• Member Since 5th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Israel Yabuki


Canon x OC, that's my specialty, both in art and in MLP stories

Sequels1

Comments ( 45 )

So.. fast.. wait.. I can't catch up, slow down pacing!

Alright look, I must ask

what the fuck is this story structure???? and the pacing???? Slow. The fuck. Down.

Slight Impregnation

?

Will the baby be just a toe?

8099569
That was actually what I was thinking.
Maybe a finger or a kidney or something.

8099801 Awww, look at that, the baby has my renal cortex.

I have an idea title for a next story with Rarity

The gem of my heart

Ok...it's not the worst one shot I've ever read, can't say it's a good one though.

I know others have already pointed it out, but you need to work on your pacing. This could have been great, you just need to learn to slow things down a bit. Flesh out the relationship between the characters and don't just have a bond suddenly form between them.

Spelling seems ok, can't say anything for the grammar since I suck at spotting mistakes for that.

Again, slow things down, there's no rush with anything, just take your time with stuff and make sure the pacing is at the very least decent. It's very hard to read and a lot of the time I'm left scratching my head trying to figure out what's happening.

slight impregnation

Um ... what? How can an impregnation be slight? It's either there or not.

I'm sure Applejack doesn't say 'partner' so much.

8104720 I guess I should've added "Sugarcube."

8104869 Mixed it up a bit, sure. Overall though the characterisation was good, just a teeny bit quick, but others have said that.

Fun fact, spraying yourself with water doesn't provide any thermal protection from a fire. There's also a good chance of getting steam burns, and end up cooked like a lobster.

8107404 It was suppose to delay the fire from burning him alive, but hey, can't blame a guy for trying.

8099947 I'm sure you've realized that The Gem of My Heart is ready for you to read.

Can you do Fluttershy next after Rarity

8130232 Alright, then after that, I'll work on Rainbow Dash next

You get hit by a car while saving a kid you get 2 choices one go to equestria or be come a spirit detective. This guy chose the getting laid path

8346291
you recognized the Yu Yu Hakusho reference, huh? Good eye

Definate step up from the previous one, nice job.

I am the 100th like! Muahahahahaha!!

8446246
Hey, I know you, you're the writer who made those "Equestria Girls Reunited" clopfics. I loved how you put so much detail into them

8446471Why thank you! Love your series! (Hands out a six pack) Have a drink! :pinkiehappy:

Uh AJ you realize I'm not interested on you.

"Awww, do ya have to?" Apple Bloom gives you the adorable pouty pace. Applejack recognized that face. It was the same one she gave Twilight when she first came to Ponyville.

The type of cuteness that can qualify as weapons-grade...

"Ya know, Ah wonder how the others'll react to us gettin' engaged." AJ says.

"My guess is they might feel both happy and surprised. I just hope Big Mac doesn't get mad at me." you reply, holding AJ close to you in a warm and loving embrace.

"Ah ain't mad." said Big Mac's voice. Your eyes shot up when you saw Big Mac in his black tank top and black sweats, leaning against the open barn doorway with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"You heard us, didn't you?" you asked.

"Eeyup. Ah think it's about time mah sister found herself a special somepony. Ah look forward to the weddin' day." Big Mac gave you and AJ a simple wave as he headed back inside the house.

And something that made me laugh out loud!

How does the sister 8 years and dies at 6 years old that doesn’t make any sense

Wait nvm I read it wrong my bad

So beautiful I love it so much.

9089365
It's all thanks to NineTailBeastBall for helping me out. You should check out his story, it's really good

9089408
Will do. Also I read your stories on Wattapad from Carlo and I loved them.

Oh sweet, the rewrite is finally done. Funny really. I was just wondering this morning when you'd update anything.

Great ending can’t wait my beloved Rarity’s story to be remastered

Another fantastic ending my friend.

9117049
Thank you very much. And you should check out NineTailBeastBall's fimfiction, too. He helped me out with the story big time

Applejack has always been my favorite

It's tricky to see how the oc's family has fell apart ever since his little sister die, that's messed up

AppleJack do know how to deal with strangers/thieves even she doesn't know his curious intention, one thing I know is that if it wasn't for AppleBloom, it'll go down the bad way. At lease they make up for that.

for what i can see is that he is taking in pretty well

AppleJack is Known to be honest and very hard working pony in ponyville. Of course when I read their conversation, it is clear that no matter how hard they work, the apple family value more than anything they have reap as well as their big family across Equestria. That, I can respect that in honesty.

a happy ending for those two, not only Bucky earn the love from AppleJack, he earn a new loven family.

Nice work you two👍

Boy life is cruel for this poor guy.

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