Texas calmly led Church and Maud away from Blue Base towards Red Base, only to turn off towards the cliffs once they were out of direct sight. While confused, Church followed readily. Maud did not seem to be confused, or even care about where they were going. Once they reached the cliffs, Texas turned to the others. "Maud, I need to talk to your father about a few things in private," she stated calmly.
"Y-you do?" Church asked in surprise, only to flinch as Texas glared at him. "I mean yes, you do."
"So I should go play with Caboose?" Maud asked carefully.
"No," Texas responded firmly. "You should..." She mentally went over the people here in the Gulch that she could send Maud to 'play with', trying to mentally list them in order of 'least likely to cause trouble just now', and then contrasting it with a list of 'least likely to arouse suspicion by sending Maud to play with them'. Eventually - after about three seconds - she had an answer. "...you should go play with Donut," she finished. "See if you can teach him to fetch, roll over, or something."
Maud stared up at Texas silently, her emotionless gaze seeming to bore into her to pry the secrets from her soul, to force her to confess to secret motivations and truths she tried to keep hidden, locked away beyond what she was willing to share, a gaze so intense Church felt his own soul trying to unlock itself and the gaze wasn't even directed at him.
"That works better when you're holding a weapon," Texas pointed out in mild amusement. "Or when you've had more time to build up your rep."
"You consider me the most dangerous weapon in this canyon," Maud countered flatly. "And I already have everyone here abjectly terrified of me."
"Except me," Texas teased playfully. "Now go play."
Maud stared up at Texas for a bit longer, then relented. "Okay." Turning, she ducked around a corner.
Texas waited exactly three seconds, then checked her map readout for the Gulch. To her surprise, the new body and armor had a much more advanced readout in that regard than her old one had, giving her a continuous full Canyon scan of everything down to the exact position of pebbles and individual blades of grass, updated every microsecond. Now, her mind was able to handle the influx of information, but it was well beyond what she had expected for 'constructed from scratch by a drunkard'. "Whoa..." she murmured in awe. "And I thought Freelancer tech was advanced..."
"You're the one who made a fuss about how everyone was doing things with magic," Church pointed out. "You're honestly surprised magitek is super effective?"
"It's one thing to intellectually know how impressive magitek could theoretically be, having seen alien tech that looks like it," Texas corrected as she tracked Maud playing with Donut. "It's another thing to have a suit of armor that could conceivably count the number of angels dancing on a pin's head...or a pinhead, for that matter. I'm...oh wow, it's actually counting the number of microorganisms on each blade of grass to calculate how the cumulative weight and position of that will effect each blade of grass's movement for the cumulative effect on air moisture and wind direction, holy fuck..."
Church stared at Texas for a time. "So...I'm going to hold off on checking the new sensors until the discussion is finished, cause I'm pretty sure it was important..."
"Right, right..." Texas allowed, reluctantly scaling down the level of information the sensors were actively feeding her, limiting it to the area within Maud's hearing range so she'd know if Maud decided to pop back in. "It's about Omega. My AI. He's not in my head anymore...but I'm pretty sure he's still around."
"You think he hopped to a new host?" Church asked in surprise.
"I'm certain of it," Texas explained. "And I'm pretty sure he's presently in Caboose. That's why I didn't want Maud to go play with him."
"And how did he get there?" Church asked curiously.
"I'm pretty sure he hopped out of me via the communications network and into Caboose when he realized that as long as he was riding me he was completely under Maud's control, and sought to use whatever happened with the MAUD Cannon as a distraction so he could anchor himself in Caboose and get a new plan of action in place."
"So...is that why I recently saw Caboose arguing with himself over what his name was?" Church clarified.
"Wait, what? When?"
"Before Maud called me over to get my new body," Church explained. "I said 'Hey Caboose' - though in Spanish - and he countered by saying 'My name is O'Malley-no it's not-yes it is-you shut up-I'm not crazy!-yes I am!' I...kinda just backed away slowly, convinced he'd had a psychotic break from losing his New Dad and New Mom so soon after getting them."
"No way..." Texas whispered in awe. "Omega is in Caboose...and he's actively fighting his influence! I didn't think Caboose had the mental discipline to manage something like that."
"$50 says Maud has something to do with it," Church insisted quickly.
"No bet, that's a given," Texas countered.
"So that's why you sent Maud to play with Donut," Church deduced thoughtfully, "because you want to try and eliminate Omega completely, and you're pretty sure that will involve eliminating Caboose before Omega can body hop again."
"Well, that's one plan-" Texas began, only to cut herself off. She then turned to the cliffside. "Maud, I know you're there."
Maud stepped around the corner. "Donut said if parents send the kid to go play, it's because they're either talking about something they don't want the kid to know about, or because they want privacy for grown-up fun times. The fact you said no about playing with Caboose tells me it's because Omega's inside him and you didn't want me to know...or didn't want me to know what you intended to do about it."
Texas and Church exchanged a look. "Okay, who's she been spending time with to get so smart?" Church asked curiously.
"Well she is my daughter," Texas countered playfully.
"Oh hush!"
