• Member Since 4th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

NaiadSagaIotaOar


There is no wrong way to fantasize.

T
Source

Adagio, who everyone knows is an immortal sex goddess, is determined to give her girlfriend a perfect eighteenth birthday. If only she weren't secretly a virgin, it would be easy.


Preread by Tethered-Angel and forbloodysummer.
Art by imDRUNKonTEA.
An entry for FamousLastWords' Two-Faced Charade contest.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 24 )

Well, it's really well done and interesting, but I had to look several times to confirm that this story said 'complete'. It just doesn't feel complete at all, this chapter was a fantastic hook, and explained a lot, but it feels half finished as opposed to an ending. Loved the characters, Adagio's confusion and the way she experienced the world and other people was especially unique. Rarity was good, not breaking into hysterics, probably in part from how confused and freaked out Adagio's look would have been throughout the 'talk'. A great start to something that is missing a end in my opinion.

“And you’ll be seeing plenty of me tomorrow to make up for it, won’t you?”

derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/8/13/1224400__safe_screencap_rarity_28+pranks+later_cropped_discovery+family+logo_lidded+eyes_pony_solo.png

“Darling, that’s… that’s so sweet of you I can almost overlook how stubborn you’re being.”

I really liked this line :pinkiehappy:

You, with the Hot Topic leather jacket

Also, Sunset, girrrrl, we need to talk about this:

img00.deviantart.net/f7ab/i/2017/353/c/c/_vector__sunset_shimmer_cute_by_thebarsection-dbtkxxi.png

That top with your skin tone? No. You look like someone's standing behind you holding puppet arms up with sticks. Mr. Tickle chic really isn't in this year, darling.

shop.mrmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/MRTICKLECANVAS_f40b5cb3-63d9-4cf8-9679-3c66f8829a9f.jpg

Seriously. This is good Sunset:

pre00.deviantart.net/af33/th/pre/f/2017/327/a/b/sunset_shimmer_by_agavoides-dbulce7.jpg

That is not.

8761588 Out of interest, what was it you felt wasn't resolved, and needed to be?

8761815
Just because Rarity isn’t always subtle doesn’t mean she can’t be :raritywink:

I really liked this line

I think it’s my second-favorite out of Rarity’s, or first favorite if we’re excluding single-word outbursts :scootangel: Ah, if only Adagio’d taken it more to heart... :fluttercry:

Seriously. This is good Sunset:

Why the hell is this not canon? :rainbowhuh: Because it’s not cute. Right :ajbemused: Adagio probably thinks it’s cute :heart:

8761848 I agree, the single-word outburst is the highlight :pinkiehappy: Also this line of hers:

“I’m sorry, did you say ‘was’?”

You can feel the temperature drop in the room!

Why the hell is this not canon?:rainbowhuh: Because it’s not cute. Right :ajbemused: Adagio probably thinks it’s cute:heart:

That's just it. You're dealing with a franchise where the characters we're supposed to cheer for are dressed like this:

derpicdn.net/img/2014/10/28/752743/large.png

(I hardly know where to start here. The mismatched neon tights are the obvious sin against decency, but... Applejack's shoes? Pinkie's waist disappearing into her hair?)

And the ones we're supposed to rooting against never fail to look spectacular:

vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/f/f3/The_Dazzlings_laughing_EG2.png/revision/latest?cb=20141029124229

(That's how you rock an off-the-shoulder top, Sunset, not with a jacket collar which renders the whole thing pointless. You've failed so hard that you need to learn from Sonata Dusk).

Yeah, I think Adagio would be completely on side with how Sunset looks there. And it's still cute, just in a biker babe way. But, if there's one thing we've learned from the changeling transformation, it's that black is bad, and colourful is good.

8761588
I’m glad you liked most of it! And thanks for the bookshelf add! I’ve not read many of those other stories, but the ones I have have been good enough that I’m pleased and flattered to be put amongst them :pinkiehappy:

I can kinda see where you’re coming from when it comes to the ending, to be honest :twilightoops: That’s the part I think I most wish I could spend a lot more time on, but, you know, deadlines and stuff. And I completely agree that this could have been a first chapter instead of a one-shot, as there’re definitely some directions in which the plot could keep going. But, seconding what forbloodysummer said, what do you feel still needed to be resolved at the end? I can definitely agree that not everyone gets a resolution, since Sunset, Rarity and Aria all kinda don’t, but it’s much less their story and much more Adagio’s, and the ending seems like a kind of resolution for Adagio to me.

