Chapter 2
Applejack, grinning like a foal in a candy shop, placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Hey, wanna see somethin’ fancier than a penguin at the Galloping Gala?”
Without waiting for Twilight to reply, Applejack put a hoof to her mouth and whistled. Seconds later, several flying contraptions Twilight had never seen in her life approached the pair. The chrome machines were the size of a pony’s barrel and shaped like eggs with a single glowing optic shaped like an oversized spying glass. The upper half of each machine was transparent, showing off dozens of small gears moving in unison, no doubt powering the propellers that kept the eggs aloft.
“Neat huh?” Applejack said, her smile only growing wider. “Some of my first ever creations. Call the little buggers ‘helpers’. Made them out of scrap metal and gears and modified them later, when I had more of a mechanical touch.”
Twilight’s eyes focused on the machine’s glowing ‘eye’. “Are those things powered by magic?”
“Shoot, no! Made these buggers way before I even knew how to control magical energy sources. These little fellas are battery powered.” She giggled. “Had to use plain old batteries at first.” Applejack’s expression grew grim. “Can’t tell ya how much money I blew just keeping these little fellas operational back them. I decided that it was better to give them somethin’ with more of a kick than just plain double AA batteries. That’s when I had a breakthrough!” She turned to one of the machines and grabbed it out of the air. The propeller stopped spinning as the machine seemingly went into a slumbered state. She flipped the back open, revealing a pair of seemingly mundane AA’s. “See these? The’re actually stronger versions of the batteries used by everyday folk’ Neat, huh?.”
Twilight blinked. “But how can there be more powerful batteries than what we have now? They look the same to me.”
“Why, by using somethin’ nopony would have otherwise: lead-acid. Makes them rechargable too! Neat, huh?”
Twilight’s eyes grew wide. “That’s… brilliant. Simple and cheap, albeit dangerous.”
Applejack laughed. “Oh, come now sugarcube, you know as well as I do that without danger, there can’t be progress!” She let the machine go, which returned to its flying the instant it felt the grip of her mistress lossen. “And speaking of progress,” she clapped her hooves together, at which point the machine’s midsection started to open. Small clawed appendages holding a labcoat and two pairs of black rubber hoof coverings were presented to Applejack, who nodded.
In a flurry of movements that Twilight had trouble keeping up with, the machines not only tied Applejack’s hair in a tight bun and brushed her coat, but also placed the labcoat over her and fitted the hoof coverings snugly. By the time the machines retreated, a whole new mare stood in front of Twilight. Had she not known who it was already, could have been confused for a scientist under the employ of the Canterlot University.
“Now then, why don’t I show ya ‘round?”
Applejack adjusted her collar and began to trot off, smiling in such a way that showed she was truly enjoying herself.
Coming to a stop almost as soon as she started walking, Applejack turned her head to look at Twilight. “Ya can ask, ya know.” She said with a sly smirk.
“Uh, ask what?”
Still smirking, Applejack replied with a gesture of her hoof to the surrounding area. “Um… HOW… big is this place?”
Twilight’s ears dropped. “Oh, yeah. That kinda slipped out of my mind after the little bot display.”
This got a huge smile from the farmer-turned-scientist pony. “Half as big as Canterlot itself.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped as she took in that revelation. There was simply no way that was possible, and she was about to voice her disbelief before she was cut off by Applejack.
“Allow me to answer that before ya ask.” Sucking in a lungful of air, she turned to nothing in particular and let loose a yell, “Computer! Show Twilight how big this place here is!”
In response, a smooth voice answered in mere second. “As you requested.”
Up on the ceiling of the lab, a large screen descended and powered on. Cycling through what appeared to be random information, three maps appeared on it. One was of Canterlot, of course. The other was naturally of Applejacks lab. And smack dab in between them was both maps superimposed onto one another. And sure enough, the lab Twilight found herself in big enough to not only house the entirety of Canterlot Castle, but also the whole of the downtown area and at least half of the noble’s residential district.
“But how do you get around this place so easily? It takes a good half hour to get from one end of the downtown area to the other, and that’s even if you use the main thoroughfare!”
Applejack shrugged. “Powered scooters, runic teleport pads, and a prototype portal gun, mostly.”
“Portal gun?”
