• Published 30th Mar 2016
  • 4,862 Views, 50 Comments

Scootadate - shortskirtsandexplosions



Applejack and Rainbow Dash, dating in secret, finally find the opportunity to spend some "quality" time alone together. When Scootaloo shows up, happy and unannounced, what are the two marefriends to do? Play laser tag with the filly, of course.

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Love, Liaisons, and Laser Tag

Scooter wheels glided over a hilly mound of grass. With a sweaty smile, Scootaloo gripped the hoofbars of her vehicle and hollered into the sunny afternoon air: "Hey Apple Bloom!"

"Hmmm?" Apple Bloom looked over from where she stood by the pig pen at Sweet Apple Acres, tossing buckets of slop into the enclosure. "Oh, howdy there, Scootaloo."

Scootaloo skidded to an expert stop just inches from Apple Bloom. She pulled her helmet off and shook her pink mane loose. "Got a bunch of extra chores today?"

"Guess you could say that," the redheaded filly replied. She grabbed another bucket and tossed its contents to the ravenous swine. "Applejack's done taken the day off."

"Whoah." Scootaloo squinted. "She can do that?"

"Pffft. Why not? Even farmers deserve vacations too, ya reckon?" Apple Bloom fidgeted where she stood. "Though, I kinda sorta wish it wasn't on the afternoon right before 'Family Appreciation Day.' The Zap Apple Harvest ain't till a month from now. This is my big chance to show all of Cheerilee's class just how awesome AJ is!"

"Wow. Bet you're pumped!"

"And how! I just hope AJ gets home in time for us to work out a show'n'tell game plan for tomorrow."

"Come to think of it..." Scootaloo's orange muzzle scrunched. "Rainbow Dash has been a real no-show as of late too."

"Yikes! You dun suppose she's in trouble or nothin'?"

"Pffft. Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo bore a sly grin as she waved a hoof. "Naaaaah. Knowing Rainbow, she's probably off... kicking hydra flank or headbutting buffalo or doing something else spectacular to save the world."

"Heh. I wonder if Cheerilee would let ya invite Rainbow Dash to Family Appreciation Day sometime. What—with her bein' yer 'big sister' in spirit'n'all."

"Heehee..." Scootaloo's cheeks were slightly rosy. "That's a sweet idea, Apple Bloom... but I think it might be considered 'cheating.' I mean... just think about it! Who could defeat such awesomeness as bringing Rainbow Dash in as a 'big sister?'"

"Uhm... me and AJ, that's who!" Apple Bloom stuck her tongue out.

"Okay. I'm not gonna argue that one," Scootaloo droned. "So... uh... you're too busy feeding pigs to hang out?"

"Sorry, Scoots. Plus, after this, I gotta shuck some corn and water Granny's flowers." Apple Bloom wiped her brow. "I've been slacking off! There's a whole lot of catchin' up to do!"

"Want me to lend a hoof?"

"No!" Apple Bloom replied rather explosively. The filly winced, then admitted with a pensive tone: "I... uhm... I-I'm bein' paid five whole bits for the day's work..."

"Ah." Scootaloo nodded with a grin. "Well, I'm not about to steal your thunder, no matter how golden or shiny."

"Much appreciated, Scoots. What say you, me, and Sweetie Belle get together this weekend? After show'n'tell is well out of the way n'all?"

"Deal!" Scootaloo plopped her helmet back on and blurred her wings. "Be bells with there on... erm... y-you know wh-what I mean!" Fwoooosh! The filly coasted over the nearby hillside.

"Heheheheh... take care, Scoots!" Apple Bloom said with a wave, then reluctantly turned back to the oinking livestock. "Knowin' my odds, I'll earn my cutie mark in hog-wallowin'." She twitched suddenly, then gave the violet emblem on her flank a squinting glance. "Oh right. Eheh..." Hear ears folded. "...I plum forgot."


It was a beautiful afternoon, and the golden rays of sunshine brought a refreshing tingle to Scootaloo's flapping wings as they propelled her tiny body over the Ponyvillean countryside.

The spontaneous joy of the moment filled Scootaloo with contentment, but swiftly dwindled under a lethargic cloud of meandering thoughts.

"Hmmmmmmmmm..." Scootaloo sighed out her nostrils. "...Apple Bloom's busy doing chores... Sweetie Belle is getting her mane done." She pouted against the warm winds as she glided over another hilltop. "Seems like everypony is everywhere else but here." She stifled a yawn, then slowed her wings so that she coasted to a dull lurch atop her scooter. "What I wouldn't give to know what Rainbow Dash is up to. That would really turn this day upside down."

Then, like a stroke of magic, Scootaloo heard a cracking voice in the air: thin and raspy and full of squealing octaves.

Scootaloo came to a complete stop. She balanced on her scooter, blinking at opposite horizons.

