No! Hey! Shut up! It’s Spike time!
Spike climbed onto the stool recently abandoned by Starlight Glimmer and pushed away the seemingly full white teacup with the pink heart on it full of milky-brown tea. Normally he’d savor things like a pony butt-warmed seat or free tea, but he had a dilemma on his claws.
Spike had invited two of his friends over to Ponyville on the same day. Friends that might not get along and could potentially start a world-ending war, thus temporarily turning his life into some sort of sitcom where the character somehow schedules dates with two separate individuals and has to be in two places at once but since that was impossible they have to run around and… No, wait… Magic… Spike thought. Magic could have solved this problem… I mean, okay. Knowing both Twilight and ESPECIALLY Starlight, that would blow up in my face at some point, but somepony should have at least suggested it…
“First of all…” King Thorax began as he raised a bright green forehoof to point to himself.
Or like… maybe a spell so Thorax and Ember can’t see or hear each other? I mean, just for a few hours… Huh… Wonder if Starlight’s ban on mind-altering spells is still in effect.
Thorax continued, placing his forehooves together under his chin, “…I want to say thank you for having me over.”
Right… Friendship time, Spike thought. Get it together, Spike. Ask about Spike copies or clones or some potentially amoral Starlight solution later.
“I’m in a bit of a leadership pickle,” Thorax said as he averted his opaque violet eyes and rubbed the back of his head, “and I can use some advice.”
“Well, I definitely want to help you out as quickly as possible!” Spike said as he nervously looked from side to side.
“Here’s my problem,” Thorax began as his forehoof clicked in front of Spike, “There’s this renegade group of changelings who still feed off love. Even though I said, ‘Hey let's not do that anymore,’ they say, ‘Hey, this is how we've been doing things for hundreds of years—’”
Though he had initially begun to sweat anxiously, Spike suddenly had an epiphany. A few, in fact, though first and foremost was that suddenly his problem seemed very silly and small in the grand scheme of things. ”Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Spike exclaimed as he waved a claw about signaling Thorax to stop talking. “There’s changelings that still feed off love?! Like… whose love?”
“Uh… You know… the usual… Ponies. Random sapients they come across. Er… Now they’ve found they can siphon love from changed changelings… Uh… as ridiculous as that sentence sounds.”
“Dude, we can figure out a better term for the changelings stuck on one side of the color wheel later! This isn’t just ‘leadership pickle’! It’s like… I don’t know… some sort of leadership zucchini that’s still been drenched in vinegar and salt. I mean… Are these changelings running around just stealing love, or what?”
“Well, sometimes…” Thorax said with a shrug. “Sometimes they cocoon their victims.” Thorax chuckled. “I guess old habits die hard.”
Spike’s jaw dropped. “Thorax! This is kinda a big deal! You should have told someone!”
“But I did… You… Just now.”
Spike let out a massive sigh. “I mean like, Sooner? Maybe? As soon as the kidnapping became a thing at least?”
Thorax seemed to wilt slightly. “Sorry, Spike. I guess you’re still the friend I trust the most.”
A guilty expression flashed across Spike’s face. “… I accidentally invited you and Dragon Lord Ember over to Ponyville on the same day.”
“Oh… Uh…” Thorax blinked his eyes a few times as he mentally searched for a proper reaction. “No biggie,” Thorax replied. His eyes narrowed slightly. “Wait… is that why you keep running off?!”
Spike threw his claws in the air. “Yes! Sorry! Some of your subjects are kidnapping ponies and others to feed off their love!” Spike took a deep breath. “I think maybe that’s more important.”
“Well… if you say so.”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “Okay… I’m going to let that go on account of how new to being a ruler you are. But just a heads up, your subjects kidnapping ponies and others to feed on their love is like something some might think is worth going to war over.”
“War?! Really? It’s just a few missing ponies! I mean… Okay, while not good maybe we should look at the possibility that both sides are at fault.”
Spike looked at Thorax is complete disbelief. "You think that the ponies who have been kidnapped and cocooned might also be at fault?!"
"... Okay... yeah... It does sound pretty stupid when you put it like that,” Thorax admitted.
