The Apple's Science

by Skeeter The Lurker


Chapter 1

The palace was quiet, not that Twilight was complaining, seeing as it gave her some peace at long last. After the things she and her friends had been through as of late, sitting around doing absolutely nothing was just fine.

“Except it’s not,” Twilight said to herself as she jumped off her crystal throne.

“What’s up, Twilight?” Spike asked, not even bothering to look away from his comic book.

“How can everypony be so nonchalant about there being nothing to do?”

“But weren’t you saying a few hours ago how nice it is that things are finally quiet?” Spike licked his finger and flipped to the next page. “Or was I imagining the whole thing?”

“Yes, I did say that…” Twilight started, ears folding back. “But I also can’t stand the silence anymore. I need to do something, Spike.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “What about all that paperwork you had to do for the princesses?”

Twilight smiled. “Took care of that an hour after it was delivered.”

Spike lowered his comic enough to make eye contact with Twilight. “The financing deal Rarity wanted you to oversee?”

“Done and done.”

“The organization of your new library?”

“Please. I did that while sleepwalking.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Was that the reason Luna was here for two nights in a row?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Luna was here?”

Spike sighed. “Nevermind.” He muttered something under his breath about ‘never getting recognition she deserves’ before looking up again. “Well, in that case, there’s nothing left to do,” Spike said as he flipped another page of his comic. “Why not go out for the rest of the day? Maybe get some fresh air and read a book like you used to do? You’ve been spending far too much time cooped up in here since the whole Tirek fiasco.”

Twilight hated to admit it, but Spike was right. Ever since Tirek was vanquished, she had done nothing but stay in her new palace. There had been no new threats to Equestria, and aside from her royal duties, there was nothing to do. Maybe I do need to get out for a bit.

There was a knock at the double doors to what Twilight and the others had come to refer to as “the strategy room” on account of the life-like map on display.

“I’ll get it,” Spike said, hopping off his small throne and making his way to the door, his claws clicking against the crystalline floor.

“Oh, hello there, Mr. Spike. I have a package for Ms. Twilight,” said Ditzy Doo as soon as the door was opened.

“I’m Princess Twilight’s personal assistant,” Spike said, a wide smile forming on his lips. “I can sign in her stead. Thank you.”

Ditzy reached into her duffle bag, and, despite going against the rules of physics, pulled out a package that was far longer than she was. She handed the parcel over and the clipboard to sign, Spike being stunned by the size of the box. How in the world did she carry this in her bag? Spike decided it was best not to ask questions and just opted to sign the clipboard. After giving Spike a salute, Ditzy left the premises just as quickly as she had arrived.

“You’ve got a package,” Spike said, walking back to Twilight with the parcel in his claw. “Kinda heavy and big too. Wonder what it could be.”

Twilight wrapped the box in her telekinesis, lifting it out of Spike’s claws. “Maybe it’s another ‘thank you’ gift from the people of Equestria.” She rolled her eyes and grinned. “As if I need more of those.” She glanced sideways, down a hall, and into a room full of all kinds of assorted knick-knacks and plaques, the grand majority saying something along the lines of “thank you.”

With care, she tore off the paper wrapping and read the label. Twilight’s eyebrow rose as the sender’s name became clear. “Canterlot University? What on earth could they be sending me?”

“Maybe an honorary degree or another trophy?” Spike replied.

Twilight smiled and lightly shook her head in reply. With the package held firmly in front of her, she trotted down the hall to her study as thoughts swam through her head. Does Professor E. Matter still reside there? What could they want to send me? Did they ever get my 87 page thesis on cloud manipulation?

Suddenly, she banged her knee against her desk with a hard “umph.” Grumbling, she set the package upon her desk, stared at it for a fraction of a second, and opened it with the care of a foal with a present during Hearth’s Warming Day. After the sound of tearing and ruffling paper passed, Twilight stepped back with a puzzled look. She could say she had no clue what to expect, but it most certainly wasn’t whatever this was.

The object was a rod of about a single yard, made from a most exquisite breed of redwood tree, and split at the one end so to resemble a Y. At the center of the Y was a crystal—a glance suggested quartz or cubic zirconia—with the telltale glow of magic.

The longer part of the Y was engraved with various runes and sigils, presumably to act as a conduit for whatever spell the crystal contained. That, she figured, was to help direct the spell to whatever it was pointed at. The two smaller arms of the Y were completely unremarkable save for the coverings on the endings of them. This, Twilight noted, was a unique rubber composite mixture that would allow both unicorns and pegasi to hold it with ease. Even more curious, the rubber mix was insulated from magic.

