Tired of the boring festivities in Ponyville, Berry Punch sets out to a place where people really know how to drink: a bar in a college town.
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- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
Admiral Biscuit
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Admiral Biscuit
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Darn it! This story is just so adorable. It is a nice, quick read to start off the holiday.
Good job.
5748595
Thanks!
Follow up a good Irish story with the most Irish YouTube video of all time:
This was adorable! Great story and well written, I hope you choose to continue it.
Hey you know what? I enjoyed it. Fuck it, have a thumbs up.
I wonder how a pony would fair in an bar brawl?
5748738 let's just say, they aim low.
5748745 I suppose that all a person would have to do is punt them away then.
5748677
Thanks!
5748714
I'll consider it
5748736
Thanks!
5748766 it would be kinda hard to punt them if you take a hoof to the junk.
5748738
5748745
Based on some experiments I did, Berry probably weighs between 100 and 150 pounds. That makes her too heavy to punt, but a kick from her would be less devastating than the 2000psi a full-grown horse could muster.
That having been said, she'd likely go for the groin or knees, and either might finish the fight pretty quick. Her stance would probably make her really hard to knock over, too, whereas a headbutt from her probably would knock over a person.
Finally, most people aren't good at fighting animals, or a person significantly shorter than them, and even trained fighters often don't have a good defense for low blows (although that of course depends on what fighting style they've trained in).
One-on-one in a bar environment, I'd give the pony a slight edge.
5748815
5748808
Bitch please, I'd go Chris Benoit and flying Headbutt dat bitch..
I don't know why, but this is bringing back memories of the fight I was almost in.
5748844
I suspect a pony skull is tougher than a human skull, but I don't have any data on that.
5748870 definately Chris Benoit then.
How much did you drink before writing this story?
Hilarious!
5748870 also, what school did you have in mind for this?
(I bet its not Northern)
5749846
The Irish Pub I was picturing is the one in Lansing, so that'd make it MSU (or Cooley or LCC, I suppose).
5749533
I can't be giving away all my secrets.
5749851 sadly I was never old enough to party with my older brother when he went to state, and unless i wanted to go into savage teritory Northwood didn't have a party scene.
Berry is best pony!
She might not be into racing, but after ten pitchers of beer, I imagine she'd have to piss like a race horse!
5749990
I avoided most of the State parties myself, and the few I did attend were with responsible grad students.
5750544
Yeah, she would.
You know, forgot to mention a thought on the whole age thing. There's always the possibility (I'd wager it's pretty high actually) that years on the pony planet are longer (or shorter).
5750812
That's quite true.
My personal thought is that since they control the sun and moon, there would be a regular number of days making up a regular number of weeks, which all made up a month, and so on . . . and that it would be a number which had some significance to them.
Going with base 12, it would be most obvious to them to have six six-day weeks/month (36 days/lunation), and have 12 of those months per year--which gives them a 432-day year, which could of course mean that there would be about 1.2 Earth years per Equestrian year (making Berry Punch about 17). Of course, their calender could be like ours, and be a hodge-podge of systems all kind of unified into one thing. For CSI, they have 12 30-day months, each with five six-day weeks.
Of course, that's purely arbitrary. Their years could be much shorter than ours, or much longer. Given that they have distinct seasons, I'd think they probably couldn't have a year that was shorter than 180 days or so, but I might be wrong on that.
The truth is that since headcanon varies so much, I only mention specific ages when i want to either make a joke or use it for its culture shock value.
The only alcoholic beverage I've ever had, which I drank specifically to write a drunk scene in one of my fics.
This has 'excuse plot' written all over it, and I love it.
5751045
I've got one in front of me right now, as it happens.
You know what's weird? Reading FimFiction with the Ponify extension turned on. For instance, this comment
5748870 Reads:
St. Patrick's Day might possibly have been the only day of the year that a drunken purple pony in a green felt hat would be completely accepted in an bar. Good choice! I almost want another chapter describing the next day's reactions--but I'm worried that belaboring the joke might kill all of the funny.
Even though she has traveled transdimensionally to a human bar, I bet Berry could sing along to that traditional Irish standard "Danny Boy."
Ireland's greatest export is its people don't you know
The more Irish they become the further that they go
There is one thing you need to know about drinking on St. Patrick's day: Whatever happens, whatever you see, just go with it.
5752091
I actually considered having her do just that.
5752541
Very true.
What a fun little story! Good for a quick holiday read.
5754844
Thanks!
10 pitchers for only 2 bits? can we say repeat customer lol. oh and it's not only p[ony parents that are cruel. i got a customer whose real name is short storage. yeah when you ain't happy about kids and wanna get them beat up give em a name like that.
5756383
'Course, you've got to figure what a gold coin's worth on Earth, about $1200 so maybe she didn't get such a good deal.
Oh, that's just mean.
5748870
Horses have very thick skulls compared to humans, to the point that its possible for them to deflect 22 cal bullets (not that it wouldn't still cause damage and hurt like hell). It's recommended to use 9mm ammo or larger to execute a horse.
5759255
That's good to know. I figured horse skulls were probably tough.
5758137
true given the value in golds difference she didn't but still for her in equestria 2 bits equals 2 pitchers so to her she got a 5 to 1 deal so even if she isn't paying a fair rate for her it's still cheaper to drink.
and yeah when i saw the customers check i was going to ask her if she owned short storage but when i saw her ID.... it took everything not to laugh.
And once again, the pony fits right in. Now Berry in a Pub, quaffing Guinness, that's just beautiful.
The more of this kind of stories from yours I read, the more I think this is the most likely way an encounter such as this would play out.
Seriously, I'm pretty sure that most people, after the initial "WTF?!" moment would react in a very similar way to an obviously intelligent and friendly alien that even speaks English. Sure, a ton of questions, but why not?
6704682
Thanks!
I'm less sure about the blase reaction, but it is something I love using in stories.
It's also worth noting (in case you didn't read the blog post), the bar in question is based on a real bar, and I drive by it on occasion, and I always picture Berry Punch sitting at the bar, drinking Guinness straight from the pitcher.
Very nice! More approval and another upvote from me. I'm fairly certain I've read this one before, but I recalled liking it, so I read it again.
All these Berry stories have put me in the mood for a little something-something. Perhaps I'll pull out the gin and a grapefruit.
7143122
If I might be so bold as to make just one more recommendation, you might enjoy this story:
A Visionary Flood of Alcohol
Also I'm not sure how I feel about gin and grapefruit. I might have to try that sometime.
7147868
The Greyhound cocktail is simple and delicious.
Thank you for the recommemdation, I'll have a look.