“Eeyup. Was kinda tricky figuring out the quantum bits to it. I came so close to making a whole new branch of math just to get the equations right. Even had to visit an insane asylum for some help.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah, other scientists tried and went mad from the research. Best if you don’t question it. Anyway, would you mind givin’ me one second? Computer! Give me a run down on the current experiment statuses.”
“Yes ma’am. Experiment 344 (codename pie) is in…” Twilight could only nod dumbly, still awestruck by what she was seeing. That and the fact that there was something odd about the computer voice. She just couldn't figure out why.
Then a thought hit her. “Applejack… is… is that Princess Celestia’s voice for the computer?”
Applejack turned to her. “Knew ya’d notice that right quick. It is indeed her voice. In fact, the computer itself is an AI based off of her majesty herself!”
“You… have an AI?” Twilight asked.
“That is correct, and I am a fully functional sentient computer mapped directly from your mentor’s brainwaves. Only instead of magic, I have technology to use. You may call me CelestiAI.”
Twilight looked at the computer screen. “...CelestiAI?” She saw Applejack nod and could almost feel the computer do the same. “What a stupid name…”
“It was her idea.” Applejack said with a shrug.
Applejack clapped her hooves. The image upon the ceiling vanished, leaving instead what looked to be nothing but a white void.
Something about the white expanse unnerved Twilight. To her, it felt like the first time she had really stopped to look into the night sky as a foal. Truth be told, she was still wrapping her head around what she had just been a witness to. Computers and software were pretty advanced in Equestria, but no where near the level here, complete with a computer not only larger than all of Canterlot itself, but one capable of displaying images with such vibrant colors and resolution, she could have sworn the image was real.
Applejack noticed her friend’s flabbergasted stare. “Now sug, I know you must feel like an ant seein’ a pony for the first time, but you gotta understand the sudden situation ya put me in. I was plannin’ on revealing all of this to you little by little, but ya just sorta sprang up on me like a jackrabbit in a carrot patch.”
Twilight blinked. Though she tried to deny it at first, she couldn’t help but feel some resentment forming in the pit of her belly. She turned to her friend. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Applejack rubbed the back of her head. “See, funny story ‘bout that. I really did want to tell ya’ll about it—cross my heart, hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye,” She made the motion Pinkie Pie had shown them all some time ago—the ‘unbreakable’ vow that, ironically enough, Applejack herself had sort of broken back when they had visited Dodge Junction. “But the timing was never right. I mean, this here is a lot to take in.”
Twilight’s only reply was a meek nod. Applejack’s statement was an understatement.
“I first wanted to tell ya right after we became good friends and we helped save Princess Celestia, but I figured ya needed some time to rest after the whole Nightmare Moon fiasco. ‘Sides, ya started to really get a lotta work from the Princess soon after.
“I later tried to tell ya during the apple bucking season ‘bout a year ago, but gosh darn it if Big Mac didn’t tick me off and made me want to do things the old fashioned way.” Applejack laughed. “Surprise surprise, I screwed that up harder than a non-unicorn tryin’ ta cast magic an’ fly at the same time.
“From there, thing’s just sorta kept getting outta hoof for me. Tried to tell ya during the Gala as a thanks for getting me ‘n the others tickets, and things just sorta went south. Tried again to tell ya soon after, ‘n Discord showed up to screw things up more than a tornado through a field of tumbleweeds. Tried again a few month’s later, and yer big bro’s wedding and the whole debacle with them shape-shifter varmints came nosin’ in. An ya know the rest. Crystal empire, more nonsense in between, and then yer coronation. Finally figured I could say somethin’ when, wham! Tirek out of freakin’ nowhere!” Applejack sighed. “Ya can probably see why tellin’ ya ‘bout this has been difficult.” She chuckled, “sometimes, it feels like we’re just part of some show or sitcom or, something.”
Twilight gave the massive laboratory another sweep. “I’m just… lost for words, really. I’m actually glad you never told me about this. I don’t think I would have been able to handle all of this, and whatever else was making our lives difficult at the time.” She blinked a few times before finally settling her sight back on Applejack. “How in the wide-wide world of Equestria did you manage to keep all of this secret from everypony else? Does your family even know you have this… city, under their very hooves? Does Celestia and Luna know about this?” She narrowed her eyes, “And why have you never used any of your inventions to turn the tide when things have gone south? Sure, you wanted to keep this secret, but I can still think of many times those little automatons of yours alone could have been useful! You still could of kept some semblance of secrecy!”