So, whatever the object was, it was able to be held by a flying pegasus or a unicorn for… some reason or another. It would, she noted, be nice for whoever made this to practice a bit more on magic in general. As is, she had no clue what the spell was for, and she wasn’t going to risk triggering it just yet. That was a good way to cause a problem she had no desire to deal with. Her encounter with the royal plunger taught her that lesson quite well.

And so, Twilight sat at her desk mulling over possible, practical, and impractical uses for this object —mostly the impractical— at least, until a clearing of a throat caught her attention.

“Y’know… You could read the letter that came with it.” Spike pointed to a lone envelope mixed in with the massacred parcel box. “Might say what it is or where it came from.”

Twilight rubbed the back of her head and gave a chuckle. “Uh, right! I, uh, knew that…”

“Uh huh. I’m heading out. Rarity asked me to help with some errands.”

“Ok, have fun…” she said absentmindedly, her eyes poring over the details in the letter. Spike rolled his eyes.

“I’m probably going to rob the treasury of the Crystal Empire and eat the Crystal Heart.”

“Ok, have fun.”

Spike rolled his eyes and walked out the door. Probably for the best, he mused. Twilight was always a pain when she got like this.

To Princess Twilight
From the Desk of Dr. E. Matter

First of all, I would like to extend a hoof in gratitude over your work dealing with the many threats that have recently started to appear all around this fine nation of ours. I would also like to express gratulations on behalf of the entire staff over your recent coronation. Many of us knew you would be going places, but few could have really expected you to become a princess. We hope that your new role as ruler will not impact your quest for knowledge.

Now, on to the matter at hoof. The reason I sent you this device is because it has come to our attention that the developer, Pomum Science and Co., has neglected to properly calibrate this to the necessary arcane standards that the University prides itself in. As such, we sent the device over to you so you can properly calibrate it and also run various tests to ensure its quality, as well as document the procedure for Pomum Science and Co. to use in future endeavors.

You’re probably wondering what this device is. The short of it is that it’s a specialized rod designed to aid pegasi and unicorn farmers overcome the lack of a ‘sixth sense’ that earth ponies are known to possess when it comes to caring for the land. This is due to the recent explosion of land expansion occurring both to the north and the south. As such, it is absolutely crucial that the device works without fail. Otherwise, the lives of thousand of farmers and pioneers will be put at risk.

I hope this package finds you at an opportune time. While I am aware that you may have various royal duties to oversee, I would ask that this matter be looked into as soon as it is possible. The quicker we can deduce what is wrong with the device, the sooner we can press Pomum Science and Co. into full-scale production.

Sincerely: Dr. E Matter. Headmaster of the Canterlot University

Setting the letter on the table, Twilight turned her attention the newly identified object. Grasping it with her magic, she gave it a cursory scan based on what she now knew, and sure enough she found the telltale traces of spell designed to detect the most fertile place to plant.

Looks like they tried to make a completely new spell based off of earth pony magic, Twilight mused, setting down the rod and bringing a hoof to her chin, but the spell matrix is… rough. Amateurish. Almost like the creator wasn’t even a unicorn. Turning to look at her extensive collection of books, scrolls, and recorded crystals, a new thought entered her mind: Who or what, exactly, is Pomum Science and Co. and why have I not heard of them?

Sucking in a breath, Twilight yelled, “Spiiiiiiiike! I need a book!”

After a pause, Twilight mentally slapped herself. Spike left for the day, he even told her as much. Something about the crystal heart? Whatever it was, she figured he’d be alright. With that out of the way, she walked over to her bookshelf, and plucked the book that listed all the known businesses in Equestria.

However, she was surprised to find nothing. Nada. Zip. A scan of the contents showed no such company even existed. After what became a solid two hour search through as many books she had on businesses—as the newly formed tower on her desk would attest—she was displeased to note that not one of them made mention of this company. This, she figured, told one major thing:

Pomum Science and Co. was newly formed, as in, within 10-15 years.

Growling in frustration, Twilight slammed her hoof down on the desk, causing an encyclopedia to fall upon her head. With a groan, she wiped the small tear that had formed in her eye before plucking the offending book up to see which volume it was.

It was volume one. And even more curious, it was opened to apple. Twilight began closing it when something caught her eye on the page; a partial list of translations for apple. One of which, she noted with surprise, was Pomum.