"Uhhhhhhh..." She squinted at the landscape surrounding her. "...Rainbow Dash?"

Once more, the voice squealed, hitting high notes both frightening and ecstatic. Scootaloo craned her neck, listening for recognizable syllables. She only made out a few cohesive statements at best: "...so awesome... ... ... omigoshomigoshomigosh... ... ... two can play at that game... ... ... you're gonna get it now, apple peeler...!"

"Is... is she running on a treadmill?" Scootaloo thought aloud. "...with marbles in her mouth?"

The squealing voice echoed again—muffled this time—and another voice instantly resonated from behind a series of thick bushes to Scootaloo's left. "Land's sakes! Ya frisky little snake!"

"Heeheehee!"

"If that's the way ya wanna play yer little game, I shoulda brought my lasso!"

"Oh noesss! Whatever shall I do! Heehee!"

"Don't ya go emulatin' Rarity, con sarn it! It'll ruin the mood."

"Then play nice, hayseed!"

"Ya know y'all hate it when I'm 'nice.'"

"Heeeeeeeeee..."

By now, Scootaloo had removed her helmet and trotted around the bushes. Her eyes reflected two bright shapes: one pastel orange and the other sky blue. Upon seeing the latter, her face lit up with a dumb grin. "Rainbow Dash! There you are!"

"GAAAAAAH!"

"TARNATION!"

Eight legs fought and wriggled to disentangle from one another. After ten horrifyingly clumsy seconds, Applejack and Rainbow Dash finally stood side by side, covered in sweat and shivers.

"Don't stop now, Rainbow!" Scootaloo chimed. "You almost had Applejack in a headlock!" She grinned with a blank stare. "Only you could do a headlock while your face is so close to her butt!"

"Erm..." Applejack leaned from side to side, brushing her bangs back as her freckles swam in a burning red sea. "Ehmmmm... uhm..."

"Squirt?" Rainbow Dash panted and panted. She shook leaves and grass blades loose from her mane. "What the heck—I mean... how in friggin' Tartarus—"

Applejack cleared her throat. Hard.

"Erm... what I mean is..." Rainbow Dash bore a nervous smile. "What brings you here? In this quiet little spot! Far away from all of Ponyville and its citizens? Eheheheh..." Her teeth chattered.

"Heehee... I was just getting some sweet airtime on my speedy scooter!" Scootaloo said with a devilish smirk. "But then I heard you wrestling and I thought: 'Hey! Awesome! Rainbow Dash!' You know, the usual."

"Oh! Uhm... s-sure, kid! Wrestling! Eheheheh..."

"Hi, Applejack!" Scootaloo smiled up at the other mare. "Enjoying your vacation?"

"Erm..." The country mare gulped, avoiding Scootaloo's gaze. "I guess y'all could say that..."

"Wow, AJ!" Scootaloo grinned. "I've never seen you with your hat off!" She smiled some more. "And your ribbon undone!" A blink. "And your face all sunburnt—wait."

"Erm..." Applejack winced.

"Did you get attacked by a snake or something?" Scootaloo's eyes narrowed with momentary concern. "There are tiny bite marks all across your neck and muzzle!" She craned her neck. "Oh jeez! And your cutie mark as well—"

"Ha HA!" Rainbow Dash blurred forward on flapping wings. "Okay, Scoots! It's... uhm... t-time to go!"

"Huh? Time to go?" Scootaloo stumbled backwards, ushered away by Rainbow's feathers. "I don't get it! Did..." She bit her lip, eyes quivering. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No!" Rainbow Dash shook her head furiously. "Not at all, kiddo! Applejack and I were just—"

Applejack cleared her throat heavily.

"—uhhhhh..." Rainbow's pupils shrank as she stared off into the horizon, eyeballs rattling. "...wrestling! Just like you said!"

Thap! Applejack facehoofed hard.

"Cool!" Scootaloo smiled. "Wrestling's fun! Y'know, the Crusaders and I like to wrestle from time to time!"

"... ... ...not like this," Rainbow hoarsely added.

"Yer never too old to hang out with... close friends, Scootaloo!" Applejack managed in a hoarse voice. "Simply stated, that's what Rainbow and I been doin' on my... 'day off.'"

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash nodded. "What she said! Truthfully! Listen to honest Applejack! That mare never lies—"

"Rein it in, sugarcube," the farm mare growled.

Rainbow cleared her throat. "We were just... planning on what to do with the rest of our afternoon!" Rainbow Dash exhaled, her voice briefly taking on a dreamy tone. "Y'know... putting our heads and hooves together and gently... but vigorously... planning."

"Oh yeah?" Scootaloo blinked. "What did you both come up with?"

Applejack paled. "Uhhhhhhhhh—" She looked at Rainbow.

