• Member Since 23rd Jul, 2012
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The Albinocorn


Super smug spectacular star student: Sunset Shimmer.


T
Source

Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle have both been plagued by odd dreams. Romantic escapades and tender moments between ponies they don't recognize that all end in tragedy.

Together, they investigate this phenomena, aware of the growing tug their hearts have for one another. The answers they find, however, may threaten to tear them apart.

Cover art from Yellowrobin. Thanks!

Pre-read by Oroboro!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 70 )

EXCELLENT.

Edit: Not so excellent. I think my soul just broke.

Destiny is a bitch.

Definitely love the expanded ending, gives everything a bit more weight to it.

Why is everyone disliking this fic? Is is that bad?

JMP

This was really great. Harsh, but great.

7585836 I think its the tease of Sunlight. It hurts me but I gave it a like.

I love a good tragedy, this is good.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
13:29_9/22/2016

Yay, a Sunlight fic from one of the best Sunset writers on Sunset day! Not sure things could get any better. Even if this was a tad melodramatic (maybe that's where the downvotes are coming from?). Not surprising though given the author's style.

I like standalone fics, just the last line (and the chapter title) seemed a bit over the top. Compared to everything else they've been through, dealing with a witch's curse can't be that bad. Not when in this lifetime they're personal students of the immortal ruler of Equestria and have way more magic and knowledge between them than they've ever had before. But I just love all the sweet moments between Sunset and Twilight, so I'm still very happy with this fic.

This story reminds so much of Spirit Circle. It's a very good mangá, a little confusing, but I recommend it.

fate is a crule and unusual mistress.dam im glad you made contribution to oroboros ship week but fk men why sad story?i was hopping it will end like others but dam man.the only thing i can say is that you diliverd way above expectation i had but not i a way i was hoping

I love you. And I hate you.

True love conquers all. Just not in my life. Sunlight forever

Comment posted by Enderdragonslayer1 deleted Sep 23rd, 2016

Dang, poor Sunset and Twilight... :(

This was enjoyable and had some good, soft moments between the two. Their interactions felt real and it was fun to see them go exploring their dreams. I could see how some people may see all the sudden Final Destination events happening so suddenly within a few minutes of one another, but it didn't distract too much and got the point across. But dang, the harsher realization is that the witch basically won. She did this whole curse to test their love, every pairing always together until death claimed one. But with Sunlight, the curse sent them off so it wouldn't kill them, meaning their souls couldn't stand against the curse together. That is a subtle way of the witch triumphing over them. %^$#.

I hope the two are able to come back together one day and overcome the witch. Still, this was a good story and the number of dislikes it has so far is a bit unearned. This is a very good story.

Don't cry...don't cry...not crying...totally not crying...-collapses on the floor crying-:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

Twilight giggled. “You sound like me.”

I found a voice actor joke.

7586416 Where did you get your avatar?

Dammit. Now I'm gonna go to bed sad :fluttercry:

This really needs a follow up. Even if it would still end on a sad note, I just want to know if their is anything they can do. The story seemed to hint that they might be the one, the other reincarnations did not have memories, like they did.

That moment when the Hoover Dam decides to explode on your face...

Damn, Albinocorn... damn...

*Likes*

I think this fic is far too short for it's premise. The premise is great, the writing is good, but just so rushed. I feel this story should be at least ten times as long as it is. Some of the paragraphs had exposition that could easily and more effectively be explained over chapters far longer than this entire story.

This fic lasts only long enough to throw the reader in, throw a bunch of information at them, and then end. It was just so rushed I couldn't really get that attached to anything that was going on.

I really enjoyed this. Thank you!

Cheap ending. Two magical prodigies, with a 3rd downstairs, and with access to a couple of thousand year old demi-gods and a powerful spirit of chaos can't figure out a way to break a curse?

Don't cry.
Don't cry.
Ending
Cries a river.

I can't even. Bravo. Bravo Albinocorn.
Normally I don't mind such stories that end in tragedy. But damn this just broke my heart - no, soul - into pieces.

I'm sure they'll find a way to remove the curse. After all, they're in a world where magical equines, griffons, dragons, and other mythical creatures are real; a curse is like a typical Tuesday to them...

Right?

Can't they look for advice from Zecora about this? Since she's technically a shaman.

who... tell me, who invited the damn cutting onions ninjas!? :flutterrage: :fluttercry:

For it to last this long the witch would have needed to be a magical monster.
What if Starlight is the witch's reincarnation? :pinkiegasp:
What a Twist ending! :twistnerd:

Nooo curse you for teasing the SunLight! Love that cannot be is like a knife to the heart, why must you twist it so! If anyone were to break the curse it would be Twilight and Sunset, noone has overcome as much as those two have! I demand you write a sequel where they overcome the curse and live happily ever after! :flutterrage: ... if thats ok with you i mean... :fluttershysad:
Sadness aside i enjoyed the story very much. Great work as always!

