• Member Since 5th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen 7 minutes ago

NaiadSagaIotaOar


do not throw souls

E

Two worlds in many ways as different from each other as possible, and yet they share a sky. Late one night, Adagio turns to that familiar sky to calm her nerves and to reminisce. Along the way, she has a chance encounter with a hated rival with similar ideas.

Inspired by a brief line back in season 1 and a handful of deductions that may or may not be completely invalid. But it's all magical anyway, so why not?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

This was thoughtful and kind of sweet, toward the end. Adagio (and presumeably the others) has a carefully-guarded soft side she isn't willing to show easily and even kind of wants to play along with Sunset, and with the way we know the Battle ends, she might actually be willing to give it a chance after. Provided Sunset doesn't forget the whole conversation in favor of her newfound Hero status.

7493198 Thanks! I don't think this story is very much compared to some of the things you've written, but I'm glad you approve! :pinkiehappy:

7493991 I've always been rather fond of that portrayal of them, and of villains in general. I just hope my efforts did those wonderful characters at least some small amount of justice.

Anyway, glad you liked it!

This was an interesting balance of the friend/enemy dynamic, I enjoyed reading it.

It works as a one-shot, but it would be interesting to see a similar conversation post-battle, to see how things have changed.

7497139 I actually originally wrote this assuming it would be a post-battle thing, but then I decided that it might be more interesting to write Adagio when she still has her magic.

Anyway, I do intend on eventually writing something that takes place after the battle, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

This work due to it's timing is intriguing. took me a moment to figure out exactly where it was placed, but once i did, i got into it more. oh the Sirens always drag me to something, and i definitely enjoyed this interpretation of Adagio and Sunset.

it was a situation in which they had put so much forward, the Sirens at this point had to harden what emotions they had and go forward. it was a desperate move they already where to far into. another way to take their perspective of the situation.

There's a bittersweet feeling to this- they're not so different, Sunset and Adagio. I wish they could have worked out as well.

7518011 Especially since said similarity was pointed out in the movie itself, it always bugged me that they didn't interact more.

Anyway, glad you liked it! :heart:

Nice story high lighting the similarities and differences between Adagio and Sunset. Both also struck me as people who want to return home, but know that they do not have a home to come back to.

Well, this sure was a pleasant read, especially with my (not really) newfound love for sad stuff :pinkiesad2:

Cheers go as well for view on sirens - it always seemed most logical background to me, seeing as there's almost no backstory about them, only that they're supposed to be evil, basically. Even if you assume they really were, tho, given the Nyears between their banishment and the moment we exactly see in show, a lot could've happened, really. Oh well...

Also, it may just use some polishing, but hey, it's good as it is, and as the saying goes, "Perfection is an enemy of good":twilightsheepish:

Great story overall, kudos you :trixieshiftright:

7569643 Many thanks! This one in particular I don't remember fussing over nearly as much as my other one, so I'm not surprised it could have been a bit more polished. I'm really glad you enjoyed, but if you don't mind me asking, were there any specific areas you think it could have been improved?

7569654 Try as I might, I still couldn't find anything of significance :unsuresweetie:

it sure is nitpicking (as it is mostly, if not all of it, just a formatting and a use of words), and probably is pretty much subjective, but... well, here goes

There's that one thing about Tab and Enter - it's usually considered best to choose either one of them, not both, but that's not really important(doesn't affect reading experience even remotely as much as the lack of either).

the slight, slight satisfaction

This in particular just doesn't ring right to me. While using a word repeatedly might be an art in itself sometimes, it just doesn't fit with the word used.

accessible regions of the wilderness.

This may be personal, but when someone is using word "region" I usually think about a big part of land, not a part of some local elevation or some similar thing.

I wouldn't say you use "perfect" too much in general, three out of four times this word appears in the story, it's in three consecutive paragraphs, and in all three it was used to describe the same thing, all whilst it can be substituted without much effort(with a words like "beautiful", "flawless", and such)

stone, she questioned how desperate she must have been.

This sentence can use some "though" after "stone" :trollestia: (yes, I do love this word very much, I even got it right on first try this time)

She turned her eye to her past and she remembered.

It may have been the idea(which I doubt, because this obviously is not the first time she's stargazing, and moreso, there is no reason for her memory to be askew), but it sounds to me here like she never did.

she could almost smell the sea breeze, almost feel the waves gently lapping at her tail.