But that’s just how I see things. I’d love to hear more detailed thoughts from you, if you have any you wouldn’t mind sharing :twilightsmile:

8761815

8761905

Hmm, this might be a little long, so forgive that. Answering both of you makes the most sense since it's the same question. Before I start, let me say this is my opinion, and this is not meant to badger or sound annoyed, or even change your mind if you feel this ending is how you want to go. In the end, you are the writer and you should do or feel whatever you like about your story. :pinkiehappy:

With that in mind, I suppose I'll look at the main point in my head that revolves a bit around this quote.

but it’s much less their story and much more Adagio’s, and the ending seems like a kind of resolution for Adagio to me.

For me, the greatest issue is there are too many ways for this to go to be a resolution.

Everyone involved in this is in a emotionally fragile state when it ends. Adagio is completely off kilter and feels she is horrible and it was better to stay away than harm others, Rarity is hurt and angry at Sunset taking advantage of Adagio 'and probably due to the love confession and amazingly poor timing', and Sunset is torn apart because she just had her own heart broken and is now trying to defend herself at the same time. Noone is thinking straight, so it is going to be time before any of this is talked out, and emotions are going to dominate action.

Because of this, we are more at the half way point of the story to me, we've seen the dilemma and the drama, next is often resolution or a choice to be made to make it a sad ending. If not resolution, then a definite end on what path occurs. Right now, with Aria's utter lack of communication on the phone, we don't even know if she is just going to say 'no', and let Adagio flounder on her own, as opposed to being let back into the group.

If it had ended with her meeting up with the other two Dazzlings and resolving to put what she had with Rarity and the others behind her, that would have been a resolution, but as it stands, she's in her room, on the phone, awaiting a reply an hour or two at best after the conflict between the three of them occurred. We are still waiting to see if she goes back to them or gets rejected, of it Rarity pounds on her door in the next few minutes, or even Sunset. Or even Applejack as a neutral party between the three of them. There is no defined way the story is going to go, or expectation that would let me say this is the path that will be taken by Adagio. For all we know, in the morning, she might reconsider and stop by Rarity's.

And yes, a cliffhanger ending can be just fine, but this is more of a cliffhanger to me right when we are meant to see how the blow back of this hits everyone, what they will do or respond to the situation now that the issue is out in the open and contact has injured all parties in differing ways. I would not have been surprised if Adagio had hid behind a couch while trying to understand what went wrong instead of running. Her emotional plight is quite unique which makes it very effective.

In this case, I really don't see Rarity leaving Adagio on her own, I was almost expecting it to end with Rarity banging on her door, so it is almost impossible to me to really believe Adagio is going to manage to get back to her old group without a few more encounters to say the least. Rarity and/or Sunset being the main two. So, in that regard, it feels unfinished to me.

I hope this helps and made sense. :twilightsheepish: Good luck on the contest!

8762005
Firstly, I would just like to say that I deeply wish I got more comments like this one, because I think you’ve just made me think about my own story more than any other commenter has, and that’s wonderful :twilightsmile: This kind of open ending thing isn’t something I’ve really tried before, so getting this kind of thoughtful criticism is quite delightful, and the length is of no concern whatsoever :pinkiehappy:

Now, I’m not entirely sure I agree with everything you said. The way that I see this story (Which is by no means unbiased, since I’m both interpreting what I see differently, perhaps, and also seeing what I meant to write instead of what I actually wrote, so please don’t take this to be the absolute truth), I think it should end about where it does right now.

Here’s my reasoning: the thing that’s motivated just about everything that’s happened has been Adagio’s desire to be a different person. Instead of trying to act like a conninving, conflict-causing siren, she’s trying to act like Rarity’s perfect girlfriend. She’s trying to play the rules and do the things she thinks Rarity will like and all that, and that’s why she does most of the things she does.

The ending, right now, is the first moment where she’s not acting on that desire any more. If she were, she’d be trying to set things right, but instead of doing that she reaches out to Aria, thereby taking the first step on a path that she believed led to exactly the place that she didn’t want to go to. To a certain degree, I don’t think that the ending should go any farther, just because I don’t think the question of whether or not Adagio succeeds in getting back with Aria is nearly as important as the fact that she tries, nor as connected to the rest of the story.