Chuckling, Texas turned to Maud. "I take it you want to be part of the discussion, then?"
"No," Maud allowed. "But I want a hug from both my parents at once if bad stuff is going to happen."
"Fair enough," Texas allowed as she stepped forward, reaching for Maud to hug her.
Her body suddenly contorted, limbs folding in on themselves as her torso collapsed inward, her head extending outward as it shrank and reshaped. Armored wings extended from her sides as she continued to shrink until she was about twice Maud's size or so, the transformation completing as an armored tail extended out from her coccyx. Walking forward on all fours without fully noticing the transformation as yet, she crossed her neck over Maud's as she wrapped one wing around her. She then stared down at the armored feathers. "...the fuck?"
"So that's what the extra joints are for," Maud murmured thoughtfully as she nuzzled into the embrace.
"I have the joints too, though," Church pointed out...only for his own body to undergo a similar transformation minus the wings. "Okay, how come Tex gets wings and I don't?" he demanded before adding his own neck-cross to the group embrace. He then glanced towards Texas. "And how is she still smoking hot to my human mind as a pony?"
"Ask again when Tucker's near enough to hear," Texas joked as the trio pulled back from each other. "You good?" she asked Maud carefully.
Maud nodded, a faint smile touching her lips. "I love you both."
"And we love you too," Church replied immediately, Texas nodding confirmation. "Now go play."
Maud turned to go, then paused. "By the way, what does 'A.I. Sys Hard Lock Engaged, Control Sys Hard Keyed Alpha/Beta' mean? My armor tried to access yours for some reason while we were hugging, and got that message."
"I...have no idea," Church allowed thoughtfully.
"It means that these bodies are now keyed exactly to the two of us," Texas deduced calmly, "and if we have to step out, Omega can't step in and take control of them." She reversed her transformation, once more taking a human form. "And that gives us a new way to hunt Omega down. If we can figure out how to create a trap for Omega if he tries to take over one of our bodies-"
AI Frag Code Key Omega Identified
Data Trap programming commencing
Estimated time to completion: 7 hours
"...or the voice commands on this tech could be way more advanced than I anticipated," Texas mused thoughtfully. "What next, a list of voice commands for taking on different pony forms?"
Command: Ponify
Variations - Charge, Take Flight, Unify
Error in Alpha Units transformation command prompt: Unable to pre-select Pony Type
"...remind me to be facetious more often," Texas told Maud as she balanced between amusement and awe. She had the feeling she'd be in that state a lot, and should probably come up with a shorthand for that feeling. Awemusement sounded about right.
Awemazing.
I am jumping for joy right now! I’m so looking forward to seeing where this goes now that we have Pony Texas and Pony Church!
...Sounds about right.
Drunk Simmons is most capable Simmons. I can't wait for Wash, Carolina, Felix, and Locus to meet this improved version of the Reds & Blues.
Question: to what season of RvB will you go? Season 13, or season 15? Also, RvB was renewed for season 16.
Please do so Tex. Because it is working FANTASTICALLY for you, making you a MAJOR Pony Badass.
So Tex is a pegasus while Church/Alpha is an earth pony. Not bad.
Not that they could have found this out, but Caboose is pretty resistant to Omalley's control in canon too... just less likely to argue with him. I think it's because the techniques Omalley uses assume a neuro-typical mind, which is, well, NOT the case with Caboose.
8728491
not sure of how long Masud'll be there, but I guess there is a blog post about it...
8728491
We got a release date yet? Also, hope it won’t be more shit like the Blues and Reds. The S13 ending was amazing until S15 undercut it.
8728507
Church/Alpha as he is now, i.e., a broken AI, is an Earth Pony. I fully expect the unbroken version to have been an Alicorn.
I said it before and I will say it again. Texas must be nominated for the 'Best Mother' award.
Texas won't say 'Well she is your daughter.'.
Quick question when Tex is in Pegasus form can she manipulate/walk on clouds?
Seems Texas is going to wing it for trapping Omega.
I think you forgot who was talking in this paragraph.
Texas is credited as speaking too many times. I think you wanted a paragraph break after Tex refuses to take Church's bet? Because Tex sent Maud to play with Donut, but she's also speaking again in the next line of dialogue. The dialogue after "Texas countered" sounds like Church.
8728689
Thx.
Wondering if the wings double down as weapons since they're made of metal.
Could easily see Tex bring death from above a new literal meaning.
So Tex and Church are now Transformers. That has to be the coolest thing I have ever seen.
Robots transforming into animals.
8728693
People who use it are ether memeing, have the extremely rare gold variant, like loud noises or a of the three.
8728586
I’m also sure he’s going to be swapping between the three pony races at random for the foreseeable future.
8728787
I see.
8728724
No, they're transforMARES!
8728834
I'm pretty sure Church didn't get that part of the package... Or lack of one... Queue the Tucker
Oh I can't wait until they break out of the simulation... They're going to raise all sorts of hell. Probably without lifting a finger/hoof as well/.
Okay, that's an... interesting twist.
