She's a Keeper
It didn't take Church long to get back to Blue Base with Maud clinging to his head, even going on foot. Distances just weren't that great in Blood Gulch when you had something to focus on. In Church's case, he was focusing on his balance and the pain from the crushed armor on his arm. The latter made it easy to focus on the former, because the last thing he wanted was to give Maud reason to cling tightly to his helmet.
Maud, for her part, stayed completely silent on the entire journey, the only sign she was even still there the occasional slight shift of weight from her turning her head to carefully examine their surroundings, and sometimes pointing something out about the rocky surroundings. "Caves," she indicated as she pointed to a plain looking part of the canyon walls.
"Really?" Church asked in surprise. "I didn't know there were caves here. Maybe Captain Flowers will approve some exploration."
"Flowers?" Maud asked curiously.
"My CO." Remembering he was talking to someone who didn't know military terminology, he added, "My commanding officer." Feeling Maud's silent confusion, he elaborated. "He's the one in charge at Blue Base. I do what he says."
"Ah," Maud allowed.
"You're...not very talkative, are you?" Church asked curiously.
"No."
"Ah, there you are Private!" Captain Flowers greeted as Church reached the base. "So that's the little pony you mentioned?"
"Yup," Church confirmed. "This is Maud. Maud, this is Captain Flowers."
"Flowers aren't rocks," Maud observed calmly.
"That they aren't!" Captain Flowers praised happily. "Such a smart little lady she is. Now, let's take a look at that ar-my god..."
Captain Flowers carefully examined the armor Church wore. While it looked like the standard armor simulation troopers wore, it was actually reinforced internally to give Church every bit of protection he could be given. He was important, after all, and it would be very bad if anything happened to him. The entire canyon was just here to protect and hide him. Captain Flowers had once worn a suit of armor very much like what Church was wearing now, and he knew just how strong it could be.
And here it was, crumpled like aluminum foil around Church's arm. It was like seeing someone punch a space ship and have the ship dent. Kinda like Texas, Flowers thought to himself. Maybe that's why she found him. He took another look at the filly. The grey, dull coloration... Kinda even looks like Texas as a pony...I think. Never saw her out of the armor...
"Captain?" Church asked worriedly. "Is...is it bad?"
Flowers returned to the moment. Plenty of time to woolgather and plan after he'd gotten things under control in the moment.
"Nothing to worry about, Church!" Captain Flowers offered expansively. "This armor's made to take a beating. It just took more from her than expected. It's a bit much for a repair kit, so I'll requisition a new one from Command...and maybe a suit of armor for the little lady, too."
"So...I have to keep her?" Church asked ruefully.
"That's an order, Private," Captain Flowers offered warmly. "She found her way to you for some reason, so this little lady is your responsibility from now on."
"Dad?" Maud asked, a slight tinge of hope to her voice.
Church gently lifted her off his head. "Yup," he allowed, his voice managing to be warm. "I guess you're my little pony, now."
Some time in the future, Michael J. Caboose pointed at Church and declared, "Ha! He said it!" for no apparent reason.
Back in the present, Captain Flowers was preparing to contact command when another soldier came in, this one in plain blue armor. "What's happening, Captain?" he asked, somehow curious and disinterested at the same time.
"There you are, Private First Class Tucker," Captain Flowers greeted warmly. "It looks like we've got a new resident here at Blue Base. Why don't you get to know her? Maud, this is Uncle Tucker. Tucker, this is Maud, Church's daughter. Have fun all of you."
Tucker looked at Maud for a time. "That's your kid?" he asked Church finally. "Who did you bang to have her? Though if you left her a little hoarse, bow-chika-bow-wow!"
"I just adopted her," Church growled irritably. "And could you please curb your crudity around her? She's a child!"
"And where do you think kids come from? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!" Tucker laughed at the joke no one else found funny. "Seriously Church, take that stick out of your a...fine, your butt. And stick it in a lady's! Bow-chicka-bow-wow!" Church growled in frustration.
Unnoticed to the pair, Maud had dropped lightly to the ground, hopped briefly on all four legs, then lifted up on her hind legs. Her fore-hooves hitting the floor with a cli-clop drew attention. "Three inches," she stated softly.