That being said, I do think I agree that there’s an extra layer of ambiguity in there, which perhaps detracts from the ending. Namely, that Aria doesn’t respond at all, and that there’s nothing to base her possible responses on. The ending I had in mind is somewhat contingent on Aria being at least somewhat agreeable, but there’s nothing in the story that suggests she is, and that opens up the door for Adagio to be stuck in a limbo of sorts--if Sunset and Rarity don’t sort things out on their own and Aria says no, then she’s stuck not moving in either direction, whereas either group reaching out for her would pull her along in either a good or bad direction, which I think is more like what I wanted to leave a little ambiguous.

So, the way it is right now might be too vague: as it stands, the question the ending introduces isn’t so much “What happens next?” as it is “Does anything happen at all?” which I think isn’t quite what I would like.

The speed with which the deadline is approaching makes me hesitant about changing very much, unfortunately :twilightoops: I’m sorely tempted to at least try and address that excess ambiguity, though. There probably isn’t time to add very much to it, but maybe making Aria give some kind of response and having at least a possibility of Sunset/Rarity/Applejack coming back would help clear things up?

I hope this helps and made sense.

Definitely made sense, yes! And it’s notified me of a potential problem I would never have thought of on my own, which I think can only be a good thing :pinkiehappy: Thank you very much for taking the time to write all that out :twilightsmile:

Good luck on the contest!

Thank you again! I haven’t looked at the other entries much, but I see some names I recognize and think I might be needing it :twilightsheepish:

8762638

This kind of open ending thing isn’t something I’ve really tried before

Heh, I have tried the cliffhanger ending many times, some successful, others involved me making a new chapter or two to correct how poor it went over. :twilightsheepish:

Here’s my reasoning: the thing that’s motivated just about everything that’s happened has been Adagio’s desire to be a different person. Instead of trying to act like a conninving, conflict-causing siren, she’s trying to act like Rarity’s perfect girlfriend. She’s trying to play the rules and do the things she thinks Rarity will like and all that, and that’s why she does most of the things she does.

Hmm..I may have missed that, in some context. While I did see that she was trying to be a good girlfriend to Rarity, I did not connect that to the rest of her last, I guess six months *since she has only been dating Rarity for three, I have to assume there was some time where they got to know eachother and all that*? I assumed that she was trying to be a good girlfriend, specially with Rarity's special day coming up, but not that she was trying that behavior with everyone else. The whole "How would Rarity's perfect girlfriend respond to this situation?" deal. If she has been doing that with her life for the last few months, then I can see her melting down as walking on eggshells like that would be...intense for so long.

That is a hard thing to fully convey in a single chapter like this without going over multiple time jumps, you do well on getting most of that point across, I just did not get the...time context I suppose on just how long Adagio has been acting this way, and that she acts this way with everyone, not just Rarity.

The ending, right now, is the first moment where she’s not acting on that desire any more. If she were, she’d be trying to set things right, but instead of doing that she reaches out to Aria, thereby taking the first step on a path that she believed led to exactly the place that she didn’t want to go to. To a certain degree, I don’t think that the ending should go any farther, just because I don’t think the question of whether or not Adagio succeeds in getting back with Aria is nearly as important as the fact that she tries, nor as connected to the rest of the story.

Ah, now here's the amusing part. As a writer, I agree with you. As a reader, I want more. :scootangel: So I'd rather encourage more to be written than the easiest solution of just having Aria speak and give us a idea of how it could go.

So, the way it is right now might be too vague: as it stands, the question the ending introduces isn’t so much “What happens next?” as it is “Does anything happen at all?” which I think isn’t quite what I would like.

Pretty much, I mean, it would be kind of amusing for it to end with Aria telling Adagio to go fuck herself or something, buut that's more comedically dark and probably not what you are looking for. Plus that gives the reader more of a feeling that Rarity and Adagio will patch things up as opposed to the nebulous unknown Aria saying something like 'About fucking time you woke up' over the phone would bring *I tend to view Aria as the one in the group likely to swear the most...apparently*. :rainbowhuh:

The speed with which the deadline is approaching makes me hesitant about changing very much, unfortunately :twilightoops: I’m sorely tempted to at least try and address that excess ambiguity, though. There probably isn’t time to add very much to it, but maybe making Aria give some kind of response and having at least a possibility of Sunset/Rarity/Applejack coming back would help clear things up?

