• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 minutes ago

The Cyan Recluse


I'm reclusive. It's right there in the name.

E

Chrysalis is beaten. Her invasion of Canterlot has failed. Her hive has been scattered to the winds. And with Equestria on guard, love is in short supply. She has failed her people, and now the future looks bleak and grim.

But there’s a change in the air. Chrysalis can feel it in her bones and in her dreams. Something is calling to her, drawing her and the remnants of her hive north. To the place the changelings once called home.

Placed sixth in the August 2015 Write-Off Event: Distant Shores.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 107 )

So why she feel like she was surrounded by endless waves and grey skies?
why did she

All around here the horizon ran unbroken,
her


Beautiful, I loved every word of it!

As I think you realized in your author's notes, the idea that the Crystal Heart and the Changelings are connected has been addressed by others before. However, I haven't seen anyone write such a touching image of homecoming out of it.

If you ever decide to continue this story, I'll be watching. But if you don't, it's a nicely closed piece.

Well done.

An excellent metaphor within the story.

What a great bit of headcanon and storytelling! :heart:

This was amazing!!! The headcanon, the emotion, the description, all of it! I especially loved how you blended the dream and real life together at the end. And all of this without any dialogue whatsoever!!

Simply amazing. 5 Spikes out of 5

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

IDW screwed up a little...

WHY!?

Damn, that was excellent.

More please?

The last time she had felt such a draw, it had led her to Canterlot. To the pink alicorn Princess. And to the disaster of the royal wedding.

This is an interesting line. Chrysalis is subconsciously drawn to large amounts of love -- would she drawn to Cadence herself?

6656540
Curses! I thought I had fixed all of those... Okay, honestly? I never believed I'd found all my errors. There are places on the internet where my typos have become legends in and of themselves. :twilightblush: So thank you for pointing those out.... And now they're fixed!

6657284
I imagine that as a changeling, Chrysalis is always drawn to strong sources of love. But in this case, she was drawn to Cadence because Cadence is tied to the Crystal Empire (her cutie mark IS the crystal heart after all.) When she followed that draw, she discovered the wedding, and all that love being thrown around and wasted by ponies. Filled with hunger, greed, and jealousy, not to mention confused by the feeling of familiarity Cadence instilled, Chrysalis hatched her kidnapping and invasion plan.

Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out a way to include that bit of explanation for Chrysalis's previous actions in the story without disrupting its flow. Oh well!

there needs to be a sequel about the restored changers life in the Empire.

You know, I have a theory (and a-fic-in-progress) which shares around 60% of its ideas with this... Awesome job with connecting the dots!:heart:!! I have thought of that myself long ago, but I really like to see somepony who has found it out him/herself!:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

Lovely story.

Oh, this was wonderful. I loved it! I've always been fond of linking the Changelings and the Crystal Empire in some way, and this was a beautiful piece.

Very well written, and an interesting headcanon.

It would be a very interesting time soon afterward, Cadence and Chrysalis coming to terms with their history.

D48

That was absolutely fantastic. The themes and plot may not have been anything particularly unique, but the execution was nothing short of exceptional. I loved the way you wove the three threads together and especially how Chrysalis's dreams blurred together with the waking world at the end as she reached her body's limits at the end of the story. All in all this was a true gem of great writing which did exactly what it set out to do with plenty of detail, plenty of loving attention given to word choice to make it really shine, and no superfluous plot threads to distract from the soul of the story.

Much preferable representation of a link between the Crystal Empire and the Changelings than having the Crystal Ponies throw out Cadance and Shining Armor as soon as Chrysalis shows up.

6657669
Sorry, another typo for you:

Once she may had had the strength to fight past these monsters.

"May had had" doesn't make sense. "May have had" should work better.

i hope there is a part two for this....

Love the imagery, love the world-building, love the presentation. Love the story.

bravo, sir, bravo!

orig05.deviantart.net/9488/f/2012/141/b/4/octavia_slow_clap_by_eniacc-d50n5a5.gif

Just going to leave this here

A couple nitpicks:

Water logged

Waterlogged

Long ago in ages passed,

past,

This seems so close to the pre-history of my own story "Blacklight" The queen seeking a new and safe home.

Headcanon accepted. Thank you for writing this.

This...this is beautiful. I don't even know where to begin...it's going in my favs and best of the best.

This is fine on its own, but would also serve as a great starting point for a longer arc.

Was it just me or did anyone else feel any The Little Drummer Boy vibes from the march to the Crystal Empire?

Totally and utterly worth all the upvotes, favourites and positive comments it will ever get. A ridicolously good one shot. Congratulations Cyan Recluse!

This was pretty wow
It could do with another installment
Kinda like a before and after thing

I would love to see a take on how this would continue. Would the Crystal Ponies truly remember the Changers? Would the Equestrians accept, or tolerate them? What about Cadence? Seeing the truth of the Changelings, would she, and maybe even Shining Armor, forgive them? Oh man, I really want to see a continuation now!

This is an amazing story!:heart:

And if you are feeling up to it I, as well as the rest of your fans, would love to see this story continue.:twilightsmile:

Rather evocative, nicely done.

That was excellent. Usually I'm more of a fan of Changeling redemption requiring more personal reformation (love and friendship and all that), but for a one-shot I think this works excellently. All the races of Equestria are tied to magic, I think it makes a lot of sense that the Changelings are only parasitic because their magic isn't "whole". I think this headcanon "fills" the role quite nicely!

6657669
You don't have to include that. Some questions are okay to leave a little bit open even if you do have an explanation :twilightsmile:

Oh man, dude.