"Huh?" Tucker asked curiously. "Is that how long Church's 'stick' is? Bow-chicka-"
"That's the current clearance between my maximum jumping uppercut height and your 'stick'," Maud explained carefully. "Think about that."
Tucker blinked in surprise, then laughed dismissively. "Through this armor? Just how much damage do you think your go-"
Maud punched Tucker's ankle, shattering the metal.
"-OW MY GOD!" Tucker yelled out as he fell over, clutching at his ankle as he hit the ground. "Medic!"
"We don't have one of those Tucker!" Flowers offered warmly. "But I'm trained. Just as soon as I finish requisitioning a replacement for Church's arm armor that Maud crushed, I'll see about your ankle."
Church was grinning under his helmet. "Maud, you're going to fit right in..." She kinda reminds me of Tex, he thought to himself. Maybe I should tell her about her...maybe not. Tex probably would not be happy being saddled with the role of 'Mom', and I don't think Maud's that strong...yet...
Once he was sure he had privacy, Captain Flowers opened his comm link. "Captain Flowers to Command, over."
"Command here, this is Vic!" a voice responded almost immediately. "Go ahead, Flower-Power! What can I be doing for you today?"
Captain Flowers smiled softly. The AI controlling the computer network of Blood Gulch - and the liaison between the Gulch and the Freelancer Program - had gotten strange after he tripped over the power cord. Still, he found it much more personable this way. "I need to requisition a replacement part for Private Church's armor. The arm specifically."
"No problemo, dudorino!" VIC replied readily. "What happened, did he get it caught in a pencil sharpener?"
"Nope," Flowers responded. "Crushed by a tiny pony."
VIC let out a stuttering laugh. "You're pulling my leg, Captain! What sort of pony could be there in Blood Gulch? That place is D-E-double-D dead!"
"Check the feed," Flowers pointed out blandly. "You can see it rather easily."
"You mean that isn't an error in the footage?" VIC asked in surprise. "Then again, pretty consistent for an error. Want me to requisition some armor for her, too?"
"...not yet," Flowers allowed softly. "No need to bring this to anyone's attention unless it becomes necessary. I'm sure we can find a way to keep her safe in the meantime. Besides, her needing to be safe in the base gives me an excuse to take Church off patrols without looking like I'm unnecessarily shielding him."
"You're the boss-man, boss-man!" VIC agreed happily. "I'll just mark the damage in the report down as 'unexpected encounter with wildlife'...in that it was unexpected that there was wildlife! Catch you later, muchacho!"
With that done, Captain Flowers grabbed the med-kit and the repair-kit to go fix Tucker's ankle. Hopefully that wouldn't be too common an occurrence.
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I laughed so hard.
Given the above quote and the fact it's never really explored in RVB, are you going to explain how an AI in a mobile power suit can feel pain? or is it just psychosomatic? He thinks he's in pain so he is in pain?
8376941
He still had a physical body from when he was forcibly implanted into Jimmy.
That would include nerve endings and all the fun that comes with them being stimulated
And this, mares and gentlestalions, is why Tatsuro is one of the best crossover writers I have ever seen. He can take two opposite universes and make a masterpiece out of the resulting mess. Also, Grif will apparently not be the only one trying to make sure his balls don't get anihilated by a far stronger female. Of course, with how well that went for him...
I can't wait for Tex to arrive, hopefully she gets along with Maud and takes her as a daughter.... Hmmmm, given Carolina's family situation, what will her reaction to being a big sister be????? And as we all know, PWNY dadies become Papa Wolves after adopting their pony, so hopefully Church is more of a bad ass soon!
Wow, church called it right with the tex comparison. Already going for people's balls!
Oh good, Caboose will be channelling his inner Pinkie this series.
8376977
This is made worse when they're already papa wolves in canon. *see Kratos*
8376952
oh yeah...forgot about that part...been a minute since I've seen the show.
8376977
I don't know...this is church if anything I think Tex would take over as a papa wolf.
Indeed, that would no doubt hurt.
She says what she has to say. Which is little.
Yikes. Really gives you an idea of how powerful Maud is, even as a child.
She does, have a similar color scheme.
Amazing how someone like Flowers can be so nice.
