Just a worn out writer from a bygone age. Don't mind me, I'm just passing through.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well. That's... Well.
Not baaaaad. Not bad at allllll.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I sense sorcery with the likes/views ratio....
Okay, gotta say this looks hysterical. A completely original idea, some gentle fun poked at that ridiculous app, and apparently porn as well, sounds like a winning combination.
You missed a golden opportunity. It should clearly be 'Damnit, Jim, wake up!' Also the supervisor now sounds like McCoy from old school Star Trek in my head. Also, is there supposed to be a double line break above this? Might consider putting a more clear demarcation in.
Basic pointer? You write dialogue/says tags as "dialogue," she said. In this story there are many places where you have it as "dialogue." she said. Commas rather than periods.
You don't need either of those commas.
Question mark instead of a comma after 'right Tavi'
Need a period between mare and Music
Ba-dum tish!
I'm not really a pony porn person so I can't comment on the elements that are supposed to be arousing, but I enjoyed this on an entirely clean level anyway.
Best...Glitch...EVER!
I don't think that there is such a thing as "Too Many Tavis" and would love to test out that theory in the same way as Vinyl.
2887122
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I try to catch all my errors but it's almost inevitable some slip through.
That is... actually kind of disturbing.
Lol I was going to say....I have a swarm of octys too lol just to be funny I keep adding more to my game....now the octys out number changeling twilight lol
What you did there, I see it.
2887211 With anal beads?
2888370
Umm...that depends on who's ass the beads are in...
2888380
Well, you were Vinyl in your analogy so...you.
That was awesome! Thumbs and a fave!
2888399
Uh-oh...I should really revise that comment... I'd prefer to not have anything shoved up my ass.
2888411
I figured.
Don't knock it till you try it. :P
2888414
Exactly, I can knock it...
2888411
Oh, come now... Don't tell us you are getting the cold hooves.
2888421
No, no, not at all!
Hot,. Therefore a job well done.
2888430 I quote a ChuckFinley story "Butt fun is best fun!"
Vinyl Scratch And the Anal Invaders from nowhere!!
Oooohhhhhh!
what could be worse than that?
i can only imagine the things octavia has witnessed
Nice story.
2895746
Stick around, I say it surprisingly often.
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDYvMTMvMTZfNDFfMzlfNzc0XzM0NzYzM19fc2FmZV9vY3RhdmlhX2JhbGxvb25zX2JhbGxvb25fY2FudGVybG90X2dhbWVsb2Z0X2Nsb25lX3R3aW5rbGluZ19iYWxsb29uX2hvdF9haXJfYmFsbG9vbl9nbGl0Y2hfY2xvbmVzX211bHRlaXR5X29jdGF2aWFfbWVsb2R5Il1d/347633__safe_octavia_balloons_balloon_canterlot_gameloft_octavia%2Bmelody_clones_hot%2Bair%2Bballoon_twinkling%2Bballoon_glitch_multeity_%2521_exclamation%2Bpoint.jpeg
This is hella rad! Love this one, very graphic, smart details! Thanks for making it, I look forward to more like this from you~
Ha that ending!
That was... interesting - quite good, and a funny take on the glitch - because don't we all have a legion of Octavia's at the moment?
I want a story, of exactly what that is. This was amazing, and I want to know what else Octavia caught Vinyl doing.
Theory: The variable for Lust and Love are static. Instead of setting, they get increased when created. => Many Tavis = Many Lustincreasings
Holy shit, that was hot!
I'm kinda wondering about what she thinks is worse then that whole situation?
OMG, ponies don't eat eggs!
...Do they?
4728854 Why else would they have chicken coops? Surely that's way too many chickens to be mere pets. Plus eggs are almost required in most baking.
4728854
Actually, they've served eggs in the show. The main example I can think of is during the sisterhooves social episode when Rarity is trying to let Sweetie Belle help make breakfast by adding the garnish... TO EGGS! *dun dun duuuun!*
4729183
4730139
I don't watch the show that much...
ok...that was different...
Well.... then... that was intense... lyra, what are you doing with that broom handle?
That has been one of the most original fics that I've ever read. Obviously in that universe there are either no changelings or it is pre Canterlot Invasion. 11/10.
Was that a Tony Stark reference at the end there or was that just random?
4794708 Haha, yes it was exactly that. Bravo.
So what WAS the worst thing Vinyl was caught doing?
I can't like it!?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
XD I knew it. I totally called the ending as soon as the hoofcuffs were applied. Wonder what Vinyl's thinking, once she realizes it wasn't a dream.
A lot of people -- Including myself, are very curious as to what the worst thing that Octavia has caught Vinyl doing would be... I may write something of this... But no promises.
I think I have an idea I could use...
4986162
Yah I see a lot of people mentioned this. I think it's fun to leave it to your imagination.
A SEQUAL IS DEMANDED, NOW! uum, if you want to... that is.
This story...
1.bp.blogspot.com/-2WKbH2fB298/T66M3GEqmCI/AAAAAAAABJ4/b5sxRzzeXes/s1600/clint-eastwood-nodding.gif
Wait, Octi caught her doing worse?!