"Durrrr..." Rainbow Dash suddenly brightened. "Laser tag!" She smiled at Scootaloo. "We were gonna go do some laser tag in downtown Ponyville!"

"Uhm... s-sure!" Applejack smiled crookedly. "What Rainbow said!" A beat, and she whispered aside: "What the hay is 'laser tag?'"

"Uhhhhh..."

"Whoah! Really?!" Scootaloo grinned wide. "I love laser tag! I've always wanted to do it with friends but both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are afraid of the dark!" Her ears twitched. "And lasers! But mostly just the dark!"

"Yes, well..." Rainbow Dash stood tall and proud. "We're big, awesome mares. Laser tag is like warming up to take on the world!"

"Awesome! Can I join?!" Scootaloo asked.

Rainbow Dash's ears drooped. "Uhm..."

"I wanna take on the world too!" Scootaloo grinned. "Plus, I've got some bits to spare! Oh please oh pleeeeeease! I'll be the best teammate ever!"

"Applejack and I... were... k-kinda planning on being a two-mare team."

"Only a two-mare laser tag team?" Scootaloo blinked crookedly. "How does that work?"

"Well, you see... uhm..." Applejack sweated and sweated. She played with her mane, wincing at the unkempt golden threads. "Awwwwwwwwwwwwww shoot."


Zaaaap! Z-Z-Zaaaap!

"Woohooo!" Scootaloo dove across a dark interior arena flooded with neon stripes and copious amounts of blacklight. She landed on her side, pulling the trigger of a gun attached to a backpack via fiberoptics.

The gun's muzzle strobed, and a bright red beam swam through the mist of a fog machine before making contact with a target strapped to another pony's chest. Scootaloo's opponent gasped as her backpack vibrated and flickered all over.

"Hah HAH! You're dead, baby!" Scootaloo stood up and "blew" the barrel of her plastic gun. "Heeee! This is so awesome!"

"Psssst..." An attendant standing along the sidelines called out to the filly. "No diving allowed in here. Slow down, please."

"Sorry! My bad!" Scootaloo waved back. Suddenly, a volley of red lasers swam all around her. "Aaack! Heehee! You gotta try harder than that to take me down!" She scampered behind a series of plastic crates, took aim, and returned fire. "Pew! Pew pew pew!"

Z-Z-Zaaaap!

A battalion of Ponyvillean competitors took cover behind brightly colored barricades. Laughter and shouts echoed across the arena beneath a frenetic techno beat being broadcasted through the establishment's crackling speakers.

"Pew! Pew pew pew pew!" Scootaloo panted and sweated. "Yikes! There's too many of them!" She hollered over her shoulder. "Applejack! Rainbow Dash! I'm going to need back up!"

More and more lasers swam through the artificial fog.

Scootaloo gnashed her teeth. "We've got incoming! Rainbow! AJ! Do you copy?!"

A brief exchange of gasps and giggles emanated from behind.

"Huh?" Scootaloo turned to look over her shoulder. Ducking laser fire, she crawled across the arena and leapt behind a series of obstructions. Beyond a length of shadows, she saw the orange and blue figures of two mares huddled against the wall.

"Snrkkk! Dang it, AJ! You're going to make us lose!" Rainbow Dash wheezed.

"Hmmmmm," Applejack purred, her gun dangling uselessly at her side. "The way I'm keepin' score, that there look on yer face means yer winnin' mighty hard."

"Guhhhhhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash's eyes rolled under strobe light as she leaned back, pinned against the arena wall. "Friggin' A, Applejack. Stop treating me like your stinkin' apple trees..."

"Mmmmm... I'm aimin' to plow a plot of land, if ya catch my drift." Applejack's muzzle tickled Rainbow's neck.

"Heeeeeee—"

"Hey!" Scootaloo barked. "What are you girls doing?!"

"Gaaah!" Applejack spun around, grasping her gun background. "We were... uhm..."

Rainbow Dash slicked her mane back, shivering. "That was... just us... uhm..."

"You're sneaking up on the enemy base, aren't you?!" Scootaloo grinned. "Can I join?"

"Yes. I mean no!" Rainbow Dash grimaced hard. "'No' is what I said!"

"Uhm... this is... errr... very complicated tactics, sugarcube!" Applejack wheezed.

"Yeah!" Rainbow nod-nod-nodded. "We were hanging back to defend our base!"

"Eeeyup!"

Scootaloo squinted. "But our base is way over there."

"Oh." Applejack blinked. "Then... uhm... we're midfieldin'?"

"Inside?" Scootaloo craned her neck. "Without a field?"

"Uhhhhhh—"

Zap! Z-Z-Zap! A mess of red lasers flew at the group.

"Look out!" Scootaloo spun around, taking aim. "They're trying to flank us!"

"Oh lordy!" Applejack winced, ducking low. "This is dangerous!"

