• Member Since 17th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Orbiting Kettle


I've roasted a wealth of exotic things, All torn to ribbons at the hands of kings. Polished copper how I proudly shone, stealin' the fire of the blazing sun.

E

Luna's life had been a long and fulfilling one. She had cherished to good and weathered the bad. She had basked in triumph and submitted to defeat.

There had also been a choice she and her sister had made long ago. It had been something dictated by necessity and done for the good of everypony. It had been a painful choice, both for them and for somepony else they hold dear.

With the last sand in her hourglass drizzling down, Luna becomes aware that the time has come for an apology, for forgiveness, or at least, for closure

Thanks to Filler, MonoKeras and Fenton for the pre-reading and editing.

Now with Dramatic Reading by the awesome Razor Reviews

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 44 )

Straight away, I must nitpick: in the description, it reads "trimpuh" instead of "triumph".

Having said that, I'll now read the story and comment on it later. :twistnerd:

7980604
Well, that was embarrassing:twilightblush:

Thanks for pointing it out.:heart:

You should add this to the twiLuna. It's not a romantic one but they have a folder for it.
You don't have to if you wish not. Neat story though. And interesting future. I like it. ^_*

7980751
I'm glad you liked it, and I shall follow your suggestion regarding the group. Thanks:twilightsmile:

7980775 always happy to help ^_*

Really enjoyed this one. It carries a lot in a succinct package. Nice job.

Interesting but a bit short.

This was interesting. I have to agree with 7982121 , though--it feels a little short. I'd have loved to have had a slightly more in-depth explanation of what happened to Twilight, for example. Thank you for sharing.

Nice story but the ending feels very abrupt. Could be just me though.

ahh the ambiguity of prophecy. Equestria didn't "die" in some disaster or some war, it dissolved as the new global order took over. It's kind of how it is, you prepare for what you expect but then destiny weasels it's way around and fulfills the prophecy how you least expect.
I still argue that the Nightmare moon prophecy came absolutely to pass in cannon. The one who escaped was Luna, the stars which aided here where the elements of harmony, and "she shall bring about night time eternal" is either Luna will bring about nighttime and is eternal, or when it's day on one side of the world it's night elsewhere night doesn't end(being eternal) it just moves locations. Twilight didn't stop the prophecy she fulfilled it.
That is why prophecies are effectively useless, what they meant isn't clear until after they come to pass.

This is a nice little story, mind if I make a reading of it?

7981571
Thank you!

7982121
7982352
7982544
This story was born out of a Write-off entry 750 words long, which tries to communicate a single idea.

This is not to say that you are wrong, but it's an explanation for the format.

I seriously considered to make it is longer story, something maybe delving in what happened and how to current society works, but I am enamoured with the short-story format and kept it as essential as possible.

I admit this is a limit I should overcome.:twilightblush:

Thank you for th comments, and I'm glad you liked what was there well enough a to want to know more.:pinkiehappy:

7982506
7982674
Prophecies are tricky. There's an art in keeping them vague enough so that they always are right. And even if they were precise you can fix them and add ambiguity through through translation and poetical waxing.

7982682
I don't mind at all. On the contrary, I would b delighted.

Succinct and well written. This could be longer, but I think it would lose something in the process. Kudos.

This was quite good - the setting is immediately presented as alien and unknowable enough to make the reader sit up and take notice, and the ambiguity works in the story's favor.

Did the prophecy indeed come true? Was the Old Equestria "dying" what it talked about, with Twilight taking charge during this fated transition time, and she's now ruling over the "ruins" of what once was?

Or did 'Fate' have actual destruction in mind for Equestria, but Twilight managed to kick it in the curb, prove that it's possible to forge your own path and drag it kicking and screaming into a new and better future despite the expectation of those who believed in Fate and prophecies?

I suppose we will never know, because all we have are two ponies with different viewpoint on the matter.

That said, it did feel like the story was a bit too dense on the details and leaves one too many question unanswered. Why is Luna's "life support" such a seemingly bizarre contraption, instead of something more wieldy? What's this Celestial Control Center and why does Twilight think Luna give a hoot about what they think? (though I guess she's simply irritated about having been disturbed). What happened to put Twilight on such sour terms with Luna and Celestia, considering all the hoops she hasn't minded jumping through in the show? Why did the elder alicorns fade away? (Some of those can be guessed at going by what was actually said, but that's still guessing half blind with no way to verify).

I did like the story for what it was, but I must admit I find myself more interested in the backstory of this world and how everything got to be the way it is than what the story actually talked about :rainbowderp:
Any chance or plans that you might expand on it ?

7982891 Some settings do explain why prophecy is so unreliable. Some times prophets aren't allowed to be specific because are fixed points and can't be changed, other times it so that free will can't derail the prophecy.

7983096
I'm glad you liked it. And thank you for the compliments.

7983325
I don't have currently any plans for expanding this. I have a pretty clear idea about the how and why of the setting, but aside from that not much else. If I'm struck by inspiration I could do something, but no promises.

I'm also starting to think that I should publish settings more than stories:rainbowlaugh:

7983418
Heh, that's the problem there. You can't really prove that the prophecies worked and that they weren't self.fulfilling.