Spike grimaced slightly before his cheeks puffed out and he raised a claw to his mouth.
“Uh, are you okay?”
Spike swallowed and took in another deep breath. “No… That thing you said earlier just made me throw up in my mouth a little. I mean… It’s lucky I mostly eat a diet of solid gems, but—” Spike clambered onto the table and grabbed Thorax’s horns to pull his face closer, looking him straight in the eyes. “—we have to FIX this! I mean… You remember how ponies and changelings have fought before on account of the numerous times Changelings captured and cocooned ponies to siphon their love and how ponies fought the Changelings to free them!” Spike narrowed his eyes slightly. “Or is that something else both sides were at fault for?”
“Hey! I admitted it sounded stupid, alright! This is a pretty big deal. Uh…” Thorax gave Spike a sheepish grin. “Can I have my head back, please?” Thorax asked kindly.
“Yeah, sure…” Spike said as he let go of Thorax’s horns.
“Thanks,” Thorax said. “Alright, so we need to fix this, but that’s why I’m here! I need advice and help! I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas!”
Spike rubbed his chin for a moment. “I think I know someone who can help.”
“… Starlight?”
“Uh… Sure? But she’s not…”
“Discord!” Thorax said with a smile on his face.
“Er, there’s like a fifty-fifty chance he might make things worse…”
“Trixie!”
“Stop guessing and just follow me!” Spike said in an irritable tone. He quickly picked up the tea Starlight left, drank it down, and jumped off the table. He motioned for Thorax to follow him.
Thorax tilted his head slightly. “Er… You know Starlight took a few sips from that, right?”
“I eat gems I find in the ground!” Spike pointed out. “So what do I care? Plus, free tea.” Spike looked around as he and Thorax walked towards Twilight’s castle. “We need to find—”
A spray of magenta flame suddenly shot into the air elsewhere in Ponyville causing Spike and Thorax to turn and pause.
“Okay, never mind!” Spike said as he walked in the direction the flame had shot out from. “She’s over here.”
“… Twilight?”
Spike's face tightened. “No… I mean… Probably, but… WOULD YOU JUST COME WITH ME, PLEASE?!”
Spike and Thorax started their quick jaunt across Ponyville and quickly came across a couple of horned ponies having a discussion with a female light blue dragon who stood about a head taller than a pony. “Great!” Spike said. “Wait here a sec, Thorax,” Spike requested as he walked up to the trio.
Ember leveled an index claw at Twilight and Starlight. “I'm just saying you're both purple ponies with purple hair. You both have cutie marks with sparkly things.”
Starlight let out a slightly incredulous chuckle. “Mine's more of a glimmer. Heh.”
“How is that different?” Ember demanded. “Oh, good. Spike.” Ember said as Spike approached. “Can you please tell these two I'm right? They look very similar.”
Spike frowned. “Uh, Ember? That’s, uh, kinda speciesist.”
Twilight’s face flushed slightly. “Yeah… A little bit…”
“Thank you!” Starlight exclaimed.
“On the other claw,” Spike continued, “there’s a reason we sometimes call Starlight ‘Twilight-lite.’”
“What?!” Starlight and Twilight exclaimed in unison.
Ember put on a smug smile. “You can also call her ‘Diet Twilight’.”
“Naw,” Spike said, “we only call her that when Twilight really goes ‘whole hog’ at breakfast.”
Twilight began to grit her teeth.
“Okay, still a little mad,” Starlight said, “but that is pretty funny.”
“Okay, real problem time!” Spike said.
“Uh, Spike?” Ember said.
Spike sighed. “Look… Just check the backs for wings, okay! If it’s horned, purple, and can take flight, it’s Twilight. If it’s horned, purple, and flying a kite, it’s Starlight.”
“No, that’s…” Ember scratched her chin a couple times then smiled. “Yeah, okay, I can remember that. But, uh, what’s that ugly green thing behind you?”
Starlight and Twilight let out twin alarmed gasps.
Spike groaned as he pointed behind him. “That’s Thorax. King of the Changelings!”
“Oh…” Ember said. She cupped her claws around her mouth and shouted, “Hey, King Thorax!”
