While Tucker's roller coaster of symptoms and experiences regarding his unexpected pregnancy were quite entertaining for Andy to watch, all others present found the week unbearable to live with and as such Tucker's experiences remained unrecorded for posterity. Besides, other than the really gross parts it only included complaining and freaking out once Ferdy established for him that knowing what she did now, she wouldn't take it personally, and he obviously really needed it if only to wear himself out so he'd be relaxed to get through everything else. The important part of that week was Ferdy informing everyone of exactly what would happen as a result of the pregnancy, ways they could help Tucker recover so that he wouldn't slip into a coma as a result of a process his biology wasn't designed for, what the newborn children would need, and the particulars of the traditions involved as in all likelihood both children would be born with the traits that would make them selected to be Questers, as one parent was one and the other was bonded to the Key.
Most of the preparation work fell to Grif, as he was the only one with a ready supply of materials to craft all that was needed. Upon given instructions in regard to what to make, he went back to his 'mine' and returned with a fully constructed birthing house complete with all the necessary medical tech that wasn't a scanner device that read everything as different shades of green unless it was pointed at Maud. The only part of the tech inside the birthing house that could be considered ancillary or difficult to understand was a machine that went 'Ping!' every so often for no discernible reason...though Ferdy insisted it was important to have.
While the idea that the infants' first meal would be blood was somewhat disturbing, that was nothing compared to the ease with which Grif returned with several buckets of the stuff that were somehow self-preserving. No one was willing to question that too much, though Simmons did take what wouldn't be needed for the infants to feed the singing plant in his garden, as Sarge wanted him to attempt to weaponize it.
The only ones present in the birthing house as the time approached aside from Tucker and Ferdy were Andy, Grif, and Caboose. Andy was there to translate, Grif was there to feed the infants, and Caboose was there to act as the 'midwife'...which, according to Ferdy's traditions, meant that his job was to step outside the house once each infant was born, and then step back inside to explain what the first thing he saw was, from which the child's name in Ferdy's language would be derived, though any shortening or rearranging of the name to make it easier to speak in Standard was perfectly acceptable.
Church sat back some distance from the birthing house as the moment approached, in his unicorn form as his transformation system was acting up again. As such, he'd moved some distance away from everyone else to practice with the telekinetic aspect of that form so as to avoid damaging anyone he cared about...or Tucker.
"So Tucker accepted the simul-pregnancy?" a voice said from behind him. "I'm surprised."
Church jumped in surprise and turned...and found himself facing a unicorn with coloration very similar to Maud's, though with a metallic sheen to the skin rather than a fluffy coat. "Texas?" he asked in surprise. "But-I mean what-I mean-"
Texas calmly placed her hoof against the grill on his helmet where his mouth would be were he unarmored. "Turns out the advanced sensors and controls in this body mean I can remotely control my armor to follow Wyoming while my actual body is free to do other things, and because its abilities are based off how Maud's work, I can warp into it from anywhere as long as I'm just out of sight. Quite useful as long as I'm not caught off guard."
"O-oh," Church managed to stammer, struggling not to stare. He couldn't help it. Even as a pony, Texas was quite fetching. Simmons had done an amazing job shaping her robotic body to match what Maud had requested, and as he was presently a pony he had a very hard time not drooling.
"So I thought I'd pass my time in a more entertaining manner," Texas purred as her horn lit up, and several catches on Church's armor disengaged themselves.
"Wha-oh!" Church said in surprise as his armor shifted. "Oh! ...oooohhh..."
Caboose kept his back turned to the proceedings as Ferdy helped Tucker through the last hurdles of the delivery. He was making a point of not learning whatever method was going to be used to help the infant out of the body not designed to give birth, as everyone had been insistent that he - like Maud - was not ready to learn certain things. He was fine with this. Besides, he was eager to perform his duty of naming! He could hardly wait.
With one last panting groan, Tucker fell silent. "Blar-gargle blah!" Ferdy spoke up insistently.
"It's a Quester!" Andy translated. "Yo idiot step-child! You're up!"
