• Member Since 28th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen March 26th

YoshiFawful64


Just a geek who likes to read a good fanfic once in a while (by which I mean all the time). I also occasionally attempt to write things.

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Applejack and Rainbow Dash have been dating for a month, and their relationship is flourishing. However, Applejack suddenly finds it hard to get a hold of the pegasus, whose reasons for not spending time with her are getting more and more dubious...

Entry for AppleDash Contest #4, in the categories "Exploring the Past" and "A Minor Character With a Speaking Role"

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

This is nice! the motives are real, and it feels real too. And cute!!!

Nice story. Good luck in the competition.

Well this was a pleasant read.
If there's one thing I might critique, though, it's that Rainbow acts a little too mature and level-headed when dealing with Gilda. I was half expecting her to blow up in Gilda's face, though I'm glad it didn't come to that. AJ as well seemed a little too alright with being repeatedly snubbed, but her conclusion to what was going on felt real enough. Character gripes aside, it's nice seeing these characters portrayed as being intelligent.

All that side, I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work!

"Scootaloo, of course! We went adventuring through the Everfree. It was tons of fun. There were timberwolves and a cockatrice, and maybe an explosion or two. Oh, and I think we may have stopped an ancient evil prophecy from coming true. You know, sister stuff."

That caught me completely unprepared. I fear I might've woken up some of my roommates.
I'm with Mister Friendly concerning his advice about young Gilda and young Dash. Though I don't think AJ acted out of her way. Maybe compared to how she used to be. But after so much they've been through, she just... adapted, learned, grew to be a better pony - including being a more patient pony.

It's a nice little piece and yes - it's great to see them being portrayed as intelligent.

Thank you.

7027506
Thanks a lot for the feedback! And yeah, I had a few apprehensions about the Gilda scene, but I wasn't really sure how else to handle it, plus the contest deadline was coming up. I guess it'll be a learning experience.
Oh, and if you did wake up your roommates, send them my apologies. :derpytongue2:
I really need to start responding to comments on my fics more.

not really my ship, but really good!

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