A New Voice
By the time the sparring match finally finished - with no clear winner - Texas was both impressed and confused by what was going on in this canyon. One thing she knew, however, was that she needed to get those answers...and also talk to 'Church'. Maud had described him as a Schrodinger, and Texas knew what that meant. Of course, the hard part would be managing to find him so she could talk to him. She turned to Maud. "So where's your Dad?" she asked firmly.
"Over there," Maud said calmly as she looked at a nearby hill. "He always watches the sparring matches. He's in and out just now, though."
Nodding, Texas walked over to the hill in question. "About here?"
Maud nodded.
Texas took a deep breath, then let it out. Intellectually, she knew it wasn't her lungs, and yet the exercise still helped calm her...even if what she was calming herself for was a disconnect. "Maud, I'm going to...pull a little in-n-out myself," she explained calmly.
"Bow-chicka-bow-OW!" Tucker called out, only for his taunt to be interrupted as Texas easily kicked a small rock into his faceplate without even turning to look.
"And while I'm doing that, i need you to do something for me," Texas continued.
"The glowy not-Dad in your head?" Maud asked calmly.
"Exactly," Texas confirmed. "While I'm...out, he might try something. Can you make sure he doesn't?"
Turning, Maud reached up to Texas' shoulder and drew back clutching a glowing grey sphere between her front hooves. "I've got him," she stated calmly.
Texas tried not to stare. "...Maud, when you meet people outside this canyon, a lot of them are going to complain about how the things you do shouldn't be possible. When that happens...flog them with their own spinal cord, then put it back so they can feel it afterwards, okay?"
"I can do that?" Maud asked in surprise.
"It honestly wouldn't surprise me," Texas offered warmly. "Just don't test it on anyone you're worried about putting back together in one piece. Your aim with anything smaller than a boulder could still use some work." Knowing Maud had everything in hoof, Texas...stepped out.
She found herself in an odd reflection of Blood Gulch, with muted colors and a grey sky. Standing right in front of her was a figure she knew all too well. This was Alpha, although here he was known as... "Church."
Church looked at her in shock. "Texas? Are...are you dead, too?"
"Just astral projecting," she responded easily. "Needed to talk to you about a few things, figured this was easier since it's apparently a strain for you to manifest so I can see and hear you. Or you might have been avoiding me because you were scared I'd still find some way to break several of your limbs over making me a Mom without asking permission despite you not currently possessing limbs to break."
"Bow-chicka-bow-OW!" echoed through the ether.
"And Maud's aim seems to be getting better," Texas observed in wry amusement.
"But...but how are you astral projecting?" Church demanded in confusion.
"My daughter had to get it from somewhere," she answered flippantly.
"That doesn't make any sense!" he countered in frustration.
"Said the ghost father of the talking pony," Texas indicated wryly.
Church sighed ruefully. "Point made. So...you're not mad about Maud seeing you as Mom?"
"Had I heard it from you? I'd have definitely broken something," Texas confirmed. "But having met her first, I think she can live up to it. Now her 'idiot baby brother', on the other hand..."
"Oh fudge," Church groaned, his body briefly flaring pink when he didn't curse, only to fade back into white.
Texas stared at him thoughtfully. That was...interesting. "Now, perhaps you can tell me why the conflict in the canyon is so...odd."
"It was Captain Flowers' idea," Church explained. "He told me it would lead to everyone being stronger fighters and thus better protectors for Maud."
More like for you, Texas thought silently in her mind. That explained quite a bit of Agent Florida's motivations. This canyon was here to hide and protect Church...whatever form he was in. Florida had used Maud as a way to shape the canyon so even the standard conflicts worked to better protect Church. "And now you and Flowers are dead," Texas observed. "Why isn't he here?"
"I think he already passed on," Church suggested thoughtfully. He briefly blazed pink again. "But I can't. I need to look after Maud."
"I'll lend a hand," Texas offered, deciding to think about pink another time. "She's a cute kid. Besides...I wanted a talking pony at some point in my life, I'm certain."
"It's...it's good to see you, Tex," Church offered warmly. "Do...do you think we can...fix what went wrong?"
