The next Monday was, for all intents and purposes, exactly like every other school day. Having come off a rather fun and annoyingly short weekend, Sunset found herself a bit lethargic as she made her way to her first class. She’d made some headway over the last couple of days in the planning department, having secured a tentative reservation at the Pier and, excluding Friday night, hadn’t heard from Schaden all weekend. Overall, she was in a pretty decent mood.
A good mood that indeed, carried her through her first few classes of the day, and into lunch.=, where she met her first major obstacle: for some horrible reason, Schaden was sitting at the lunch table with her friends. “Schaden,” she said simply as she took a seat.
The only boy present nodded with a small smile, then turned back to Pinkie Pie, who he’d been chatting with up to now. “So I know the dinner menu is pretty easy, given the nautical theme, I mean, if we settle on that, but what kind of desserts do you serve with fish?”
“Something that’s like, citrus-y or kinda sour, you know? Fish is a reeeaaaalllly light food, unless you’re talking a fry or something, so you totes don’t wanna serve a heavy dessert with it! We could do something like a sorbet or a key lime pie!” Pinkie explained excitedly.
Sunset tore her attention away for a moment and looked to the other girls. AJ and Dash were currently engaged in their own conversation, something about the Homecoming game, while Rarity and Fluttershy were talking formal wear. Well, Rarity was talking, Fluttershy just seemed to be nodding politely and smiling as her friend rambled on.
Seeing the only other person at the table who wasn’t neck-deep in conversation was Twilight, who was sitting to her left, Sunset nudged her with an elbow. “What is he doing here?” she hissed.
Twilight shrugged. “Not sure. He and Pinkie Pie walked in together and have been talking ever since. Pretty sure they have third period together. He’s been harmless, don’t worry.”
“Oh, he’s always harmless,” Sunset conceded. “But that isn’t mutually exclusive from being an annoying pain in the ass.”
“True,” Twilight agreed, “But he hasn’t been that, either.”
“Hmm...” Sunset said thoughtfully. She kept an eye on Schaden as she ate.
Which he noticed, of course. “You alright, Sunset? You’re kinda giving me the fish-eye, there.”
Pinkie snorted. “Hee-hee, fish-eye.”
“Just… don’t do anything weird, ok? It’s been a good day so far. Don’t need you Schadening up the place,” she warned.
Schaden rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Sunset. I’m not always up to something fishy.” Pinkie laughed even louder.
“Wha- oh I get it, haha. Fish menu, fish puns. Wonderful. It’s not even Mon… day. Oh come on!” Sunset protested, seeing the smirk on Schaden’s face.
“I think you mean ‘Punday’,” he offered.
“No, no we are not doing this,” Sunset growled.
“Getting a little salty, are we?” Pinkie snorted again, leaning on Rarity as she laughed.
“Schaden, I swear to god...”
“Oh, fine, I’ll reel it in a little.” There were a few groans from her friends, as they started paying attention to the spat in front of them.
“Schaden,” Sunset groaned.
“I just thought it’d be harder to bait you than that,” Freude continued, amidst growing protests from the other girls. Indeed, the only one seemingly amused by his bad jokes was Pinkie, who had long since given up trying to sit up straight and was lying on her back in the booth laughing up a storm.
“Stoppit,” Sunset snapped.
“Oh, don’t be so crabby Shimmer!” he retorted gleefully. “I’m just squidding around.”
“Oh, my god, he’s awful,” Twilight moaned, burying her head in her hands.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “I told you.”
“I sea you’ve been telling tails about me,” Schaden said with a smug grin on his face.
“Oh my god, please make him stop,” Dash whined, her head leaning back till she was staring at the ceiling.
“Why? He’s super funny!” Pinkie insisted. “His jokes are really up to scale!” she added, dissolving into a fit of giggles again.
“Oh, not you too!” Sunset moaned.
“Are you really surprised?” Schaden asked. “She’s up to her gills in bad jokes.”
“I’m gonna throw you out with the tide Schaden,” Sunset growled.
“Aww, see? That’s the spirit!” Schaden encouraged. “You always were one to tackle things head on.”
AJ looked at Sunset somewhat disapprovingly. “Yer not really gonna start in now too, are ya?”
“I don’t think she can help it!” Pinkie exclaimed. “She’s hooked.”
Another round of groans rose from the table as Sunset followed Twilight’s lead and hid her head in her hands. “I hate you so much, Schaden.”
“I’ve heard that line before.”
“AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.”
That was literally just an entire chapter of puns... AND I LOVE IT
"Laughs." Ah, puns. It makes me wonder just how interesting any kid raised by Schaden would end up. The dad jokes would be horrible.
Oh, BTW, made use of Schaden in my stories again. Please let me know if my portrayal of him is at all acceptable.
Hook, line, and sinker for this chapter
8860685
I've actually been keeping tabs on those chapters a bit. A friend of mine, River Road, has been reading your series, and lets me know when another Schaden chapter pops up.
Love the shoes idea. Stealing that for later.
A normal weekend then.
She's nuts, but she's not stupid.
Same as usual then.
No. Puns are special, they're the ultimate form of comedy, messing with words and intonation for the sake of comedy, puns are an ART form that even Shakespeare used, and as a pungeon master, I REFUSE to allow that one! It's too damn easy and you can do better!
Fairly certain that wasn't intended.
Well I have to say that 'squidding' was one nautical pun I hadn't heard/read yet! My hat off to you good sir! I wonder if the puns to get anyone to scallop off to Equestria?
*sees story in featured*
ALL OF MY YES.
I've got to say I was worried when I wasn't finding the story funny, and then I read the phone call scene....and then the puns made a comeback. Well done sir don't lose your touch.
I do not have enough hats to take off, sir; a good excuse for puns you do not need
8861078
Just ask someone from TF2 to loan you some, they probably have enough.
8861200
Well played.
8860723
Got a problem with excessive punmanteaus? :P
8861532
First off, that doesn't really work. Second, no, it's just that I'm a pun snob and refuse to allow that one because it's too easy.
8860723 If I hear one more fish-related pun... I'm gonna fillet somepony!
Honestly though, puns are part of the heart and sole of comedy.
So it's no good trying to get punsters to clam up.
(So many puns... Cod-dammit!)
8862399
Now see THOSE are good puns. I'd offer you a cookie for them, but I ran out. I do have muffins if you're interested though.
8862403 (eats muffin... blood lipid levels go OVER 9,000!!!!) I now have lard powers! (fires jets of his congealed, butter-thickness blood at enemies!)
8862399
Oh, for god's sake. You could do better than those puns - it was like shooting fish in a barrel.
8865891 So, you mean I couldn't miss? I mean, that what that idiom means.
If there are so many puns to use that I couldn't help but hit the mark, then perhaps I just need to minnow down the heap to only the best.
Huzzah! The puns have been doubled!
So, when will she snap and murder him?
Did Schaden sabotage his own story? What happened there?
ahem. That was not the backspace key.
8866605
They're all wet.
8961353
....well hello perverted imagination.
I should keep current on the stories here.
I can't fathom why puns are bad.
Sunset's anchor has her fit to be tide.
I see explosions if I pier at the Sunset.
At least we have a way to channel the silliness.
Just putting related words in every sentence is not a pun, but rather, shit.
And also forcing related words where they really don't make any sense.
Squids don't have anything to do with monkeying around at all.
10742652
Speaking as a millennial who was raised on a steady diet of Bill Cosby and The Muppets, your argument is invalid.
10742652
Did.. did you really say that squids aren't animals?
What are they then? Plants? Fungi? Unicellular organisms? Viruses?