Why can't I like and favorite more than once?! Seriously, you had my like and favorite after the first few chapters and the fic just keeps getting better every single freaking chapter. No joke, no exaggeration, this is my absolute favorite of your stories I'm tracking, and the one I'm most excited to see updates for. Which is a little ironic, as canon Red vs Blue is the one franchise in PWNY that outright bored me when I tried watching it, and the franchise I care the least for besides God of War, which I straight up dislike.
8728834
That applies to Tex, but the pun doesn't work for males. And Church's body is anatomically male.
8728586 8728789
I agree with both sentiments. Based on this note:
He can't pre-select a pony type because when he's broken he is missing the function, so he'll be randomly switching. When he is unbroken he can't pre-select because he'll be all three.
Pretty sure I'm just repeating what you both said, but eh, just saying I'm thinking on your wavelengths.
Wonder what she wants?
I think Donut is one of the few characters we've never seen legitimately "I'm through screwing around" furious. Even Caboose had that moment against the Tex clones, thanks to Church, but, still.
Except Tex. Because she's probably the only one who can out badass you right now.
I love the idea of the Drunken Savant. Mostly inept while sober, basically God when drunk. It amuses me to no end.
Goddamn, that's probably the most detailed sensor I've ever seen.
Probably.
I don't doubt that for a SECOND.
Ah, clever.
Probably.
Not an unreasonable explanation.
He doesn't. He's just that stupid.
Smart.
... Both you and Donut are far more clever than you let on.
That's fair.
I suppose so.
Oh, so you're an Earth Pony.
Daaaw...
Oooh...
Nice work, Simmons.
Oh, that works.
Texas, Ponify! That sounds just as stupid awesome as I'd hoped. Also, guessing Charge is Earth Pony, Take Flight is Pegasus and Unify is Unicorn. Not Unicron thankfully, Texas is scary enough when she ISN'T a giant planet eater.
Sounds about right.
Yay, pony robot forms! And the family hug was adorable. I can't wait to see how they deal with Omega.
8728586 Alpha/Church: WHY ARE ALL THE PONIES CALLING ME A PRINCESS?????
Now I'm scared for who ever crosses the pie sister's and their "parents" if the multiverse ever collapses into a single universe, especially by then I'm sure Chrysy will have been won over by pinkie into being her best friend
I remember there being a comment on an earlier chapter where it was suggested that they be able to transform into ponies but Church wouldn't get to pick which kind.
Looking forward to Texas using unicorn magic.
That’s one way to get tail.
Bow Chicka Bow Wow.
8729522
I fully expect Apple Jack and Chrysalis to be friends as they’re shape-shifting gunslingers with an affinity for bladed weapons.
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Ya.......That is a stretch to make friends out of them for.
Dr Nefarious, eat your heart out
Caboose was my favorite Blue for a reason
8728711
Yeah, imagined the feathers with a bladed edge... that is one part of well known mlp fanon, the wing blades
............. I really want to make a transformers joke....... but I wont.
8730257
A stretch is making Discord’s daughters Celestia and Luna.
Then again, I’m not Discord. Even if the pony and changeling don’t get along; what’s stopping Dante and DeadPool from being friends?
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Actually it makes quiet a bit of sense if you think about it, Chaos is change, even in the natural order we take about chaos is why we live with day and night, the different seasons. And with who their mother is with this multiverse it's no wonder luna got power over the dreamworld. As well King Discord did take aspects and blessings from the other princes to achieve the Chim state, so even makes sense why the "holy" power of the sun was tied in to celestia, and the reflective nature of the moon for luna
Did Simmons just shoot up to being the most powerful human in the canyon? With robotics skills like that, he could probably beat the Covenant all by himself if he had enough booze.
8735256
Drunk Simmons, yes. But he'd probably need rocket fuel grade alcohol. And sufficient motivation and lack of distractions.
8733252
Now, see, that took a lot more words minimum to justify than it took to justify Applejack and Chrysalis. So I think AJ and Chryssi getting along is at least as likely.
What I'm worried about is Applejack not being able to hug her little sister. (Half demon AJ and good-chi infused Apple Bloom? That's going to be... inconvenient.)
8741204
Bia could touch the ponies because of wild chi from her being a siren first, as well the ponies are a natural source of good chi so there is that same loop hole with AJ as with Bia, so the real question would be who is the better demon hunter at that point, AJ with physical skill or AB with magic?
as well I was talking about personality with AJ and chrisy where arcane structure with how the princesses could be discords kids
8741204
Applejack isn't part demon. She's part devil. Specifically, part Devil Knight.
The descendants of Sparda do not have an inherent vulnerability to good magic...mostly because I'm pretty sure Dante and Virgil's mother - Sparda's wife - was a Miko, or other sort of Priestess.
As if Agent Texas wasn't overpowered enough already....
8741380
Or an angel in the reboot either way divine guidence
This is drifting further and further away from coherent fanfiction in all the right ways.
8744885
Mhmm! Maud is a Pie after all, I expected cannon derailment from the word go... and who cares if Tex is more OP then ever.. she and Leonard (aka Church) are the RIGHT kind of OP, Saitama OP? Maybe..
That is ridiculously cool armor.