She blinked. And she blinked again. Could Pomum Science and Co. actually be called Apple Science and Co.? A silly name, but, then again... Picking up the device sent to her again, she scoured it for any sign of a logo, mark, or whatever that could prove her theory was—hopefully—wrong.

But sure enough, she found it. Sitting right under the magic crystal was a small logo she initially mistook as part of the glyphs: a small set of three apples connected by an open circle.

Her jaw dropped as she began to connect the dots. No way. No. Way. No freaking way is that real. Dashing back to her desk, she once again opened the various books piled on it, this time almost certain of what she was looking for. And she was right.

She found plows. She found hoes. She found millers. She found fermenters. She found fertilizers and pesticides. All of it designed for pegasi and unicorns. All of them with the same three apple mark. But no further info on who or what made up the whole of the company itself. Not that it mattered, all the questions she had vanished as a newer, bigger one took their place:

Could Pomum Science and Co. be who I think it is…?

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense—in a sort of weird, bizarro-like way. The apples were a huge family. They had members living in just about every city in Equestria, and a few abroad in the furthest reaches of civilization. They didn’t show it or flaunt it, but they had huge political push with the nobles, and as the largest producers of apples and apple accessories, they no doubt had an unfathomably large bank account to their name. What’s more, it was no secret that Ponyville itself was founded by the Apple family, one of those members still being around despite the event taking place some three-hundred years earlier.

Farmers with deep pockets? I can understand. Secret politicians that can shape how things are run around Equestria? Pushing it, but still possible. Scientists that have developed a whole catalog of farming equipment? The more Twilight tried to think it to herself, the more the whole notion seemed like a bad joke. Then again, stranger things have happened around Equestria…

Twilight closed the encyclopedia and picked up the device off the table. There was only one way to get to the bottom of it all.

“I mean, Applejack’s the element of Honesty for goodness’ sake, of course she’s going to tell me the truth.” She laughed to herself, getting brief flashbacks to the time Applejack had been turned into a liar by Discord...

...And the time she lied about her situation with the rodeo medals.

...And the time she lied about her state of being during apple-bucking season.

“In retrospect, maybe Dash should have gotten the Element of Honesty, and AJ should have gotten the Element of Loyalty…”


A little flight and few short teleports later, Twilight found herself at the gateway to Sweet Apple Acres. She took a moment to gaze out at the magnificent apple trees and noted that they seemed almost ripe for picking. Taking a breath and exhaling, she opened the gate and trotted up to the house.

Granny Smith, who was snoozing on the porch, woke up the second Twilight got within earshot of her. She instantly shot a hoof toward the barn. “Barn.” Granny said simply, and promptly fell back to sleep.

Twilight smirked at that, wondering if the elder mare knew about Applejack’s—possible—secret. If she didn’t, well… Something for them to talk about later, she figured.

Approaching the barn, Twilight heard a thump. Opening the door revealed Applejack moving a freshly made hay bale over toward the pile of finished ones. Heaving a sigh, Applejack turned towards the creak of the door, spotting Twilight at the entrance.

With a large smile, Applejack trotted toward her. “Well howdy there, Twilight!” she exclaimed, throwing a hoof around her friend and pulling her into a tight embrace, “Fancy seein’ ya here!”

Twilight returned the embrace, smiling nervously, her plan of attack crumbling upon the realization she had no real clue how to actually ask. “Oh, uh, hi Applejack. Just thought I’d, uh, stop by and say hi.”

“Issat so? Mighty fine to see you here.” Cocking her head to the side, Applejack stared at Twilight quizzically. “Look’s like you have somethin’ on your mind.” She noted the yard-long rod Twi was carrying. “...and somethin’ on yer hooves. Anythin’ I can help you with?”

“Well. I’m not sure, actually. Looking at it now, it seems really silly of me.”

“Oh? What would that be?”

Using her magic, Twilight opened her satchel and withdrew a piece of paper with the Pomum’s company logo on it and levitated it in front of Applejack. “I got this from Canterlot University. It’s the logo to a company specializing in farming for pegasi and unicorns. I was wondering if you happened to know anything about it.”

Twilight missed the look of uncertainty cross Applejack’s face. She didn’t, however, miss the sudden stammer and strain her voice picked up. “I, um... I-uh, I don’t know anythin’ ‘bout that at all! No siree!”

Snapping her head around, Twilight shot a questioning glance at Applejack. “Are you sure…?”

“Er... positive!”

“Because did you know that Pomum was another word for ‘apple’?”

“I, uh... I-I don’t quite get why you’d say that...”

