorable when reading it in your head yes
“Well, I would say a pony, but given present company-”
That was the best joke so far. I really liked the timing of that one.
I always hear Schaden talk in the voice of Dr. Strangelove.
Also, I would love to see Schaden hook up with Dan. And then see if the world would survive.
zastavki.com/pictures/640x480/2013/Cartoons_Dan_vs_051867_29.jpg
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But how does he know?
HE KNOWS
..... oh wait, everyone knows don't they 
While it's being remixed by a crappy DJ
mulled the wuestion over
Not to mention the "emote controls" but that one might actually make sense.
Nails on the chalkboard to the Song That Never Ends. Wow. Nice.
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I am curious as to who that is.
Especially if it survived Does A Thing.
'Emote control' is a wonderful phrase.
*Cringes and shudders at the exact same time* Again with the visual imagery that makes me feel exactly what is being described.
Sounds like he’d get along well with Deadpool.
God, your killing me man!