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Twilight, being the foremost expert on magic, is no stranger to getting oddities to research and figure out for schools and companies.

But when she gets a device meant to help pegasus and unicorn ponies find prime places to plant and farm, she finds something she wasn't quite expecting.

Maybe it has to do with a familiar trio of apples serving as a company logo...


Click here for editing credits and special thanks!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 77 )

Whoo! Love to see some of my work up and out. If you're down here reading this, then what are you doing? Go and read the story!:ajsmug:

Click here for editing credits and special thanks!

Is there supposed to be a link here?

And, oh yeah, Skeeter wrote a story.

recreateweb.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/homer-computer-woohoo.jpg

Insta-fav without reading first. :pinkiehappy:

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Yeah, try it now.

~Skeeter The Lurker

“Yes, I did say that…” Twilight started, ears folding back. “But I also can’t stand the silence anymore. I need to do something, Spike.”

Twilight smiled. “Took care of that an hour after it was delivered.”

It would appear that there's something missing between these two lines. :duck:

Yes.

I like this.

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VALIDATIOOOOOOOON!

pls blog master I love you? (I'm kidding!)

~Skeeter The Lurker

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Goddamnit, Google.

Fixed.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Last time Skeeter posted a story, I talked about his description not being up to par. I can gladly say that in the year and a half since I last saw Skeeter post a story, he's got the description down. :rainbowwild:

Now let's hope I can get to reading this story unlike that one I commented on and never read.

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Please!

And hey! Got something right, at least!

~Skeeter The Lurker

A few hiccups in the beginning.

Yes, I did say that…” Twilight started, ears folding back. “But I also can’t stand the silence anymore. I need to do something, Spike.”


Twilight smiled. “Took care of that an hour after it was delivered.”

I think you're missing a line.

hello there, Mr. Spike. I have a package for Ms. Twilight,” said Ditzy Doo as soon as the door was opened.

Should be

"Hello there, Mr. Spike. I have a package for Ms. Twilight,” said Ditzy Doo as soon as the door was opened.

You abused the ellipses like a disobedient slave a bit throughout the story.

Also, the wording of this line-

“Why not go out for the rest of the day? Maybe get some fresh air and read a book like you used to do? You’ve been spending far too much time cooped up in here since the whole Tirek fiasco.”

-seemed a bit off-kilter for Spike. Maybe I'm a nitpick.

All in all it was a good start, if a little rocky. I chuckled a bit.

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First should have been fixed already...

~Skeeter The Lurker

“Silly Applejack, that doesn’t go there! Seriously, who’s a silly pony? This mare, right here!”

uhhhh I hate to say this, but however you loaded this into the database seems to have a unhealthy word wrapping code. By that I mean some things the like and the a starts on one line and the nd is on the next. I happens many times throughout the story.

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Yes yes, I know. Some stupid way the thing imports it does it.

I'm stamping them out as I reread it.

Thanks, though, for telling me.

~Skeeter The Lurker

“Yes way! They’re relatives of ours! That there is the legal team for us! The Oranges in Manehattan? They handle the PR work. The Mangos? They’re the ones who handle fabrication. The Peaches? They do all the customer service and quality control. The Blueberries? Exporting!”

Where are the Lemons? The Grapes? The Tomatoes? And especially the Pineapples?

Never did I take you for a fruitist, Skeeter. :trixieshiftright:

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We don't talk about the Lemons, or the Pears. The pinapples... they sort of went on a bender in Haywaii and never came back.

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The text is full of   (non-breaking spaces), and words connected by such a space are actually considered as a single word by the browser's word-wrapping. If the "word" created in such a way is too long for a line, it will be forcibly broken at the end of the line. That can happen in the in the middle of a word.

In other lines it also causes some really terrible word spacing in combination with the justified text alignment.

The apples were a huge family.

The Apples were a huge family.

Did you know bananas were once called "apples of paradise" or that oranges were once called "apples of the orange tree?"

You're such a silly pony AJ! Glad that I could help with this story.:pinkiehappy:

I'm sober now.

I've always liked the idea that Applejack is way smarter than people give her credit. She might look like a simply silly pony (and god help your trees and fences when she gets into the cider) but she's got the smarts where it counts.

And I love anything that takes her self-portrayed image of never lying and kicks it into the dirt where it belongs. She lies all the time. Especially to herself. :derpytongue2:

So a few questions, firstly.

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2e/7a/e1/2e7ae1e850dc484c99033d427ef7e6bf.jpg

Are the money issues that the Apple family have through the years just an act? I don't really see Applejack being okay with spending tons of money on the whole Bat-cave set up instead of getting a new hip for Granny. I'm also curious about why such a deception would even be necessary really, to protect their reputation as down to earth farmers maybe?

Secondly.

. This, Twilight noted was a unique rubber composite mixture that would allow both unicorns and pegasi to hold it with ease. Even more curious, the rubber mix was insulated from magic.

I'm guessing the rubber handles are to prevent unicorns from contaminating the sticks magic with their own but Twilight was able to lift it with magic anyway. What is their purpose?

There's also that bit where AJ is basically saying the Apple family is superior but beyond that this is a great read and I'm excited for the rest.

Uh... Applejack...

“Inconceivable…”

I do not think that word means what you think it means.


Anyways, that aside--Applejack can't lie worth crap, and is an utter failure at successfully deceiving anypony who actually knows her or isn't half-senile. Sure, she still occasionally tries to be deceptive, so Twilight isn't wrong about the fact that she does lie... but there's no way that Applejack could maintain a lie of omission for this long, much less Apple Bloom not blurt it out to absolutely everypony. Especially Diamond Tiara.
Also, how would she become the Element of Honesty? True, she has lied in the past but remained an Element--but containing a continuous, ten-year deception and intentionally painting herself as an uneducated rube to the entire town? And to her friends? That's very different from the occasional fall into dishonesty.