“And that the company that has that logo is roughly 10 to 15 years of age?”

“W-what, what does that have to do with, uh, anything?”

“Matches up with half as old you are, actually.”

“Oh… uh.... what a mighty fine coincidence!”

“Not to mention, like I said before, they make farm equipment exclusively?”

“Well... anypony could do that!”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Applejack…”

“What! I don’t know nothin’ about no Pomum Science and Co.!”

Twilight blinked. “I never said their name.”

Applejack took a step backwards. “W-well… well I-I-I, I test stuff for them!”

“Then you know them!”

Applejack was the one to narrow her eyes now. “Now, lookee here, just because I test stuff out for ‘em doesn’t mean I’m all ‘friendship is magic’ with that lot.”

“I’m not saying you’re a friend to the company, Applejack. I’m saying that you know who they are, which is the exact information I am looking for.”

“Like I said, I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that lot.”

“But you just said you tested stuff out for them! How can you test stuff for a company, and then turn around and claim you don’t know them!”

Applejack sat on her haunch and put her hooves on the side of her head. “For once in your life Twi, trust me when I say that this is somethin’ you’re best not knowin’ ‘bout.”

Twilight took a deep breath and straightened her chest and neck, taking on the most regal pose she could. “Applejack, this isn’t just a matter of me being curious. I was sent this letter by the University. The product’s magical properties are faulty, and they want a fix before anypony who purchases this gets hurt, or worse. This is as close to a matter of national security as it gets.”

At Twilight’s words, Applejack sprung up and snatched the device right out of Twilight’s telekinetic grasp. “Inconceivable! How can the magical matrix not be working properly after so many weeks of extensive testing and calibrations! Oh, this isn’t good. I am going to have to re-draft the whole thing if… if—” Applejack cut herself off, her ears perking in realization of what had just happened. Slowly, she turned back to face Twilight, grin forming in her lips. “Ah mean, gee, this here contraption sure is mighty complex. Ah have never seen nothin’ quite like this before.” She started to stick the apparatus in her ear, grin never wavering. “Silly Applejack, that doesn’t go there! Seriously, who’s a silly pony? This mare, right here!” She placed a hoof over her chest and widened her grin.

Twilight could only stare at her friend with a raised eyebrow and mouth agape. At that exact moment, Big Macintosh walked into the barn to drop off some sacks of apple seeds. He looked into his sister’s eyes and shook his head, his expression deadpan, but still surprisingly disappointed. He stretched his shoulders and back and walked off just as suddenly as he had arrived.

Applejack, after holding on to her grin for what must have been five minutes, finally sighed and sagged her head. “Inconceivable…” she whispered under her breath. She looked up to her friend and gave a weak smile. “Guess Big mac’s right. I’ve been caught red-hooved.” She extended her hoof, holding out the apparatus she had snatched from Twilight. “Ya better hold on to this here device.”

Twilight, hesitantly wrapped her telekinesis around the item and set her gaze upon Applejack. She half expected her to start another ramble about not knowing anything, but was instead shocked when the farm pony got up and motioned Twilight to follow.

The pair walked up to a seemingly normal wall of the barn whose only exceptional quality was its overabundance of rusted farming tools.

“Twilight, sugarcube. Ever heard of the term, ‘things aren’t always what they seem?’”

Twilight’s only reply was a weak nod.

Applejack smiled. “Well, there’s a reason why such a term is valid.” She reached out for a particularly rusted hoe and pulled on it. At first, it looked like it would topple over. but right before it hit the ground, a loud click rang, followed by the hoe’s sudden return to the wall. Seconds later, a loud hiss emanated from behind the pair. Twilight and Applejack both turned to face what looked to be some kind of hatch that had sprung open, revealing a chrome box.

“An… elevator?” Twilight asked, her mind still unable to fully process the sight before her.

“Ya bet! But not just any elevator!” she pushed her friend right into it, hopping in herself soon afterwards. “It’s the gateway to a wondrous place! Past the bolted doors where impossible things may happen that the world’s never seen before!”

Slapping a red down arrow, the elevator began its descent into the unknown. Twilight, whose wings were slightly open in reflex, glanced over toward Applejack. Not only was she seeing one of her best friends in a whole new light, she also seemed exceedingly happy to be able to reveal her secret to someone worthwhile. At least, she assumed so, going by the fact that Applejack was prancing in place with a large grin plastered on her face.

Applejack looked over to her friend, grinning. Seeing the concern and worry, she stopped prancing and looked to the floor wistfully. Calmly, she took a breath and looked back toward Twilight.