"Yay!" Caboose decreed happily as he stepped outside. He then scanned his surroundings for what would make a good name for the child...and immediately his eyes were drawn to a particular spectacle. His mind parsed it as best he could, comparing it to how Ferdy's name had been shaped, and stepped back inside. "Two-Ponies-Wrestling!" he declared excitedly, his eyes going from the tiny alien infant that matched the coloration of Tucker's armor to Tucker himself.
"Two ponies...wrestling?" Tucker responded weakly, confused. "Where did you see that?"
"It's Mom and Dad as unicorns!" Caboose explained excitedly. "They're wrestling out there! They look like they're having fun!"
As Andy burst into laughter, Tucker struggled to speak. "Bow-chicka-bow-wow, right?" Grif supplied.
"Yeah..." Tucker agreed. "Remind me to...make a lot of jokes about that to Church...when Texas is somewhere else."
At that moment, Ferdy gently removed the infant she was carrying, her own form seeming to shift of its own accord to release the now fully formed infant that was a much deeper blue. "Blar blargle!" she declared happily as the coloring shifted of its own accord.
"Got it!" Caboose declared happily as he stepped back outside.
"So...Two-Ponies-Wrestling..." Tucker mumbled thoughtfully as he looked over his child. "How are we going to shorten that?"
"Well, given how we rearranged for Ferdy, maybe Twerp?" Andy suggested somewhat maliciously. "Especially if he takes after you in personality?"
"Hey!" Tucker snapped as his strength returned. "The only ones who get to talk about me like that are Ferdy and Maud!"
"And Texas," Grif pointed out. "Because there's no way you've got the guts to try and tell her not to."
"...okay, fair point, but still!"
At that moment, Caboose stepped back inside, beaming with joy. "One-Invisible-Man-Throwing-Bucket-of-Water-on-Two-Ponies!" he declared proudly.
Everyone stared at him for a time. Eventually, it was Grif who spoke up. "So...One-Man-Bucket, then?" he clarified. "Well, this place is certainly psycho enough to call him Mob."
"Twerp and Mob, huh?" Tucker observed thoughtfully. "It works, I guess..."
"Blarg!" Ferdy declared happily, expressing her joy that both her children's names were related to ponies, and thus the Friendship she was Questing for. They would surely be of great importance to her society, and had wonderful lives ahead of them.
They're going to be hated and/or miserable now. Nice job, Ferdy.
so Caboose is aware of Flowers, anyone surprised by this?
lol funny chapter!
9580243
Not in the slightest.
9580243
Nope. I bet he thinks he is his imaginary friend.
Now I wonder how Maud will take her cousins?
Thank you for the Discworld reference. was it Small Gods that joke took place in?
You never cease to amaze.
9580284
Reaper Man, actually. And 'Two-Dogs' wishes it was 'wrestling'.
Nice.
This remains my 2nd favorite RvB fic, second only to AkumaKami64's GATE xover on ffn. A part of me wants to see the characters from this version suddenly land in canon RvB in a later season and the massive confusion their alternates would get.
Also Maud vs Meta needs to happen, even if it's just an omake or something. Just Maud going full rage mode and taking Meta apart - or maybe even Meta managing to knock her out only for Church to absolutely wreck him with the power of a protective parent. I'd find either an amazing read.
More vocabulary to be added into the universe. My dictionary has not been updated fast enough.
9580347
All of Tats's Pwny stories are leading up to a big crossover called my little Pwny which is a crossover between all of the pwny stories.
I have to say, the long that this goes on, the harder that it is to follow. I don't think that it's your writing, I had the same problem with Red vs. Blue, come about, oh season 9 or 10. 8? 6?
9442956
I'm lost. Shiny and Cadence waited for each other, Twi's dating Nefarious, and Spike was raised by Samus, and dated... Gandrayda? I don't think Twilight Velvet or Night Light were featured.
So... how would that work?