Oh man.

I don't think more than one other MLP fanfiction has legitimately made me cry.

Good crying, mind. I always get teary over stories, fictional or real, of genuine love and compassion. And that scene with the crystal ponies bringing them in... Man. I still have a tear on my cheek. That was beautiful. That was joy in written form. Thank you for coming up with this; it's so refreshing to see such a genuinely uplifting story, and so well told.

Headcanon accepted. :)

6657239 I don't see how, IDW, or more specifically Katie Cook and Andy Price, "screwed up." All they did was do their own thing with Chrysalis and the changelings in the comics and more power to them for it, instead of just riding on the coattails of what was popular in the fandom and its fanfiction. Also, considering they're going for the 'Always Chaotic Evil' trope with the changelings there, while it's not everyone's thing, it makes sense with that in mind.

Personally, I think this is a good story. It's a backstory or one similar that has been done before, sure, but the author handles it pretty well, and manages to do so without using a word of dialogue. The history and lore were especially good aspects: normally, it's Discord who is the one who changed them, so making it Sombra was a good unique touch. And points alone for having the Crystal Ponies remember their former countrymen and helped them out without a question, as well as the Equestrian Guards simply letting them do it without objection. I know I've said this many a time before, it's good to see a changeling story, be it a "redemption" or otherwise, where the ponies are characterized as being more rightfully fearful and wary instead of being turned into fan-typically obnoxious jerkasses who "kick them while they're down."

I don't know if the author plans to write a follow-up or not, although I personally wouldn't since it already wraps up pretty nicely as it is. Even if the authors does though, I say they've got a good set-up and characterization going on here to work with.

So to the author personally, I say; while Always Chaotic Evil is more my thing, I appreciate this story for what it is and doing it well. Nicely done.

6661952 I like this version better though.

6657669

Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out a way to include that bit of explanation for Chrysalis's previous actions in the story without disrupting its flow. Oh well!

Well I can't speak for anyone else, but I got it. Took me a bit of pondering over the line, mind you, but I got it. And I think you made the right call by not having the story dwell on it.

Excellent story and head canon, might use it in the future (if thats okay)
also, sequel?

this was lovely!

6659827
6660669
Fixed and fixed! Wow, it's a good thing I'm not offering a cash reward for corrections! I'd be broke in a day! :twilightblush:

6657260
6657918
6660165
6660921
6661058
6661218
6661307
6662568
I'm afraid that there's pretty much zero chance of a sequel to this story. It really was written to just be a one-shot. I mean, there's not a single line of dialogue, or a physical description of anything anywhere! I never really had any idea what the 'restored' changelings would look like either. Also, well... 'Quit While Your Ahead' seems to apply. this story has suddenly become popular well beyond my greatest expectations. :yay: I really not sure I could do it justice if I tried to continue it. :rainbowderp:

I am sorta tempted to write an addendum from Shining Armor and Cadences point of view, as an army of changelings advances on their new home... And arrives half dead. (I'd actually wanted to include a bit of that here, but it just didn't work with the narrative.) If I ever do manage to write such a thing, I'm not sure if I should tack it on to this story s another chapter or not, since it is tagged as 'completed' already. Either way, it would be fairly short and cover the same period of time, so it wouldn't really be a sequel.

6662732 You should do what you feel is right, naturally. As it is, it's fine and doesn't really need anything else.

I am sorta tempted to write an addendum from Shining Armor and Cadences point of view, as an army of changelings advances on their new home... And arrives half dead. (I'd actually wanted to include a bit of that here, but it just didn't work with the narrative.) If I ever do manage to write such a thing, I'm not sure if I should tack it on to this story s another chapter or not, since it is tagged as 'completed' already. Either way, it would be fairly short and cover the same period of time, so it wouldn't really be a sequel.

Yeah, it depends if the end result honestly is worth being added on or made into its own thing at all. I'm a bit hesitant though, given the history of Chrysalis redemption where stories where the royal couple are involved. Not sure if you know about that, but long story short, there's a real tendency for authors to have either Shining or Cadence or both act like obsessed, bitter, one-note jerkasses (not 'stubborn'; jerkasses) so to promote Chrysalis who they're trying to redeem and make look better for standing against them, as well as get a rise out of the readers.

Now given what we saw from the way ponies in this story, who are portrayed far more as being far more wary and worried for their own safety than vengeful and bloodthirsty, I sincerely hope that the latter would be the case in your story if you choose to write it; that they'd be prepared for battle to protect their new home, their subjects and the Crystal Heart from invasion, only to find their subjects bringing changeling refugees in, leaving them flummoxed and dumbfounded as to what they're supposed to do other than stand aside, as we saw with some ponies here. It'd certainly be a welcome change to what he normally get.

If you go for it or not, you've written a good piece here, and so I tip my hat to you.

That wad beautiful. The interlinking threads, the rhythmical nature, the perfect pace, all the fells.

Wouldn't mind seeing more in this verse.

Cya
Raziel-chan

Rarely does the work of anyone else inspire a feeling of jealousy in me like this does. Your skill with the written word is impressive, to say the least.

Nice world building headcannon. Damn now I want to read about Cadence and Chrysalis making up and discussing this revelation.

I have few words to say on this.

I just hope you do more with it. Or at least, allow somepony else to.

Beautiful, i cried, 10/10, a master Peace. this is how i feel about this story. i love it

Oh my god is this story beautiful. A shame there won't be a sequel. Thank you for writing this wonderful piece. :twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!