• Member Since 11th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 17th, 2021


CAUTION: User is British, and thus may use British spellings. Expect an 'S' where you'd normally find a 'Z' and the letter 'U' in places you never thought you'd see it. You have been warned. :P


Twilight Sparkle has always been content with having Spike as her number one assistant and Owlowicious as her number two. Together, they provide all the help and aid that she could ever need. But one night, during a hectic letter-writing session, a staffing problem and a miscast spell cause her to acquire a third assistant. One who seems just a little too keen to help...

A Microsoft Office/MLP crossover. Now there's a sentence you won't read very often.

By no means an original idea, it's actually inspired by a couple of pieces of art I saw along the same lines.

A short one-shot story whilst I work on the third part of my changeling OC series.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 76 )

Paperclip, we meet again.

Oh Celestia it haunts me again I hated that paperclip :twilightangry2: good story


Wow. That was hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

I registered for fimfiction just to vote this up :)

"She thought of how he tirelessly and unquestioningly did all the tedious and dangerous things she didn't want to do, like keeping the library clean and tidy, preparing her meals, acting as bait to distract Discord and packing her saddlebags for her journey to the mountain."

"It looks like you're orbiting a planet. Would you like some help?"

Bookmarked, my dear friend! Bravo!

Oh, come on, guys. That ol' paper clip was never that anno--

"It looks like you're typing a comment. Would you like some help?"


Meh, not bad, I'm desperate for something to read and this entertained me.

Good. I liked the reference to TF2 "Need a dispenser here!"
Twin should threaten celestial with more troll clips. Maybe make celestial give her wings. :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::trollestia::trollestia:
There were 4 thumbs up, then after I voted thumbs up, there were 10.


I'd like to say I have never enjoyed his presence. Everything changed when this fic attacked.


Dear God that was awesome. Awesome concept executed with perfection! A few out-of-universe jokes and one very nice fan joke thrown in, just hilarious and well-written genius.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png

This fic... is so freaking funny. xD

It's look like you reading a comment. Would you like some help?


With the power of Javascript, Clippy is back C:


...Words cannot describe how purely awesome that is. Wait, they can!
It was radioactively awesome with exponential growth.


Clippit...The Spawn of Satan himself! :twilightoops::raritycry::pinkiecrazy::fluttercry:

Normally I don't like the perception of Celestia as just sending all her problems to the moon, BUT for Clippy I'll gladly make an exception. Now if only he had a body that could explosively decompress...

This story was both brilliant and beautiful. And also mind-scarring. I think I'm having traumatic flashbacks to those dark days, where sentient paperclips haunted almost every word processor I used. :rainbowderp:

Seriously, though, awesome story. Well-written, well-paced, no noticeable errors, and a hilariously fun read. Great job! :yay:

Poor Moon

Nice. I wonder what would've happened that annoying paper clip met any of the other Mane 6:

"It looks like you're trying to make a dress. Do you need any help with that?"

This man is a genius.:rainbowderp: Do as he says and you shall win ALL THE BACON!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:


Oh believe me, I was tempted. Even more so now that bacon is involved...

But in all honesty, I don't have the skill to continue this in such a way that the joke won't go stale partway through! :rainbowlaugh:


Really? That's incredibly awesome of you. Thanks. :pinkiehappy:

And no transforming into a bicycle?

This has to be one of the most original crossovers ever.

It looks like you're spamming a comment section. Would you like some help?

Seriously, PointlessGizmo, the last sentence just nailed it. This is brilliant and I'd really like to see more stories from you.

That prick of a paper clip has tortured me ever we finally started using computers at my old school. BURN IN HELL, DEMON SPAWN :flutterrage:

I want to see that clip revise this fic. Why is fic underlined?:derpyderp1:


That GIF is delicious! :moustache:

If nothing else, I'd like to think this story is proof that you can cross ponies with just about anything...

