• Member Since 29th Aug, 2016
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Comments ( 360 )

Lovely start so far and I didn't spot any errors whatsoever, great writing too. I'll definitely keep track of this.

Can I have the link to the image of this story please?

Does May suffer from depression? because that is an interest concept, he love at least one of them but see himself as a monster so he doesn't try anything.
Also does this mean that he not only has a really big scar on his left side of the face but in fact all of his body is cover in very nasty and big scars?

Comment posted by SilentKnight deleted May 19th, 2017

8173955 bby, linking NSFW images is against site rules

PM that shit

Very interesting concept, I love reading HiE fics, but every one of them is "Human arrives and immediately takes up job working for Applejack" it seems. I'm glad that this Human is "working" on stuff he's had a job in (at least from what I gathered from the summary).

before running her fingers frantically through her ethereal mane.

And the ponies are anthro too? Alright, this'll be good.
Straight outta the gate, and I notice you may need an editor. Get yourself a good one (if required), it'll up the enjoyment of everyone, trust me.

You see with the Running

*You see, with (add the comma)

This bureaucratic bull shit is killing me

Un-italicize this part and put it in single quotes, like this: 'this bureaucratic *bullshit is killing me'

From afar he appeared

*afar, he appeared (comma)

But upon closer scrutiny Matthias’ coat turned

*scrutiny, Matthias' (comma)

*snort* oh come on May was Lord Nimbus’

*May, was Lord (comma)

somewhat impressive *bang* which would have

**bang*, which would (comma)

“AS MUCH as I appreciate your candidness with me May,” indeed, nopony besides her sister or niece would ever think to be this informal with her, Twilight put up a valiant effort but some habits were just too hard to break.

This sentence is just so run on...
*"AS MUCH as I appreciate your candidness with me May," and indeed, nopony besides her sister or neice would ever think to be this informal with here, though Twilight put up a valiant effort. (Some grammar, and you can take out the last part of the sentence, it's very repetitive)

More edits to potentiality come as I read.
There were a few more that I didn't write down. My b.

I'm hooked.

Tit for tat is also a story about a three small sentient engines that are visited by clergy avatars of the author and his friend. The ending has one engine, Bert, acknowledging that they're in books. The televised version does the same, only going further by acknowledging the television series, lampshading by the narrator, and Bert winking at the camera.

Definitely getting a tracking for this one. Looks interesting.

Definitely need an editor though. While it didn't distract me too much, others may find it a bit unnerving.

“I'm sorry,” she tremulously whispered, hoping against hope that he could here her.

Should be hear.

Quite enjoying it so far. But i do have one question. Why the nickname may wouldn't mat be closer?

OH BOY, an anthro story with actually good writing.


This will be addressed next chapter

First story ever

Top notch thus far especially as it is your first story.

Fantastic work

A truley great fic so far, fallow it i shall.

I can definitely see the influence of Flammenverfer on this fic. You have captured his style (and love of longish chapters) quite well. Have a like and a fave from me. Just don't burn yourself out. A first fic can prove to be a daunting task.

8175058 Found a mistake
Where does she get her mannies?

Comment posted by SilentKnight deleted May 19th, 2017

Thanks for looking out for me. Mannies is an informal plural form of manicure used around where I live.

I normally wouldn't read a story with an anthro tag, but I took a gamble with this one and holy shit did it pay off. You have an incredible talent for the art of creating believable character interaction, and your writing skill far surpasses my own. I eagerly await your next update. :trollestia:

A great story and even greater introduction, if this is the quality you will have thru all of the other chapters and the length aswell you will go a long way and this story might just be your ticket to the top stories of this site, or maybe just HIE section but still would be a great accomplishment

The artist name for this is DimWitDog.

Your welcome if you dont read the discription

Wow. I can only guess what happened when Matthias first arrived but I hope to read for certain how he got into this condition. As well as how he reacts once he wakes up.