“Uh, hey!” Thorax called back timidly as he waved a green foreleg about. “Uh… Dragon Lord Ember, was it?”
“Yeah!” Ember said. “Just wanted you to know, you’re kind of an eyesore.”
Twilight took in a sharp breath. “Welp… That was a nice country we had once…”
Thorax just let out a long, sad sigh in response to Ember’s declaration. “Yeah… I know…” he admitted.
“Okay,” Ember said with a nod. “But you’re like… A Changeling, right? I mean… you can look like anything you want! Why’d you pick that?!”
Thorax began trotting closer, his expression seemingly becoming less and less amused with every step. “Hey! This is apparently the form changelings take when we internalize the love of friendship instead of feeding off it!”
Ember seemed to chew on this statement for a moment. “Okay, yeah… I can see it.”
Twilight and Starlight let out twin sighs of relief.
“I mean… that sounds pretty lame, so it makes sense your form matches that.”
Thorax turned and narrowed his eyes at Spike. “So, she’s going to help with my problem?”
“Look, I know Ember can be blunt,” Spike said, “She’s a dragon! Most dragons are the personification of ‘blunt’, but that’s what—”
“It just hurts my eyes to look at him,” Ember said. ”I’m just being honest. Isn’t that a friendship thing to do?”
“Well, it can be,” Twilight said in a tone so cautious it was actively looking at the ground to avoid any landmines. “However, you have to be careful with a truth that unnecessarily hurts the feelings of—”
Spike let out a loud groan. “Everypony shut up!” he cried. “Hey, everypony! Shut up!”
Twilight frowned. “But friendsh—”
“No! Hey! Shut up!” Spike folded his arms across his chest. “It’s Spike time,” he declared.
Everyone stood in silence for a moment.
“Okay,” Spike said. He motioned to Thorax. “Thorax has a real problem.”
“What?!” Ember replied indignantly. “So, my friendship problems don’t count?!”
“Compared to Thorax’s problem? No, they really don’t,” Spike answered.
“Spike, you’re being insensitive!” Twilight declared.
Starlight nodded. “Also, weren’t we trying to keep these two apart because we thought they might not get along…? Take right now for instance!”
“What?!” Ember cried. “What’s the big deal!” She turned her burning orange eyes on Spike as if she was trying to set him ablaze with her glare. “You thought he wouldn’t like me just because I’m a dragon and I’m bad at friendship?”
Spike let out a defeated sigh and buried his face in his claws.
“Yeah, I’m not happy about it either,” Thorax admitted. “To be fair though, you do seem bad at friendship and I don’t think I like you!”
“No one asked you, you slime green eye-assault!” Ember snapped as she marched up to Thorax.
“Hey, now!” Twilight interrupted as her horn glowed magenta and a similar glow surrounded the feuding dragon and changeling. “I’m sure we can sort this out before things get too ugly,” she said as she gently moved Thorax and Ember away to add back ‘personal space’ to what they had just momentarily lost.
“You mean, like Thorax’s stupid face?” Ember exclaimed, folding her arms across her chest.
Thorax narrowed his eyes and in an electric blue flame that started at his legs and went up to his horns. The flame’s left leaving a perfect copy of Ember. “Hi, I’m Ember!” Thorax said, perfectly mimicking Ember’s voice except for the clearly intentional increase in pitch. He tilted his head exaggeratedly flipped his new head fins. “I can’t figure out my friendship problem because I’m too busy being a jerk to literally everypony! I’m sure those two things don’t have anything to do with each other!”
Ember grit her teeth. “Okay, but if you can just look like a dragon, why don’t you just walk around looking like a dragon?!”
“Oh hey, great idea!” ‘Ember’ said with a sarcastic smile. “I’ll get right on setting fire to people’s properties and kicking babies!”
Ember rolled her eyes. “We don’t only kick babies!”
Starlight rubbed the backside of a forefoot under her chin. “You know… a quick mirror spell or even a simple glamor could have avoided all this… I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.”
“Really?! That’s your solution here?” Twilight exclaimed as she turned to give Starlight a chastising look.
“Well… it would have been,” Starlight said.