"Applejack..." Rainbow Dash grunted. "They're just lasers! They can't actually hurt you."

Applejack stood up straight. "Really?" A red laser made contact with her plastic chest piece, making it vibrate all over.

"Oh no, AJ!" Scootaloo yelped. "You've been shot dead!"

"Oh, I have?" Applejack droned. "What a cryin' shame. Guess I have no choice but to trot off to my grave, then."

"Will you try harder, for Pete's sake?!" Rainbow Dash hissed.

"Look, this just ain't my speed!" Applejack hissed back. "You shoulda shouted somethin' more recognizable, ya bird-brain! Like hog-tyin' or hoof wrestlin' or bumper karts—"

"Oh, wow! I love bumper karts!" Scootaloo gasped as lasers flew all around them.

"Uhhhhhh..." Applejack fidgeted.

Rainbow Dash coughed amidst the misty fog. "Actually, Scoots, after this Applejack and I were planning to... to..."

"Yes?" Scootaloo looked up at them, her violet eyes glistening with joy and innocence.

"... ... ..." Rainbow Dash's smile twitched. "Bumper karts! Totally!"

Applejack face-hoofed again.

"Yaaaaaaay!" Scootaloo flailed in place. "You and Applejack are gonna have the time of your lives!"

"Hrmmm... don't I know it," Rainbow Dash muttered. A half-dozen lasers converged on her chestpiece, vibrating her to the core. "Duaaaaaaaaah—" She collapsed. Thud!


"Woohooo!" Scootaloo spun the wheel of her bumper kart. With a shower of sparks, she glided across the floor and plowed into Rainbow Dash's vehicle, sending it ricocheting off against two other karts. "Best... afternoon... everrrrr!"

"Y-yeah..." Rainbow Dash wheezed, struggling to keep her vehicle steady amidst a sea of converging carnival craft. "Super awesome." She experienced a heavy thud from behind. "Gah!" She frowned over her shoulder. "AJ, what was that for?"

"Just blendin' in, darlin'," the farm mare grunted, slamming into Rainbow Dash's kart again. "Ain't that the purpose of this whole shindig?"

"No, the whole point of being here is to have fun!" Rainbow gnashed her teeth as she bumped into Applejack. Whud!

Applejack spun the wheel, frowning. "We was havin' fun! Until ya decided to open yer big blue mouth 'bout one nonsensical thang after another!" She jerked the wheel. Wham!

"Grrrrrrrr..." Rainbow Dash slicked her sweaty bangs back and came straight for Applejack's vehicle. "Well, I don't see you coming up with any better ideas!" Thud! "And besides, I like the little squirt! What am I supposed to do, send her away?!" Wham!

"Ya could try tellin' her the truth!" Thwack!

"Why don't you, Miss Sexy-And-Honest-Applejack!" Thud!

"Yeah... well... she ain't m-my 'little sister.'" Whud! "So you do it!" Wham!

"See! It's easy to make excuses!" Thwack! "Not so easy to come clean with being dirty!" Whack!

"She's a little filly! We dun have to come out about anythang that's 'dirty!'" Whud!

"At one point or another, we're going to have to!" Thwack!

"Says you!" Thunk!

"Dang straight!" Wham! "What of it?!"

Cl-Clunk! "Ohhhhhhh..." Applejack huffed and puffed, straightening her hat with one hoof while steering with the other. "You are so gonna get it later, ya raspy lil' jerk!" Wham!

Rainbow Dash gulped. "Is... is th-that a promise...?"

Applejack lost her grip of the wheel, eyes sparkling. "Ohhhhh sugarcube..." Just as she began to smile deliriously—

Screeeeeeech! Scootaloo zoomed in and slammed both mares' vehicles into the side bumpers. WH-WHAM! "Ha! Two points to me!" She pumped a hoof into the air. "Woohooo!"

"Wow. Look at that." Rainbow Dash smiled, droning. "You sure showed us. You're on a roll, kid."

"Heeheeeeeee!" Scootaloo beamed wide. "I know!"

Applejack jolted from another pony hitting her in the rear. "Ooomf. Say... uh... Scootaloo?"

Wh-Whack! Scootaloo side-swiped Rainbow Dash. "Yeah, AJ?"

"This has been fun and all, but Rainbow and I have somethin' that... uhm... we needs to tell ya."

"Oh?" Scootaloo looked over, ears twitching cutely. "What's that, AJ?"

"Yes..." Rainbow Dash squinted as she spun around the two in her bumper kart. "...what's on your mind, AJ? I'm sure it'd be super easy to tell Scootaloo!"

"Uhm... well... you see... we uhm..." Applejack sweated and sweated.

"Hmmm?" Scootaloo blinked, grinning from ear to ear.

"... ... ..." Applejack gritted her teeth hard. "... ... ...who's for some ice cream after this?"