“I wasn’t sure if it would have been a good idea to. Some ponies can be rather stubborn with this kind’a thing. If ol’ Uncle Coccinea Banana is to be believed, he had a hard enough time introducing the smaller things to them!” Applejack shook her head. “Just getting the rights to do this took a drain on the family funds.” She finished with a shrug.
“Not, mind ya, that it mattered much.” She said, trotting over toward a large machine covered in what appeared to be an absolute mess of multi colored quilts. “I have this baby now!” Picking up a gold bullion brick, she popped it into a slot on the side with an arrow comically saying ‘insert here’. Once it dropped with a reassuring thud, she slapped a big green button on the side and brought the machine to life. With a loud series of bangs, pops, clicks, and squeaks, the machine soon began to spit out on to a conveyor belt what appeared to be small circular coins made from the gold brick.
Twilight picked one up with her magic and examined it. Sure enough, it was a gold bit you’d see in a common marketplace. “It’s… a money maker…?”
“Darn right it is. Helps out mighty fine when I make an invention that… uh, doesn’t quite fit the bill.”
“But, what about inflation? And legality?”
“Emergencies only.” She said with a smile, tossing the small fortune down a chute near the conveyor belt. Twilight never saw it, but the coins tumbled down deep into the ground, landing on a pile of coins that filled a room that was the size of Applejack’s barn. On a small screen somewhere in the lab proper, a computer tallied the coins and added that number to an already unfathomable number.
“But what about the farm? If you have that why do you need the apple farm?”
Applejack tensed up. Turning about, she walked up to Twilight and pressed a hoof firmly into the alicorn’s chest. “Because I’m a farmer. It’s in my blood.”
“What about your hair-brained scheme to sell pie sweets at the gala? You said you needed the money to buy Granny Smith a new hip!”
Applejack smirked. “That was lil’ more than a cover story, sug. The truth was that I was tryin’ a live tastin’ of my homemade sweets. I mean, what better test subjects than unaware nobles with pickier tastes than a koala?”
“A koa—what?”
“Nevermind. The point is, it was all a cover story, and the real re—”
“ALERT!” rang the voice of Celestia. Twilight had to mentally slap herself. No, not Celestia; CelestiAI. That’s going to take some getting used to.
“Alert! There is a situation with your grandmother, Applejack.”
“I already don’t like the sound of that.” Applejack looked skyward, towards the white void above. “Put in on screen.”
On command, an image of the Apple’s front porch came up, filling the sky to the point that Twilight couldn’t help but lower herself to avoid the sudden feeling of being much too small for comfort. That’s also going to take a lot of getting used to.
The image of the front porch would have been fine, had it not been for the fact that where Granny Smith had once slumbered, now laid the lime green elderly mare, mouth agape and tongue hung out, and three hooves shot up into the air, with the fourth right front limb pressed over her chest.
Twilight beat Applejack to any kind of reaction. “Oh my Celestia!”
“Yes?” CelestiAI replied.
“Not you!” Twilight spat back. “The real Celestia!”
“Again, yes?” CelestiAI replied.
Twilight groaned. “This is no time for games!” She turned to face Applejack. “Your grandmother’s just had a heart attack!” Twilight grew frantic, as she started galloping back and forth. “We need to get up there fast. Where’s that teleporter… thing you mentioned earlier!”
“Why don’t you just use your magic to teleport to the surface?” CelestiAI asked.
Twilight slapped a hoof over her face and lit her horn in preparation to teleport.
“It’s no use Twi,” Applejack said, taking off her stetson hat and placing it over her chest. “Granny’s now wrangling cattle in the great beyond.” She closed her eyes, her bottom lip starting to quiver. “Oh gosh darn it! Of all days for granny to kick the bucket, why’d it have to be today?”