It took a few moments for Texas to parse what Church meant. He still thought her words about them 'used to be together' was that she was his ex-girlfriend...which meant they broke up. He was asking about fixing what caused them to break up. ...but that wasn't even close to what really happened. "It's not something that can be fixed, Church," she pointed out, hiding her own sadness. After all, she couldn't fix him. "But...I think we can work around it. For Maud."
"I...I'd like that," Church replied happily.
"For now, I'm going to step back in," Texas explained. "Shouldn't leave Maud unwatched too long...and I need to talk to Sarge and Tucker about the role I'm going to play in this canyon." With that, she slipped back into her body.
She found herself staring at Sarge. "What do you want?" she demanded coldly.
"Oh, good!" Sarge replied happily. "You're back in! Maud said you were out! It's time for introductions! First up is someone Maud hasn't met yet either!" Stepping to the side, he revealed a brown-armored soldier that Texas was immediately able to identify as being artificial. "This is Lopez, our mechanic! I haven't brought him around much because I built him from a kit that didn't include a voice chip, and I didn't want Maud to feel like she had competition in the 'barely talks' category!"
Lopez waved.
"I've got a spare voice modulator," Texas spoke up. Spare in the sense I'm not going to use it anymore, she added silently. "I could probably tweak it for him to use."
"He needs a voice," Maud agreed, grabbing the modulator off Texas' armor and jamming it into Lopez' circuitry.
"Seriously?!" Simmons screamed out from nearby. "Can't you do anything the way it's supposed to be done? At this rate I feel like the only way to deal with you is to have a drinking game where I take a shot every time you do something that should be impossible, but my liver's nowhere near strong enough for that and there isn't nearly enough booze in the canyon-"
"Actually, I've managed to make some good booze out of what I've mined...somehow," Grif offered. "Want some?"
"...actually, I think I do," Simmons agreed, turning to follow Grif.
"I want to call them on drinking on duty...but that mine booze sure sounds good...but Grif made it...I'm so conflicted!"
"Wait, Lopez isn't a real person?" Caboose asked Sarge in confusion once the red leader managed to stop ranting to himself.
"Him never talking, flipping vehicles over to work on them with his bare hands, and drinking motor oil didn't tip you off?" Sarge asked in confusion.
"I do those second two things!" Caboose pointed out happily.
If half of these troops were female, I'd be convinced this canyon was a super-human breeding experiment by now, Texas thought to herself. A failed one, but still...
<"So this is what it is going to be like from now on,"> Lopez observed in Spanish. <"Somehow I shouldn't be surprised.">
"Lopez!" Sarge spoke up angrily. "Why are you speaking that nonsense jargon?"
"He's speaking Spanish," Texas pointed out. "Probably a result of Maud shoving it in skewing the settings. I could probably fix it-"
"If Maud wants him speaking Spanish, then by God Lopez is gonna speak Spanish!" Sarge insisted firmly.
<"And there is the joke,"> Lopez observed sadly. <"Either Maud will be the only one who speaks Spanish, or no one will understand, or Maud will understand but pretend not to because she finds it amusing. But whichever way it goes, I am doomed to never being understood except by other machines. ...at least the readers will have subtitles and get the joke.">
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Wouldn't mind the spanish subtext just so we're not having to do a quick round with bing or google. Maybe a AN at the bottom?
Poor Lopez
8616210
I prefer to write it like this since I don't speak Spanish.
Of course Grif managed to figure out how to make booze out of Minecraft materials.
See! Lopez knows how it is.
Poor Lopez. We love you anyway you backstabbing, Spanish, Terminator's head.
Sounds like Lopez will have all the good lines. Also hopefully he develops his cannon personality as well.
Sounds familiar somehow...
I think Maud left some Pie magic in Lopez.
Or it's been longer than i thought since i last watched the show, 'cause i don't remember him breaking the fourth wall.
8616229
Yeah... that's definitely some Pie Magic, right there.
8616216
Well wheat is a thing and potatoes as well in minecraft and both are used to brew brew/vodka
Well, Lopez, from what I can tell your Spanish is impeccable. I’m working on mine myself.
Okay, I like how you made Lopez speak Spanish. And despite my own Spanish being horrible, I like reading Lopez's lines in his voice.
