• Member Since 22nd May, 2015
  • offline last seen September 3rd

shattered_sky


I exist. I also write fanfiction. My favorite color is the taste of the letter 7 with a hint of luckless. Updates will be twice a month.

T

[CURRENTLY ON HIATUS DUE TO NO CELLPHONE NO COMPUTER]
Yo I'm Nathan. Dissy said there is a audience listening... So listen up. I always wanted to be a hero, I always wanted to go to equestria. Well I fucked up... But I am gonna redeem myself! I'm gonna prove sunbutt and all of her ponies wrong! I am gonna save Equestria!

Once I get out of here...

Or fuck up again in the process...

Meh. Whatever comes first.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 100 )

Please give constructive criticism before dropping a downvote

It is hard to do fanfictions on a smartphone.

giz

the story he felt a little accelerated, besides this is falling on the concept
I was sealed but I do not care or affects
even if it was a mistake the protagonist should be somewhat affected / annoyed / disturbed etc.
I understand it is a nice guy but this is an almost holy level


I sincerely hope that this version of celestia not Try a seal without trying to talk to him, and other stories

many writers forget that celestia single seal / banished / jailed because there was no choice and tried almost divine powers or individuals with enemies to conquer empires by itself or destroy the world, and watching what happened to the discord is willing to end judgments and free their prisoners and not to let them sealed forever

I hope the misunderstanding justify seal

Oh he's guilty and pissed to he's just bottling it up. He will have outbursts in the future. This is something I just made in class I'll try to pace it a bit. Thanks mate.

Oh and he is a bit moody you'll see in the future chapters.

giz

6362540 Another tip would be
where are you going with this story?
other writers write only for the novelty of the genre type, but without any real purpose and only add chapter after chapter and then get bored and leave history

nathan will just live in ponyille, occasionally being hunted by his old enemies. And try to correct his mistakes.

When should I explain Jared's power you think?

Comment posted by shattered_sky deleted Aug 27th, 2015
giz

6365596
depends where tilts the story or the complexity of their powers, I would say that in the course of history is revealed by little their skills
although personally he had added omega physiology or superhuman strength

and living in ponyville

beware of cliche can be interesting but abuse can ruin a story or if there are no reasons to validate such action
you know as typical

it automatically reconciles. or looking for an inordinate revenge
falls in love with a character in 5 minutes
flutter afraid to be omnivorous, although she cares quite dangerous animals
rd attacks him without hesitation

It was also mentioned that it was royal guard should try to give later in history traits or behaviors
anthro indeed gender is often a magnet downvotes
and displaced usually move in both spectra, criticizes very bad or very good

I'd probably tweak his abilities I'll look up omega physiology on power listing wiki.

Thanks again mate for tips.

Update is coming soon.

I'm planning on making another powerlotto and a few displaced.

giz

6365778
beware crossovers are difficult to make and interrupt the flow of history
and many authors quite often abuse of that idea .al point that many readers do not read crosovers
and over the omega physiology I would give a weaker version
or would add typical
resistance / strength and reflexes increased

Well I guess I should include flashbacks and snippets about him in history.

Rd personally is aggressive but she probably won't attack a 'monster' on sight in my opinion.

The flutters afraid of 'meat eaters' is overated. She takes care of a bear and she befriended a manticore!

Oh and he's more of a laid back type. Smart but a bit of an airhead.

I'll explain things soon.

Oh down vote or upvote

Steroids?

Zebra drugs?

Healthy lifestyle?

giz

6365860
down vote, though then he calms

although I like the hollow heads was a guard and should have its moments of calm and serious as vash stampede

If rd is explosive but attack something that is not grabbing anything bad as other stories .Many forget that it is not as closed as reported in other stories was her friend and another species was in defense of the buffalo

OK thanks I'll try and work a bit on his character.

But a thousand years can do a lot to a person.

I can't watch the videos because I'm using mobile data only.

Thanks again for your time mate.

giz

But a thousand years can do a lot to a person.

exactly
many forget or ignore the fact that, I see it more as a form of torture
I find it hard to believe that forgive or be friends again instantaneously

without a time to heal and think things
and the most fun as a general rule celestia always believed to be sleeping peacefully and have no idea they are awake

indeed look at these 3 stories


http://www.fimfiction.net/story/209630/fists-of-fury-or-something
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/212048/drawn-with-the-night
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/264149/im-tired-of-this-damn-place

Imma gonna rewrite the first chapter...

This is a very good story so far, and I can't wait to read more of it. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Thanks mate the like and fave is appreciated.:twilightsmile:

As long as the updates are frequent, I'll see where this goes, fave.

Maybe 2 days least. A week the most. College and stuff.

:moustache:i like the new opener but you might want to get someone to go over it for spelling errors, but with that said....
*insert zelda item found music*
Shattered_skys has gained a Favorited and a +1 upvote:yay:

i will admit however when i saw the redo i was kind of hoping you would have went with a tone more like this one. however that is mostly cause i am on a Count of Monte Cristo kick right now.

Thanks. I'm trying to learn more english words. I'll scan through the errors.

Good day

mabuhay at magandang araw

Edit: if you mean AJ's lines that's how you spell her southern drawls.

So since they have shoes they don't have hooves?

Comment posted by shattered_sky deleted Sep 2nd, 2015

So is he still a human, or was he changed into a pony?

He is a human. He just has wings because he got 'wing manifestation'
From the power lottery(there is a group).

Diabeetus is a intentional misspelling.