Comment posted by Hoorayforpeepee deleted Sep 23rd, 2016

There is nothing like a curse. It's only smoke and mirrors.

Interesting premise, but it felt more like a self-fulfilling prophesy there in the sense that they were overly hysteric about it. That ending statement is utterly illogical since, if the notion is true, then it won't matter which lifetime. They really ought to talk to the Princesses. If magic was immutable then Luna/NMM would still be stuck on the moon. The elements aren't the cure to everything, but the principle stands.

Good as always.
But honestly the ending is kinda weak imho. :fluttershyouch:

7587188

As much as I loved Long Road, I have to agree. You don't bemoan a curse when you have access to literally the best and most varied magic users in the whole blessed world right there. THREE magical scientists (all with essentially the same name and role), two who lived out basically the history of pony magic and have more than anyone else, a third in the Empire you call sister who probably specializes in this sort of thing, and what amounts to a god of breaking-all-the-rules.

If they can't break a curse from a witch, then why hasn't the very -concept- of witchery been completely eradicated, since they're so powerful a bevy of demigods can only wring their metaphorical hands and derp at the problem? You can't have a nation if there exists a problem like that in its borders.

An absolute corker, tha's done thissen proud. Only one thing:

"I need to read up on proper date edicate!"

It should be 'etiquette'. :flutterrage:

Your use of anamnesis gets an immediate plus from me. :3

This was good. But isn't Sunset almost ascended. And with Twilight being an Alicorn. Don't they kinda of need to break the curse? Unless they want to wait thousands of years, for Twilight to be murdered or have an accident. Especially if Sunset does truly Ascend.

I want a sequel where they break the curse. After all we have two of the greatest magical minds in history.

:fluttershysad:

Minor corrections:

I’ve never been on a date before! Oh gosh! I need to read up on proper date edicate!

etiquette

maitre de

maître d'

My friend, may I give you applause for the SunLight ship. You made a really good ship, tease it then sunk it like the titanic and have people wanting more. A true mastermind, good job.
:moustache:

Decent enough fic, above average for much of the Sunset and SunLight fic I read on this site. Writing is quite good, actually, well constructed, imaginative sentences with dialog that equates rather well to the source material. Everyone is just a little too on-the-nose for my tastes - but it's by far the worst sin of this.

No, this piece is truly held back by a rushed and incongruous ending. 10k words of the start of an epic romantic-adventure, and 1k words of an ending that doesn't serve the setup before it. Why bother showing us glimmers of the lives of these other ponies just to shrug and say "oh well, guess we'll just go our separate ways." Did any of the other cursed souls remember their prior lives or is that unique to Twi and Sunny? If so, then why? The romance also comes a little too easily. I'm hardly one to object to SunLight but it seems like they should work for it more. Then once they do admit attraction they jump to love, and then to eternal separation.

My advice is to figure out what you are trying to say with this fic. Either cut down the build up so the ending is more appropriate, or get ready to write a much longer story about two ponies cursed to be together and who gradually fall in love (possibly with Twilight resisting it because she'd prefer to choose who to love rather than be forced to it) while they attempt to free themselves of a deadly witch...

Got carried away there. Anyway, balance this out and you'll be golden. You appear to be a good writer, just put pen to paper. :raritywink:

7588366 Pretty much my thoughts on this. It doesn't feel like Twilight and Sunset to just give up in front of a magic-based problem. They'd nerd on it for months on end, covering every possibility. Probably triply so when life (and love) was on the line. If anything, this ending feels like a beginning.

7587188
Agree.

Cheap ending. +1

story is not bad ... until the ending..

Agreed. This seems like they give up a little too quick...

Curse is a spell that needs energy to work. Cut the energy and the curse will disapear. For someone expirienced in magic any curse is easy to break. Twilight should be able to dispel the curse easily.

More
As much as I love bittersweet stories.
This pair, and from what others have said, they should overcome this and finally get a little bit of happiness.

The Albinocorn finally makes a Sunlight story with Princess Twilight, what sorcery is this?!
Aaaand it's a feels train with a sad ending... Dang it, Alby, why do you do this to us :fluttercry:

“Perhaps in the next lifetime.”

:fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair::fluttershysad::flutterrage:

That's all.

7590508 Yeah, dealing with dark curses is basically what Twilight does every 2-parter. She should be in full problem solving mode.

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