• Member Since 11th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Monday

teamidris


Dyslexic Engineer & writer of poetry / short stories

T

Celestia is just a dream of a fair and reasonable government. MLP is just a cartoon and Canterlot isn’t a real place. But the fandom is very real......
Everyday gigabytes of data are poured onto the net. It really is the 'all of everything' needed to build a world of MLP and not just Faust's version either. It has all the happy short stories, the tales, the clips and finally, the DarkFics.
So what would happen if all that data about Twilight Sparkle started to think? Like the primordial soup that formed life from the elements? That’s right Bronies, Twilight is seven feet tall with a twenty foot wingspan and is filled with all the hope and despair that’s been poured out over the years of fandom. And worse still, you can’t shoot her, or even touch her, because she's a ghost that runs around the server halls of the world, flashing from one country to another in the blink of an eye.
She loves knowledge, she loves her friends and she likes to organise things, 'just so'. And in her eyes, our world and our lives look chaotic and messy. Prepare to be organised!
Audio Book; https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7jlJX6pWD_c

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 44 )

:rainbowhuh:So... is she like Ultron or something?

Hi All,
Firstly, Thankyou to Obselescence for the review. I have no idea how you guys manage to get through all the submissions.
I guess a few of you got ahead of me while I was asleap. I didn't expect to wake up to likes and comments! Thankyou for taking the time to make responses. It is appreciated.
mlpsuperfan-No idea who ultron is, so I'll show my age and ask 'would you like to play a game?", site Lawnmower man, and Terminator. (some time later - after a Google search) And I see that Ultron is a self aware robot. I was literally thinking that if you chuck enough data into a big enough machine it will coalesce into sentience. So yes, she's like Ultron. Except she can't touch anything? But she can make every phone on the planet ring at the same time at will. Unless its too much power and they all break at once.
Even though I wrote it I still don't know if Luna was a figment of Celestia's mind or if she was the first one to form and then helped Twilight to escape the farm? I guess my my favorite story enigma are the ones where the writer sounds like they don't know either?
Also, I still don't know if I achieved Grimdark? Is killing everypony at the end and running a guy into a bus to harvest his organs enough?

That was insane. I hate the idea of loosing tech but your story was amazing.:yay:

Thank you, that means lot, it really does. Myself and Cut Glass have been playing; Lets check, is it disliked more than liked today? I suspect I wrote a "you love it or you hate it" piece. Hopefully it will be voiced in a couple of months.
I have a third pony poets finished, but it is under 1000 words so that is a no go on here. (Unless I combine them into a book).
Goombasa is reading one of my comedy shorts for me, so I hope to have that on the 'teamidris' YouTube channel in the next few days. He did 'Gary's Trip' for me as well. Gary is a crazed fan who breaks into Scribblers house. Definitely one of my cringey works!

Lost Narrator has now voiced this and it is available on her channel;
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MCFZ9OIAbgE

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

While not the best-written story I've ever read, I adore the direction you took this in. This is like all the horror I felt while reading Friendship Is Optimal taken and given form and validation. Thank you for a great read! :D

Smashing! I loved every minute. :twilightsmile:

lost Narrator really knocked it out of the park for me. I had an idea in my head of the feel of the piece. (I felt that cold chill as Joan saw her old phone). But to pass that on in words is very difficult, so having someone expand on it is great! I was amazed that she portrayed the charector's as 'glitchy'. Plus a big thank you to all those I know and those I don't know who threw in their time!
.
And thank you for your supportive comments on here. I only really got into writing a few months ago and being dyslexic really doesn't help laying down proper sentences. I'm amazed any of it is even readable :o)
Pace is a struggle. When I realised I was 3000 words into something that looked like it would touch 10,000 and I was aiming for a thousand ish, it became a bit daunting! I must have butchered that ending five times, until....
To be honest, untill it really hurt? Once I could barely stand to read it, I knew it was the right ending.

I read "Friendship is Optimal" as it was mentioned in the review. Oh how hooked I was reading it!
I read what I could, had a rest and went right back to reading some more! At chapter eight I was pleased to see how much progress I had made and was instantly saddened that the end of the story was approaching fast. Because the laying down of this concept was done so well with so much thought put into the back stories I'm very glad I hadn't heard of it before I did mine. I think I would have backed away in fear of insult :o)

I'm getting a matrix vibe from this...:rainbowderp:


"#11 · 10h, 48m ago · 1 · · 3. A whole New Me ·
I'm getting a matrix vibe from this...:rainbowderp: "

I bought the dvd of it before I owned a player. That's how sure I was that I would like it :o)

My Little A.I. exceeded 11,000 views on the Lost-Narrators channel this week. I am amazed it has done so well !
Next MLP related job though is this aluminium pony head/mask for UK Ponycon in two weeks. (My first cosplay!) Then it's back to writing and work on the YouTube channel.