Twilight groaned in disapproval. “I know magic is useful, but we all just need to calm down and talk out our—”
“Everypony shut the buck up about this stupid friendship problem!” Spike exclaimed, clenching his claws into fist at his side and shouting at the sky.
Thorax’s eyes went wide and with another electric blue flame, he reverted to his pastel green, yellow, and kinda purple… glory.
Twilight and Starlight both let out gasps.
“Spike, what has gotten into you today?!” Twilight exclaimed.
Starlight nodded. “Yeah… I know this situation is stressful, but you’re really piling on the yelling at everypony!”
“THAT DOESN’T MATTER!” Spike roared. “I’M TRYING TO MOVE THINGS ALONG HERE!”
Ember just gave a satisfactory nod. “Now that’s how you dragon.” She turned towards Twilight and Starlight. “Also, you still both act the same, too! How’s anybody supposed to tell the difference between you two?!”
“I can tell just fine,” Thorax declared.
Ember rolled her eyes as she once again marched up to Thorax. “Well sure, you probably spend all day telling different ugly shades of pastel colors apart!”
“Whoa! Whoa!” Twilight said as she placed herself in between Thorax and Ember and used her forelegs to separate them this time. “You two, this is a great opportunity to work on a friendsh—”
Spike smacked a claw against his face. “Ember, punch Twilight.”
“Okay!” Ember said enthusiastically as she turned and jabbed Starlight in the face, knocking the unexpecting unicorn to the ground.
“Ow! What the heck?!” Starlight exclaimed as she pulled her forelegs up to her muzzle.
“Hey, I didn’t know why either!” Ember said with a shrug. “But it sounded like a good request to me!”
Spike let out a sigh. “That’s Starlight! Remember, the wings rhyme?”
“Oh, yeah…” Ember said with a nod.
Twilight sighed. “Okay, hitting someone is really not something you should—”
‘POW!’
Twilight found herself cut off by the light blue dragon fist suddenly thrust into the side of her jaw, she teetered once, then fell to the ground, clearly dazed.
Spike nodded. “Better. For the sake of expediency, I’m going to make the stupid, pointless stuff quick. Starlight, Twilight? You’re both purple. You both have horns. You’re both super into magic. You’re both kinda neurotic, though both in your own different ways…”
Twilight and Starlight let out squeals of displeasure as they continued to lay down and hold their injured faces.
“Look!” Spike said as he tossed his claws up. “If you didn’t want this to happen, maybe moving into the same castle wasn’t such a great idea!”
Ember snickered.
“You!” Spike said as he wheeled on Ember. “You’re being kinda a mega douche right now with attacking how Thorax looks and not being able to tell ponies apart! I know you have your dragon ways, but could you please tone it down a notch or three?”
Ember sighed. “Okay… I can try.”
“NO!” Spike exclaimed. “Don’t try! Do or do not! There is no try!”
“Er, okay, Spike.”
Thorax frowned. “But that doesn't make sense…”
“What?” Ember replied. “Sure, it does. You either do something or you mess it up! Kind of like your whole general look you have—”
“Embeeeer…” Spike growled in a warning tone.
“Kind of like we’re all messing up by not letting Spike talk!” Ember corrected.
“Better,” Spike said with a nod. “And Thorax?”
“Uh, yes Spike?”
“Ember’s right. I know it’s supposed to be the”— Spike air quoted with his claws –“‘True Changeling Form of Friendship’ or whatever, but like… you kinda look like a buncha foals went crazy with water colors, but their parents cheaped out and only gave them a handful of colors to paint with? Normally I’d tell somepony to try to be happy with how they look, but you can change that at a whim! So, maybe try workshopping the look with other changelings?”
Thorax visibly winced. “Er, ouch… But, okay Spike. I’ll consider it.”
Spike nodded. “And me,” he began, letting out a large sigh, “I accidentally asked you both here on the same day. I’m sorry I screwed up.”
Starlight chuckled from the ground. “You’d think all that hanging around Twilight, you’d have remembered how calendars work…”
“I know, I know!” Spike lamented. “Also, I’m even sorrier I tried to keep you two apart instead of trusting you could work out whatever differences you had, or at least… I guess I could have trusted all us friendship experts could have worked it out?”
