• Member Since 5th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen February 18th

Shirley Not Serious


I have fallen so far behind, I'm still writing about ideas I had in Season 3.

T
Source

"Why are you late?" questioned Applejack. Her countenance continued to wrinkle in worry.

"Because this is not an appointment, Applejack. There were others close to you that required my attention," responded Death

Others close to you that required my attention. Disbelief roiled inside Applejack. Her entire body turned hot, then cold, then hot again. Anger rose within her, so great it seared the breath from her lungs. She turned to Death screaming, "Who did you take th—" That's when she saw it.

Sweet Apple Acres was on fire.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks to Killsy for proofreading. Also, thanks to CalamityB31 on deviantART for the cover art. Make sure to check out his work.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 43 )

...I upvoted this, but can't quite bring myself to favourite it. Hit a bit to close to home with some of my own fears. Brilliantly written though.

a) "lake of fire and brimstone..." does that mean AB, Big Mac and Granny are in Hell?
b) If AJ is the last Apple, is she "barren" from having children?

Another fic that says Applejack's parents are dead:facehoof:

It was alright, though wasn't all that interesting.

4023909 They are, according to one of the producers. Remember the shooting stars in Apple Family Reunion?:ajbemused:

4024083 They say they represent them. Represent =/= dead

4023909 And really, what else are most people supposed to suspect when we've gone 4 seasons into the show, and nothing (other than 2 shooting stars during the episode "Apple Family Reunion") has been mentioned about them.

4024104 The reason we haven't seem them is simple: They're unimportant to the plot. It's true that Faust planned them to be dead, but she said Hasbro would've never allowed that. So instead, she planned them to be traveling salesponies. But since she left the team, they never got their debut. Same goes for Scootaloo's parents: We haven't seen them yet 'cause they're unimportant to the plot

4024132 Unimportant as they may be, that is still a HUGE gap in some character relationships which could've been easily solved. And to prove it, here are my solutions:

Applejack's Parents:: In the first episode of the first season, Applejack introduces Twilight to her entire family. At the end of this introduction, Applejack could've introduced her parents. Then, when everypony left, the show could've spent an extra second giving a departure to the parents, stating that they're only leaving because they are travelling salesponies.

Scootaloo's Parents: When Apple Bloom goes to Diamond Tiara's Cutie Mark party (in Call of the Cutie), she meets Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. And since there are older ponies at the party, after the Cutie Mark Crusaders join up, the show could've shown each of the CMC leaving with their respective relatives, Sweetie Belle with Rarity, Apple Bloom with Applejack, and Scootaloo with her parents.

4024186 See, the writers are to blame. They didn't plan them

Interesting. The story almost wrote itself like a poem.

4024186

In the end it's a show made for little kids. They're not going to have orphans and references to dead parents in it. Headcannon is fine and all, but it's still just headcannon.

the end... wow
you have achieved epic.

4025756 It's the one thing I love about tragedy: it's never the happy ending everyone expects it to be.

Like the personification of Death in this. Good dialogue for him.
Good enough for a like, but I won't reread this.

4025070
Justified head-canon, with strong emphasis's from the writers without flat out telling us.

This is too in depth to be a one shot, you have to write more.

4028295

That's a pretty good sign.

I'm not the biggest fan of the way Death was portrayed, whom I've always envisioned as an ancient, wise, and sorrowful entity. Sorrowful over the fact that nopony is ever happy to see him/her.

Either way, I can see this being continued as Applejack tries to find a way to kill herself (dark as that is), while her friends try desperately to turn her around, doing whatever they can to bring her will to live back. What you do with it from that point is up to you.

I think there's too much potential for this to end here. But I leave it to you.

4029018 A continuation... hmm?

Sounds like a plan.

4029176
4029018
Yes oh yes! Do it! I've never been a fan of gore or dark fics, but lately I have started to be less critical against dark fics, and how gore or dark you'll ever make the continue to this story, I'll read it!:pinkiecrazy: you sir or ma'm have gotten your self a follower!

Oh, and by the way, what happened to the rest of the Apple family? I thought it were quit big? Or isn't the rest of the family that doesn't live in Ponyville counted?

4029510 By Apples, I mean direct relations to Applejack, which means her brother, sister, and grandmother.

I really wish people who disliked stories would comment why. It really sucks coming home to see 2 new dislikes and not a single comment why.

Damn. This was really dark and depressing. Those tags are well deserved. Good story though, it made feel as if I was actually there watching everything unfold upon itself.



~ Super-Brony12

You seem to have it out for Applejack. You killed her dog in one story, you killed her family in this one and killed her in your first LOTR story with her not being resercted in your second. Should I be worried about this charcter?

4036242 I have nothing against her, but you, like I, did seem to pick up on that she experiences some bad situations in most of my stories. It just seems to be a coincidence.

i read this one day when i was bored...i liked it
i might just read it again, and i almost never even consider reading something again
but you sir/madam have created not just a story but a masterpiece, short stories are usually crappy and half written (my experience with a multitude of fan-fic sites) but no sir, not this one, death the pony? only a brilliant writer would include a character such as death!
the more i think about it, the more im compelled to read this again, if you ever consider writing more chapters, please by all means DO!
i love this little story to death

see what i did there??
keep up the great work!!

Hi! I just wanted to let you know I've done a reading of your story. Thanks for writing such an awesome piece!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I have to ask what the point of this story was. It just seems like needless death and suffering for suffering's sake, and very little of it feels planned out. (Why was Sweet Apple Acres on fire? So Applejack would have a reason to kill herself.)

6035573 While I myself have no belief in fate or destiny, for those who do, death ultimately cannot be beaten. Death will come for us when it is ready, not the other way around. That is the theme of this story.

And even if it wasn't, sometimes it's applaudable to write for writing's sake. Nothing wrong with a quick short story that might have no thematic consequence.

And you can imagine a multitide of reasons for Sweet Apple Acres on fire. It's a wooden barn; already it has a natural predisposition for setting on fire easily. I don't HAVE to tell you why. That would just detract from the emotional effect of the event itself.

Hope you enjoyed it regardless.

as i commented after hearing Lost's reading of this, you know, with the theory that the mane six are immortal (do not mistake this for invulnerable, an immortal can still be killed), sadly, it shows Death stopping aj from killing herself makes a lot of sense. As an element of harmony, she is not allowed to die, less the world fall into something were than chaos (Discord being good and all, he wouldn't totally uprove a world of chaos anymore)

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6036048
Huh. It's interesting, because AJ doesn't cheat Death by not dying. >.>

That said, the barn burning not having an impetus is a problem, because it seems to exist solely to motivate AJ to try to kill herself, just so she can illustrate your point. It's very transparent, it leaves a lot of questions (why couldn't they leave? why couldn't it be put out with magic?), and it solidifies this as authorial tract, even if you were making a point in an interesting way.

6037804 You makes fair points, so thanks for your input; I'll take it into account if I get around to a sequel to this.

And I had a more personal question for you: why does it say "Author Interviewer" under your user name?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6042358
Because I crosspost author interviews from the Royal Canterlot Library to Fimfiction.

I really like this story. And... I wanna ask for permission to translate your fic into russian and publish the translation on this site: ficbook.net

6460712 Sounds fine to me. Enjoy your translation. And thanks for the compliment.

LostNarrator's reading brought me here. I'm a fatalist, so I don't see death as a tragedy, but instead as an inevitability. As such, I really enjoy this story. AJ/Death OTP.

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