Ah! He-
-beat me to the punch. Clever bastard.
Must you?
Dammit Tucker!
Oh this will be fun.
And that's what you get for making innuendo around a CHILD.
Not if Tucker learns to keep his mouth shut.
8376932
That joke style belongs to Simmons.
8377100
Tell that to Doc/O'Malley and that Fed soldier from S12.
8377107
I recall it used several times in season 15. I unfortunately cannot find the gag on the wiki.
Foreshadowing!(Does this count?)
Caboose isn't even there, yet!
saddled with the role of 'Mom',
and I don't think Maud's that strong...yet...
1. Extra paragraphing.
Guess we better Tucker in for some base side shenanigans here.
8376710 Read it before. Did not enjoy.
Ah! He said it! He said it!
Okay, already done. My mistake
Ah, that Earth Pony strength at work.
You know what I am going to peg Carolina as her mom. Tex is more a dead beat parent right now and that will not be easy to change.
8377043
What little we see of Flowers interacting with the Blue Team has him seem very nice. Quite personable. It's not until we learn that he was the Freelancer Florida that we had any indication that he wasn't nice.
My question is, and has been, is his nice demeanor normal for him, or is just that good an actor? Keep in mind, Florida is among the Freelancers we know the least about. The biggest indication of his personality is that Wyoming (a confirmed psychopath) liked Florida and admired him as a teammate. Consider instead Washington, who can be described as focused and task oriented, but not unkind.
Most of the Freelancers we know much about are the hypercompetitive ones that made up the top ten slots of the leaderboard at one point or another. For all we know, the "lower half" of the team may well have included the sorts of team players that never shine on their own, but who's actions push the team as a whole to victory.
Florida was the first choice to be Church's bodyguard, despite never being on the Leaderboard. Ever wonder why?
8377273
That's not just earth pony strength, that's the earth shattering strength of a rock farmer mixed with being related to Pinkie Pie
That part with Caboose, though
Maud's interaction with Tucker was funny and cute.
I'm betting Allison (aka Tex) will LOVE Maud.... she's like a mini-Tex already.
I wonder if we'll get a call-back to this when it actually happens in the timeline... It'd make for an interesting semi-brick-joke...
You should probably put a note in the description saying that you need to be up to date with RvB to understand everything that's going on. Unless you plan to write in such a way that people without knowledge of RvB can still understand it.
8377032
No, she's the infinitely more dangerous Mama Bear
t once again Tats sends me into another media I have never explored. First DBA Abridged, then Jackie Chan's Adventures, then Black Butler, RED vs. BLUE.
Thank you for expanding my horizons Tatsurou.
8377478 Very much so, she's a Mama Bear gone Dire Bear
Ha.
At least Maud didn't aim higher than the ankle...yet.
8377834
30 bits says three times next chapter alone.
I'm looking forward to how Caboose interacts with her, after all he did say he wanted a pony.
Just... so damn brilliant!
Maud is most badass being in the universe, and she damn well knows it.
8377855
done. any one else wanting to place a bet? do so now or you'll miss out.
I saw that part you did with Caboose breathing the 4th Wall. Extra points on being awesome.
Well ain't that great for Church? Now whenever someone gets on his nerves, his daughter will crush 'em like a piece of glass.
I expect this to be a semi regular thing from now on
Maud needs to find a cow skull in the dirt or in the caves. Get excited and go digging like an archaeologist, roping the team into it. I can't decide whether they should make a zen rock garden or some kind of tribal bone- and rock-reading thing with torches and creepy face paint on their visors, though.
8376932
There will be a day when Tucker's ankles become so strong that they become the reverse achilles heel and his drop kicks that lead with his ankle, follow through with his ankle, and end with his ankle shall be on the level of the legendary One Punch.
I'm seeing so much of the show in this...
You realize what you've started right? You now owe us 8 full seasons in 5-min intervals.
I wish i could give more than one like.
Now the question is....which Church is Caboose talking to, Alpha or Epsilon, while both are funny the latter implies a future heartbreak.....
Now I wonder if Maud will hook up with her cousin Junior
Yay! New chapter!
Personally, I hope they don't censor themselves too often.
I mean come on! That's like half their charm!