Thorax thought for a moment then chuckled. “Okay, apology accepted. But what did you think was going to happen? Like… I’d turn into a giant bear and attack Ember?”
“Uh, the thought had crossed my mind,” Spike said as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.
“Okay, but that’s my point,” Ember said, motioning to Thorax. “I mean… if you can transform into a giant bear, why don’t you just walk around as a giant bear?!”
Spike let out a sad sigh.
“Also, apology accepted,” Ember added with a smile. “I know I can be a bit of a hot head at times,” she added with a grin.
“Heh…” Thorax chuckled. “Hot head… I get it.”
Ember smiled and pointed a finger gun at Thorax.
Spike’s horns began to glow green in a sequence, almost as if they were signally an aircraft for a landing. He tossed a glance up at his fins and immediately looked back down at the others present.
“Spike! Your, uh, Spikes!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly. “You must have solved—“
“No one cares, Twilight!” Spike retorted curtly. “We still have a real problem on our hooves and claws!”
Twilight frowned. “Well… What can be worse than a friendship problem?”
“Glad you asked!” Spike replied with an exaggerated index finger he pointed at Twilight. “Thorax told me there’s a group of changelings out there still kidnapping ponies and other creatures to eat their love.”
“What?!” Starlight and Twilight exclaimed as they quickly got back to their hooves.
“Ghah! I can’t tell them apart again!”
“Focus, Ember!” Spike implored.
Ember nodded. “Right! Game face on!” Ember began to quietly mumble a mantra of sorts to herself, “If it’s horned, purple, and can take flight, it’s Twilight. If it’s horned, purple, and flying a kite, it’s Starlight. If it’s horned, purple, and can take flight, it’s Twilight. If it’s horned, purple, and flying a kite, it’s Starlight...”
“Spike! This is a serious problem!” Twilight cried.
“Oh my Celestia, I know!” Spike bellowed.
“You should have said something sooner!” Twilight exclaimed.
Spike’s head began to quake in anger. “Ember! Hit Twilight again! Remember the rhyme!”
“Oh, right!” Ember said as she patted both ponies on the back.
Twilight frowned. “Hey, wai—”
‘THUD!’
“Ghah!” Twilight exclaimed as she fell to the ground once more.
“So… This is what you wanted my help with?” Ember asked.
Spike nodded. “Yep. Er… The Changeling problem… Not punching Twilight.”
“But she’s so good at it!” Thorax insisted.
Starlight rubbed her pained nose. “Ain’t that the truth…”
Ember rubbed a fist against her chest as she smiled proudly before she turned back towards Spike. “… Okay but… I mean, with changelings kidnapping pretty much anything, you know my suggestion would be gratuitous dragon violence, right?”
Spike nodded. “Yep. As long as we rescue anyone in danger, that’s fine.”
“What?!” Twilight exclaimed. “That seems a tad extreme! I’m sure we can—”
Starlight thrust her forehoof into the air. “I agree! Violence is the answer!”
“Yeah!” Ember exclaimed. “Way to go…” trailing off, she patted Starlight’s back briefly, “Starlight!”
Starlight sighed. “You just punched Twilight like 10 seconds ago!”
“Give me a break!” Ember exclaimed as she tossed her claws into the air. “At least I’m learning!” She frowned and looked at Spike. “That’s totally a friendship thing, right?”
“Uh…” Spike trailed off as everyone present turned to look at Twilight.
Twilight let out a sign. “Okay, yeah… sure…” She frowned heavily. “But has anyone asked what Thorax thinks?”
“Uh, Twilight?” Thorax began. He pointed to himself with a foreleg. “I’m right here, so you can just ask me what I think.”
Twilight’s face scrunched up in annoyance. “Okay, King Thorax… What do you think about this plan to have dragons beat up these changelings who are also your subjects?”
Thorax thought for a moment. “Well… At first I was hoping we could maybe talk it out with them… Forcing my decree on them with violence seems kind of the old changeling way…”
“See!” Twilight exclaimed as she got back on her hooves.
