Mother Knows Best
Chapter 3
Eric shielded his eyes from the blinding-light as he took a step off the train and onto the platform. He was quite eager to see the city before him, being that the only place he had seen so far was the rural town of Ponyville. Lost in his thoughts and eagerness, the human suddenly lost his footing, as he had yet to realize the slight drop from the train to the platform. Luckily, he was able to catch himself with a few skips and a minimal amount of flailing, though at the cost of some of his dignity.
“You ok there?” Lilith asked in a tone laced with amusement, as the mare effortlessly stepped onto the platform with ease before venturing next to her new friend’s side. Eric responded with a simple nod of his head as he took in his surroundings.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Wasn’t expecting a drop so it caught me a little off guard,” he stated aloud before growing hesitant. “Hey Lilith, if you are a demon and this is where you live, then where is all of the brimstone, fire, and death?” Lilith stared incredulously at the human for a few moments, Eric catching the mare’s eyes with his own before she was brought to her knees in laughter.
“Y-you honestly believed that I lived in a place like that?” The mare questioned, unable to comprehend the silliness of the question. Eric’s cheeks flushed a light shade of red in embarrassment before giving her another nod.
“Well, yeah. It was one of the similarities between my world and Equestria. Demons lived in a place that resembled what many ponies call Tartarus. It’s a place filled with a sea of lava and innocent souls being tortured by demons. I guess I shouldn’t have assumed that. Looking back now, it does seem a bit silly for a mare like you to live in a place like that.” It took a minute or so, but Lilith soon regained control of her giggling sides.
“Next thing you know, you are going to say you thought I was a thousand years-old or something,” Lilith added playfully while nudging her friend in the side with her flank. Turning her attention back to the human, the mare noticed the hesitation and darker blush on her friend’s face. The next thing Eric knew, Lilith was on the ground quite literally rolling around as she laughed.
“Y-you did! I can’t believe it!” The mare continued her onslaught of ROFLing as Eric scoffed at the childish mare.
“Not my fault I was raised believing demons were blood-thirsty creatures from the pits of Hell itself. Just goes to show you that you can’t trust something without seeing it for yourself,” Eric added as he began to walk away. Pulling herself up from the ground, Lilith quickly joined the human while trying to stifle a few giggles every now and again.
The two friends had made their way around the city for a good twenty minutes. Not much was said between the two, as Lilith allowed her new friend time to take in all of the sights around him. The silence, while awkward at first, was very welcoming as Lilith watched the joyful expressions of the human change with the different areas of the city.
The first thing Eric noticed about the city, was that it was situated on an island surrounded by crystal red water. At first, Eric assumed the water was actually blood from all of the creatures that had lost their souls one way or another. Lilith was quick to correct him on the matter, stating that while the water was red in color, it was still the same as any other ocean. This clarification helped relieve some of the worries of the human, who also made a mental note to check out the beach sometime to further validate this piece of information.
The next thing to catch the human’s eye was the architecture of the city itself. It was quite different than the small and rural town of Ponyville. Shops and small businesses lined most of the inner area of the city, which is presumably where most of the citizens did their shopping. Eric was also pleasantly surprised that the city had a massive arcade built just a few years ago for a lot of the younger population. Though not as heavily invested in videogames as he used to be, Eric was most likely going to be spending some time there for ‘Scientific Purposes.’
“Hey Lilith, I have another question. If all of you are demons, then why do you all look like the ponies in Equestria? You know, instead of like a griffon or something.” Eric questioned, noticing that many of the citizens could pass for a normal, run-of-the-mill equine.
“And who is to say that we look like Equestrians? Maybe it’s the Equestrians that look like us?” The mare countered. Eric was about to comment about his new friend’s response, though stopped himself as he thought more about it. It was true that he just assumed she looked Equestrian based solely upon the fact that he had seen an Equestrian first. Maybe the Equestrians did take after the demons, and were just some faded out and diluted form of an earlier bloodline of demons, though Eric couldn’t be sure.
