• Published 29th Nov 2015
  • 3,344 Views, 43 Comments

You Left Me Standing At My Front Door - milesprower06



Now a student of Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer tries to pour out her broken heart to the only friend she had twenty years ago.

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Dear Sunburst

You Left Me Standing At My Front Door
by milesprower06


Dear Sunburst,

I'm not sure if you remember me, but we grew up together. We were best friends. At least, you were my best friend. We did absolutely everything together. We were in the same classes, we loved the same books, we liked all the same games...

Then came that fateful day when you got your cutie mark. We were playing jenga with all the books in my house. Now that I have gone back and reflected on it, I remember having so much more fun playing than you were. When you stopped that tower of books from collapsing on me, and you experienced that surge of magic that instantly sorted them and put them all away... It was like I wasn't even there. You ignored me completely in your excitement. We did everything together, and instead of hugging me and celebrating your achievement with me, you didn't even give me a second thought, running right past me to go outside to your parents, who whisked you away to Canterlot, and I never saw you again.

You were the only one who was there for me, Sunburst. Maybe you didn't understand that. My mom and dad weren't as nearly as involved in my upbringing as your parents were in yours, and there is no doubt in my mind that that was part of the problem too. Your parents took you to the entrance exam for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Mine didn't. I had to learn to wield that immense power all by myself, and with all that potential and no one to guide me, it wasn't long before I became dangerous. I didn't get my cutie mark until more than a year after you left, and by then I hated that you had left me. I felt so inadequate because you got yours first and forgot about me. That turned into jealousy. I was jealous of you getting yours before me, because we were similar in so many ways. I didn't want to accept that some ponies just grow apart. Without guidance, that jealousy finally turned into a very real hate for one of the staples of our species and society; the cutie mark. I came to accept that cutie marks and individuality did nothing but drive ponies apart, and before long, I knew I had the power to do something about it. I gained followers, and I stripped them of their talents and individuality for years. Finally, I was happy again. Ponies who would never leave me or each other, because they were no longer different.

But it wasn't meant to be. The Tree of Harmony sent Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends to my village, and two days later, my followers revolted, and my utopia collapsed. It was a fate worse than death to me... To see everything I had built be destroyed, and be left completely alone, again.

Despite everything I had done, they all forgave me. Twilight, her friends, and my followers, who had chosen to stay together in the village I made. When I convinced myself to return to "Our Town" to make amends, I was half-expecting them to lynch me.

Now thanks to Twilight, I have the counsel I needed all those years ago. If I have everypony's forgiveness, why can't I forgive myself yet? Is it because I'm wondering if I need to forgive you first? Do you even remember me? If you do, do you realize what you did to me? Do you care?

I'm a grown mare now, and I am just now learning about the magic of friendship; the magic I was learning about with you, Sunburst, and you took that magic away from me when you got your mark.

Why did you forget about me? Why wasn't I good enough for your friendship? Why-


Starlight dropped the quill onto the scroll as she failed to get her crying under control.

"Starlight, are you alright?" Twilight asked, coming up to her, offering her a handkerchief, and putting a hoof around her shoulder.

"What am I doing?" She asked her mentor, voice shaking and tears rolling down her cheeks. "It happened two decades ago. What would he think of this? How does he deserve a letter like this after twenty years?"

Starlight sat back to avoid staining her letter with her tears any further.

"All I'm writing is that I'm accusing him of abandoning me..."

"What you're doing," Twilight began, "Is pouring out the contents of your heart, and it's been broken for a long time, Starlight. Because you didn't let yourself heal. You didn't want to be hurt again. Your family didn't teach you that some ponies grow apart as their paths through life begin to split and branch out. But now you're not bottling it up anymore. There it is, right there in front of you... And you don't have to know what to do with it right away. This is going to take time. Maybe Sunburst doesn't need the letter. Maybe you do."

Starlight took a deep, shuddering breath, and began to get herself under control.