I read the discription and couldn't stop laughing. Ive probably read a hundred comedic/random fics, but this one takes the metaphorical cake. So, you get to have my first favorited fic (because I was lazy before, and this really deserves it!):pinkiehappy:
(Sorry about the grammar, I'm on my Kindle Fire.):derpytongue2:


Well, after giving the story a bit of spit-n-polish to try for an EqD submission (what the hay, why not?), I've now added an instance of Clippit's annoying bicycle transformation! :pinkiehappy:

Clippy was killed back in 2004 (Tombstone's at 30 seconds)


Alas, he got resurrected in 2012 in Microsoft's game/promo thingy Ribbon Hero 2 - Clippy's Second Chance. http://www.ribbonhero.com/

Seems nothing can keep him dead! :pinkiegasp:

That damn paperclip managed to mess up my bench marks when I was younger. It is annoying to know that I could've gotten better scores on my Bench Marks without that paperclip.

Hell is to good for it. However, I'm pretty sure I could find a few *ahem* completely ethical totaly not torcher based devices *ahem* that would do just fine for the anoying little waste of time.

Good luck with that, hope it get's through!
(It is going to be so weird to have read a fic before it was posted on EQD.)


Heh... I'm afraid you won't have read a fic before it's on EqD, cos it ain't going on there. :rainbowlaugh: I mean they were nice about it, but in the end they wanted too much changing that I wasn't willing to alter. So we just ended up agreeing that I'm not the sort of author they're looking for and moving on. :twilightsmile:

889450 And the Dash/Kitchen Sink ship-fic wasn't?

Oh :pinkiehappy:god :twilightblush:can't :twilightsheepish:stop:pinkiehappy:LAUGHING :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

....Paperclip. DIE!!!!!!:flutterrage::twilightangry2::flutterrage: SUFFOCATE ON THE MOON YOU UNHELPFUL THING!!!

Damn, that kinda sucks. Oh well, if a story is good enough, I guess it doesn't really need EQD to catch on. And by all means, this story is probably the best crossover I've ever read, it will definitely catch on!

I SERIOUSLY hate that Clippit, but he was kinda funny. as for this fic in it's entirety...ROFL :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:


I wasn't expecting anything to come of it, really. I know my storytelling style isn't the greatest, which is why I compensate for it with off-beat ideas. :rainbowlaugh: I HAVE taken some of their advice on board, however, and made some adjustments.

You just know that irritating tail-wagging little twerp from Windows XP Search would never make it as a Pound Puppy.

I think we can safely declare this Second Weirdest Crossover Ever. (The first, I fear, is waiting in the wings.)


If it's not too much trouble, can you tell us what they wanted you to change?

As for the fic itself, I thought it was pretty hilarious. Although, I don't know why Twilight was so worked up about the dictionary. After all, she only has to press the undo button. :trixieshiftright:

Actually, now that it's on the moon, won't it recognize that the moon isn't orbiting correctly (what with it being controlled and all)? I wonder how strong its auto correct feature is...

"Hey! It seems you're not orbiting correctly, and neither is the sun. Let me just correct that for you!"


Well, there was some grammar bits and pieces, which is fine.

They also said Twilight was hideously OOC though, and I admit I wrote her as a grumpy slave-driver type who casually mistreated her assistants for no good reason. Largely because slave-driver Twilight is funny to me. :rainbowlaugh:

But, I did eventually concede that I'd given no real explanation for her change in character and decided to emphasize the stress she was under as being the cause. :twilightsmile:

Oh, and Owlowicious initially had a speaking role - his "Who?" response wasn't an owl noise, he was just a severe amnesiac who couldn't remember who anybody was. They weren't fond of that either, and looking back nor was I. So that got cut as well. :rainbowwild:

Lastly, storytelling was too flat. This is where I dug my heels in a bit - it's just how I write, and I make no apologies for it. I prefer to let the reader imagine the scene for themselves, I just give them the basics to do it. I'm not a fan of fics that take so long to describe something, you've actually died of old age by the time you finish the first sentence.

All that said, I'm not going to be hating on EqD or anything like that. I don't envy the prereaders' jobs whatsoever, and I appreciate the immense amount of work that goes into the site. They've got an idea what they like, and my style doesn't fit it. There really isn't anything more sinister than that to it.


Oh, that's right. I forgot you mentioned that you had changed some things before you put the story up.


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