Yep, if you really just wanted, altering it so Aria says something confirming she is good with Adagio coming back would be enough. Actually, it kind of gets more intense if Aria says that, and then Adagio hears someone running up the steps of her apartment, or if she hears a frantic knocking on her door. More so if Aria says they'll be there to pick her up in ten minutes...means a possible showdown between the two groups on Adagio's fate...but those are just some quick thoughts I had.

Per normal, hope that helped and I feel you wrote a good entry, regardless of who you are up against. I didn't win the last contest I tried, but I gave it a good try and don't regret it. :pinkiehappy:

8764390

but not that she was trying that behavior with everyone else.

This, I completely get, because I think that aspect of her behavior is much more subdued when she’s with Sunset and she doesn’t really interact with anyone else throughout the story. I’d say it’s still the motivating factor behind the most important decisions she makes with regards to Sunset, though (She withholds information because she thinks Rarity would like to keep it a surprise and doesn’t want Sunset worrying about her, and agrees to sleep with Sunset because she thinks that’ll make for a better birthday experience for Rarity, and so on). So I like to think that it’s present in her interactions with most people, to varying extents, but it’s mostly Rarity’s high expectations for her special day that get Adagio freaking out and panicking a bit.

*I tend to view Aria as the one in the group likely to swear the most...apparently*

Ah, you’re definitely not the only one. I seem to be mentally incapable of writing any Aria that doesn’t swear like a sailor :twilightsheepish: Dunno what it is about her, I guess I just think she’s the one most likely to not give a damn how other people see her, whereas, say, Adagio might be more interested in at least keeping up a polite persona from time to time.

Ah, now here's the amusing part. As a writer, I agree with you. As a reader, I want more.:scootangel:So I'd rather encourage more to be written than the easiest solution of just having Aria speak and give us a idea of how it could go.

This, I can completely sympathize with, because I think that open endings are somewhat satisfyingly artistic, in some sense, but I tend to treat literature and fanfiction as light entertainment that I don’t need to think about to enjoy or appreciate, which I think is what makes me normally gravitate towards longer stories that can more properly reach firm conclusions. Alas, that 15,000 word limit got used up surprisingly quickly :fluttercry: I might revisit this idea after the contest’s over, just because I most definitely wouldn’t mind doing more with it, but for now I just don’t think there’s space or time to expand it very much.

So, unfortunately, I might have to settle for giving Aria a line indicating her agreeableness.

Actually, it kind of gets more intense if Aria says that, and then Adagio hears someone running up the steps of her apartment, or if she hears a frantic knocking on her door. More so if Aria says they'll be there to pick her up in ten minutes...means a possible showdown between the two groups on Adagio's fate...but those are just some quick thoughts I had.

I love that idea, and if this were to be turned into a longer story I might very well end up doing that, but I think that might end up taking the ending in a different direction than I want right now. Maybe that’d make for a better story, but I’d much rather not be second-guessing myself too much the day before the deadline. Thanks for the suggestion, though!

Yeah, honestly, I’m not expecting to win. But I really love how most of this story came out, and I only started writing it after a day-long brainstorming session with a friend who also entered the contest, so I’m definitely glad I was able to participate :twilightsmile:

An excellent find for me indeed; I'd seen this story as a suggestion after reading a particular story about cosmetology, and I have no regrets.

So, I see that there are numerous mentions being made of the ending, and I must say that I both agree and disagree with them. By the look of things, the "I thought you'd never ask" line was what you put in to help make it feel more like an ending, yes? I can imagine what it must have looked like to others without it, and feel that this little snippet was all it took to both give a sense of conclusion that the readers wanted and still keep at least some of the ambiguity you aimed for. It leaves my imagination reeling with different answers for my own "What comes next?" in my head, which I would think was the end goal in the first place.

As for what I think would come next... I see independence on the horizon. After a brief stint with Aria and Sonata, Adagio realizes that she can't return to the toxicity that was the Dazzlings' dynamic. However, she can't see anything good coming of her returning to the Rainbooms either (or at least, not initially), and decides that she'll have to go through a sink-or-swim phase of life, learning how to stand on her own without a rock to lean on. Once she indisputably becomes her own woman, she gives both the Rainbooms and the Dazzlings another chance to reconnect and befriend her, but on her terms.