"Let me tell you about a friend of mine. Her name is Moondancer. We also went to the same school, had all the same things in common, and when I came to Ponyville, what I did to her was a lot like what Sunburst did to you. I left town without so much as a goodbye, and I didn't realize what I had done until a few years later. I almost took a pinata stick to the head when I finally got through to her with an apology. But the difference is, you were so much younger when it happened to you, and you haven't heard from Sunburst since. If your parents didn't help you through it, then yeah, I can see how that would mess you up. Starlight, I'm afraid that you have some very real abandonment issues, and I'm going to help you get through them. That's my promise as your teacher."

Starlight sniffled, and nodded.

"Thank you, Twilight. I'm... I'm not sure I can finish this yet."

"You don't have to. Take all the time you need to sort it out. Sleep on it, and see how you feel in the morning." Twilight reassured her, before turning and leaving the dining room. Save for the candle holder with the trio of candles that Starlight was writing by, the dining room was darkened in the late evening.

Starlight rolled up the parchment, took it and the candles in the grasp of her magic, and got up to retire for the night.

The castle was awfully barren, especially during the night, but even in the day; Starlight hoped that Twilight would take her advice and hire at least some security. It had been laughably easy to get inside and recline on Fluttershy's throne, waiting for her to return from her lecture in Canterlot.

Twilight's bedroom was on the second floor, while the apprentice's quarters she had furnished for her was on the ground floor, next to the library. Not only had Twilight reasoned with her, and offered her guidance, but she had also provided her with a place to live. She was determined to make herself worthy of what she had been given. She would open herself up, learn all she could, and hopefully begin to heal after so many years of hurt.

She entered her quarters, and set the candlestick on the nightstand. She sat on the side of the bed, and unfurled the scroll. She read through it, and found her throat tighten and her eyes tear up as she approached the point she had stopped writing.

No, she wasn't ready.

She opened the drawer of her nightstand, rolled the scroll back up, and placed it inside. She looked over at the dresser on the wall adjacent to the bed, and looked at herself in the mirror that made up the top portion.

All she saw was the abandoned, heartbroken filly from twenty years ago.

She took another deep breath as fresh tears rolled down her face. She turned away, back to the nightstand, and blew out the trio of candles on the nightstand, leaving only the moonlight that came through the window. She pulled back the covers and slipped into bed, determined to wake up just a little bit stronger each and every day...

And one day soon, she hoped to be strong enough to finish that letter.

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Comments ( 43 )

I totally get what you're doing here with this story. But while i agree with Starlight having a right to feel the way she does, I don't really think she deserves redemption. After all she was willing to condemn Equestria to several different horrible futures where countless ponies would have died and suffered. (Just because Twi and her friends stopped her from being evil) not to She enslaved an entire town to her beliefs. And no matter what the show says about redemption there is absolutely no way to come back from the hate she was suffering from all those years.

And why didn't starlight go to Canterlot city herself? Why didn't she send any letters to sunburst? Why would she not at least TRY to keep their friendship alive? It's not like any of these would have been particularly hard to do. Starlight abondoned Sunburst just as much as Sunburst abandoned her.

I'm not trying to hate on your story or anything (it was really good) but I feel as though the haters of the finale have some justifiable reasons to hate. (I myself actually liked the finale.)

6679553
You do know that she had no idea about how bad the futures were until Twilight herself showed her what exactly was happeneing with all her tampering.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/11/29/1032466__safe_solo_screencap_animated_floppy+ears_sad_frown_gritted+teeth_starlight+glimmer_loop.gif
Her face during part of it implies she's finally connecting the dots.

6679565 so how was she not affected by the time travel? How did she stay in that same reality when all the other ponies were affected? They never did explain how that works.

6679622

Time spell likely has a built in ripple effect protection. Since Twilight, Spike, and Starlight went through, all three were immune.

6679622
Well the spell was tied to the Map of Harmony, so it was possibly shielding her along with Twilight and Spike. It could be the map recognized that Starlight could only be stopped if she wanted to be stopped, and it couldn't do that if her actions in altering the timeline led to her being killed or enslaved or something else.