“You know what I mean. Why do you all look so similar? If it wasn’t for the fact that I already knew where I was, I would have just assumed I was in a new city in Equestria.” Lilith playfully giggled as a response.
“I was just messing with you Eric. And to be honest, I understand where you are coming from. I don’t really remember it all too well, since it has been a few years since my school days, though I believe it happened some couple thousand years ago.” Lilith soon trailed off as she tried to remember any more details on the matter. “From what I can recall, something major happened during that time which caused a rift between the demons and soulful. It might have been the practice of harvesting souls. I honestly don’t remember exactly what it was that caused this rift, though because of it, our leader decided it would be best to separate the two worlds from one another,” Lilith finished. Eric soon grew silent again as he mused over the answers and more importantly, the questions he had been given.
“Interesting. I guess if I want to learn more, I will have to ask somebody with a little more knowledge about the subject,” Eric stated with a sigh. Lilith’s smile soon grew into a frown as she lightly prodded the human’s side with a hoof in mock annoyance.
“Hey, I’m a twenty-three year-old mare who hasn’t been in school for years. I’m not some all-powerful all-mighty demon with the wisdom and knowledge of the ancients. Cut me some slack here,” Lilith retorted. It was now Eric’s turn to lightly bump the mare’s side with a smile.
“Don’t take it personally Lilith. I was just saying that I kind of want to look into it. I am rather curious as to why an entire population of ponies decided it would be a good idea to seal themselves away from the rest of the world.” Before Lilith had a chance to add another snarky remark, the two came to a stop in front of a small shop.
“Well, here we are. Home sweet home,” the mare pointed out, watching as Eric took in the full view of the building.
“It looks a little small,” the human commented as Lilith rolled her eyes.
“I prefer the term, homely. Now come on, there’s somepony I want you to meet,” Lilith added before walking through the front door of the building, a small little bell jingling as the two made their way inside. Looking around the store, Eric noticed that the feeling was very similar to a mom-and-pop shop back on Earth. As assortment of commonly used items and foods littered the shelves and racks. Walking towards the back of the store, Lilith looked around before noticing the pony in question was missing.
“Where did that mare go?” Lilith mumbled to herself, stepping into the back storage area as she rummaged around in search of her mother. Eric however, had been taking his time looking around the store, admiring the little odds and ends that caught his eye. It wasn’t until a small tap on the human’s leg brought the man from his thoughts and towards an older mare.
“Excuse me young stallion, but could you help a mare reach something on the top shelf,” she politely asked. Looking around the store, Eric soon noticed that Lilith had disappeared and nopony else seemed to be working the sales floor.
“I would be more than happy to help,” the human replied, giving the older mare his best smile.
“Mom! Where the hay are you?” Lilith called out through the back of the storage area in the store. The young mare was momentarily startled as another mare stepped out behind her.
“I’m right here sweetie. Did you have a fun day at work?” Lilith jumped at the sound of her mother’s voice from behind as she turned around with a small glare.
“How many times have I told you not to scare me like that mom? One of these days It’s going to get you hurt on accident,” Lilith added with mock annoyance. The mare in question just beamed her usual smile with a light giggle.
“What can I say? You are just like your father. You scare so easily.” Lilith could only roll her eyes with a small blush and scoff as she leaned forward and nuzzled her mother’s cheek.
“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, there’s someone I want you to meet.”
“Oh really? Is this perhaps a coltfriend?” Lilith could only groan in annoyance from her mother’s question.
“Mom, I don’t have a coltfriend,” the mare deadpanned.
“Well you best get on that sweetie. I’m not getting any younger and I need grandfoals to spoil.” Lilith could only facehoof as a response, before walking past her mother.
“Just come out and meet him.” The mare could only giggle again as she followed her daughter out from the back of the store and into a sight that surprised her. A large, bipedal creature was happily conversing with one of her regular customers as he used his height to reach anything she was unable. This lasted for only about a minute longer before the elder mare and human made their way to the checkout.