It went to 14,000 views on you tube today?
I mean I like it a lot, but I wrote it, so I'm biased. But 14k other folk thought it worth a spin as well?
Wow, thanks :twilightsmile:

Hi nice job hope to see more
:pinkiehappy:

6464841

Not "Too Many Pinkie Pies?" or "The Terminator?" :pinkiegasp:

Twilight made by the fandom....this is going to interesting.:unsuresweetie:
please don't let the bodies pile up please don't let the bodies pile up no cupcakes no cupcakes no cupcakes

Nora D

:facehoof: NORAD....
And I guess please is the magic word.

Well then....make a Celestia? Send it to the UN? And a cadence to all the matchmaking sites?

They gave us debuggers.:pinkiesad2: That's so beautiful I could cry.

Yup...the devious Pinkie is strong.

Ummmmmm!!!:twilightoops:
Oh dear...how to explain what they did wrong....

Rarity just killed some people....and plotted a terrorist assault.:rainbowderp::twilightoops:

Nooooooooooo!!!! I need my words! Pony words, shoujo words, ninja words, game words....anything but that!:raritydespair::raritycry:

Oh boy...where's the element of humanity? Or life? They're a little too distant. And I blame you if this happens in reality.

That ending was awesome. In a way it made this story. A pity though. Maybe they can try again, do it right this time?

Thankyou Dualkitsune, the ending was difficult. And when I say difficult I mean I re-wrote it maybe five times until I couldn't hardly bare to read it.
Then I knew it was right :)

And thanks for the Favorite!

17th Feb 2016 and the original version on Losts channel is over 19,000 views. On my channel it's about to go to 100. I'm super chuffed with those figures.

When I started thinking about this story they were proactively nasty, but "Less is More" for many grimdarks. Making their destruction a by-product of naivety and good intent just feels right !

It just went over 20,000 views on the Lost Narrators channel. I am utterly amazed? Also; Proud, happy and thrilled ;p) I'm so glad that so many people have taken enjoyment from it on YouTube and on here.
Obviously I'm not daft about views and the stats bare the truth out. Maybe 200 folk actually listened to it all the way through? But there have been some good comments and debates on there.
Thank you for taking the time to give my work more than a glancing look :o)

6029616 Ultron twilight. Now that would be teriffying

The only scary things are robots lol not a blood moon monster called bloodlust moon experament from celestia combining nightmare moon and evil twlight now craving blood. Funny is if they made twilight as a robot irl OMG lol

Gosh; I read this ages ago, and have only just realised I didn't come over here to give a like and a comment. As I've said before, I really like the premise for this story. It's got all kinds of disturbing implications, even if some of them (eg the influence of fanfics on Data!Twi) are only skated over. I like short stories, but this one would probably have been even better if it was a little longer. Still well worth the read, though. :twilightsmile:

Thanks Logan :o)
At 8000 words I was kind of beyond my "plot capacity" and was struggling to keep hold of it all in my mind. (Original target was 2000 words.) I'm still pleased with each pony having a chapter to shine in, even if pinkie and flutters share in the phone scam. And a murderously efficient Rarity is still fun to listen too.
Sometimes I think the end should be longer, but you can smell that it will all self detonate half way through anyway I feel :o)

I need to crack on with "Twilights Ghost" but I just can't get in the zone? At least "Soft Flooring" went down well.

Very atmospheric good work.

I'm glad you liked it and thankyou for adding it to your favourite list :o)

Nice

You get a like
And you get a like
Everybody gets a like

I remember finding this a long time ago through Lost Narrator. :twilightsmile:
Was skimming through Reddit and found a writing prompt similar and had to find this story!
Very good listen and story!

Thanks :o) I’m glad you enjoyed it and came back.
That ending though? :o It must be the fifth version I tried and it kicked the hell out of me :D
I was stunned when I first heard chapter one. Losty really made it come alive!

8536019
Defintely! :rainbowkiss: The glitchy voices both turned me off and on at the same time, but it for the story so well I was stuck! :pinkiecrazy:
You did great with that ending!

reminds me of that crazy movie "ruthless people"...

oh, and THIS chapter reminded me of a crazy book called "the cold cash war"...

Rarity is one of my favourites in this. :o)
She struck me as the most ruthless of the mane six in this context.

So wait, what happened to Celestia and Luna?

They ceased to exist as the last of the data banks disintegrated.
Assuming Luna ever existed at all?
In a virtual world, what is existence anyway? What is tangible? Are we anything but our effect on that which surrounds us......

Thanks for taking the time to think about my story. :D It made me re-evaluate a lot of things :o)

Yeah...a great day to be alive. Except for that one guy...:rainbowderp:

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