6679553
The city may have been too far away to visit or she may not know his address. Or worse, it would be both and if she did go she would have no idea where to go which is a very dangerous situation anywhere. This happened to me once, since one of the best friends I ever had and I moved at around the same time and neither one of us knew what the addressed were before we moved. So I have not seen or heard from them in over a decade.

Hope to see more done with this idea. I like it a lot.

I entirely forgot about Moondancer and Twilight. How this episode is an exact mirror of that, something that you just brought to my mind that is making me think about everything that everyone else is saying about this episode and pushing it to the side. The connections between the two are... wow.

You deserve a slow clap for this. People like you are the reason why this fandom is just so magical.

Agreed, Sunburst didn't even LOOK at her, or SPEAK to her, when they're supposed to be the closest of friends? Right after SAVING HER? Is it any wonder Glimmer blamed cutie marks? Rather than blame her best friend for ditching her?

6679553 I thought that too, but I remembered how when I was younger a lot of my ONLY friends would move. Fact of the matter is, when your friends move far away, it's hard to keep in contact. Chances are, she didn't get the address, or if she wrote he never answered, not out of malice, but because he was busy. She definitely couldn't just go and visit, because one, he was at school, and two, they lived in Canterlot now. From the map, that is reaaaalllly far away, which implies an expense to go with it.
Also, from what I saw, she was happy for Sunburst, until he waltzed right past her and didn't say a word. He celebrated with his family and everyone but couldn't even give her a high-five. Maybe he was just excited, but as a kid, that little rejection hurts A LOT. Like finding out you are the only one not invited to a friends birthday.

In short, she was probably so hurt by Sunburst ignoring her in a time when she wanted to celebrate his happiness that by the time she got the courage to see him, he was gone. Or she just told herself, that he would come by later....play with her tomorrow, right? Well, he's just busy, and would talk later... and then he moved. Kids don't always know how to reach out at that age, not without being shown how.

I wish I could give poor Starlight a huge hug man....:fluttercry:

This was great. Amazing even :twilightsmile:

This is very much an echo of how I would interpret Starlight's situation to make her at least a bit more likable. And honestly, if they went that route in the show, Season 6 would be off to a great start. Minus a few grammatical errors here and there, I really enjoyed this epilogue. Well done. :twilightsmile:

Very good, and a definitie improvement over an origin story that was admittedly barren. The idea was there, but the execution due to the pacing made it feel like a very weak justifcation for the monster Starlight Glimmer became. With details like this, it becomes a bit easier to see why she ended up the way she did.

Invited you to Reformed Starlight Glimmer because this fanfic was awesome. I hope you accept this invitation.:trollestia:

6680002
Which says something about Starlight Glimmer. Despite her rage (that can be very strongly argued DROVE HER COMPLETELY INSANE) she didn't blamed her friend or focus her rage on him. Instead she blamed his cutie mark, showing she still cared enough not hate her friend.

Jealousy is still inexcusable for being a small spark in a large leap towards being the most dangerous unicorn in all of Equestria. This could have happened to Apple Bloom.

6681694 How do you invite people to groups?

By the way, the official map names it Starlight's Village.

Also, Starlight's presence in Amending Fences and What About Discord? foreshadows the finale. What About Discord? Mentions the dangers of time travel, and Amending Fences draws parallel to Starlight's situation.

6682288 The crew referred to it as "Our Town" during production, and left it up to the fandom to come up with something more. So far, the wiki has stuck with Our Town, which I find quite fitting all on its own.

6682988 Welcome to OurTown home to the creepy smiling ponies

Dear Starbright,

Sorry do I know you?

Sincerely,
Sunburst

6681924
Apple Bloom could've become the most dangerous unicorn in Equestria?

6683992 Thank you for the enthusiasm, but I have no plans to continue this at this time.

This is incredible, especially for being written in such a short amount of time. That letter nicely encapsulates everything that needed to be said about the situation.

