This story is a sequel to Ye Cannot Get Ye Flask
After visiting Minuette and Moondancer in Canterlot, Twilight still had one friend left to catch up with. But she never realized just how odd Lyra Heartstrings was. Not until the conversation had begun, anyway.
"Hey, Twilight, wanna feel my hands? They're so soft!"
Written in honor of the Soft Hands Inaugural Fanfiction Contest. Reading the previous story is not necessary to understand this one. Reading the previous story may not lead to an understanding of this one.
"...genius in the way Alice in Wonderland is genius." -BlazzingInferno
Chapters (1)
Oh my god, that title reference. I love it. :D
I'll get to the actual story later tonight.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
I enjoyed this, though if anyone has a good explanation of the ending, I'd love to hear it trump my half-formed thoughts.
Twilight, casting a spell without proper material components handy? Tsk, tsk...
From Dragon Magazine's "Still More Outrages from the Mages" (April Fool's issue, 1989):
Bigby's Interposing Eye
School: Astigmatic
Level: 2
Components: V,S,M
Range: 2"
CT: 5 rounds
Duration: 2 rnds./lvl.
ST: None
AE: Special
Explanation/Description: Casting this spell causes a disembodied and sightless human eye, of normal size, to interpose itself between the spell-caster and any attacking creature. This eye is as effective as any normal eyeball in impeding onrushing and enraged monsters, although it might deter the more squeamish dungeon denizens. The material component for this spell is a human eye, and the magic-user had better have one handy before casting the spell; the ability of this dweomer to "improvise" can be attested by Mooncalf the Monocular, among others.
You lost me...
Heh. Heheh. Heheheh. Yes. All the yes. Have a moustache.
The way this hits not only the grammarian in me, but also the MTG player (I imagine players of some RPGs might feel the same way, or other systems), with certain terms having a special relevance, a sense of what is right and what just can't happen, accentuates the sense of unnatural impossibility beyond what I think I could have felt otherwise. Like the difference between the rules text of a creature including the sentence "X can't be countered" and first seeing the same sentence on a spell, absent "by spells or abilities," with Supreme Verdict, and thinking how strange it seemed.
Perhaps it's not fair to dwell so much on a personal point of emotional resonance to the exclusion of everything else. And I have to say, the argument itself rings true to some I've had, even recently. So there's that, and I was happy that Twilight did at least raise the objections I was able to think up as the story progressed (mostly related to the tea metaphor), dodging the straw-man aspect that sometimes comes up in this kind of argument-fic. In fact, that happening accentuated the sense of helplessness, disorientation by offering a place to stand on, just to pull the carpet out from under it immediately after.
Nice job.
As to the tea pot argument. Can the tea get any colder? Then it can only be made warmer. As her hands can't be made harder, the only possible thing is to make them softer.
Lyra, stop being so damn creepy with your not hands.
I was told this would explain the "soft hands" thing, whatever that is, but... I don't get it. I still don't even know what the"soft hands" thing even is!
Much confuzzlement!
I do love seeing Twilight catch up with the friend she forgot in "Amending Fences." This was an enjoyably surreal take on that meeting, full of enjoyable magibabble and a truly bizarre ending. I can't honestly say I understand it (or the "soft hands" thing in general) but I did enjoy it.
7442461
Soften two target hands. (All creatures have hands.)
7442461
...I am a genius.
7442717
My bad, it only explains why Soft Hands is on the site, not what it actually is. (That can't really be explained. c.c)
7443079
Ha ha ha! This story reminds me of when Jar of Eyeballs first came out and there were hilarious arguments about how many eyeball counters you would put in the jar. Like, if a cyclops died, would you only get one? If it was a spider, would you get eight? If a Polar Kraken died, do you get no counters cuz its eyes are way too big? If a creature has no eyes, do you get no eye counters? Let's not get into the mess that happens when Doubling Season is on the field. Like, where in the hell are all these eyes coming from? XD
Yet when any creature of yours dies, that is how the jar works; you get two eye counters no matter what creature died. The Jar counts them as contributing two eye counters to it, whether the creature had two eyes, many eyes, big eyes, small eyes, or no eyes. It just sort of happens that way because the Jar has rules and that's how the magic obeys. It is as it is, RTFC lel.
That begs to question where these eyes are actually coming from. The answer is the arts and craft store where you bought the plastic googly eyes you're using as counters :B
What the heck did I just read? I... I don't even get it and I don't think I'm supposed to get it.
And that terrifies me.
If you read this aloud in a dark room, it will make your hooves shiny.
This fic is so confusing and horrifying.
I must read it again, Lyra is calling me, her hands are so solf.
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w h a t l u r k s w i t h i n
w h y i t i s t h e s o f t e s t o f h a n d s
This is genius the way Alice in Wonderland is genius.
Also: Lyra is deliciously unsettling
Nice work!
7997359
I'm quoting this. :V
The spell didn't affect anything physical, but something metaphysical. Twilight would be able to soften her own hands as she has the remnants of hands from the EG world. The spell would affect the memory of her hands and whatever their stored counterpart would be when they aren't part of her body. It's the same as her clothes when she goes thought that portal. She gets clothes from nothing and they return to nothing. But apparently it isn't quite true nothing. Something remembers those clothes belong to that pony when that pony becomes a human. That something would also remember those hands.
This leaves three possibilities for Lyra's hands. Each has weird implications. One, she has been to the human world and has metaphysical hands. Two, all beings in the universe have stored counterparts for any form they may take (Sequel about Octavia making her tentacles more slimy?). Three, Lyra has tricked the something into remembering her hands somehow even though she shouldn't have any.
8010816
This is pure evil.
8010920 I wouldn't say pure evil. 80% from concentrate maybe.
The chapter title is appropriate. And it makes sense. Artists always work with "negative space." The absence of something is, in itself, something. That makes this very Lovecraftian in it's level of horror.
Phew... this was undeniably an interesting read. It was a little confusing at the beginning with all the verbs and stuff, but it slowly cleared out into a hilarious, albeit creepy story. Furthermore, I like the details you put into your descriptions. The ending is maybe a little too abstract, but I think I see the point here. Or maybe I don't see it? Anyway, thank you for this story!
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"Abstract" is a good way to put it. :) Thanks for reading!
8418204
You're welcome!
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Lemme tell you about Gilded Drake.
What was, will be, is.
WHAT IS THIS i don't even AHHHHHHHH
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