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Admiral Biscuit


The hard life pegasus among stupid bipedal cornstalk

Sequels1



E

Silver Spanner's first day on the job is met with skepticism from her fellow workers—but one mare decides to give her a chance, even if she is a little bit different than most construction workers in Ponyville.


An entry for the 2015 EFNW pre-con writing contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 62 )

You know I'd quite like a story about the pull now, I could see big Mac being a contender.

5779129
Well, we know he can pull a house if he's got the right motivation. That's hard to compete with.

5779133

I guess he just needs cheerilee at the finishing line giving him a little motivation.

I just love your Silver Spanner stories.

Of course I have to agree with Talon, now you have to write the pony pull story. :)

5779255

I just love your Silver Spanner stories.

Thanks!

Of course I have to agree with Talon, now you have to write the pony pull story. :)

I'll consider it. :pinkiehappy:

One more vote for the pony pull.

Ambrosia and Silver are walking down the street one evening, chatting. A vaguely human-shaped blur zips out from between two houses and glomps Silver away between two more, the two making nearly matching squeals.

Ambrosia wasn't entirely sure, but while standing there in shock, one hoof raised, she could have sworn she heard a strange voice cry something like, "....freaking adorable...!"

Good stuff. Love the racism, that's awesome. I mean... we're like that, why would ponies be any different?

I really enjoyed this. I'd love to read more! Was this a one-time thing (I hope not)? :rainbowdetermined2:

5781148

There is a story about how Silver Spanner got her cutie mark, and she appears in OTTPP.

5781276 Sorry, I'm kinda new here. What does OTTPP stand for?

5781281

One of Admiral Biscuit's long form fics, On to the Pony Planet, a sequel to Celestia Sleeps in.

Also here's the other Silver Spanner fic.
Silver Spanner gets her Cutie Mark.

Looks like you're actually very new in this site, so welcome!

You might want to take a look at Admiral's library, he has several fics with similar tone to this one.

Here.

This felt...oddly flat, which is disappointing as it's a really intriguing idea.

What if unicorns are seen as inferior for such work? How would such a world look, how would ponies treat them and interact with them? How would they cope, how would they find work? Would they face discrimination?

But this...feels very lifeless. There's no heat from anyone, it's all minor snipes and jabs that Silver either doesn't hear or doesn't understand and then suddenly whoops, they're friends problem solved. Everything's done. Everyone's happy and the reader can relax. But I never got worked up to start with.

I think my starting problem is the idea that not only is Ponyville willing to allow parents to prevent their young children from learning to read and write, but that such aggressive type biases exist and it's normal. Most places tend to enforce a minimum schooling age, and in a small town where everyone tends to know each others business, it's much easier to enforce. As to the type bias, Ttis is a town where everyone has been shown to happily work together, regardless of creed and type, and the Elements of Harmony have lived for many years and continue to doso.

Unfortunately that doesn't cover up for how dead this all feels. Nobody seems to care, the characters feel like they're simply going through the motions with no passion and interest. Part of the problem may simply be the amount of technical jargon that gets casually tossed around. I've helped build houses, but I still found some parts of this confusing and telly.

I only gripe because I love this idea. I love seeing how ponies deal with each other, especially when it's someone supposedly unsuited for their work but who has the ability to doso. I love watching ponies find their place in the world. Starting from a struggle and slowly gaining friends and trust of others. By rushing through all that to fit it into a short story, you have to limit it to one or two small scenes apiece, which means you lose the ability to add emphasis and weight to the interactions.

Ahem, rant over. I can do something else now and not chew the furniture.:twilightsmile: If it helps, it's only because I feel you can do so much more that I'm irked.:unsuresweetie:

It occurs to me to point out I'm not downvoting as I don't think it's genuinely bad. Just, not very good.

5779691

One more vote for the pony pull.

Y'all really want to see this one, don't you?

5779913
Ooh, if I were there it would a toss-up whether to glomp Ambrosia or Silver Spanner first.

Eh, who am I kidding? I'd grab the first pony I saw.

5780190

Love the racism, that's awesome. I mean... we're like that, why would ponies be any different?

Thanks! That's always kind of been my thought, too. Heck, we're only differentiated by petty things like skin color, religion, and nation of origin. They're practically three different species (or more, if you also count donkeys, mules, zebras, batponies...).

