- Member Since 6th May, 2014
- offline last seen 42 minutes ago
Enigmatic Otaku
Write stories. Acquire followers and moderate horsefame.
Enigmatic Otaku
Joined 6th May, 2014 ·
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Featured In11
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Nice author's note.
well...i have a new ship
Y'know... Luna *might* be willing to pay extra for a three-way!
Also, as a general note? I'd recommend strongly against using "slither" in any way that's intended to be arousing. "Writhing," "sliding," even "wriggling," but "slithering" just evokes images of snakes and vermin.
6516572
There, I hope that raises your donger.
In the hypothetical sequel, I hope that all ponies involved sport massive, very much real, dongers
Soooo... First, I'm 120% satisfied by that commission ! I warmly recommend that Otaku boy if you have any com for him ! 8D
So, the fic itself is... Well, I'll say that the rhythm is perfect. Especially the humor who's working centrally around Vinyl, and that emphasis her being the main character.
I love the gags and the wordplay. I love the way Luna is writhed and how the narration explains Vinyl's reactions and feelings ; it's always funny and right on the target. The clop part is also very well rated, just enough "crudity" and enough "romanticism". I think it is well balanced.
And to work out a good analogy : I'm satisfied of Otaku boy just as much as Luna is satisfied of Vinyl in this fic ! 8D
So I eagerly paraphrase Luna in saying : "I'd most enjoy it if I can count on you again."
My Jimmies have been rustled and my donger is raised.
Did... Did Octy just flip Vinyl's table, figuratively?
With or without your permission, I WILL find a place I can use this line.
6530412
Heh heh, send me a link when you do.
How does that work?
6530567
Well, step one involves one of said party to be angry.
Step two is luring the angry party into the bedroom.
Step three is ???????
Step four....profit!
6530579 no. How does asking for a peanut butter sandwich make her mad enough for "angry sex"?
6530582
Reread the beginning part. The treat Vinyl saved for later.
6530596 oh. That's why. I would've been punched if by the victim if I did that.
This was amasing
Luna best princess vinyl best side pony
.
After story reading: the end there.
cute pic.
All the best clopfics come with useful educational blurbs at the end.
6653769
You wouldn't happen to be the same Space Kitty from Deviant art who now goes by SambaNeko, would you?
6653841
Ah... Well, this is awkward...
PffffffftHahahahaha oh my sides you sir have earned a like and a favorite
Pretty decennt story, but for its contents was rather short. Solution: MORE PORN!
6794746
That's the solution for everything!
6794759 Do you take wallet dust bunnies as payment?
6794800
Why, are you considering hiring me for a commission?
Thus was amazingly silly
What you did there... I see it
ain't that right, Maurice!?
6947302
yvonneashlee.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/trying-not-to-laugh-o.gif
6947343 This story was good! Not great, but good. Still sitting at the edge of my seat for Third Roomate's update though!
Is that supposed to be a threat?
Good story!
After I saw the coverart I didn't expected that kind of story but something more friendly and sensual.
But a good rutting is fine,too.
Well, that was fun.
Would be interesting, if there was some continuity to that, in some more-or-less distant future.
The prose was confusing in places.
I want to say there was one or two other lines like this, with marehood as a keyword? Anyway, since 'mouth' or 'face' isn't used the lines give the impression that they are face to face, crotch to crotch, only to be jarred by the rest of the prose stating that they are actually engaged in oral. Kept having to flip them around in my head, and that killed the immersion.
We are amused! >:V
There's a formula these stories run through where there's a set up establishing the characters in their normal environment before moving onto the kinky stuff. Often I find this first stage drags on more than a little, but sometimes I find the preliminary stage to be quite endearing. This is one of those few times, though I can't quite place why.
Lovers chosen by committee. Hard to think of anything that could be more gag-worthy.
This line seems misplaced. While arguably necessary to explain the narrative, it really should have gone back when Luna was explaining the committee thing to justify that she would have been fine with any pony who met the base qualifications, regardless of their sex.
This was a Nowacking style of Vinyl, wasn't it? That's the impression I got, at least.
I'm in lurve with this fic's concept. Not so much with horse smex. But I decided to read it anyways. While I found the dialogue and lore-y bits all throughout to be engaging, I felt that the combination of this story's cover art and synopsis conveyed the exposition most effectively on their own. I really don't think we needed any of the stuff preceding Vinyl's arrival in the cafe in order to have made this fic work. I know it's a commissioned piece and all, so perhaps you were constrained by the nature of the request to pace it in a specific fashion, but I imagined this fic could have started in the middle and had a far firmer punch. Still, at least we got to see more of Vinyl's personality, and you made her curiously relateable and straight-forward. Not bad.
The pacing does bring some stuff into question, though. Would you call this a "smut fic?" Or, rather, a slice-of-life fic that happens to feature "smut"? I say that because I didn't particularly find the story as a whole to be very erotic. I mean, that's to be expected on my behalf, I suppose, seeing as I prefer horses in stables with their horse parts far away from me. But the plot is essentially "Hi, I'm here cuz of the ad." "The ad was for sex, by the way." "Oh. Cool, I guess." And then the smut lever gets thrown to the "on" position and it's smexxxxxxxxx. My erotic reading is kind of narrow. I'm mostly used to reading the smut works of Drace Domino, and they very purposefully write their commissions for the express design of arousal. As such, Drace's fics are all about teasing and titillating the entire damn way through, from first sentence to last, making every paid-for sentence work.
I didn't feel that with this fic. I'm not complaining, mind you, nor am I suggesting that such should have been the case. I just imagined that if this fic was trying to be full horse humping, we wouldn't have had the gradual exposition and dialogue scenes and such. There's little to no teasing. The fic literally doesn't become erotic until Luna and Vinyl walk into the bedroom. If you had chosen to start the fic as close to that sequence as possible, then maybe you would have established an erotic tone more poignantly and interwoven it into the prose/dialogue all throughout or... I dunno.
That's why I'm tempted to think you designed this (or the commission designed this) to be Slice of Life with... y'know... benefits. Which would be thematically appropriate, given the details of this fic, I suppose. That being said, I really really really like the concept. And (forgive me, but) I would absolutely adore to see a SFW non-clop version of this concept... maybe something with a fluffier, more melancholic tone. Imagine Princess Luna, feeling isolated and constrained by duty, not sure how to go about socializing or making friends... ultimately resorting to putting an ad in the paper or asking the favor of her regal connections... which leads to the most unassuming DJ strolling into her throneroom regularly after dark, and the two form a sweet and fuzzy bond over time, with their opaque exteriors being whittled away through constant exposure and whatnot. Something a bit more emotional, lengthy, exploratory. I dunno. But the concept inspires me.
In any case, thanks for writing this. Horsewordsmiths should experiment with unique ships more often.
i would love to see a second chapter were its a three some with octy, luna and vinyl
This pairing makes me glad I stumbled upon your stories.