This is a good chapter.

...... update it.... update it..... Update it..... Update it :flutterrage::rainbowlaugh::trollestia:

>>Rakenja

Don't worry. Offer an arm or something to the gods of fimfiction. If I flunk my exams no computer and smartphone. So if I fail no update for two weeks. If I don't fail update in 5 days from now.

Huh. You wound up with the elements of insanity as opposition. Not the most lethal in potentia I have seen, but certainly frightening to face all at once. Then again, Nathan gets boosted by courage, so you probably made him do it with a smile.

"Hey you fricken moron! Did ya miss me!" She shouted. Oh fuck. I'm not 100% yet...

And they are? Is that because she is a Cyborg? :duck:

"Ouch! Benny... Bobby..." I groaned in pain. "Ugghh... Nathan Junior..." It doesn't take a genius to know...

I don't get it. :rainbowhuh:

"Yes master." Yay! I have a dragon! He might come in handy. "I will serve you until the day I die." Or until you save my ass, *sigh* Dragon code... How exactly did I save this guy's life anyways?

Hm... Have you read the Gilgamesh displaced fic? :rainbowwild:

Oh, and have a like. This story seems good enough so far. :pinkiesmile:

Why did I leave those two at the castle?

I was wondering the same thing too! You could have just brought them to the guard to arrest them. Silly little Protagonist! :rainbowwild:

Dia... Beetus!

I don't get it. :rainbowhuh:

I cut her off again and continued my verbal assault. "If your IQ was any lower you would trip on it. Also you are the carpenter's dream." I'm not sure if this insult will work. "Because your chest is so flat." I could have sworn I heard glass breaking. She then stared at her chest. Then she glared at me.

Flat chest jokes. Love them. :rainbowlaugh:

"Soooo... Brutalight." I looked at Rainbine who raised her hand. "Do you know... A spell... That can give me larger boobs?" What. Those squishy things on humans and on our chest?

Of course. She is still peeved at that. :rainbowlaugh:

"Why won't we try and bring Nathan to our side?" Fluttershout offered.

I LOVE her idea! :rainbowwild:

I like this story. Personally don't understand why it has so many dislikes. :rainbowhuh:

>>Hoppa_21

Well I rewritten the first two chapters because they weren't as good...

Thanks for the like dude and stay tuned!

Hoppa_21

I don't think there are any guards in Ponyville much. And even if there were they are trained to look good and make people feel safe. Not keep them safe.

And I doubt that guards have a chrash course on how to fight a cyborg and a kinda hulk...

Good to hear you're enjoying!

6453554

No problem! And thanks for the Watch! :pinkiesmile: I hope to see more of your chapters in the future!

Oh, and if you like, I have two HiE stories myself, which you can read. The Human-Turned-Sombra one seems to be the more popular out of the two. :yay:

Gilgamesh? What Gilgamesh?

*Sweats hard and looks toward the nearest door.*

6453573

That's a good point... Nathan would have to restrain them somehow, since normal restraints probably wouldn't do anything. Best thing would have been to bring them directly to Celestia and Luna, but then again, they would wake up, before he could reach them, not to forget the restraint problem. Can he make flame restraints? Those purple flames are manipulative, so maybe it would be an option. On the other hand it still burns. The shackles would have cut through their metal limbs, so not an option either.

Only one option left. He could have taken them with him to Canterlot, and every time they stirred he would have just whacked their heads! Hard to tell if they would survive such an abuse, but otherwise, they are Cyborgs and seem able to repair themself...automatically? Yeah, not so sure about that solution either. Probably not the best discussion, since he made another decision anyway. :twilightsheepish:

6453702

Luna is in her weakened state and Celly is hindered by cake. Plus the only realible way to stop them is either to kill, reform, or friendship beam.

Kill is against his conscience. Reformation in two hours is impossible.
No friendship beam.

He can make chains from purple flame easily but it takes concentration to maintain it. He made normal chains from chaos magic just to hang them upside down:trollestia:

Hoppa_21

Only Rainbine is a cyborg. Applepills is simply stronger than average. All of them were taken over by tf2 freaks.

They came from a alt universe. check elements of insanity.

6455585

Ah, ok. Didn't know about these characters before. That's why I assumed they were all cyborgs.

6455403

Yeah. That really is a problem then.

Well, I'm thrilled to see how this story continues. :twilightsmile:

6460223
Have you ever watched the tf2 freaks on youtube? I guess not but sometimes when I'm bored I watch random things.

I see you have a displaced fic too... I haven't read it yet but do you know any fics with displacers themselves interact with their displaced throughout the story?

I'm glad some people appreciate this. I'm currently working on another displaced fic and a ala league of legends Equestria fic.

6460239

I just looked at it. A little, at least. Wasn't that interested to watch over an hour of video! :rainbowlaugh:

I don't understand the question. What is a displacer? People like the merchant who sent people into the worlds? If yes, I would know a story. The name was, if I remember correctly "A farmer and his tools". He met a woman in one chapter, who seemed to be responsible for his displacement.

6460252

Yeah! that's the story where this guy gets sent as a angel of death and works on the AJ's farm upon his release.

But Nightingale(Essence) is not the one who sent him. She just knows that Celestia.

I think in a venom displaced another guy met his displacer time spinner or something...

Well at least Woona knows he's a good guy. But it's just a matter of time before ol sunbutt realizes Nathen is free and tells the main 6.

Celestia?" Plans? Spin, ???, win and profit?

just replace the ??? with 666 :)

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