"Woohooo!" Scootaloo cheered, forelimbs flailing. "Strawberry vanilla! Sign me up!"

"Eheheh... sure thang!" Applejack gulped and smiled aside. "Rainbow?"

"Yeah..." Rainbow gnashed her teeth, swinging her kart into Applejack's. "...I could use some chunky monkey." THUDDD!


"And that's when I decided..." Scootaloo smiled, digging a tiny spoon into her ice cream and taking another sweet bite. "Mmmmm... that if I survive the apocalypse, then I at least want a killer sweet zeppelin all to myself!"

"Heh... imagine that..." Applejack nodded, sitting across the booth from her.

"Yeah... sounds... uhm..." Rainbow's voice cracked in the air of Sugarcube Corner. "Really... what's the word...?"

"Awesome?" Applejack suggested.

"Yeah! That! Awesome!" Rainbow gulped. "Who'd a thunk it."

"Heehee. I know, right? And Sweetie Belle says I've got a silly imagination."

"Sweetie Belle is a slightly evolved talking marshmallow."

"Hah! So I've been told." Scootaloo took another bite. Her eyes fell to the table, blinking. "Mmmm... say... AJ? Rainbow Dash? Aren't you hungry?"

"Oh... sure!"

"We're famished, sugarcube!"

Scootaloo's eyes narrowed. "Then how come neither of you have touched your ice cream?"

The two mares fidgeted. "Uhm..."

"Erm..."

"It's melting!" Scootaloo smiled. "Maybe you ordered the wrong flavors!" She grinned. "Better lick each others' up before it's too late!"

"Snkkkt..." Applejack's muzzle contorted.

"AJ..." Rainbow Dash grumbled aside.

"Grnnnggh..." Applejack's face fell onto the table. Thwap! "I just can't take it anymore, sugarcube," she muttered in a mix of moaning and laughing as she slapped the tabletop with her hoof. "That... that's just the last straw. Hehehehhhhhh... Celestia almighty..."

"What... what's wrong?" Scootaloo remarked, squirming nervously. "Was... was it something I said?"

"It's okay, Squirt. It's just that... well..." Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head. "Applejack and I? We've been... been..." She gulped. "...seeing each other."

"Really? That's not hard!" Scootaloo smiled. "I can see you two as well!"

"No, you don't get it, Scoots." Rainbow Dash coughed. "We're... y'know... a pair."

"Heheh... and a totally awesome pair of mares at that!" Scootaloo said with a smile.

"No... it's... dang it..."

Applejack's freckled face lifted. "We're datin', darlin'," she said bluntly, making Rainbow wince. "Rainbow Dash and I are in love. Have been for some time now. I took the day off so she and I could spend some quality time together, y'know... all romantic-like."

Scootaloo stared and stared and stared...

Rainbow Dash bit her bottom lip.

"So... you two are... like... special someponies?" Scootaloo breathed.

"Yeah..." Rainbow nodded, blushing rosily. "Guess you could say that."

Applejack reached a hoof out, rubbing it lovingly atop Rainbow's fetlock. "What can I say? Heheh..." She leaned in to nuzzle the mare. "She's my adorable little jerk."

"Mmmm..." Rainbow glanced aside, her whole body drooping, blushing. "...yeesh, when you say that out in the open."

"So what? Hehehe... I could get used to it."

Scootaloo's eyes blinked wide. "That... is..." She dropped her spoon and practically leapt up and down in her seat. "...so awesome!!!"

"Guh!" Rainbow winced. "Squirt. Don't—!"

"Woohoo!" Scootaloo cheered. "The most awesome pony and the most dependable farm mare! This is the best day ever—"

"Shhhhhhh..." Applejack breathed, calmly waving a hoof. "Simmer down, sugarcube," she murmured.

"What? Why?" Nevertheless, Scootaloo hunkered down, blinking at the two. "Is... is something wrong with—?"

Pinkie Pie stuck her head out of the kitchen. "What's so awesome?"

"Uhhh..." Rainbow's voice cracked. "Dinosaurs!"

"Ha! I agree! Especially stegosauruses!" Pinkie giggled. "Heeeheee! Anyways, back to your suspiciously weird, quiet, and out of character conversation!" And her head and neck shot back into the kitchen.

"Ah-ah-ahem." Applejack smiled at Scootaloo once more. "Ain't nothin' wrong with it, darlin'!" she insisted. "It's just that... we ain't meanin' to show off none." She gulped. "Figured it might... make things a tad bit awkward."

"Huh? Why?" Scootaloo blinked. "Everyone in Ponyville respects you two. They wouldn't find it weird."

"Yeah, well, our friends might," Rainbow Dash said. "We wanna let them find out about it on our own terms. That's why we've been... y'know..." She cleared her throat, leaning against Applejack with a sigh. "...super hush-hush about it."

