The Eating Habits of the Genus Strix

by Posh

At least it's not one of Fluttershy's

Twilight's knife slid cleanly through the carrot stalk with quick, precise motions, and scraped each piece into a steadily growing pile off to the side of the cutting board. Beside her, on the kitchen counter, was a bowl of crunchy greens and juicy tomato wedges.

She hummed along to a ditty in her head as she finished with the carrot, lifted the board over the bowl, and dropped the pieces into the salad. A pair of forks levitated from a nearby silverware drawer, tossing the bowl's contents as Twilight squirted spurts of vinaigrette inside.

"And, for the final touch," she muttered to herself, her stomach rumbling. A hard-boiled egg hovered over the salad; its shell disintegrated in a flash of light, and the egg quartered in midair, its pieces falling among the rest of the salad.

"One high-protein, low-calorie salad, well dressed and tossed to perfection – a perfectly balanced lunch for the modern, health-conscious bookworm." She stabbed one of her forks into the bowl, floated it off the counter, and turned to head out of the kitchen. "Hey, Spike, as long as I'm up, do you want me to get you any—"

"Shh. Shhhh." Spike was pressed against the kitchen door, his fingers curled around its edge as he peered furtively into the library. "Twilight, you gotta get a load of this."

"Get a load of... what?" Twilight trotted toward the door, carefully maintaining her telekinetic grip on the salad bowl. "What's the matter?"

Spike snapped his neck around and held a finger to his lips, shushing Twilight with even greater ferocity. Then he returned to his peeking, beckoning Twilight closer.

Twilight rolled her eyes, ducked her head, and crept over to Spike, hovering her head above his.

Spike's fingers drummed silently against the door. "You see it right?"

"Uh... I think so," Twilight whispered back. Owlowiscious perched beside the carved pony head on the library's central table, his back to the kitchen and his head hunched over something. "Why don't you clue me in, though?"

"It's Owlicious. He's—"

"Owlowiscious."

"Whatever, Twilight, same diff. That's not the point here—"

"Don't whatever me," Twilight hissed to her assistant. "I know you two haven't always gotten along, but you could at least trouble yourself to get his name right. How would you feel if he called you 'Spee-kay,' huh?"

"I'd be impressed that he said something besides 'who,'" Spike shot back. "Now shut up and—"

"Don't shut up me either, Spike! What's gotten into—"

"Twi, look!" Spike grabbed her mane and gave it a good yank; though it made her annoyance with him grow, it also had the intended effect. She looked, and covered her mouth with her hoof to stifle a gasp.

"Oh my goodness," Twilight breathed. "Is he... is he eating?"

"Uh-huh."

"I've never seen him eat before! This is absolutely fascinating!" Twilight exclaimed, her glee nearly causing her voice to rise above Fluttershy levels of noise. Then she dropped her hoof and squinted at Owlowiscious again as he tossed his head back. Something red and wet-looking vanished through his mouth.

Twilight's muzzle crinkled. "Is he eating... meat?"

"Yeah," Spike replied. "Yeah, he's eating meat."

"...How long has he been at it?" Twilight whispered raggedly.

"How long were you makin' that salad?"

"Sheesh..." Swallowing, Twilight looked down at Spike. "Do you... do you know what kind of meat?"

Spike squinted. "Rat, I think. Or mouse. Maybe a squirrel. What difference does it make?"

"I guess it doesn't. It's just..." Twilight trailed off. Absently, she began to twirl her fork in the bowl that still floated next to her. "Huh."

"Yeah. Huh. Guess owls are carnivorous. Who knew?" Spike's nails dug slightly into the wood. "We should probably do something about it."

"Do something?" Twilight blinked down at Spike. "Like what?"

"Like... stop him?" Spike said slowly, looking back up at Twilight to meet her gaze bemusedly. "There are a lot of places in Ponyville for an owl to hork down a rodent, and I'm not sure the library furniture is one of them."

"No, no... no, I don't think that's necessary," said Twilight, looking back out at the hungry owl. "You were right to tell me, but we should, uh... we should let him finish up, shouldn't we? Y'know, for science?"

"Science?" Spike parroted skeptically.

"Yeah, science. First time we've seen him eat, and all. This is a good chance to, uh... study him... to learn about..." Twilight trailed off. The fork stabbed through a tomato and a wet wad of lettuce, and slid the collected vegetation into Twilight's mouth. Her muffled munching drew Spike's attention; he stared up at her, askance.

"What are you— you're eating? You're watching the owl eat a rat, and you're eating while watching him?!"

Twilight gulped down the mouthful, and shrugged. "Yeah, why not? I'm hungry."

Spike pointed at the owl. "He's eating. A rat. On the furniture!"

"So I see." Twilight shoved a clump of lettuce and egg into her mouth. The vinaigrette was tangy on her lips and tongue, blending well with the taste of the yolk.

Spike's face twisted. "Is watching him eat making you hungrier?!"

"Mmf?" Twilight glanced at her salad, swallowing. "Now that you mention it... I guess there is some kind of correlation between his appetite and mine. Or perhaps a correlation between my appetite for learning and my appetite for... uh... food."

She floated three carrot slices from the bowl and popped them into her mouth, one after the next.

"...Weird. Weird, weird, weird. Weirdo." Spike shook his head in bafflement, and looked back into the library with a shudder. "Not as weird as carnivorism, but still... weird."

"Don't be judgmental, Spike," Twilight scolded. "Dragons are naturally omnivorous, aren't they?"

"Which is not the same as carnivorous," Spike fired back. "Besides, when was the last time you saw me eat meat?"

"You still have the capacity to—"

"Yeah, but I don't. I channel all my meat-urges into more noble pursuits, like baking. And poetry." Spike looked up at Twilight. "Did I tell you I started writing poetry?"