When it comes to the relationships depicted therein, I have to admit that I'm a little bit more on Sunset's side than Rarity's, but I have a noteworthy bias when it comes to Sunset adding to her ever-increasing harem. The actions on all three parties' ends are understandable and about as in-character as I can say an Equestria Girls story involving sex can be. Adagio's trying so hard already, so when Rarity and Sunset make the argument more about each other than Adagio and the siren sees that, apparently, abandoning her nature as a strife-inducing witch is virtually impossible, it all makes my chest painfully tight. She even tried to be the bigger woman and take at least part of the blame for it, but the kind of helplessness she must feel when she can't seem to so much as touch anyone without somehow becoming a source of animosity between others makes her decision to leave her two now-former lovers all the more justifiable. And even if Rarity and Sunset can get over their scorn for one another, they're still going to have to deal with the fact that them not really listening to Adagio has driven her to flee back to the only thing she's known before the Rainbooms came into the picture.

And then there's Adagio herself. While I did say that everyone was "in-character," the way Adagio behaves is so entirely unlike how she is in Equestria Girls... and yet it feels like exactly how she would act anyway, were she to try to make amends with the Rainbooms. She's had not just immense power, but also entire layers of perception ripped away from her, and with those empathic and telepathic senses available to her no longer, everything is going to be borderline terrifying for a long time, if not for the rest of her life. That her new girlfriends are willing to help does soften the blow and perhaps hasten a recovery, but for her to lose those powers still is to a siren what going blind or deaf is to a human. It's really quite an effective way to draw sympathy from the reader.

There is one other thing I have to agree upon with those who also bothered to leave comments, and that's a desire to see a continuation of this concept, if not this story. Were it not for my own piece that I'm working on, I might have declared that I would do so myself, but alas. 'Twas not meant to be. All in all, an excellent read, and I'm ever-thankful for the site's suggestion protocol having pointed it out to me.

8947898
So. Regarding the ending. Yes, once Phaoray brought it up that the ending was too ambiguous, there were only two lines that were added, and I think they’re the most critical of that whole last scene. The original ending did not have Aria responding, which I think was the change I was most reluctant to make simply because I liked keeping her be totally silent. The problem, though, is that, like you were saying, I wanted to be hinting at what Adagio might possibly do next, and having Aria’s reply be omitted felt like it added an extra layer of obscurity that made things lean too far towards “Nothing at all.”

Anyway. The rest of your thoughts have been an absolute joy to read, because there’re a couple of places where you basically parroted what my own analysis of the story would be, and that’s just fantastic to see, if only really for my own benefit :heart: So, thank you very very much for reading and enjoying and taking the time to write all this up for me, because it was a fantastic thing to wake up to :pinkiehappy: I would reply to it in more detail, but there’re so many places where I would just be saying, “Yes, I completely agree,” that I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble.

When it comes to the relationships depicted therein, I have to admit that I'm a little bit more on Sunset's side than Rarity's, but I have a noteworthy bias when it comes to Sunset adding to her ever-increasing harem.

Ah, well. I would argue with you, but, eh... Sunset adding everyone to her harem kinda would make all the problems that cropped up in this story go away :heart: So I can’t fault you for having good taste, is what I’m saying :raritywink: I do like that you said that, though, because I think that Sunset and Rarity here both did some things right when it came to Adagio and some things very, very wrong. I’m not entirely certain if I’m inclined to favor one or the other more, though. Perhaps slightly Rarity, I think--she seemed like the one of the three who’s closest to being a “victim” here--but now I’m thinking about what we’ve seen of Sunset and Adagio here and thinking that might not be the “correct” conclusion.

Now. Regarding the possibility of a continuation. Adagio, by the end of this story, having been exposed to both Sunset and Rarity, has too much of an idea of what good relationships can do for her to be truly satisfied going back to Aria and Sonata. They could perhaps offer her a kind of kinship and understanding that the Rainbooms simply couldn’t give her, but I feel like Adagio would see Aria in particular as very dark, antagonistical figure. But, as you said, she also would not at all feel like she could go back to the Rainbooms without stirring up a whole lot of trouble. So, what I imagine would probably happen in a hypothetical continuation is pretty much what you predicted, where Adagio stays with Aria and Sonata for a bit until they wear her down too far, then break away a second time and begin her long, laborious ascent into independence.