"Well, I think it's the best news I heard all day!" Scootaloo grinned. "You should totally tell them!"

"And we're mighty happy to hear ya say that, Scootaloo." Applejack said with a warm smile. She hugged Rainbow towards her with a forelimb. "Really, we are. It's just that... some announcements take time to formulate just right."

"And you know that I never settle for anything less than awesome." Rainbow Dash winked aside. "Isn't that right, silly pony?"

"Hmmmmm..." Applejack leaned in to nuzzle the mare's blue neck. "Best taste and worst timin'. I'd lurve it no other way."

"Heeeheeeheee..."

Scootaloo giggled, smiling. "Wow... this is just so cool! To think that all this time you both were—" Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh crud. Oh crud crud crud." She covered her muzzle with two shaking hooves as her ears drooped. "You... you wanted the afternoon all to yourselves, didn't you?"

"Now Scoots—"

"And I just rushed in and messed all of that up!" Scootaloo winced. "Ah jeez. Ah jeez, please forgive me! I'm the absolute worst—"

"Now, none of that, ya hear?!" Applejack's brow furrowed. She reached across the table to pat Scootaloo's fetlock. "It's our fault that we didn't come out and tell ya sooner, sugarcube."

"Besides..." Rainbow smiled. "We totally had the time of our lives."

"Really?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yeah... snkkkt..." Rainbow Dash broke into foalish giggles. "Ya should have seen how hard Applejack was slamming into me with the bumper karts. Heeheehee!"

"Yeah, well..." Applejack blushed, taking her hat off to fan herself. "...it was yer fault for buckin' up the laser war somethin' awful."

"Pffft. As if you were being of much help to our team!"

"Hahaha! You know what's even funnier? I dun give a flyin' feather for ice cream! I hate the stuff!"

"Heeheehee! Oh wow... we're so lame. Hahahaha..."

"Hehehe... so... so it's cool, then?" Scootaloo blinked. "Even if... even if I know that—"

"Believe me, kiddo." Rainbow Dash winked. "I'm glad that you know now. In fact... it makes me feel better."

"Really?"

"Yup! If any pony deserves to share the knowledge of something so awesome, it's you." Rainbow Dash winked. "Just... y'know... don't go shouting it out on the rooftops of Ponyville or something."

"Heh..." Scootaloo crossed her heart and held a hoof up to her left eye. "I promise to keep this between friends."

"Well, we're mighty appreciative of it." Applejack cleared her throat. "But, if ya dun mind, Rainbow and I were hopin' to... uh... spend some quality time alone together." She winked. "Though we wouldn't mind hangin' out with you again on another occasion... minus all the cotton-pickin' pretense, of course."

"Heehee..." Scootaloo saluted. "It's a deal!"

"Now we have ourselves here a whole heapin' load of ice cream," Applejack said, sliding the dish across the table. "I wonder if there's a swell little filly who wouldn't mind puttin' such sweets to good use?"

"Hah!" Scootaloo re-gripped her spoon. "Don't mind if I do!"


The next day, Applejack stood at the front of Cheerilee's classroom, balancing a crate full of apples on her flank. She smiled, staring off with a warm, glowing smile, her happy thoughts a million miles away.

"Attention, class!" Cheerilee trotted before the full desks of bright-eyed youngsters. "It's Apple Bloom's turn for Family Appreciation Day. And to honor the occasion, she's brought in her older sister—the one and only Applejack! Let's give her a round of applause, shall we?"

The fillies and colts stomped their hooves, cheering and whistling.

Apple Bloom trotted up to a podium, shuffling a few sheets of paper. "Ahem..." She smiled at the group. "Today, I'm proud to introduce y'all to my big sister Applejack! Applejack's as courageous and dependable and honest as it gets! Why's that?" Apple Bloom grinned proudly. "I'll tell you why! It's because she's strong! It's because she's a hard-worker! It's because she knows how to farm and buck apples like nopony's business!"

"Heheheh..." Applejack removed her hat and bowed slightly. "Shucks, Apple Bloom..."

Apple Bloom grinned wide, leaning over the podium. "And she's in lurve with the most awesome pegasus ever, Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah, and I'm here to talk to y'all about—" Applejack's green eyes crossed as she dropped her crate of apples. "Buh?"

"Ain't that right, Scootaloo?!" Apple Bloom grinned proudly.

"Woohooo!" Scootaloo pumped a hoof in the air. "Yeahhhhh, buddy!"

"Way to go, Applejack!" Sweetie Belle grinned wide.

"Best. Couple. Ever!" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle faced each other, slapping high-hooves.

The entire schoolroom broke into a collective "Oooooooooooooooooh!" before falling into an insatiable giggling fit.

Cheerilee blinked. She smiled nervously at Applejack.

"Eh heh heh heh..." Applejack slid her hat down and hid her face behind it. "...fetch the wagon, Apple Bloom."