Thorax continued, “However, their whole deal is basically that ‘eating love’ is how things have been for centuries.” Thorax smiled. “You know what? I think beating them up sounds like a good compromise!”
“Compromise!” Ember exclaimed. She pointed at Spike. “That’s totally a friendship thing, right?!”
“Totally!” Spike agreed. “Right, Twilight?” He asked as he turned to the purple alicorn, who had the look of somepony who was rapidly losing the will to argue and also not go home and sleep or drink the rest of the day away.
Twilight seemed to think for a moment. “I’ll agree on one condition… Everyone tells me what they learned today.”
A collection of groans met Twilight’s request.
“Oh, come on!” Twilight exclaimed. “It’s not a true friendship lesson until we talk about what we learned!”
Ember let out a sigh. “Is this really a part of pony friendship?”
“… Yeah…” Starlight and Spike uttered in a slightly annoyed tone.
Ember frowned heavily. “Okay… but like… What do I say…?”
“I got this,” Spike said taking a step forward. “I learned that summarizing what we learned wastes time we could be using to kick renegade changeling ass!”
“YEAH!” Ember cheered triumphantly as she and Spike shared a high five.
Twilight’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “You know what? Forget it… I’m just going to go home and fix my walls…”
“Okay, wait uh...” Ember trailed off and patted Starlight’s back for a moment, much to Starlight’s annoyance. “... Twilight!” Ember exclaimed, clearly proud of herself. “I learned sometimes violence is a reasonable solution!”
“... Leaving is increasingly sounding like the best option…” Twilight added dryly.
“Dangit!” Starlight exclaimed.
Twilight smiled at Starlight slightly.
“What?” Ember asked.
“You took mine!” Starlight said with an accusatory foreleg.
The boat of Twilight’s smile quickly took on annoyed waters and sand into an ocean of irritation.
“Well, too bad!” replied Ember. “Come up with your own stupid friendship answer!”
Starlight grunted in displeasure. “Er… Okay… I learned… uh… species insensitivity can be countered with rhymes, apparently.”
“Oh, that’s good!” Ember exclaimed pointing at Starlight.
“Is it, though?” Starlight uttered as her eyebrows knit in aggravation.
Thorax smiled widely. “I learned that friendship and help can come from the most unexpected places and that it’s important to keep an open mind!”
Spike smiled at Twilight and motioned to Thorax. “Eh? Eh?”
Twilight blew a gust of air past her lips that caused them to flap up and down. “Okay, yeah… That was a pretty good one,” Twilight admitted.
“Oh!” Thorax said. “And sometimes keeping an open mind means being open to fixing your problems through threats and hitting things!”
“Aaaaand, it’s gone…” Twilight lamented.
Spike spoke up. “I learned it’s important to overlook the small things in favor of something that really brings us together!”
Twilight groaned. “And that’s what? Mutual anger against a specific group?”
Spike threw his claws into the air. “They kidnapped ponies and whatever else they can catch and are holding them in some sort of cocoon for nourishment, Twilight! What else do they need to do before you’re not such a grump about this?!”
“Okay, I see your point…” Twilight said as she rubbed the latest spot Ember’s claw-fist hit. “I … Ugh… I learned dragons can hit HARD...” Twilight frowned heavily. “Apparently that’s about it. Okay, friendship lesson over. Let’s just gather some dragons and beat up those changelings…”
“Hurray! Everypony’s a winner!” Spike declared. “Except those kidnapping, cocooning changelings! Just… buck them in general!”
“Hurray, friendship!” Ember cried.
“Hurray, problem solving!” Thorax added.
“Hurray, violence!” Starlight chimed in.
The two dragons, unicorn, and changeling, began walking off, eagerly discussing the next course of action.
Twilight lingered for a moment and watched the group walk away. After they were a few houses down, she smiled to herself. “Hurray, interspecies diplomatic relationships…” she uttered.
“Hey, Twilight!” Ember called out turning.
“Oh, nice!” Starlight said. “You did that without having to pet me…”
Ember continued, “You gonna help us kick flank, or what?”
“Coming!” Twilight called out with an eye roll as she took flight.