5781148

I'd love to read more! Was this a one-time thing (I hope not)?

It's not exactly a one-time thing--I've used Ambrosia and Silver Spanner (along with other construction ponies) in other fics before, as 5781276 pointed out. They will appear again in other things, and there's a very high likelihood of additional one-shots starring the construction ponies, especially since so many people want a story about the pony pull.

5782178

Back when our greatest technological achievement was the steam engine most of the people alive were illiterate. Heck, only slightly over 20% of the world's population knew how to read as late as 1900.

Here: http://ourworldindata.org/data/education-knowledge/literacy/

Going into the 1800 only 54% of the people in the UK knew how to read, in 1870 that number was still only 76%, one out of every four ware illiterate.

It's got nothing to do with active denial of education, either school was not available, students would rather work than study, and people knew they could get aroud without picking up a book if they knew a trade from thousands of years of experience doing so.

As a more in-world justification, there was no school in Ponyville when the older ponies like Ambrosia were small.

2105? Don't you mean 2015? Also, I think I heard the name Admiral Biscuit from somewhere.

5782591

YES!!!!

Given that there apparently hasn't been one in Ponyville for a long time I guess it's a traveling show of some sort moving through. So I could certainly see they challenging volunteers from the audience, which could be rigged (Flim Flam brothers I'm looking at you) or fair and the show could also have other side acts to warm the crowd up (Trixie?).

5783711
Heh, oops. Correction made, thank you!

Also, I think I heard the name Admiral Biscuit from somewhere.

Hmm. I don't know where you might have heard it. I've came up with it 20 years ago, as a character in a RPG.

Just another day, normal is normal. :ajsmug: slice of life to the core!

5782679 Thanks for the link, the page is really interesting. I did know that illiteracy was pretty widespread and enforceable mandatory education is very a fairly new thing in the developed world.

My issue is more that I find that hard to believe in the show. The most powerful beings in the world raise the sun and moon. Everyone is fairly devoted to them and the idea they'd be fine with widespread illiteracy just doesn't gel for me.

n_n It's just personal opinion though, and the awesome thing about MLP:FiM is that it's such a tech mix you can argue almost whatever you want.

She sighed. "I'll see if Hydro can come out tomorrow and finish the job. Maybe he’s ahead of schedule on the town hall."

You do that. If that's the same stallion from her cutie mark story, he'll probably laugh in your face, then sadly shake his head, and then tell you he really has to go back to that town hall :facehoof:

"Who does she think she is?" Riven muttered, thrusting her hoof around. "Sitting at a booth all by herself—too good for us, I guess."

Betcha that if she had just come to their table, they'd be all "Who does she think she is? Just coming to our table like she owns the place. We don't even know her! Typical unicorn..." :facehoof:

I want it done by the time Square’s got with the chair rail up, so she can start on the baseboard.

I have trouble parsing this sentence. I think that "with" shouldn't be there :applejackconfused:

Her younger self hadn’t appreciated watching straining, sweating stallions, but she did now.

Hah! I bet :rainbowwild:

5779129

I could see big Mac being a contender.

You and every mare in Ponyville :rainbowlaugh:

5786840

You do that. If that's the same stallion from her cutie mark story, he'll probably laugh in your face, then sadly shake his head, and then tell you he really has to go back to that town hall

Most likely. He doesn't even put up with s:yay: from his kid.

Betcha that if she had just come to their table, they'd be all "Who does she think she is? Just coming to our table like she owns the place. We don't even know her! Typical unicorn..."

That's exactly what would happen.

I want it done by the time Square’s got with the chair rail up, so she can start on the baseboard.

I have trouble parsing this sentence. I think that "with" shouldn't be there :applejackconfused:

Good call! Oops!

I could see big Mac being a contender.

You and every mare in Ponyville

img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110809175043/mlp/images/6/6d/Big_McIntosh_pulling_plough_in_Applejack's_imagination_S1E03.png

5787007
Wikia doesn't seem to allow hotlinking their images :unsuresweetie:
But I found the pic anyway :twilightsmile:

5782178 as a tradesman, I loved this story, because the interactions between the various professions felt so true to life.