Author's Note:

User: TIAS-A1927
Prompt: "Scootaloo reacts at the discovering that her idol Rainbow Dash is dating Applejack. "

Comments ( 50 )

(I'm writing this comment as I go)

"So... uh... you're too busy feeding pigs to hang out?"

Off topic and I know Ponies do have pigs...but what are they used for again?

I don't think bacon is popular(or even present) at all in the pony community, and I doubt they actually "farm" pigs for their insulin.
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Also. they actually had the technology to do laser tag? They don't even have guns. How in Equestria did natural selection lead to that kind of development. Maybe this plot idea may be more suited for EQG universe rather than the ponyverse. I can visualize the whole scenario happening much easier with them as humans.

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Holy sh- bumper carts? Things are getting out of hand.

-------

Applejack reached a hoof out, rubbing it lovingly atop Rainbow's fetlock. "What can I say? Heheh..." She leaned in to nuzzle the mare. "She's my adorable little jerk."

Scootaloo's eyes blinked wide. "That... is..." She dropped her spoon and practically leapt up and down in her seat. "...so awesome!!!"

I can't see Scoot's reaction being like this. Feels out of character for me, including her denseness a few moments ago in the story also dinosaurs
------
Now, disregarding all the things that I just said and focusing on the idea, plot, and writing style, it was all good. The story was refreshing and short, there were no "boring parts" I found. No problems in the dialogue as well. I like the idea maybe I'm just biased to AJ x RD but I liked it.

"And that's when I decided..." Scootaloo smiled, digging a tiny spoon into her ice cream and taking another sweet bite. "Mmmmm... that if I survive the apocalypse, then I at least want a killer sweet zeppelin all to myself!"

I want to plant a tree and live in one after the end. Find a way to fertilize with my body after my death. Hopeful won't be alone in that.

headbutting buffalo

Pretty sure that's a hate crime, Scootaloo.

Welp, this was friggin' hilarious. And somehow I didn't anticipate that end but of course. Smh

(Also, that is a great song. A very, very great song. Mmmm. :heart:)

7076736
Fertilizer. You didn't think all them apples grew on just earth pony magic did ya?

"Not only are they datin', but sis an' Rainbow Dash are trainin' ta become... PRO WRASSLERS!!!" Shouted Apple Bloom.

I've been feeling down, and this is just what I needed to cheer me up.

After spending the entire day reading chapter after chapter after chapter of Appledashery, this was uplifting.

7076780 Or a warrior handshake.

I'll be honest, not really for me. Felt somehow lacking in substance. And really, there's just the one joke, and it gets tired rather fast.

I can dig this. Cute and fluffy, with a side of perfectly paced.

Blue Harvest would be proud. :rainbowkiss::ajsmug:

:pinkiegasp: Scootaloo broke a Pinkie Pie promise.

7076882
Glad I'm not the only one...

7076836 That can't be the only reason. Cow manure is considered fertilizer and can be used as a substitute. Why waste so much money(bits) and effort to raise pigs if you're just going to use their crap?

7077487

Yes, but the cows TALK. I imagine it would be rather awkward asking Daisy Jo and her pals if they could take a dump in the compost bin.

7077430 No, she said she promised to keep it between friends. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are her friends, and Apple Bloom was the one who told the class. Scootaloo didn't break any promises.

7077494 I figured you'd say that, which is why I introduced my second arguement. The cost of raising pigs is just... too high for just fertilizer. Also, they could always find a substitute for fertilizer. I highly doubt that's the main reason.

Whatever, no point in arguing. Let's just stop.

7077505 Oh right. I was remembering this part.

"Yeah, well, our friends might," Rainbow Dash said. "We wanna let them find out about it on our own terms. That's why we've been... y'know..." She cleared her throat, leaning against Applejack with a sigh. "...super hush-hush about it."

I forgot her exact words when she made the promise.

7076736 the purpose of having pigs is to fulfill the romantic ideal of a farm. It always has me perlexed that we find it romantic to use other sentient beings against their will, especially when we don't need their flesh or secretions. We are a strange species indeed. :pinkiesad2:

///~ Since we can lead healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives without harming those who share this world with us, why wouldn't we? More info here ~\\\

I liked this from the premise alone. And do anything wrong Scootaloo? No...No, of course you didn't. Note, that was sarcasm.

She twitched suddenly, then gave the violet emblem on her flank a squinting glance. "Oh right. Eheh..."