“Talia my dear, how have you been?” The elder mare questioned as she received a small smile from the storeowner.
“I am doing quite well actually. It seems you brought yourself a helper today,” Talia said with a small giggle.
“Actually, I thought he was one of your employees. Very helpful young stallion,” the elder mare stated as everypony turned their attention to the human who had just finished emptying the contents of the basket onto the counter before looking towards Talia.
“I’m actually one of Lilith’s friends. I take it you are her mother?” he asked with a polite tone. The mare nodded her head, giving the human a once-over before smiling ever so innocently.
“Yes I am. My name is Talia and it is a pleasure to meet you...?” the mare trailed off, waiting for the human to fill in the blank.
“Eric Lancer,” the human responded with an outstretched hand, as he gently shook the mare’s hoof.
“Oh, so polite. Are you sure he isn’t your coltfriend Lilith? I mean, you do need to find a nice stallion and start popping out some grandfoals for me,” Talia stated.
“Mom!” Lilith practically shouted, her face beat red with embarrassment. Eric was faring no better, as his pale cheeks were crimson red, earning a few giggles from both the elder mare and Lilith’s mother.
“Come on Eric, we’re going upstairs,” Lilith quickly said, yanking the human by his shirt with her magic as the two disappeared into the back room and up the stairs to the living quarters.
“Have fun you two. And don’t forget to not wear protection. I’m not getting any younger!” Talia happily yelled, earning her a loud slam of the door. Talia and the elder mare could only laugh at the response and flustered cheeks of the their victims.
I think things are going to be a little more interesting around here now. Talia thought with a devious smile.
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Yes. Good. I am groot. That is all.
Yay story I likey updatey!
You know, the whole demon thing is weird. If they're not Hell-spawned creatures of evil who just simply want souls only torment them from a simple desire of cruelty for cruelty's sake, what purpose does "harvesting" them serve? What happens to the consciousness of those beings whose souls are taken? Are they being cheated out of an afterlife? Are they put into eternal slavery?
And why would the ponies be so xenophobic? They're skittish, sure, but I've never seen anything in canon that indicates such a disdain or outright paranoia to fear and hate beings based only on their differences. Usually it's stuff that's scary because of their power and hostile attitude (e.g. dragons).
The story is interesting, but I'm not sure where it's going. For a moment I thought it'd be some kind of fascinating travelogue, with Lilith taking Eric around Equestria and beyond, really anywhere there's railroad tracks, seeing the world, interacting with the beings they meet, and perhaps seeing a change in turning away from the whole "steal souls" bit.
But meh. Won't downvote it, but as it stands seems rather flawed and a bit confusing.
7969362 The reason it seems so is because I haven't gotten around to doing any of the other chapters yet. I agree with you that as of right now, it is a bit confusing because there isn't all the information there. That is the problem with writing stories in parts and having to wait a while to get each chapter. But I will say that I have written everything, including characters, a certain way for a reason. There is a method to my madness.
I hate to sound cliche and all, but
Yay one of my fave stories updated!
I agree that the nature of 'demons' in this universe is confusing, but there's still plenty of time to explain things. I do like the idea of the travelogue, it definitely seemed like that's where the story was going. Regardless, it's still a fun read and I look forward to more.
7969285 And I am Verward.
The minute i read
Bow chicka bow wow
" Come on Eric, we’re going upstairs,”
Im like
7969941 That's what Lilith's mother was thinking too ;)
7969941
7969975
Even my own mind took a head first dive off into the gutter!!
Another wonderful chapter my friend, I loved reading it
I can't wait for the next part
No offense, but... for the length of these chapters, it shouldn't take this long to write them...
7971185 Honestly, it's not about the length really. I just don't have the motivation to write for certain stories. Right now my main focus is my other story. I just felt like updating this one to let people know it's not totally dead, though like I said in my blog, I am also a full time student in my final year of college. This amounts to exam after exam after exam as well as senior projects and networking. And I am a hard sciences major, so it's not like art classes or anything. It's lots of physics right now and material science since I am getting a minor in both before I graduate.