9580518
I think it's because in "Technological Technicolor Technomare", Maud was dating Ultron 19, who was part of Rainbow's family...and Rainbow is a warrior of Asgard and technically part of the pantheon through Sleiphnir, who in that story was Celestia and Luna's father...and in Twilight's story she's in a relationship with Sunset Shimmer, who is Celestia's daughter by Philomena.
9580530
I forgot about those! Now I feel stupid. Thanks, Tats! Though, that means Iroh, Zuko, Mei, Ty Lee, Jak, Daxter, Damas, Keira, Samos, Samus ,and Gandrayda are all his relatives too.
... I look forward to the family reunion. Please have a family reunion for them. This will be... interesting.
..::EDIT::.. I just saw My Own Wings, which reminded me. Fox, Krystal, Pepe, Slippy, Falco, and who knows who else I'm forgetting!
9580542
That entire crossovers just going to be a big huge moronathon isn't it?
So Twerp is canon Jr.?
I so remember that joke
9580613 And only someone like our wonderful author could possibly keep in all straightened out and keep it a story
9580613
And we're all going to love it!
Useful.
Audry?
They didn't think to do that somewhere Caboose wasn't?
What?
I get it!
I also get it.
Well... those are interesting names. I hope Maud gets a younger pony sibling soon. But with all the potential within Church and Tex.... I will not be surprised if there is a baby Alicorn showing up. I will be WORRIED if it's Pinkie Pie because well... it's PINKIE PIE WITH MAGIC AND WINGS as a foal.
9580243
Nope. Caboose gets filed under "Don't think about it". After all, if they did it, they can do it. At least sometimes.
9580438
I know Tucker is good at melee but it took him a while to master it, and I did forget about Simmons going blue that one time
9580287
I figured that old joke was what you were going for as soon as the "midwife's" job was mentioned.
Mob Psycho 100 reference at the end?
Yay for relatively obscure Monty Python references.
I was gonna question about the naming stunt with what caboos saw but then I left it because eventually pinky pie would do the same thing.
Mmmmm, love wrestling!
9580287
Fighting.
9580845
Wait. Pinkie Pie looks adopted so what if she Church & Tex’s kid but then baby Pinkie jumped through a portal, similar to how all the ponies in this Tat series have and she restarted her life as a Pie, Discord breaks the timeline, “Can’t Spell Slaughter Without Laughter” happens, the ending of that story happens, the timeline is fixed, Pinkie uses one of Twilight’s computers and creates an A.I. named “Iπ” that goes back into broken time and find a way into the Megaman X timeline to help Octavia before retiring her program to help Maud (and I think fuse with Church)?
Or was Iπ with Maud first but then left for Octavia?
Brain hurts. Anyway, Church would be aware that Pinkie was living a better life or something.
9589692
'Pink Pi-D' was revealed a few chapters ago to have been the AI Fragment Pi, the parental instinct. Specifically, the fragment that echoed Church. Thus, 'Pi-D'.
9589826
It has been awhile. So Pink Pi-D the same one in your Octavia/Megaman X story or a different program?
9590508
Same one.
9580243
No
9580243
Considering Caboose is basically Pinkie Pie in Mjolnir armour... No. No-one is surprised.
*reads the first 8 chapters*
I love Maud, but where is this story going?
*reads the most recent chapter*
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Yet another entertaining story that will likely never be finished
9758052
No Tats is really good about finishing his stories, it just takes awhile with how many he works on at the same time.
So does that mean Church now has Flauros armor?
More please
Uhhh... good story I guess? Idfk
Anyway can't wait to see the next chapter!
Please update soon!
10031757
He would...
10066213
Forgive me, but i fail to understand what this PWNY-Verse is, and how Iron Man is related to Leonard Church, and the Apple Clan.
10066534
Start with Order and Chaos, its final event is the direct precursor to all the others. And also explains why we're excited about an inevitable family reunion of ultimate insanity.
10067964
Just finished Order & Chaos! I'm VERY excited for the eventual Fused Loop story!
...*imagination going wild based off what Caboose said*...
...I need to bleach my eyes, brain, and soul... three times over
.......I'm going to need more alcohol...