“Twilight, we’re farmers. We’ve always been farmers, and we always will be farmers.”

“Uh?”

“Looky here, missy, just ‘cause I happen to invent things doesn’t mean I don’t actually grow apples. This mark on my rump means apples are in my blood.”

“Ok?”

Applejack sighed. “I’m probably going about this like a clown pony goes about actually bein’ in the rodeo.” She turned toward Twilight. “See, my family got our start in farming, yes, but we’ve always been more clever than the average pony. That has lead to us bein’ skilled in many, many, many areas you wouldn’t actually expect. Such as this, me being a scientist and inventor.”

Twilight’s face went from nervous to confused. “Wait, all of you? Your whole family is like this?”

“Clever people and geniuses? You bet’cha. You kept saying that Pomum meant ‘apple’. You’re right, but also wrong. It actually means ‘fruit’ in neightin. Neat, huh?” Applejack smirked.

“But, wait… fruit…?” Twilight blinked. If that was the case… “Then what about the three apple logo?”

“Shucks. That’s because I happen to be the founder and CEO of it all. You’re a clever pony, Twilight. Surely you can think of what the ‘and Co.’ part of it means if I’m the ‘Science’ part.”

Placing a hoof to her jaw Twilight lapsed into a concentration. If Pomum means fruit, and Applejack is the science part of it… Then that means… “...It’s a family company… All of the Apples are in on it…”

Applejack broke into a large grin and clopped her hooves together. “Bingo! You got it! Pomum Science and Co. is a family owned and operated company! We Apples make up the science part of it all. You ever heard of the Bananas?”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. “The… the only earth pony noble house in Canterlot…? No way…”

“Yes way! They’re relatives of ours! That there is the legal team for us! The Oranges in Manehattan? They handle the PR work. The Mangos? They’re the ones who handle fabrication. The Peaches? They do all the customer service and quality control. The Blueberries? Exporting!”

“What about the Pears?” Twilight asked, recalling how she had heard the name once.

Applejack’s expression darkened. “We don’t talk ‘bout that lot.”

Twilight started to shake as the sheer implications of what Applejack was saying hit her. Applejack, on a roll, continued on. “Heck, you probably already know how big a family I have. Plus I already told you this family is a lot more clever than the average pony. I… just happen to be the brightest o’ the bunch.”

“But to do so much in so little time…”

“Twilight. You saw us make a barn in what? Half a day? And that was with only a few Apples. You really think the entire clan couldn’t establish ourselves in such a way in ten years?”

Twilight tossed the idea around in her head a bit. Looking at it that way, she had to agree. If they could do that in half a day… There really wasn’t much to stop them from doing anything they set out to do as a whole.

Somehow, that thought scared her deeply.

A sudden rumbling of gears alerted them to the fact that the elevator was arriving at wherever it was arriving. Applejack perked up. “Ah, we’re here!” Stepping out of the elevator, Applejack walked over to a small metal desk, picking up a set of goggles. Placing them on her head, she then walked over to a small metal door and opened it. “This way, please.”

Twilight walked through the door, the nervousness returning as she beheld the massive double bulkhead doors in front of her. If she had to guess just how far down they were, this outright demolished it. Each was as tall as Applejack’s barn and just as wide, complete with massive vault-like locks that could rival the most secure bank in Equestria. Twilight had no doubt that this was the most secure place in the world save for Princess Celestia’s own vault.

Applejack stopped in front of a small podium complete with a hoof reader on it and turned towards Twilight. “Now, as one fellow scientist to another, you can understand when I say ‘please follow proper protocol in the lab’ and be very cautious of what you touch.”

Twilight could only nod dumbly, still staring at the doors.

“I wouldn’t worry,” Applejack continued, “most everythin’ in here is safe. The chances of you getting hurt are quite slim, unless you ignore the obvious signs like Pinkie Pie did and still does at times.” She shook her head in confusion. “I’ve never seen a pony take that much electricity and still stand, much less bounce.”

That caught Twilight’s attention. “Wait, what? Do… Could you know the secret behind the Pie Sense…?”

Applejack laughed and pressed her hoof to the pad, triggering lights and klaxons to blare in warning and alarm. “When it comes to the Pinkie sense, It’s a mystery that’s beyond science. It’s best to just follow it as is.”

With a rumble that was louder than the elevator, the massive doors began to slide open. Applejack smiled wider and made a gesturing motion with her hoof. “Welcome to my lil’ wonderland.”