- Member Since 5th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
Israel Yabuki
Canon x OC, that's my specialty, both in art and in MLP stories
Israel Yabuki
Joined 5th Oct, 2016 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Israel Yabuki · 14k words · 244 20 · 14k views
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That's fine, you're stories are good enough that I rather read the story than the clop parts. I do wish you good luck on you newest story, I'll wait until it's complete, because your stories just feel better to read when they are completed. Have fun dude, and I can't wait until later chapters.
WHY CAN'T I HAVE GOOD WRITING SKILLS LIKE YOU DO ;-;
In all seriousness though I absolutely LOVE this so far, I hope to see more of it in the future, especially the story bits
Good Luck
-FullmoonFan
Excellent start but holy crap the beginning was depressing.
Who’s next after Rara?
8882207
I didn't exactly have this writing talent to begin with, it took some time and practice. I have faith that with some proper practice, I have full confidence that you can become a great writer, too. I'm glad you liked this chapter so far
8882177
thank you very much
8882218
My editor and I were thinking about doing Queen Novo next. He seems excited to write about her
Great start dude!
8882232
It just doesn't feel like I get any better at writing when I do write. It feels like anytime I write something it's absolutely crap. I do my best to add detail but I feel like it's too much, or very little. I can never find the balance between. I also cannot good verbs to add to like "Hey!" Apple Bloom shouted; as an example. It's tough
Alright amd thought it was princess skystar
8882653
When it comes to details in the story, you have a choice between you explaining the details of a character or a few characters and how they look, or even the details of a certain places in a town or city, and maybe certain conditions like how it feels around there and what's happening, and it's also important to whether or not have the characters you have in your story explain their's or someone else's backstory about what's been going on or what happened already.
8882987
I guess that's true.
Another problem is how should I explain the character's appearance? Should I say what they look like/what they are wearing or explain how they look through details like "The water flowed through his dark red hair."?
8882989
If you're just introducing the characters themselves, it's always necessary to explain what they look like and sometimes what they where, depending on whether they're a big part of the story. If they're either minor , I usually describe their appearence, minus the clothes they wore
I can only guess where you came up with the title for this story, because I did that too.
Can't wait to see the rest of it.
https://theloststoryteller32.deviantart.com/art/Bolt-Jr-Rainbow-Factory-740160947
8884073
Actually, the title of the story came from a certain line in the song "Always There" from Lady and the Tramp 2
8883272
Alright, I guess I'll do that then. If you want you can be a proofreader/editor of the story. If you decline that's perfectly fine.
What you think of Bolt Jr
8885291
it's pretty good
8885182
I accept your offer
8884347
Now that I didn't know.
Thanks
(I believe the word you're looking for is "sole.")
Umm... Was there supposed to be more to that last sentence? It kind of got cut off abruptly.
8888473
my bad
You should have him sing "perfect" by ed sheeran to rara. I think it fits well with the story
8888515
I chose "Always There" because the song was a quartet in the movie, so I wanted it to match the quarted the OC was in with Rara, Fortis and Fleur, so I apologize if I didn't use that song.
8888535
Its alright. I should rephrase what i said. You should use "perfect" by ef sheeran as a way for the main character to show his feelings to coloratura.
8888539
Either that or Galway Girl, I've come to really like that song
Thank you so much for this second chapter :) And thanks for looking at my story, means a lot. Good luck with the rest of the chapters!
Cute chapter, bro! I look forward to the name that the main character of this story is going to get!
Excellent as always my friend
I wonder who is Next also another great story in your series
Awesome as always bro
https://theloststoryteller32.deviantart.com/art/Raging-Halberd-742444444?ga_submit_new=10%3A1524891435
Nice! The boob massage was a very nice and sexy touch!
8892354
I came up with the massage idea, but NineTailBeastBall came up with the boob massage. He's a GENIUS
8892700
Nice, dude!
Such beautiful stories of you
8942784
thank you
who's next after your next story maybe songbird serenade, photo finish, or sapphire shores
8972906
Actually, I'm gonna move onto either Daring Do or Gilda
8972947
check your pm for my response i don't want to spoil the plot of the next story for those who haven't read this story
I think that if he played "this is gospel" for the singing competition, applejack would have been crying.
9021132
Also good job as always, but make sure to grammar check when you can.
WAIT?! Did Granny Smith Died?
9034997
in this story, she did
Darth Vader voice: NOOOOOOOOO!
Dayum
remind me not to piss her off.
Man, I can picture it now I wonder if I should get a kiss from her after this.