-oo~Later~00-
Twilight cackled maniacally as she hovered in the air and let loose magic blast after magic blast from her horn, causing a handful of black changelings to scream as they ran one way and the next, seemingly finding no escape from the bombardment the Princess of Friendship delivered upon them.
A generous amount of large and fearsome looking dragons encircled the changelings, doing little more than scaring the skittering and buzzing black bug-like creatures here and there, unable to escape Twilight’s wrath and unwilling to deal with the danger the dragons represented.
A little ways off near a cave mouth, Spike, Ember, Starlight, and Thorax watched with a look of detached amusement, a group of slime-covered ponies and a couple griffins behind them. In fact, Starlight and Spike were so engrossed in watching Twilight let loose that both were now lounging on chairs and grasping grips of popcorn from the same white-and-red striped bucket. Still, green, yellow, and baby-blue changelings buzzed about the rescued ponies and griffins, trying to comfort those ichor-covered individuals as well as assure them that not all changelings were like the ones currently screaming and running about. But the four arrivals from Ponyville paid that no mind and simply watched Twilight as her laughter climbed higher and higher into the sky.
One of the black changelings made mad flying dash away, flying past a large red and blue dragon that found themselves unable to keep up. He let out a sigh of relief that soon turned to a gasp of dread as a Twilight appeared in front of him with a magenta flash. Letting out a cry of despair, this hapless changeling suddenly descended as he kept his eyes firmly on Twilight. “No! Stop! I’m sorry! Okay! I’m sorry!”
Twilight suddenly landed, as she regarded the changeling with cold, indifferent eyes.
The changeling swallowed. “I-I’ll change my ways! I’ll even change into that horrible color scheme! Please! Anything!”
“You promise you won’t hurt another pony or anything else again?” Twilight asked.
“YES!” the changeling sobbed out. “I swear it! I swear it to CelestiaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” he cried as he was suddenly engulfed in a magenta glow and thrown straight up into the air at considerable speed.
“SWEAR TO ME!” Twilight demanded.
Thorax leaned over to Spike. “Uh… Does Twilight know she can stop? I mean… we saved everypony a while ago and I’m pretty sure those changelings get the message.”
Ember waved a dismissive claw. “Eh, let the girl have her fun. I’m guessing she doesn’t get to cut loose often enough.”
Starlight let out a chuckle. “Ain’t that the truth.”
“But…” Thorax pursed his lips slightly. “I mean… er… Well… this doesn’t seem like a very friendship thing to do…”
Spike swallowed the popcorn in his mouth and shrugged. "Let her have this. She’s been under an awful lot of stress today.”
Starlight turned, smirking at Spike. “Weren’t you the one that got worked up over inviting Ember and Thorax to Ponyville on the same day?”
Spike chuckled. “Yeah, but unlike some ponies, I don’t keep my emotions bottled up!”
Starlight pursed her lips into a tight frown then thought a moment. “Point taken.”
The End.
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Remember kids, when diplomacy fails, violence is always an option.
Dragons. Whether they're smart or as dense as the rocks they smash indiscriminately, we should all agree on one thing:
They're good at getting fired up.
...oh, and also giving sick burns.
... Well... that was... a thing... ish...
I imagine Twilight uses her magic later to slam Spike into a wall.
Repeatedly.
...is it odd of me to say this would have been a much more fun end to the episode?
...So, when can you start imposing your will into animation to make these alternative episodes available to the rest of us? Because THIS is what should have happened!
8382523
Except for Garble. His burns just fizzle out.
This was great. I love this Ember.
I'm not gonna lie
I was haveing the worst day today and then I read this and it cheered me right up :3
You know if Spike wasn't handed the idiot ball this episode, or if MLP somehow had a TV14 rating, this is more than likely how this would go.
Thanks for the laughs I needed them.
That was an interesting read.
“Uh, Ember? That’s, uh, kinda speciesist.”
Thank you!
“Just wanted you to know, you’re kind of an eyesore.”
Agreed.
*sniff sniff*
I smell a Spike story. Where there's Spike, I'm soon to follow. So, considering the undisputable facts of fimiction, here I am.
This. Right here. This should have been the episode.
If MLP had a teen rating, I'm pretty sure this is what the episode would've been.