It may sound better if you switch that second "almost" for the "even" in the end of the sentence.

If only in her mind and if only for a few

"just" instead of second "if only" prevent from repetition and actually just feels more in place there.

Sunset’s flitted back and forth before settling back on Adagio.

Was there supposed to be word "eyes"? I'm confused :derpyderp2:

“So what are you doing here, then?”

It feels to me like a nonchalant question from the context, but "then" just makes it feel like she's trying to fish out an information out of her opponent. On second thought... that might be just what she's doing, lol. Okay, I actually am now thoroughly confused if this is intended or not.

Adagio turned to the stars

"her gaze" probably will fit in nicely there, since I don't see her having to turn all her body.

but she couldn't help but shake the suspicion that Sunset had known she would be there.

You show us that she's bothered by Sunset being there, yet this sentence clearly indicates she is not as far as I'm aware(if I'm right and it's wrong indeed, changing "shake" to "have" might just solve the problem).

Adagio tiled her head

tilted.

a slight, slight pang

Again :derpyderp2:

it would be simply remain silent

"so simple" maybe?

"If their opinions are so important, then let them be heard."

This phrase actually seems a whole lot off. I mean, Adagio not even once told that it mattered to her, instead she was just gushing about how good it is in her opinion for others, and that it wouldn't even matter if she asked, neither from logical side(why would they say "no" while they're mind controlled?), nor in her personal opinion(I mean, "Perhaps, if they’re nice enough and I’m in a good mood." this sentence clearly indicates that she doesn't care. Whilst her being in a good mood might be valid, the "if they're nice" part is not even a moot point, since, you know, mind control). Correct me if I'm wrong.

Well, that's it, I guess? #IShipIt

I'm still feeling sorry... oh well, gonna just sleep it off

7569867 Wow. Looking back at some of the things you pointed out, I am astounded that I actually posted this the way it was. I definitely should have gone over it a couple more times.

And yes, some of those points are nitpicky, but I'll think about some of the comments you made. It's been a few weeks since I posted this story, so it probably won't make much of a difference, but my latent perfectionist is facepalming at my mistakes and thanking you with all her heart for pointing them out to me.

Thanks!
:heart:

Wow... that was... amazing.
I've never thought that much about the similarities between Adagio and Sunset before because when they were in the same story, they were on opposite sides... Wow. Just... wow.
I'm going to give you a Holy Muffin. It's an award I give to stories that are just... amazing and unparalleled on this site.
I should've read this sooner, sheesh...
Yours,
~Spirit

7576510 I... but...

The Secret Life of Rarity... A Puppet to Her Fame... and then... this?! Me?!

:raritycry::raritycry:

Those are happy tears, if you're wondering. I've read several of the other stories on your list and I am legitimately blown away that you throw my work in there along with them, especially when there are so many other good Dazzlings stories out there. I hope the other things I've got in store don't disappoint.

Seriously, this is, like, a million times better than what I got for my birthday this year and I am not nearly eloquent enough to properly express how I feel about this. I am so glad you waited until late at night to do this, because I think I'd be so ridiculously ebullient that I would spend the entire day goofing off if I woke up to something like this.

You, my friend, have made one person extremely happy tonight. :heart:

I'm going to end on that note before I start babbling like an idiot.

7576550
I know quality when I see it.
You don't have to be famous to be amazing.
:twilightsmile: I'm glad I've made you this happy.

7569867

"If their opinions are so important, then let them be heard."

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you on this, but you did make a valid point here, so I do want to clarify what that bit really meant. One of the points Adagio was making was that it felt so good to be under her spell that some of the students might not want to set free, even if it was a choice they could make freely. So if Adagio just snapped her fingers and ended her spell, then asked all the students if some of them wanted her to sing to them again, some of them would say yes. Sunset was contesting that argument by pointing out that Adagio never once gave any of them that choice. The "If they're nice enough" line was Adagio being flippant and sarcastic, as she had no intention whatsoever of setting anyone free. I hope that explanation makes it a little clearer.

I would be lying if I didn't say I was surprised by their background(since the movie didn't really offer much) but it makes sense. As for the characters themselves, I like it. It's not often I find something like this but when I do, it's a good sign. Like:heart:

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