• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
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Admiral Biscuit


he/him

T
Source

Pinkie Pie tries to fly internationally. What could possibly go wrong?

Inspired by personal experience.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 284 )

Well of COURSE she needs five-hundred tubes of tooth-paste! Think of all the parties at YAM! With all of those parties there's going to be a load of super-duper sweet goodness! Like cake! And with meeting new po-people, there's going to be more parties! Which means more cake and cakey-delicious frosting! Which means for healthy teeth needs, toothpaste!

I (probably foolishly) chose not to utilize pre-readers.

Nah, your skills are fine.

Just the concept makes me laugh. I'm surprised you didn't do the whole pocket search thing from The Mask (Start at 0:55)

I love that cover art

6040624

Just the concept makes me laugh. I'm surprised you didn't do the whole pocket search thing from The Mask (Start at 0:55)

Who says I'm not gonna?

jz1

Why is Pinkie going to Sault Ste. Marie?

6040589
Not to mention, even if she doesn't need to hand them out for other people's dental hygene, or for a toothpaste-themed party, she can afford to lose a few and still have some left for herself. That's prudent packing--I always take spares of things I might need on a trip.

6040659

I love that cover art

It wasn't what I was originally looking for, but as soon as I watched the video it's from, I was sold. And the Hello Kitty airplane in the background is just an added bonus.

6040679
Because it has a funny airport code. Seriously, that's the only reason.

Meh -- she got off way way too easy.

6040732
She hasn't gotten through immigration yet.

6040739
The funny thing is, my last few airport encounters haven't gone as well as Pinkie's.

6040791
Never fear, after the last chapter I'll be publishing a blog post with notes, research, and so forth, and I'll include some of my more memorable experiences.

This is why I dont like the idea of trying to go between locations on a conveyance built so flimsily that an un equipped person can punch it hard enough to cause a divertable fault.

At least someone has managed to create the fractal saphire crushable energyabsorbing material I was looking for 30 years ago. Sure, carry on all the explosives you want, your going to be able to do jack shit with it.

also, every single seat is a survival pod.

Aint cheap duplication through mass production 3D printing grand.

Well, that, and using sub orbital ballistics means far less flight time and fuel is needed between long distance destinations.

What do I mean? how about, the energy needed to lift the entire International Space Station, into it Mach 20 orbit, is the same as that needed for a single half mass A380 just to get halfway round the world at less than Mach 1. Even without teh speed difference, thats a quarter the fuel needed.

Also, just because Pinkie unpacked everything back in her room, why does that imply she isnt carrying it with her? :pinkiecrazy:

Very strange. Welcome to America. Please remove your shoes.If you dont have a firearm, one will be provided for you.

Surely that belt will keep Pinkie out of trouble.

Surely.

6041085 Said every expecting fandom member ever.

6041111 I know this isn't truly the place to ask, but what is with all the H Discordia profiles I keep seeing? Are you all part of the same group, or are you just one person who changes their name constantly?

6041123 We're a group dedicated to destroying FimFiction and giving the admins a headache by any means necessary. (Not really, we just cause fun mischief and chaos for fun).

Starting with the straightjacket?

I bet that stewardess is just setting out the handcuffs, nylon ties, ducttape and vodka at this moment.

Oh Pinkie, you assaulted a federal officer! I swear, if she wasn't human she'd have been shot or tazed. Then, arrested.

Well, this can only end well.

6041044

At least someone has managed to create the fractal saphire crushable energyabsorbing material I was looking for 30 years ago. Sure, carry on all the explosives you want, your going to be able to do jack shit with it.

Do you have a link for that? I've seen one video where they tried to use a blast absorbing agent in a plane, and it didn't work at all--the pressurization's a real problem, since it effectively magnifies the explosive force (at least, that's my understanding of the problem)

Also, just because Pinkie unpacked everything back in her room, why does that imply she isnt carrying it with her? :pinkiecrazy:

Oh trust me, she's got plenty with her still.

If you dont have a firearm, one will be provided for you.

That's why I've never understood them asking when you come back into the US if you have a gun. Like, who would try and sneak a gun into the US, when you can buy one practically anywhere here, no questions asked.

6041243

I bet that stewardess is just setting out the handcuffs, nylon ties, ducttape and vodka at this moment.

I bet a lot of stewardesses wish they could carry that stuff. Actually, maybe they do, for unruly passengers or emergency airplane repairs.

6041302

Oh Pinkie, you assaulted a federal officer! I swear, if she wasn't human she'd have been shot or tazed. Then, arrested.

That's why you've got a guy to straighten out little misunderstandings--that's who the guy who followed her to the gate was.

6041386

Considering Pink Pone is a VIP in Equestria, I'm really surprised she doesn't have an entourage and automatic VIP status. That's what you get for letting Twilight do booking through conventional human channels.

She probably would. but then the story wouldn't be funny any more.

Also, wouldn't the millimeter scanner mess with pony fields, not to mention aren't they under investigation for health risks?

Yes, and yes.

Also also also, what is with humans touching Pinkie's rump?