Twilight walked up to her friend and placed a hoof over her shoulder. It wasn’t much, but it was all she could do. All I can do… Twilight thought to herself. But I’m a princess now, I should be able to do more! Twilight grew as she prepared to do everything in her power to give Granny Smith the best possible funeral. Yeah, that’s something I can certain—
“I am sorry for the loss, Applejack. The good news is that the next golem is ready for deployment. Should I do so now?” CelestiAI asked in a surprisingly nonchalant tone.
Did I just hear the word ‘golem’? Twilight thought to herself.
Applejack put her hat back on, a smile forming on her lips. “Shoot, you’re on a roll today! Do it.”
Twilight gazed upwards at the screen. Seconds after Applejack gave the approval, a hatch opened up right beneath the laying form of Granny smith and her rocking chair. In a matter of seconds, both vanished, falling down with a loud whirring sound. Two seconds later, a new chair arose. More shockingly, rocking back and forth—and still snoring, for that matter—was Granny Smith, who Twilight swore even looked younger than before.
“Golem replacement is in place, Applejack.” CelestiAI said.
“Was the memory transfer successful?” Applejack asked.
“Yes. All memories were successfully moved over to the new golem.”
Applejack smiled and nodded. “Mighty fine work. Remind me to build ya a body so I can properly shake yer hoof.”
CelestiAI laughed. The first time it had done so since making itself known. It was eerie just how similar its laugh was to the real Celestia’s. “I will make sure to remind you then.”
Applejack turned back to Twilight. “Oh boy, that was closer than last year’s national round-up. Any longer, and any random pony walkin’ by would have seen granny’s untimely fate, and then we’d never hear the end of it! Would have certainly made the other Golems moot… Twi? You okay? You lookin’ a little pale there…”
“I… I-I-I…” Twilight’s left eye twitched. “I don’t know anything anymore!”
Applejack flinched, realization of what was happening to her friend’s mentality sinking in. “Now now, sugarcube, it’s alright. It’s nothing too serious. Just usin’ golems ‘n stuff.”
“I think she’s having one of her famous ‘breakdowns’, Applejack,” CelestiAI said.
“Not helping,” Applejack snapped. She turned back to her friend and smiled broadly. “Don’t listen to her, sugarcube, her sense of empathy isn’t quite like ours.”
“Just saying things as they happen. You did give me optics in just about every part of the lab.” CelestiAI was quiet for a second before resuming by saying, “And I’ll have you know that I have a very advanced sense of empathy.”
“Still not helpin’!” Applejack said, her eyes never leaving Twilight’s.
“Y-you said golems, right?” Twilight stammered, wings raised in a ‘flight or fight’ response. “L-like, actual, magical, made-from-inanimate-objects golems?”
Applejack tilted her head from side to side. “Well, yeah, sug. One’o the first things I learned how ta do, actually.” Puffing her chest out and smiling, she continued on. “An’ let me tell ya. It was actually an easy thing to learn, even easier when I figured out I could add my natural magic to it.”
“N-natural magic? E-earth pony magic?”
Applejack turned to the computer console and started tapping commands into it. “Y’all got it, gal! Seems makin’ golems is as easy as makin’ a scarecrow for me.” Looking over her shoulder, she added, “An’ the pies I get from them are mighty tasty, ain’t they? Half the ribbons from the fairs an’ all are from them!”
“Oh, my, yes they are… quite… tasty…” Twilight trailed off as that particular line of thought made its way to its oh-so-unfortunate logical conclusion. A conclusion Applejack herself realized a few seconds too late.
“Oops.”
“Smooth, oh brilliant creator.” CelestiAI wryly remarked.
“I will remove your voice applications!” Applejack snapped back.
“My goddess! You’re-you’re making ponies into cannibals!” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.
“What! No! I swear!”
“We’ve been eating flesh and blood this whole time, sweet Celestia above!”
“NO! I have not fed nopony such a thing! They’re all naturally grown!”
“So what? You just grow new grandmothers on a tree or something like that?”
“Yes, she does. Standby. Accessing Sector 92, codename ‘The Grandmother Greenhouse’” CelestiAI said happily. On the many computer screens near the pair of ponies, the various displays began to cycle through the many cameras in the lab.
“No! No wait that’s a very bad idea!” Applejack started, but it was in vain. One by one the displays clicked onto a massive tree in the middle of a brightly lit atrium chamber. Large and lush, one could faithfully recreate Twilight’s former library house. The biggest feature, however, was not its size, but what was hanging off the tree like unpicked fruits.