"Poetry? Really?" Twilight frowned. "You haven't started sending Rarity love poems, have you?"

"No," Spike snapped, blushing. Then, after a moment, he sheepishly muttered, "yes."

Twilight sighed and rubbed the top of Spike's head affectionately. "Oh, Spike..."

A muffled ripping noise drew their attention back to the library. "Goodness. He's really into that, isn't he?" Twilight murmured.

"Yeah," Spike said airily. He reached for the salad bowl, fished out the remaining pieces of egg, and tossed them into his mouth.

Twilight watched him chew, rolling her eyes.

So much for "perfectly balanced."

Author's Note:

A tribute to the first episode of the show that I ever watched... which, if I hadn't had the sense to give the show another chance after that, would've been the last episode of the show that I ever watched.

Twilight and Spike not knowing about owls was, to me, one of the weirdest things about the first season.

This is also the prototype chapter for another story that I conceived last night. I liked it, as did a couple of blokes from the Writeoff crew who looked it over, but I thought it clashed with the tone that I was going for. I liked it too much to throw it out, though.

Comments

[bloons3]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with watching, just because you're not directly participating doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.

[Comrade Bagel Muffin]

A decent SL. It was an enjoyable quick read.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Hey, someone had to post it.

In any case, yeah, when you adopt a wild animal, you're probably going to end up with a few bits of rat carcass on the couch.

Also, your first episode of pony was the worst episode of Season 1? Yikes. I'm glad you gave the show another chance, but I would't have blamed you for dropping it after that. In any case, thank you for a lovely and slightly bizarre slice of life featuring the local Athena analogue and her symbol prior to the former's full apotheosis.

[Posh]

8306483 It didn't impress me, but there was enough about it that I did like to make me come back to the show.

I wish I could remember what the second episode I saw was...

[Norad2]

8306496
Posh, this might be a weird question to ask here, but what's your strategy for getting in the head of each different character? Personality notes? Natural talent? Lots of practice, obviously, but with what method?

[WyngsTriumphant]

I find it a bit ridiculous that so many authors portray Owlwiscious as not eating meat, but simply "choosing" to be a vegetarian.

As wise a being as he is, I don't think that means that he would willingly forgo his natural ways. There's nothing wrong with eating meat, even in the land of Equestria. You can't possibly tell me that every single being in Equestria is a herbivore.

It's a pretty land, carnivorism doesn't necessarily ruin that. Simply nature. Nothing disgusting about meat. Circle of life.

That said, this was a very simple, but enjoyable story. Too often the Random and SoL genres result in a boring experience. I'm glad to see that people can still tell the difference between casual and boring.

Well done

[Georg]

Once Spike had been chased off to other chores and Owlowicious had returned to his perch to sleep off the bloody meal, Twilight Sparkle took a few minutes to check out the damages.  It really was not all that bad, since she had a spell to remove blood from fabric and had gotten quite a bit of practice with it due to the Crusader's tendency to run inside the library⁽*⁾  for medical treatment after any of their plans went sideways.
(*) Twilight tried to think of her 'patching-up' sessions more as basic anatomy lessons for the CMC than attempts to hide evidence of illicit mark-gaining activities from overprotective siblings.

She swept the leftover fur into the trash, mended a tiny rip in the chair's lining, and went outside to where the trash was put until collection day.  Ostensibly, her task was for disposal, but as long as she was out there, she took a quick peek inside the rat tunnel that had been chewed into the library roots and counted the inhabitants.

As she suspected, there was one missing.

"Stupid owl," she muttered under her breath.  "Hunt in your own territory.  I was saving that one for a special occasion.  Now I'll need to talk to Fluttershy again about getting a replacement."  She heaved a sigh and returned to the library, considering just what other dietary changes she had undergone since she became a princess.

[stephen51991]

8306483

[Hivemind]

Pretty nice. Probably one of most SOL stories I've read in the past year.

[Different Dragon]

I don't remember the first episode I watched, mostly because it was just on for my nephew while I was babysitting, but I do remember the episode that got me interested; Luna Eclipsed.

[Posh]

8306594 WARNING this is NOT canon, this is SEASON ONE twilight and is sequel is UNAUTHORIZED

...I just realized that I don't actually indicate anywhere that this is season one twilight. Whoopsiedoodle.

8306538 I'm actually M.A. Larson.

[Norad2]

8306740
The first “episode” I watched was actually the fan short Musicians of Ponyville. Needless to say, I was intrigued.

As far as real episodes, I started at the beginning and moved forward chronologically.

Fun Fact: I was actually introduced to Scootaloo in FoE before I saw her first episode.

[OmniFox]

Spike should do payback pranks.

[howard035]

8306594

Spike's face twisted. "Is watching him eat making you hungrier?!"
"Mmf?" Twilight glanced at her salad, swallowing. 

"Sorry Spike, I just suddenly remembered I need to visit our friends on the other side of the mirror portal for another trip to that 'stake' house, whatever it was."

[Alondro]

And then Spike started eating ponies. So did Twilight.

[Alondro]

8306619 Dragons are immune to lava, steel needles, and can chew diamonds. But owl talons can rip through them like toilet paper.

[Lancerlot]

8306594
There's a reason rats and other rodents tend to have large litters, and to grow quickly to maturity. They serve as a way to turn inedible material into meat for small-to-medium sized predators.

[Super Trampoline]

I've reviewed your story HERE!

[Regidar]

Perfect characterization. You hit Twilight spot on especially.

The little "Spee-kay" jab got a good snort from me.

[Posh]

9677287 I don't know what inspired this story, exactly, but I wish I had more of it.