Well, at least you can't when you don't have The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, witch

7983722

I'm also starting to think that I should publish settings more than stories:rainbowlaugh:

I certainly wouldn't mind reading the background fluff for this one :derpytongue2:

7983742
I promised I would do something like that for another three of my stories. I never delivered. Now I'm wiser and won't do promises I can't keep, but I may try.

Go Twilight, you tell 'em.

Every end is a beginning, every beginning is an end.

Nice story, good work.:twilightsmile:

7984626
Fate? I'll show Fate!:twilightangry2:

7984773
Thank you:heart:

7984867
Twilight "Mother-bucking" Sparkle, kicking Fate in the teeth and taking it's lunch money since the year 1000.

7985720
Does she? Does she really? Because it sure looks like Twilight was fated to oversee the end of the world as it was known. All that she really had control over was how she reacted to this fact.

I suppose it could be argued that, since she refused to accept that the Apocalypse was unavoidable, she took steps to ensure it wouldn't come and that's what resulted in the incredible world she now lives in.

Or maybe the Apocalypse just hasn't arrived yet, and even greater horrors are out there in the stars.





Personally, I choose to believe that the world is great because Twilight inspired others to make it great.

7986612
And that's what I believe as well. Though I would argue that we all make our own fate. Prophecies, by their very nature, are often vague and uncertain. They are traps designed to give you tunnel vision, but Twilight refused to play their game, she refused to be the Princess of a dead nation. She became a true ruler, juxtapose that with Luna and Celestia's meek acceptance of their ultimate fate, and you realize why Twilight is so frustrated with them.

EDIT: Oddly enough, there was actually a Friendship Lesson directly applicable to this point; It's About Time.

7985720
7986810
I love this discussion but feel that any contribution on my part would be telling and sabotage the ambiguity:twilightblush:

Pretty interesting and with some concisely constructed drama, and it contains enough detail to piece things together. So ultimately, I'm giving it a like at least.

But I'm definitely on the bandwagon here; this demands some historical expansion and world-building. So many questions about Twilight's latest centuries and her manipulation at the hooves of Luna and Celestia, and yet the fic deals with them in a broad, abstract way at best, which limits the emotional impact in a way that, say, A Good Filly doesn't.

Feels like a good narrative seed rather than a fully grown narrative plant. Still, I suppose it's better to be left wanting more than to be left wanting relief from fatigue.

7993900
Hmmm, I#m starting to think about how to implement it in a fun and interesting way.

Peer-pressure is a terrible thing:applecry:

7994381

Write, write, write, write! :flutterrage:

Nah, I'm just messing with you. It's a good short story, no worries about that. :raritywink: And you shouldn't feel obliged to do anything. We're here to appreciate your art, not to make the monkey dance. :scootangel: We're all s'phisticated conny-sewers here. :ajsmug:

7994989
I know, don't worry.

It's simply that I'm so Damn easy to influence and now the seed of the idea (which is good) is there:twilightblush:

Not sure when it shall blossom, though. I'm working on a story that probably isn't a good idea at all and which I still want to bring in some form of publishable shape.

This is a pretty interesting story, but do you actually think Celestia and Luna would be short-sighted like that?

8519086
Well, with age one will get set in their ways, and both the prophecy and the princesses were not in their spring-time anymore. Old languages in Equestria had also quite a penchant for ambiguity.

8519476
Got it. Do you really think they'd be that manipulative?

8520902
These specific versions? Yes, even if they suffered through it. In other stories they may not have been. In my opinion, Luna and Celestia, as characters, allow a certain flexibility, and as long as one doesn't make them malicious (and even that can be allowed in some AUs) one has a lot of freedom with them.

There is also to consider that what we hear in this story is a recount of the events filtered through Twilight's bitterness. It's quite possible that not everything went exactly as told here.

More Fimfiction Story Reviews!

1:49 Princess of the Ruins by Orbiting Kettle https://www.fimfiction.net/story/364875/princess-of-the-ruins


Thank you for watching and have a great day!

8519476 I find a certain fault with that line of reasoning in that we are not dealing with mortals who endure the inevitable onset of dementia as the brain slowly degenerates with age. These are beings whose minds and bodies are preserved beyond our mortal understanding.

Age does not touch them; nor, do I posit, would their minds' capacity for adaptation. Always they would possess the plasticity to learn and grow, so long as hadn't deliberately chosen not to change themselves.

And too, I have known many young as stubbornly unwilling to leave the box they'd locked themselves into just as any old codger fixed in his ways.

Some may say that an old stone grows much moss, but I would counter that a weathered rock is easier to roll that a slab freshly split. In either case, people are not minerals.

Flexibility is a character trait, not something necessarily dependent upon age, save how aging affects the brain

9081806
Well, actually I use different headcanons for different stories. There are some stories where alicorns are immortals immune to corruption, and others where they age, albeit slowly. In this case, it's the latter.

I agree that age is not the sole factor in how much one is set in their ways, but habit is a powerful force for all of us, an here there were habits built for centuries.

9749123
Centuries are easy, change is hard.

"Fate," Twilight spat the word out and looked Luna in the eyes. "A word cowards use to feel good about losing the control of their lives. There is no fate. There are causes and consequences and what we do with them."

Goddamn that is a powerful line, I got actual chills when I read it. This thing? Right here? This is how you write a hard hitting short story.

9789904
Thank you! That was really high praise.

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