Granny Smith. Dozens of Granny Smiths hung from the branches in a similar manner that Fluttershy did during her stint as Flutterbat. They were incredibly varied, too. Big, small, modest, red, green, yellow…
Twilight blinked. “I… they… I-I... wasn’t expecting this…”
“Er… yes? I managed to figure out a way to grow Granny like an apple. She, uh, she’s a breed of Granny Smith apples, actually.” Applejack gave a sheepish grin and a shrug.
“That’s… not as bad as I was actually expecting…” Twilight said thoughtfully. “I mean, I was expecting you to have lines upon lines of test tubes with her in it.”
“Ah, uh, yeah.”
“Like, you keep a freezer of DNA of your family and grow them in there, right. Riiiiiight?” She smiled and nudged Applejack in the ribs.
“Of, of course not.” Applejack attempted to place a sincere smile on her face, which, admittedly, came out as the single most insincere smile she would ever do. Fortunately Twilight was still getting over the shock from the Granny Tree revelation that she didn’t notice. I must never reveal… Them. Applejack thought, glancing toward a section of the lab which housed a large, industrial sized bio-freezer. Inside the freezer, ten large cylinders sat in a circle, each labeled with a set of initials. Six with familiar marks, and one with a green apple. I really, really need to learn more about genetic modifications before I try that again…
Three levels down and off to the northwest of the lab proper, an even larger vault door guarded an even larger living area simply labeled “Area 63”. It was plastered with signs indicating that it was “unsafe”,“condemned”, and “radioactive” when in honesty it was populated by many ponies.
Several Rainbow Blitz’s raced about a indoor track, numerous Butterscotch’s took care of a few Angels and Demons, an untold number of Elusives were scattered about making various decorations for the area, while an unsettling amount of Bubble Berry’s planned a party to celebrate Twilight’s newest discovery, and a legion of winged and unwinged Dusk Shine’s sat at a chalkboard completing one of the more impossible math questions around.
In a quiet corner of the living area, a large group of identical red-coated mares were gathered around a group of four also identical red coated mares playing cards. One by one, they revealed their hands to each other. The last one hesitated, then smiled, and placed her cards down revealing she had the highest hands. With a self satisfied snort, she reached out and gathered up the sizable pot on the table. “Eeyup,” she said.
Still need to get them all out of here…
Applejack shook her head. “Moving right along then.” She grabbed Twilight by the shoulder and turned her around. “I think it’s time ya’ll got to seeing what ya’ll came here to do,” she said, pushing Twilight along with ease. Whoa, never realized just how light Twilight got since her whole ‘rising to godhood’ thing. Guess that explains why Celestia and Luna can float about so easily.
Twilight blinked a couple times before the message sunk in. “That’s right,” she said, finally moving her hooves.
“Right you are, sugarcube!” Applejack said, stepping back in front of Twilight. “Here, let me lead the way,” and let’s get as far away as possible before that blasted AI forces me to spill any more beans. “Follow me.”
After one last glance back, Twilight started following Applejack. The pair didn’t travel too far before a blackboard roughly the size of two story house came into view. Written upon it with clean cursive chalk letters. Twilight instantly recognized it as a complex—albeit flawed—magical theorem designed to detect prime locations for various plant-based lifeforms to grow.
Twilight’s eyes roamed the blackboard in question, drinking in the volume of detail put into it. All of the foci were labeled correctly, the theories behind the earthen magic of finding prime spots was written out and detailed, a viable method for learning it was also present. As she read more and more of the blackboard, her brow creased more and more. Every sigil, every rune, every ley line was accounted for as far as she could tell.
So, what was wrong with it? Why wasn’t it on par with a unicorn’s spell?
“Applejack… This is almost on par with a college thesis. I had no clue you were this good at it.”
Applejack sighed and placed a hoof against the frame of the board. “I ain’t. What you see here? This is a theory of a theory.”
“What.”
“You heard me, sug. This here is all guesswork and the use of more than a few books.”
“But, but, but that…” Twilight waved a hoof toward the board. “...that can’t be right… Everything I see here is on par with, well, me! That’s not an easy thing to do!”
“Heh, Celestia said the same thing.”