Oh man, this was gold. I hope they do something like this in S6. The CMC start up on some project "Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in 'X'! Yaaay!" and then half of Ponyville deadpans and points at their butts. "Oh... right."

skittles X Apples ship post

Scootaloo giggled, smiling. "Wow... this is just so cool! To think that all this time you both were—" Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh crud. Oh crud crud crud." She covered her muzzle with two shaking hooves as her ears drooped. "You... you wanted the afternoon all to yourselves, didn't you?"
"Now Scoots—"
"And I just rushed in and messed all of that up!" Scootaloo winced. "Ah jeez. Ah jeez, please forgive me! I'm the absolute wor

scootaloo is best worst monster kid

Too cute! Oh and congrats on the feature

"And that's when I decided..." Scootaloo smiled, digging a tiny spoon into her ice cream and taking another sweet bite. "Mmmmm... that if I survive the apocalypse, then I at least want a killer sweet zeppelin all to myself!"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasdf

Comment posted by Paleobrony deleted Mar 31st, 2016

Heheh, three best ponies have an adorable day of fun.
I'm so on board with this story.

Hoh damn, an OK Go song in the Author's Note? Somehow, this makes the story even better.

I liked it. It's cute and fun fluff, which I've always been a fan of. Scootaloo was Scootaloo, which was good. This is just a really fun piece.

7076780
It's not a buffalo hate crime, buffalo! It's a buffalo treasured part of buffalo culture, buffalo, buffalo!

7076736 Easy, they export pigs to the Griffons.

7079913 That's sensible market-wise :pinkiecrazy:

Well now. I see how it is. You've only gone and let off some of that Appledash steam here, rather than in Appledashery, huh?:trixieshiftright:

I feared you'd pop with all the building suspense or something but no, you've only gone behind our backs!!!!:twilightangry2:

I kid:rainbowwild: awesome story, as always. :twilightsmile:

Have they ever learn? Pinkie Pie knows.

7076736
7077728
Word of faust says that they "needed a place to stay, plus truffles!" can't find the link tho

:pinkiegasp:......:flutterrage: Did Scoots break a Pinkie Promise???????

"Don't stop now, Rainbow!" Scootaloo chimed. "You almost had Applejack in a headlock!" She grinned with a blank stare. "Only you could do a headlock while your face is so close to her butt!"

Only Rainbow Dash can....only her

Dash and AJ didn't know what they unleashed when they asked Scoots to keep it between friends, did they? :rainbowlaugh:

7083032 well, they did say keep it between friends. Scoots told applebloom who told the others :applejackconfused:

This is WONDERFUL! :rainbowkiss: Holy shit, your portrayal of Scootaloo is the cutest. Actually, every pony in this fic is the cutest. How hasn't this story gotten more views?!

I had a smile plastered on my face throughout this entire story. Fucking loved it.

"Heheheheh... take care, Scoots!" Apple Bloom said with a wave, then reluctantly turned back to the oinking livestock. "Knowin' my odds, I'll earn my cutie mark in hog-wallowin'." She twitched suddenly, then gave the violet emblem on her flank a squinting glance. "Oh right. Eheh..." Hear ears folded. "...I plum forgot."

Did you too, for a second there? :rainbow wild:

"Why don't you, Miss Sexy-And-Honest-Applejack!" Thud!

This is so quotable.

"Did you get attacked by a snake or something?" Scootaloo's eyes narrowed with momentary concern. "There are tiny bite marks all across your neck and muzzle!" She craned her neck. "Oh jeez! And your cutie mark as well—"

"Ha HA!" Rainbow Dash blurred forward on flapping wings. "Okay, Scoots! It's... uhm... t-time to go!"

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
This entire story was bloody hilarious.:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Sweetie Belle the marshmallow, and I already knew A.B would tell the CMC but the class! :rainbowlaugh:

Deal!" Scootaloo plopped her helmet back on and blurred her wings. "Be bells with there on... erm... y-you know wh-what I mean!" Fwoooosh! The filly coasted over the nearby hillside.

Bells on what now? Explain? Confused...:rainbowhuh:

"Sweetie Belle is a slightly evolved talking marshmallow."

YES!

Pinkie giggled. "Heeeheee! Anyways, back to your suspiciously weird, quiet, and out of character conversation!" And her head and neck shot back into the kitchen.

She even breaks the fourth wall here...

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #76.

My review can be found here.

Bumper cars + Romance = Sledgehammer going through my head.

Nopony’s gonna get that...

This is on EqD's list of best CMC stories for CMC day.

"Ha! I agree! Especially stegosauruses!" Pinkie giggled. "Heeeheee! Anyways, back to your suspiciously weird, quiet, and out of character conversation!" And her head and neck shot back into the kitchen.

Okay, I have GOT to stop reading in class. I have had to explain just what was so frakking funny to my professors way too many times. (This one was SO worth it though!)

I love it when skirts writes stuff that has a cohesive narrative but isn’t 1000000000000 words long

"Don't stop now, Rainbow!" Scootaloo chimed. "You almost had Applejack in a headlock!" She grinned with a blank stare. "Only you could do a headlock while your face is so close to her butt!"

......im dying this is the best thing I've ever read..

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