I know you don't plan to continue this, which is fine, but I must believe that Starlight will either send the letter, or run into Starburst and bury the hatchet (figuratively or literally) without needing to.

Y'know, I've really noticed something in seeing reactions to S5's finale – people either identify with Starlight or they don't, and that colours whether they liked the finale and whether they felt her redemption was justified. I grok Starlight, very vocally so. Like I said before, I've been where she was, and if I had a fraction of her talent (and magic existed) I couldn't rule out doing something similar – "Get Over It" doesn't always work, and it saddens me that so many "fans" have such hard hearts that they refuse to see that.

(PS - I apologize it took me so long to actually get to reading this; I've had my own stuff to work on)

6684989 SEQUELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

6686315 Would a prequel suffice? I'm brainstorming that now.

6686355 We just want more, sequel would be nice, a prequel would be nice as well.
Seriously though, I'd love to see this carry on as a life story for Starlight, and I'd even help you if you wanted.

6686420 I'm hoping Season 6 does that.

All I'm doing is expanding on scenes that didn't get enough attention in the finale.

6684971 Anything's possible, especially if it means more brony fodder.

nice, hope my upcoming starlight fic works out as well

6688578 Same, but for some reason, Story Approval is taking much, much longer than it usually does.

This? This just changed my perspective on Starlights reason for being so damn hurt. A couple weeks back, I was going through a serious depression and I was hurt by one of my friends. The reason why I was hurt seems so stupid now, especially to others, but dammit, whenever I think about it, it just fucking hurts so damn much.

Whenever I told someone how I felt, they just told me that people mess up, that they do things they didn't mean to do, that I shouldn't take it so personally... But that only made it worse.

My friend left me standing at that front door, alone, wondering what was so wrong with me that she couldn't even spare me a first thought, let alone a second one. And after realizing that I know how Starlight felt firsthand... I don't think I blame her for going the way she did.

The feels truly are real.

Love all the post finale Starlight stories popping up.

You know I had two friends back in high school. One was the same age as me, and the other two years my younger. I hung out with them all the time, and to me they were brothers. I would've literally killed and died for them.

And then one day, not long after I left for college, they just stopped talking to me. I couldn't get in contact with them through any method. I have no idea if it was something I did or if they just felt I was too childish or whatever. I never got an answer.

I've kind of let it go. I've accepted that I'm probably never going to see or hear from them again, and I'll never get an answer. But I really would've liked to.

I think this is actually a pretty good story, not just for Starlight Glimmer, but in general. Sometimes, we just don't get what we want.

6690001
Not unless you're one of the Mane 6

This brings up a good point, he didn't even LOOK at her or interact with her at all when he got his cutie mark, and well, fictional or not, ponies are herd animals, and well, Starlight saw her "herd" ripped apart by a cutie mark, just, like, that. Is it any wonder she had a seething psychotic hatred of them? Another good point, is that this DOES mirror Twilight and Moondancer in a way, except Moondancer shut herself out from the world, plunging into books, Starlight, took another path. Well played, well played. It's people like you that really make things worth it.

6686565 And you did a great job.

At first I thought the explanation in the show for her actions was kind of silly and that she overreacted but now I have to agree with her. I've experienced something similar and letting go is definitely not easy. Especially when people you considered as friends completely ignore you because of one mistake, even after all the things you helped them through.

Now that I think about it from a personal perspective, yeah, Starlight had pretty damn good reasons to freak out and start a cult.

Wow, this is incredible. Abandonment issues are tough to work through (I'm currently working through my own with my dad-let's just say growing up an only child was awesome, but I'm starting to realize being an only adult sucks sometimes). I thought Sunburst was, frankly, a jerk for reacting the way he did to getting his mark. He couldn't take a minute to celebrate with his so-called best friend? I realize he was young, but still, not cool.

I think the best part of this fic is that it still fits into canon even now.

Nice story even in 2020.
Damn,i just wanna say good work bro,
I ready to translate it into Chinese,are you accept?
I mean,I will translate it into Chinese and leave a link here.
I believe that broies in China will love this story

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