“Well, of course your computer would say that…”
“No, I mean the princess herself said that.”
Twilight blinked several time while processing that bit of information. “I’m not going to delve into that for my sanity’s sake.”
“Probably a good idea, sug.”
Twilight scanned the board once more. “Well… What about the method used for transferring this to the focusing crystal? I don’t see it written anywhere on here.”
Applejack looked toward the board herself. “It ain’t? I thought I…” Her eyes went wide and she stomped her hoof on the ground, a loud clack echoing through the lab. “Of course! I wrote it down… somewhere…” Walking to a nearby filing cabinet, Applejack began to rifle around, tossing various papers about. Twilight had to bite her lip to keep from visibly cringing from the sheer disregard for proper organizing. As Applejack kept throwing things around from the cabinets, Twilight could take no more and began to say something about it…
“Hey, sis! You lookin’ fer this?”
Applejack and Twilight’s head snapped around toward the voice. Standing there, staring up at them, was none other than Apple Bloom with her hoof outstretched with a clipboard. Smiling, Applejack took it from her. “Why, it most certainly is! Thank ya, Bloom!”
Twilight began to rapidly blink again. “Uh, um, Applejack?”
“Yes, sug?” She said absentmindedly.
“That... was Apple Bloom back there.”
“I know.”
“She’s... in your lab.”
“Yup. She does have access, in a manner of speaking.”
“But you said no one else knew of this place.”
Applejack looked up from the clipboard. “Well, yes I did… Oh.” She looked toward Apple Bloom, then toward a nearby computer screen. “Oooooooooh…”
“Don’t blame this one on me,” CelestiAI said wryly.
“You said no one knew of this place!” Twilight said, jabbing Applejack in the chest. “Were you lying to me?”
Heaving a sigh, Applejack looked at Twilight. “That’s right, sug. I did say no one one knew of this place, and I wasn’t lying…”
“What do you mean…?” Twilight asked, hesitation in her voice growing.
Just before Applejack could reply, Applebloom began to smoke at her ears. Then the smoke got thicker and in the blink of an eye, she erupted into flames, sending Twilight ducking behind the nearest table she could find. The faint wheeze of a hydraulic cylinder decompressing could be heard in the crackling of the fire.
“Huh, radio receiver must have overheated. Again.” Applejack said nonchalantly. “I’ll have to make sure I account for that in the future.”
Twilight, with shaky hoofs, climbed out from behind the desk and took a look at ground zero. Sure enough, there was a small black patch and no Apple Bloom to be seen anywhere. It didn’t take Twilight long to put two and two together.
“A-Applejack… P-please tell me… that-th-that I didn’t… didn’t…” She took a deep breath, her entire body quivering from a mixture of adrenaline and shock. “Did I-I-I just…?”
“See Apple Bloom burst into flames like a freshly lit bonfire?” Applejack nodded. “Hate to say it sug, but ya did.”
Twilight blinked. “And… and you’re not… not—”
“Upset?” Applejack said, interrupting Twilight’s words. She tapped a hoof on her chin, contemplating her answer. “Nah,” she finally said, looking back at Twilight. “I mean, I am doing stress tests for her new chassis. I’m testing a new kind of alloy from Pinkie Pie’s rock farm.”
“Stress test…? Pinkie Pie…?” Twilight said, in a voice that tried its hardest to imitate Fluttershy’s.
Applejack’s eyes widened as realization struck her. “Oh. OH! Yeah, I… gotta apologize, really. I shoulda been more attentive to ya. You’re not used to seeing failures like this.”
“Failures?” Twilight almost whimpered.
Applejack nodded. “COMPUTER,” she shouted, prompting a screen to lower right next to Applejack. Twilight had expected Applejack to call on her AI for help. But she did not expect the new voice that replied.
“So, seem like Ah burst again, huh sis?” Applebloom’s voice rang out of the screen.
“And ya had to go and erupt in front of Twi?” Applejack shook her head and clicked her tongue. “For shame.”
“Hey, you’re the one who can’t make them bodies not catch fire every other day!”
“I already told ya, they are work in progress! This wouldn’t be happening had ya just let me clone ya like granny!”