It's okay on real horses, so long as they know you're back there (and stand off to the side, so that they can't kick you as easily, if they take offense). It's actually advised whenever you're going behind a horse. Mind you, this only holds true with domestic horses; I don't know what would happen if you tried that with a feral horse or a zebra or whatever (but whatever happened, I bet you'd be in a lot of pain).

I don't know about Continental's service

Technically, there's no Continental service anywhere any more, but I couldn't resist the slogan "We move our tails for you."

Princess Twilight has reportedly threatened to "end communications" and "destroy the portal".

I wrote a portal-based warfic once! It wasn't well-received, since a lot of people didn't see the humor in the ponies actually winning on the homefront. Or maybe they were just horrified by the idea of Dick Cheney as president.

Next in the news, Hippy Treehuggers (HTH), a non-profit 501 c(3) charity organization, condemned the recent violent acts by the TSA and have requested asylum in Equestria.

How do I join the Hippy Treehuggers, and how do I request asylum?

6041902

Nope. Flying is already as stressful as it is with regular old humans. No amount of money would put me on that plane.

The only pony I'd be comfortable with on a plane is Cherry Berry. I figure she knows a thing or two about flying.

img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140407155732/mlp/images/a/aa/Cherry_Berry_in_the_Rainbow_Helicopter_S4E21.png

6041512

Well, this can only end well.

You know it!

6041085

Surely that belt will keep Pinkie out of trouble.
Surely.

Surprisingly enough, it does, but only because I wanted to focus on her interactions with airport security.

6042005

I read it!

Yay!

Or maybe they were just horrified by the idea of Dick Cheney as president.

Who wouldn't be scared?

I'd be fleeing to Canada.

Let me know if you find out, I'll be the first in line with you.

Will do!

What could possibly go wrong?

1: Airport Security disapproves of party cannons... Or any cannons in general really.
2: Overpriced Food at mediocre quality.
3: Gate Changes, even Pinkie Sense can't predict it.
4: Departure Delays make it hard to keep a hyperactive party pony under control for longer.
5: Ticketing Issues, oh god the ticketing issues.
6: The wonders of boarding and Carry-On luggage.
7: Personal space is bad enough on a plane without Pinkie.

I haven't even made it to door-close or Taxiing yet...

Now to go read this.

6042057

2: Overpriced Food at mediocre quality.

I actually was going to put in a part where she bought a single, squished cinnabon for $25. . . .

6041908

This is where things get dementia class upsetting for me, because there is so much on the net, and I can never remember the words that the article actually uses, meaning I get lost in th sea of actual words using in articles that are in no way related. :pinkiesick:

Basically, some group 3D printed nanotubes of saphire. for the same reason that commercial optical fibre is extremely strong glass, ebcause its too small to have mechanical imperfections, and so can flex a lot and recover, when these tubes were compressed axially, they buckled and bent, absorbing energy, but recovered their linear form when the stress was released. the tubes were then formed into a 3D network, similar to stage lighting rigs, transmission towers and other such beams, then those beams were used as struts to form larger beams, hence self similar, fractal. These multiform beams, under compression, bucled up to 50% with reformation. Which means beyond 50%, they absorbed an awful amount of energy in crushing.

I had the idea back in the 80s, because buckyballs had just been anounced, and I was hoping for taking two halfs of a buckyball, expanding the equator into a tube, then making up such self similar beams into cross bracing and sheets for a multiple varylayer severe abuse resiliant aircraft hull.

A whole load of other stuff was hoped for by now, given everything announced back in the 80s, the main one was treating the passenger compartment like a cargo pod so you could have huge crush zones all round it as fuel tanks, and the upgrade option of a NIF style pulse reactor. Or rather, a double acting plasma conpression rig. think NIF, Z machine, Red Dwarf. not so much ITER.

So much stuff we Could have now that was proposed back in the 80s, but we cant, because the technical infrastructure just hanst been built up in the meantime.

Sigh, I cant even find that article on Rolls Royce proudly displaying their new Hubless fans, 20% and 40% more efficint, but only available on totally new build aircraft. None of this, lets make the entire current fleet use 40% less fuel within a decade just by swapping out the engine pods. :pinkiesad2:

Sorry.

Oh, Pinkie. :unsuresweetie:

do I even want to know what the 'thing' is?

6042142
Ah, so we're talking pretty exotic stuff here, if I get what you're saying, and I'm not sure it would actually work on the 'skin' (which of course doesn't have to be very strong--planes can, and have, flown with giant chunks missing.
i.ytimg.com/vi/hTAdsJs62qM/hqdefault.jpg
As I'm sure you're well aware. Still, while I haven't done any recent checks, my memory's telling me that explosive decompression for any reason isn't a very common event. Sure, there were the Comets, and a rash of DC-10s with faulty cargo door latches, a few planes with fatigue cracks (like Aloha's), and I suspect some that were punctured by loose engine bits after a catastrophic engine failure--but I'm not sure there's much to be gained by really exotic materials for fuselage construction.

I could ask my brother. He's kind of near the cutting edge of aircraft design.

I do remember coming across the concept of 'passenger pods,' but I have to imagine that they'd add a lot of complexity and weight with no real gain, since you'd essentially wind up with an airplane inside an airplane.