I'm not sure about the "demon" aspect of this fic but the ending of this chapter amused me very much.
Very enjoyable and I'm glad there is more after such a long wait, seems slightly different than the original, but I feel that's only because this chapter is a prelude of the actual story to take place in the city, I can't wait for some more chapters to come out
Argh damn it!
That was so good yet so short!!
Produce more of this addictive substance in text form posthaste!!
um Please?
Also, should you ever need an extra hoof or an editor then I shall aid you if I can.
Sooo... Next update? Is there a time you think you can do it or just do a chapter every few years?
I too echo the general sentiment. This story needs more Lilith.
more :3 ?
LOL
at the end there
When I saw what the city was looking like I instantly thought about the bath house in "Spirited Away"
Hope to see more soon
Need moar! Have read 5 times.
Need to see this one continued.
My god the amount of stories where the human gets outcasted and finds a friend despite the odds are so far and few (or maybe I'm not looking hard enough
) that's this is a breath of fresh air for me
More?
This story is great. I look forward to its next update. I hope school has gone well for you and that your not dead.
Dead story?
8572800
Not dead. Just need to finish my last semester of college before I write anything else. I have been swamped with projects and tests and getting everything ready to graduate, so I have like no free time at all.
8574884
Keeping that one in mind. (Also, no nasty horse f***ing).
8574884
I do hope that you continue this as soon as possible, im hooked!
Pls make more
Exactly a week before I can say this: img0.etsystatic.com/193/3/12445828/il_570xN.1223109464_7rt7.jpg
MOAR
please make more
Are you going to write again
please make more please make more please make more please make more please make more please make more please make more
More please
I can't help but read Lilith's voice as cozy glow's
8574884
Must be one hell of a semester.
10872660
That semester turned into a 6 year Army contract. So might be a bit still.
Need more
Been a long time since I’ve read this story, forgive me if I didn’t comment right a way, this is my favorite fic I’ve read so far, this needs to be continued.
See how the night sky glows
See the light from the night train
The fire glow from the night train
On down the line he blows...
Woooooo-oooooo!!!
On down the line he blows
All through the night he goes
Hear the sound of the night train
The chugga-chug-chugg of the night train
Hear how his whistle blows...
Woooooo-oooooo!!!
Hear how his whistle blows
Pulling, heaving, big engine breathing
Pistons pushing side by side
Driver checking, gauging, peering
Fireman stoking by his side
On down the line they go
Fast track for the mail train
Clear away for the post train
Non-stop all night they go...
Woooooo-oooooo!!!
Non-stop all night they go
See how the night sky glows
Clear ahead for the night train
Green light for the night train
On down the track he blows...
Woooooo-oooooo!!!
On down the track he blows
Dawn is breaking, sleepy town waking
Children waving, watch him go
Freight trains, milk trains
Boat trains waiting
Stand aside to let him go
There in the morning glow
The sunlight on the night train
Silhouettes the night train
On down the line he blows...
Woooooo-oooooo!!!
There in the morning glow
On down the line he blows
Hear the sound of the night train
The chugga-chug-chugg of the night train
Hear how his whistle blows...
Woooooo-oooooo!!!
Hear how his whistle blows
On down the line he blows
On down the line he blows
I don’t start stories that won’t have an ending. I’m curious about this story and will read it if you continue it.
For some reason I pictured Spirited Away when it said that the train went out to the ocean were the city was located. Really want to see were this story goes, hope it gets updated.
My current feeling is that this is an alt. universe were Luna/Nightmare Moon is the ruler of the demons and after her return, she and Celestia still don't get along or something and she will eventuelly return to 'her' little demons.
update it we want to see more
Interesting story so far, will it get updated?
Yo did you ran out of ideas for this story?
11726292
No I have not. Just not too interested in it anymore. Maybe one day I will return to it, but probably not.