Good stuff, have a thumbs up.
Just a reminder that there is a line where diplomacy ends and ass kicking begins.
8382621
Yeah...who else thinks the changelings should've retained their sleek black looks?
I don't know why 'internalising love' or whatever causes them to change shape and colour so drastically (some don't even have horns or wings anymore), but whatever it is, it's lame.
Amazing, psychotic work as always.
8382548
You want Spike to have Twilight punched in the face again and again with no consequences or apology?
What I Learned Today: A story is a conflict. Preferably violent conflict. Ideally without too much story getting in the way.
8382808
To be fair, Spike has put up with a lot of Twi abuse over the years. A little turn about is fair game.
I like the rhyme
This is pretty good. My favorite part had something to do with violence. Violence is good and better than mushy diplomacy.
You amuse me.
The odds increase if he thinks it can be funny.
ç
You could even say she Twi-lite.
Oh dear.
Starlight is a lighter shade, does have wings and is more openly possible insane.
He's right you know.
Violence is like duct tape. If it didn't fix the problem, you haven't used enough of it.
Fun read!
*Gigglesnorts*
*Screaming intensifies*
I see Spike has been taking lessons from Yoda
8382700 Ass kicking is a continuation of diplomacy through other means. Like ass-kicking.
Sweet, thumbs up. Only thing: it's paid, not payed. Payed is an old naval term for letting out rope, such as might be required to weigh anchor. Paid is the past tense of pay.
8382808
Nope! I want Justice3442 to be able to just WILL cartoons into being!
8382712
Tons of people?
You do realize the color scheme drama has not stopped since the S6 finale last year, right? You do realize your opinion is remarkably popular, right?
8383214
No, and I guess?
I don't really tend to go on forums and stuff (heck, I don't even watch the IRL news), so I tend to not know about popular opinions and stuff until people like you point it out to me, or I pick it up out of osmosis.
I tend to know of opinions toward videogame franchises, because I am subscribed to a few game review channels, but attitudes towards TV shows...? Other than my own, nope.
...Though I'm guessing me saying I'm not interested in Game of Thrones would be quite a rare opinion, considering the number of small mentions I've heard...
8382896
Not like he didn't give back already. But eh, Spike's a sacred cow for a large part of the fandom. Especially here on FimFiction.
8382617
Seriously, at the next convention, someone needs to straight up ask the writers (in a polite way) why they keep handing Spike the Idiot Ball and making him look bad...
Yay! Violence!
8383283
Cause they do it with every character. Spike isn't a special case here.
8383328
I just meant how he seems to hold the Idiot Ball in every episode that centers on him, and if he's not, then someone else is. Why do the writers rely on Idiot Ball so much?
8383344
Well that is a different question! If you ask me, it has to do with the format. Slice-of-life with only a very, very vague chronological order means they need to create a self-contained conflict within every episode. There's no outside conflict to focus on, after all. And the simplest way is to have one or more characters mess up.
8382712
I think it just their color scheme that doesn't work.
8383192
Got this, thanks!
8383242
Yeah, the changeling transformation has caused a lot of opinion friction in the fandom, up there with how bad it got when Twilight first got wings.
Fair enough.
Compared to most people commenting here, the colors don't bother me, and I can appreciate the contrast of black insect vs decorated insect they were going for. Not to mention I love the whole concept of Awkward Thorax the Dadking trying to lead what is essentially a swarm of rebellious, rowdy teenagers.
The Glorious Swagon is taking names, pulling manes, and flirting dames.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/236/841/075.jpg
8383737
amazing comment
that's basically how I feel about the new changeling design
Spike time is best time of the day. So much better than the actual episode. I wish the series had gotten past the "butt-monkey Spike" episode requirement, but guess not. Something like this reads much better (and more funny).
I'm with Lady Ember on this
the new changeling design just looks dumb in my opinion
it goes beyond the realm of childishly colorful like the ponies and dragons are and into the realm of a clown ate to many skittles and puked on a box of Crayola crowns
SWEAR TO ME!
8383959
Because the show can never be as awesome as Justice. That's why ... which is sad.
8384037
stop