That aside, in an economic sense this is worrying. The fruit families basically have a complete monopoly on the fruit industry. With them also controlling the production of farming supplies for non-earth ponies, this will effectively put the majority of agriculture in Equestria in the control of a single extended family.

You kept saying that Pomum meant ‘apple’. You’re right, but also wrong. It actually means ‘fruit’ in neightin. Neat, huh?

Actually, that isn't quite right. It also means fruit. Latin had two words for apple; pōmum and mālus. While pōmum does mean "fruit" as a whole, it was also used to specifically refer to the apple.

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Anyways, that aside--Applejack can't lie worth crap, and is an utter failure at successfully deceiving anypony who actually knows her or isn't half-senile. Sure, she still occasionally tries to be deceptive, so Twilight isn't wrong about the fact that she does lie... but there's no way that Applejack could maintain a lie of omission for this long, much less Apple Bloom not blurt it out to absolutely everypony. Especially Diamond Tiara.

Also, how would she become the Element of Honesty? True, she has lied in the past but remained an Element--but containing a continuous, ten-year deception and intentionally painting herself as an uneducated rube to the entire town? And to her friends? That's very different from the occasional fall into dishonesty.

Don't worry. The joke will be completed in the later chapter. Consider this the warm-up to the punchline, heh.

That aside, in an economic sense this is worrying. The fruit families basically have a complete monopoly on the fruit industry. With them also controlling the production of farming supplies for non-earth ponies, this will effectively put the majority of agriculture in Equestria in the control of a single extended family.

This is actually a running theme of this story. AJ's family is benign enough, but when Twi starts to see the implications... well, let's just say she will have to have a meeting with the other leaders of Equestria before things get too out of hoof.

Well this sure is interesting in a Frank-N-stine monsters way.

:ajsmug: Look the pomum stick works !
:moustache: It's making Rares belly glow
:raritystarry: Spikey , YOU-ME-BED-NOW!
:twilightoops: RARITY?
:ajsmug: Fertility a Pomum stick side effect.
:moustache: I'll take one.:raritystarry: nom nom nom:facehoof: Oh no!

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In regards to the second part, we actually do point that out.

Applejack herself mentions it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

OK at first I was iffy about this... but reading it i can say I want more!

Well, this looks intriguing! Good to see you writing again, Skeets!

“I’m probably going to rob the treasury of the Crystal Empire and eat the Crystal Heart.”

Ehh, it probably tastes pretty good.

She started to stick the apparatus in her ear, grin never wavering. “Silly Applejack, that doesn’t go there! Seriously, who’s a silly pony? This mare, right here!” She placed a hoof over her chest and widened her grin.

Very convincing.

This is a hell of a lot of fun.

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Hearing you say that makes me giggle madly.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This first chapter made my day. I love the idea of the overarching family co controlling everything. Was worth te wait and was worth bugging you to to get writing. Keep doing that! And finally if rarity can be the epitome of greed one moment and generosity the next, I don't have a problem with Aj not telling people about things that ain't thier business

This needs a lot of proofing. And don't use justify, use left-alignment like every sane person on Earth.

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Yeah, yeah. I've already noted that.

Trying to fix it up. And the justify was Garnot's doing. Also, was the "sane" bit really needed?

~Skeeter The Lurker

I've imagined something like this, but never turned it into a story. It's like you read my mind.

Ba-dump! Update soon?

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Aye, hopefully by the end of the week.

Garnot was off on business and I had a bit of a rough week.

Haven't forgotten about this, though.

~Skeeter The Lurker

New chapter is up!

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The update is live.

Woah. That synopsis sounds kewl-!!!

Pretty sure by now Twilight must thinks she's on drugs, in a coma, or has lost her mind.

I know Applejack is dense, but she really hasn't gained the thought that people would not find this in any way normal or sane. To see several people die and turn out to not really be real? The golem thing? Twilight is going to EXPLODE by the end of this. :facehoof:

“Yes ma’am. Experiment 344 (codename pie) is in…” Twilight could only nod dumbly, still awestruck by what she was seeing. That and the fact that there was something odd about the computer voice. She just could figure out why.

I assume this is supposed to be 'couldn't'?

“sometimes, it feels like we’re just part of some show or sitcom or, something.”

Gee, what could the 'something' be referring to, I wonder? :trixieshiftright:

“And why have you never used any of your inventions to turn the tide when things have gone south? Sure, you wanted to keep this secret, but I can still think of many times those little automatons of yours alone could have been useful! You still could up kept some semblance of secrecy!”

I believe you meant 'of'.

Applejack smirked. “That was lil’ more than a cover story, sug. The truth was that I was tryin’ a live tastin’ of my homemade sweets. I mean, what better test subjects that unaware nobles with picker tastes than a koala?”

Than.

“Nevermind. The point is, it was all a cover story, and the rea re—”

Real.

If you'd like, I could come on board as an editor. :twilightsmile:

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We do have a good few... No one perfect, though.

But I thank you for pointing them out. Should be good in a few.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Well, that happened.
Are lawn gnomes invading now?
And how far off did you shift the tech tree, anyways?

Love this story. Woot for Skeeter the Lurker.
Though I am half expecting some form of selfcest sidestory to pop up.:twilightoops:

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Alright. Think we got'em all.

Dunno why they never took, but eh. Lesson learned.

~Skeeter The Lurker

And it turns out everypony knows save Twilight. This has got to be either the worst kept secret from everypony or the best kept secret for only letting Twilight not know!

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