6042201 And don't forget the 747 with a huge chunk missing from the right side and both engines on that side dead... No deaths beyond the nine unlucky sods who got sucked out in the initial breach.

Nah, nah, let me tell you what's horrific. Trying to get your order in an accurate and timely manner whilst going through the McDonalds drive-thru after midnight. You literally have like a 33% chance of getting what you ordered at a 24/7 drive-thru.

6042246
ah. you might want to change its description in 3rd chapter then.
from how it is, it seems more like ...
something else.

Pinkie instinctively bucked her back, sending her crashing across the desk.

You might want to clarify that Pinkie was bucking the agent, rather than like, arching her own back or something. It reads strangely and I had to go back and reread a few times.

Other than that, good read.

According to Chuck, signs in America were written in English and Illegal Immigrant.

Chuck had told her that was the case in Australia, where they walked upside-down and talked backwards.

Methinks somebody is a conservative.:rainbowlaugh:
Also, it's Canadian, not Canadien.

She wasn't the only traveler so inclined; by the time she was at the sink and washing her hooves, there was a short line of women waiting to use the facilities. Weird how the men's room never has much of a line.

Truth.

“Your foals . . . uh, kids are cute. Are they both sired by the same stallion?”
Her eyes flicked to the left, her smile faltered for a second, and then came back full-force. “Of course. I'm married.”

:rainbowlaugh:
Nice Stooges reference.

“Solar and Lunar magic.” Her pupils shrank, and she began reciting by rote. “Presenting a fraudulent passport will cause the bearer's cutie mark to be replaced by a black X, and she will be banished from the herd for a period of no less than ten moons.”

Ooo, now that's interesting...rote, eh?

“Your foals . . . uh, kids are cute. Are they both sired by the same stallion?”

Methinks it would have been interesting had they continued conversation and went into that a bit more. Oh well, maybe next story.

6042653 I think that's the point. <.<

:pinkiehappy:

That remote controlled submarine! :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: Made me think of a Drew Carey episode!

6042201

Sorry for being confusing again. There is a simple reason I was looking at a totally non standard method for design and construction of an aircraft, and thats because I want it to run in what you would class a totally non standard flight regime, as in greater fuel effiicncy, passenger and cargo capacity over range, time, etc.

Full up? think of a 100 metre span thick blended body capable of shifting 2000 people in 2 hours halfway round the planet, or into orbit, using less fuel than an A380. (?) the megajumbo. Due to its stressed foam hull, it needs no soft delicate ablative heatshield, and in fact is essentially impervious to small arms fire, Barret rounds, and most low yield RPGs.

As someone said in another story, spacecraft have to withstand stupid amounts of impinging radiation, heat, cold stresses and impacting material. Once you work out how to print the hull cheaply instead of trying to machine bits and stick them together they become far cheaper to make and run, over lifespan, than a subsonic passenger jet.

I wish I could find the piece o paper I had a look at years ago.

Upto about 1000 miles, a passenger jet aircraft cant compete against vaccuum maglev.
Over about 1000 miles, a passenger jet aircraft cant compete against a sub orbital balistic flight.

Given electric hybrid hubless rim driven thrusters, you dont need full power gas turbine cores, as skin capacitors can supply the overload needed for takeoff, lightweight micro MHD turbogenerators, now with added optical rectifiers supply cruise power at far higher efficincy etc than standard nickle stell cores, for a fraction the weight. The engines on an aircaft are the heaviest parts. Shrink those in whatever way and you save massive amounts of proportional weight.

As for Lithium battiers, I have no idea why they use those, given at best, they save the weight equivalent to 1 passenger, while having a whole range of extremley dangerous problems as the technology is in no way mature.

You say, but 3D printing isnt mature. Well, thats why I started looking at this thing back in the 80s, because I was hoping, had RnD been applied to the various branches over time, that by now 30 years later, we couldve solved a lot of the problems, and started knocking at least fighters and small aircraft of similar design out for flight and operational practice.

Instead, we have the F35 :pinkiesad2:

An aircraft designed like a PC.

A Shuttle HPC. by Dell.

xoid #47 · Jun 1st, 2015 · · 2 · Arrival ·

This went rather well for Pinkie. Too well. You sold us a TSA horror story and gave us this instead. If it weren’t for the false advertising I’d probably have up‐voted this but since I was expecting all sorts of shenanigans with the TSA and didn’t get anything beyond the norm you elicited a ‘meh’ of indifference instead.

6041044 That's funny. It almost makes me wish TSA was that attentive. Usually nobody notices until I start cutting my airline snack with my pocket knife. And it's not like it's hidden or anything, just in my boot sheath (which should be visible on the X-ray).

Ahh the tsa, the cheapest and most incompetent security that only government can ever hope to find.
Anyone else see that news article a few weeks ago that stated that NO ONE knows if the tsa's bomb detecting machines even work:facehoof: or if it's even POSSIBLE to get them to work if they don't?:pinkiesick::facehoof:

A few mistakes. Shall I fix 'em or was this a challenge to see how few mistakes you could make?

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