8616227 Thanks for the nostalgia. Papi was so funny in The Proud Family
8616206
Indeed
Oh look, he's a 4th Wall breaker too!
Don't joke about it Texas, it won't end well in anyone's imagination.
I'm pretty sure that Maud knows what Lopez is saying
too
8616214
I'm pretty sure the way they do it while writing is to use Google Translate. Either that, or during the seasons we're in now, Rooster Teeth's resident Mexican was asked. Most times he was still wrong.
.................THAT'S a scary thought.
Ouch. Poor Lopez. I can't help but feel sorry for you dude. Getting shafted like that. (Tucker: Bow-Chicka-Bow-OW! Me: NOT THE TIME DUMBASS!)
Oh gods, when sister gets there.
8616343
Well, I don't want to try writing it in Spanish that way only for readers that do speak Spanish to ignore comments and say, "That's bad Spanish!" fifty times.
8616214
I think i can help , i already sent the script in Spanish to your pm box in fanfiction
Edit : if they say that's bad Spanish then I've talked bad my native language all my life
8616360
...I don't want to go through all that. I just said that in the previous comment.
8616351
Big woop. Burnie isn't that fluent. Part of Lopez's jokes were the errors habla espanol.
8616351
8616390
That may be the case for the show, but from a writing perspective it's frustrating because readers won't necessarily look at it that way.
8616394
You already got someone volunteering to give you. the Spanish stuff, just on the Lopez dialog and get the Spanish back.... If you need a backup for it just PM or mail it to me...
Thought since I am not interested in watching RVB I might mess Lopez's Lopezness, after all...
Aww. Poor Lopez.
8616456
You misunderstand.
If I have Lopez speak proper Spanish with subtitles, fans of RvB will complain I'm writing him wrong.
If I write his Spanish show-accurate, readers who are fluent Spanish speakers will complain about me getting the Spanish wrong.
As any attempt at using Spanish text in-story would
1) Result in reader complaints
2) Be an excessive amount of work for me
and 3) Possibly require me to rely on others to get the story out
I'm going to stick with having Lopez 'speaking Spanish' the way I have him now, with it being identified by a different surrounding for the text. Because that's what works for me, as the writer.
8616467oh well bugger... You are right, fastest, most reliable way that seems to be... Then I would suggest text italicized 4 Lopez....
8616473
I use Italicized for thoughts or telepathic communication. I already have it written that <"This means speaking in Spanish,"> so I'll stick with that.
Poor Simmons and his outdated grasp of physics, hopefully the booze will help (or just cause him to go into a depressed analytical rant) either way the hangover will just cause more suffering, which is funny so I approve.
That we do
Poor Lopez.
And yay for Tex giving Maud ideas. Apparently she works like a 40k ork in the same way Qwark did.
And Lopez is a fourth wall breaker that's perfect XD
Is Simmons going to become an alcoholic?
0.o since when was Lopez a fourth wall breaker?
Aw, poor Lopez. Even in fanfiction, no one understands him.
Yes, finally, welcome to the team Lopez.
8616584
Yes.
8616467
Oh now thats a proper explanation , sorry if I bothered you too much , nonetheless I would like to know if you would let me put the Spanish Lopez in the comments since a few were interested
8616676
If you want to, go ahead.
8616585
I have no idea if he's natively a fourth-wall breaker, but it's already in bad shape at this point. It wouldn't be hard for him to see through the cracks by piggybacking on what everyone around him is already doing (especially Maud and Caboose).
8616693
Caboose makes sense, he is already an idiot, now the adoptive brother of Maud (and, in a way... to Pinkie)... wait a second... Caboose acts strangely alot like Pinkie Pie now that I think of it... wonder if they know each other because physics?
8616214
Just use Google Translate. That's what RT useses
And while I'm doing that, i need you to do something for
1. Forgot to capitalise.
No surprise on what Grif was drinking considering how kuchen elbow grease he needs to put out.
8616795
Read this comment.8616467
Just speed read this and boy I can't wait for more!
Man, you almost feel sorry for Omega... almost. I can't wait to see the fun Maud and her mom get up to breaking the laws of physics and nature as they find new ways to beat people to death with their body parts.