Once upon a time there was a man who came from under the ground. He was lost, scared, and had no idea how to get home. But fortunately for him he was not alone. The princesses of Equestria found him, pulled him from the darkness, and offered him gifts he would always treasure. The first, bright like the sun, gave him a home and the comfort to chase away his loss. The second, gentle as the night, offered him companionship and a purpose for his new life. And the third, shining like the stars, offered him knowledge of the new world he found himself in and a passion he thought lost. But the man felt unworthy of such gifts, unable to see why such beings would bother with a creature such as himself. So he swore upon all that he held dear, upon the world he was torn from, upon the friends and family he would never see again, that he would do everything in his power to make these beautiful beings smile.

And then the f:yay:cked. A lot. We're talking levels achieved by rabbits and the average weekend of Ben Franklin. And everywhere. A lot. Several maids quit in tears and many a guard blushed. And many a noble bitched. A lot. Then luna and Matthias showed up in their dreams. To f:yay:ck there. A lot. Nobles no longer bitched.

Silliness aside mate, I'm not gonna read this. Anthro annoys, and clop repels and cringes me to my core, but I wanted to say congrats. First story and making the box already! Kudos

loving this so far, can't wait for the next chapter!!

WHAT THE FUCK... How... how?... I Swear there were two chapters- OH GOD... I'M SEEING THINGS.

I'm DEAD curious now, what the heck did Celestia do?! :rainbowderp:

Welcome one and all to my first fic ever!


*checks to validate information, only to find that it's true*


If this REALLY is your first story, and by some stroke of luck you made it to the tippy-top of the featured box, then it's clear to me that...

Instant fav, follow, and like!

......awesome can't wait for the next chapters.

Celestia Solaire,

Looks like Solaire finely found his sun.

Great beginning! It's got me hooked.

8173689 You probably already have this, but giving the magic number 1198036 to derpibooru will lead you to the cover image. There are also variants with *cough* extra bits, which I doubt we'll be lucky enough to find in the story. :derpytongue2:

Seriously, this is well done for a first story. I can tell you are either incredibly patient when it comes to editing... or just that damn good.

8177170 I'm less inclined to think it's odd, mostly because my first story occasionally plants itself in the number eight spot when I update it. It doesn't stay any longer than an hour or two, but yeah.

fuck me. fantastic first chapter. also ima ship it. also have a like and fave

The promise of clop does not keep my attention. It's the great relationship building here and the mystery!

This reminds me of the great unfinished story, Taking Turns, where it was a clop story but the wonderful experiences provided before hand made the story really enjoyable!

More please!

I love that story too! I found the dynamic between the reader insert character and the main six believable and engaging and am hoping to bring that to my story.

Alright, let's see where this goes! (Commences read)

If this is indeed your first story, you're off to one great start! Missing a few commas here and there but still, congrats on making the feature box!

8179318 Your off to a great start. It makes me sad though knowing we will never get an Applejack Episode.

Still I will settle for Luna here.

ok so just the first chapter is very captivating and makes me want to read more and that alone makes me think that you atleast wrote one story somewhere on the internet or real life. That said I want to see this grow and look forward to reading more from you. (please write faster)

What kind of a update schedule can we look forward to, if there is one?

I liked and faved off the description for this alone, but that's a hell of a good! start looking forward to seeing how this goes!

*looks at the slowly growing list of In-Progress works both on the Read and Write tabs of her planner*

Ah, horseapples.

*adds to the Read list*

Ya got my attention, sugar cube. Well done first story. Put's mine to shame.

Very impressive, where did you learn to describe a scene like that? It really makes things come to life, and that wonderful bit of intrigue at the end is a masterfully crafted story hook. I'm actually a bit jealous of your obvious writing talent, but hopefully with a bit of effort I too will one day be able to compose a piece of somewhere near the same exquisite quality. In the meantime I shall take joy in learning from your shining example.

First you make us love the guy (not to mention your interpretation of Celestia), then you flash back to the painful memories and leave us in suspense! :twilightangry2: Very crafty. :raritywink: Needless to say I'm bouncing in my chair in anticipation of the next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

The anatomy has me puzzled a little, though:

So there she lay, one hand caressing her cheek while the other made its way just beneath her breasts

.... to her belly button? :duck:

With THAT cover art there is nothing bound to go wrong! :trollestia:

Nice. From the way you described his scars, you made it seem like he had been sprayed with strong acid. Probably from a lab accident, I had assumed.

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