I've been on a lot of jobs, and I've been around a lot of plumbers, pipefitters, drywallers, tinbashers, etc. I know good work when I see it, even if I can't replicate it. The petty sniping and the "Jesus Christ what the fuck is he doing?" attitudes are spot on for people who suspect someone isn't pulling their weight.

As for the illiteracy and demeanour of the ponies concerning race, well, Admiral Biscuit has a far more realistic and coherent version of Equestria than canon, while still celebrating the themes of FiM, in my humble opinion.

More world-building...very nice

It's funny actually; I stumbled across your other entry some weeks earlier and now the random generater directed me here. To keep it short: I liked the story, it has cool worldbuilding and a nice message. The main critical remark I have would be that the amount of (named) characters in such a short story makes it actually hard to keep track of who's who.

5843747

More world-building...very nice

Thank you!

5845868

Will such elements make a appearance in your current fic or in future ones?

5845067

It's funny actually; I stumbled across your other entry some weeks earlier and now the random generator directed me here.

The generator must like me!

To keep it short: I liked the story, it has cool worldbuilding and a nice message.

Thank you!

The main critical remark I have would be that the amount of (named) characters in such a short story makes it actually hard to keep track of who's who.

That's a fair complaint. I assumed that the majority of people who read it would be familiar with most of them from OPP and the other Silver Spanner fic of mine.

5845872
Yes. All the stories set in the Pony Planet universe share these themes and worldbuilding elements. Also coming soon are another Sea Swirl fic, one about the pony pull, and a OPP side story about shoeing.

5845901

These will be most enjoyable I am sure.

Still waiting to see that Epiphany moment..its going to be SO good

It's simple and straightforward, but I like it. I like it a lot. The dialogue especially is snappy and believable and I always like a story that takes time to depict Equestria as a real place with real societal differences. Looks like I've got another nominee for the Everfree community choice awards!

5882614
Thank you, thank you, and thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!

5845880

wonderful little story. I hope to read more about silver spanner... maybe even her perspective when she meets the human

and, while I, too found the number of characters a bit much, I have that problem virtually all the time, so I barely even notice it anymore

Nice! I feel like stories detailing tensions between the tribes tend to detail unicorns looking down on the other two significantly more. So its nice to see some stuff going the other direction. It, perhaps strangely, makes all three groups look more even.

Liked this one, needs another. :twilightsmile:

6727622
The pony pull is on my to-do list. Won't be before Christmas, but it's on the list. I even did research!

One question,

Still, it was times like these she wished she had wings, like their thatcher, Hazel Broach.

What's the meaning of this word?

Her younger self hadn’t appreciated watching straining, sweating stallions, but she did now.

LOL:rainbowlaugh:

~Leonzilla

6856899

What's the meaning of this word?

A thatcher is one who thatches (I know, so helpful).
commonwealthroofing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/thatch-being-installed-13.jpg
A historically common type of roof (and the type we see often in the show) is a thatched roof, which is a roof made of straw or some other woody plant (I believe sugarcane is used in some parts of the world). When done right, it can last a century without needing replacement, and of course it's biodegradable and renewable.
commonwealthroofing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/thatch-being-installed-13.jpg

In the MLP world, that's a craft occupation which it makes sense would usually be done by pegasi, since there would be no need for ladders.

6859753 Thanks!:pinkiehappy:
imagecache2.allposters.com/images/HPM/SM1586.jpg

Although a century is a bit of a stretch for any kind of roof.:twilightsheepish:

6862900

Although a century is a bit of a stretch for any kind of roof.

Well, slate or tile or other roofs like that can last indefinitely . . . the thatched roof might need occasional minor repairs, but it's certainly got a longer life than simple asphalt shingles.

6862995 the weather conditions are a huge factor too. A roof that goes through the pressure of enduring heavy snows and rainy seasons is bound to wear-down sooner.

Roofs will only last indefinitely if periodically maintained. If the structure it's abandoned it would be difficult for any roof to hold 100+ years.

This story is absolutely wonderful!:pinkiehappy: I added it to the "Silver Spanner Fans" group:twilightsmile:

7036491

Thanks for adding it! It's a great story.

Author, have a like and follow! :heart:

7036491
Thank you! Signal boosted the group; I'd love to find more Silver Spanner stories.

7036635
Thanks!

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