Which sounds absolutely lovely, by the way :heart:

Unfortunately... well, I’m just not sure I could do that idea justice right now. It’s unfortunate to say, but I think that’s honestly how I feel about right now. If, when you are done with your own story, you would like to come back and write a continuation to this one, I would love to see that, and I’d love to talk about it with you.

Thanks again for commenting! I have to say I do wish this story would get a little bit more attention, but when I get comments like this on it I simply don’t think I have anything to complain about :twilightsmile:

Soge #13 · June 3rd · · ·

What a great fic! I love the characterizations for all involved, and how they eventually collided. It reads like a train crash in slow motion, and the conclusion completely blindsided me, in a way that was really effective. I was expecting this to be resolved in a more "typical shipfic" manner, so the fact that you went into this particular direction was really effective in my opinion.

8963527
It's a little odd to say, because I'm actually quite fond of both the pairings in this story, but while I did consider a happier, more "typical shipfic" ending (Most likely, it would've been something like Sunset arrives during Rarity's big announcement, sees how happy she and Adagio are together, and resolves to not ruin it by speaking up) I just don't think the end result would've been half as interesting to me as this one turned out to be :twilightoops:

Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

This ending could also be a time for the other Main Six to shine. Applejack was already suggested as a level head to mediate between Rarity and Sunset, while Adagio needs a Flutterhug, badly. Rainbow and Pinkie could run interference with Aria and Sonata if needed. Sci-Twi can coordinate communication between teams.

Or maybe just explosions?

8984446
Explosions are probably the most likely result of the Humane 7 hanging out after the end of this story :raritystarry:

I have reviewed your story! You can find it here. My only hope is that you find it at least somewhat helpful, and as always, I thank you for the time and effort put into your creation. This was a quite well-made story.

Looking back on one of the other comments, I seemed to have somewhat similar issue with its climax. However, I still enjoyed this story. It was well worth the read. :twilightsmile:

8995530
Thanks for the review, I'll make sure to take a look at it!

I will admit, the ending was the one part where I wished I'd had more time before the contest's deadline, so it doesn't surprise me that's it towards the end where people tended to start to have issues with it.

And, of course, I'm very glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

8995609

Yeah, I figured it may be something like that. I was honored to review this piece. :pinkiehappy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Beautiful, sexy and devastating, absolutely brilliant ending.

9001702

Beautiful, sexy and devastating

I think I’d be fairly hard-pressed to come up with a better list of qualities that Adagio stories should strive to be than that one :raritystarry:

I wish I could take all the credit for the ending, because I love it, but I don’t think it would’ve been half as good without the input that forbloodysummer and Phaoray had, so I probably shouldn’t :twilightsheepish:

Thanks for reading! I’m quite glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

Icy Shake #22 · Sunday · · ·

This was an excellent story, and definitely earned the Tragedy tag. All the pieces are there for things to work out fine if somebody just acts a little bit differently, and at so many different points in the story. But they wouldn't--sometimes perhaps even couldn't--could they? And it just hurts, both the anxiety running straight through and each new jab as it comes.

There does seem to be a bit of an unstated additional element to Adagio, in that besides never having learned to read people she's never thought in any depth about their emotions, relationships, or how they fit together. But that's something you come to realize over the course of the story, and something perhaps she wasn't fully aware of herself, where she was focusing more intently on the primary, immediate sensing than her weakness in collating that with deeper, longer term, and more complex aspects of people.

9047960
This is the kind of comment I love the most :raritystarry:

I think you’re right; there’re multiple places where at least one person could have stopped it all from going so wrong, and it often wouldn’t take much to do so. Part of the difficulty in writing this one was working out why everyone had those capabilities but didn’t exercise them, so it makes me happy to hear that it all fit together for you :twilightsmile:

That’s a good point you make! I’m actually not sure I ever thought of that consciously as I was writing this story, so it’s something of a happy accident, but I think it fits really well! Her magic seems to rely on negativity being present in the moment she wants to feed on it, so I think it’s plausible that she wouldn’t have ever needed to think much about the long-term ramifications of the morsels she fed on. But, when she’s got a flawless real-time analysis of how people feel, yeah, she probably is pretty terrible at thinking about the more deeply-rooted, enduring feelings people may have.

Thanks for reading and especially for commenting! :pinkiehappy:

I'm not sure I can add much here, but I will be keeping an eye out if any continuation happens, I'd love to see where this could go.

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