- Member Since 5th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen 42 minutes ago
Israel Yabuki
Canon x OC, that's my specialty, both in art and in MLP stories
Israel Yabuki
Joined 5th Oct, 2016 ·
Offline
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Israel Yabuki · 14k words · 229 18 · 12k views
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This is good!!
Poor guy, I hope he will feel better with Trixie around...
Yes, in general the Sci-fi genre is used in context with psionic abilities. I hope that helps.
8653595
Cool, thanks for pointing that out.
8653606
No problem. Also the term Psychokinesis often refers to a list of effects that the person can use. So there is that to consider as well.
Great start!
**DUDE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS PARTICULAR PONY ROMANCE**
This is getting interesting.
Why the does this reminds me of Strangers Things
8654050
never heard of that.
Bro Stranger Things is one the best shows on Netflix the reader in this is like Eleven I'm not spoil it for you. You have to watch it for yourself I'm not forcing to watch it but in my opinion it's one the best show on Netflix.
At least you ain't doing the whole five chapters later thing of "oh he's a super soldier and/or has super powers that didn't appear till later because of reasons. " I'll read this because of that so good job I'll stay along... For meow.
OMG this is super intense I love it I feel like it’s gonna take it up a notch.
In my wattpad account in wattpad in my Female Characters x Male reader (lemon) 18 I wrote a story Applejack's mom Pear Butter/Buttercup if you want to check it out
8658162
Can you send me a link to that?
Not gonna lie, I checked this story about 2 minutes ago to see if it updated. Then right when I leave, it does. Talk about timing
8669787
Eeyup
That was very emotional. I really love it.
So Emotional. I had tears in my eyes. Also, i love Nala.
8669811
8669829
I'm glad you liked it.
8670050
Great!!! WHat about the CHangling story? Anything new for it coming soon?
8670057
working on it
8670214
Great!!
Loving it!
Out standing i like how you named to manticore after a character from the Lion King
8670543
The Lion King was my most favorite Disney movie when I was a kid
Mine too
It was my favorite too. I watched it with my dad all the time when I was little.
How about the next fic include Princess Skystar, or all the couples and their families go on a group vacation?
And another one done. Any plans on who's next?
Once again, excellent work, Israel.
8703451
Dragon Lord Ember is next
8703452
thank you very much
8703455
Ooo. Interesting
Very nice ending!
8703455
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! So much hype! It sounds like it’s gonna be an amazing story yet again produced by you.
So glad the chapter is up! Loved it.
Great job as always after Ember who's next?
8706432
hmm, I see. Thanks for pointing that out
I would like to give a friendly advice, the next time you give the MC(male character) a nickname, let them have it some time during the bonding process or even at the start with their love interest, and not at the very end of the story.
I mean come on they were together for months and only now does she decide to give a nickname? its a trap you've fallen into multiple times and i wish i'd pointed it out sooner.
Overall its a nice addition to the series.
Is that a Madonna reference?
8713207
Madonna? Is that a show or a movie?
8713695
I thought you were referencing the song "Lucky Star" By Madonna, who was a popular pop singer in the 80" s.
8714227
no, Lucky Star was a reference to the anime show Lucky Star
8714843
Funny anime.
You a sly cooper fan?
8750059
I didn't know I added a Sly Cooper reference here, but yes, I love Sly Cooper
I understand what your trying to do with the main character, but I stopped listening to the story shortly after purple smart is introduced.
You made the mistake of not making the main character likable in any way. You gave him no redeeming qualities up to that point and I found myself not caring in the least about the boy with Asperger syndrome.
Nothing against you, many young writers try to make angsty, snarky, emotionally screwed up characters. There is nothing wrong with this. but you have to also make the character likable. Perfect example of what I am talking about being done right is the story "If This Is Hell, I've Been A Good Boy by Greyson"
The Monk
8829068
Aspergers, huh? I didn't know I had given him that syndrome, considering I got diagnosed with Aspergers back when I was 7, and to be honest, I don't exactly talk about my own personal health problems because I don't like the idea of being showed pity because of it, so back on the subject of aspergers, my doctor told me that despite my condition, I'm highly functional, she even told me that her daughter has the same syndrome and to see that I can take care of myself despite my disability, she said I was a walking miracle.
Now on the subject of the story, I'll be sure to take this constructive critisism into consideration when I'm ready to post my next story
8829147
Again, I couldn't get past twilights entry into the story because of how the main characters portrayed, but, yes up until that point he comes across very much as Aspergers. In my opinion your a good writer, and I like several of your stories and have them recorded as audio books in my iTunes.
As for disabilities, there are several people on this site who like me are physically blind, so I don't think any less of you for your condition either. Your a good writer, you just , in my opinion messed up this main character, early on. Think about the great bad guys in film and in TV. Yes they may be bad, but we like them because they have some fun or great qualities. Its these likable qualities that make us want to secretly root for them.
Syndrome from "The Incredibles" Rumplestilskin from "Once upon a time" Discord from that one little girls kids show I can't remember the name of.
(Yes I know your character isn't a bad guy. But this is the easiest example to get my point across to you and anyother writers who may read this.)
The Monk
EDIT
I understand where you are coming from about pity. I have had conversations on this site where people are absolutely shocked that I have a full time job, and that I work in the IT industry. Just because Im blind doesn't mean I'm an invalid.