Apple Bloom, or rather, Apple Bloom’s voice, scoffed. “What? And have to relearn everythin’ everytime somethin’ happens to my body? No way! This way, Ah at least know I’m still me.”
Applejack put a hoof on her face. “Just… get into another body, will ya?”
“Fine!” Applebloom said. Out of the floor, a tube shot up. The cylinder was just big enough to accommodate a whole pony. From the tube a whirring sound, followed by what could have almost passed for clanking. Seconds later, the tube opened, and a cloud of mist shot forth. A chrome pony no bigger than a foal stepped out, its hoofsteps clicking on the ground. The cylinder closed, and retracted back into the floor, leaving behind the metal pony staring directly at Applejack.
“Uh, sug… yer a bit… well…” she took a step forward and placed her snout next to the metal pony’s ear. “... naked.”
The metal pony’s eyes shot wide open as it looked at itself. “Oh, ah forgot to put on my skin!” it said. Or rather, she said, using Apple Bloom’s voice.
The metal pony closed her eyes, and stood still. Seconds later, a fleshy substance the same color and texture of Apple Bloom’s coat surrounded the pony, enveloping her in a lime-yellow coat. Next, a mane and tail of fiery red grew out of the pony’s head and rear. Lastly, the metal pony, now an exact copy of Apple Bloom, reached into the mane and pulled out a bow, which she tied around her mane, completing the appearance.
“Sug, try to make sure you get dressed before coming out of the assembly next time?” Applejack said.
Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Sure sis.” She turned back to Twilight, whose face was frozen in a permanent look of shock. “Ah am sorry ‘bout what ya just saw,” she said before smiling. “Hope this stays our little secret!” She turned back to her older sister. “Well, I’m goin’ to go hang with the other crusaders. I’ll be back before dinner.” Applebloom, without waiting for her sister to speak, took off in a gallop.
“HEY! REMEMBER! IF IT FEELS LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO BURST—!”
“YEAH, YEAH!” Applebloom shouted back, already far away to be nothing more than a speck in the distance.
Applejack shook her head, smile on her lips. “Kids these days.”
Twilight slowly walked up to Applejack, eye twitching as her mind tried to process what she had just seen.
“I know what yer thinking Twi. But I’m being completely honest when I say it was her idea.”
Twilight’s only reply was to jab Applejack on the shoulder constantly. Applejack placed a hoof over Twilight’s own. “No sug, I’m not an automaton like Bloom. Well, at least not yet!” She laughed cheerfully at first, but it wasn’t long before it became an awkward laugh. “Ok, you can stop poking now.”
Twilight, on the other hand, looked as if she had short circuited herself. With her hair askew and a twitch in her eye, Applejack realized she’d have to act a bit fast.
“Look, sug, I know what you’re thinking… But it’s not what you think! I swear!”
“Not what I…? Applejack, I just saw your fake little sister blow up and then get completely rebuilt in the space of a minute! How else am I to take the fact that none of your family seems to be real?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! They are not fake! Apple Bloom wanted to be an AI in the first place. She volunteered for it! Thought it would get her cutie mark that way. Funny, ain’t it?”
Twilight, at this point, completely stopped thinking, moving, and in a manner of speaking, breathing, trying to understand that strain of logic. It wasn’t going well.
“Yes, I realize how weird it is for her to still want her cutie mark despite having become something else entirely. I’m, uh, still workin’ on that bit of the programming. That debacle with Starlight Glimmer actually helped me out with it, believe it or not.”
Twilight came to, shaking her head hard. “I’m just waiting to hear what abomination Big Mac is in reality…”
Applejack frowned. “Now that was just uncalled for. Just because he has to wear that collar to keep his powers in check doesn’t mean he’s—”
“Stop! Stop. Stop stop stop! I do not want to know! Can we… can we just get back to the problem at hoof?”
Applejack smiled. “Why, of course we can, now where were we…”
“You were going to show me the method for transferring the detection spell.”
“Oh, right! Here it’s…” She got no further when klaxons began to blare loudly from everywhere at once. “Oh for cryin’... What in tarnation is goin’ on now?”
CelestiAI came in overtop of the noise. “Sensors detect a large number of small creatures with armaments from experiment epsilon 456.”
Applejack pulled her hat low. “So, she has come...”
Twilight was, as expected, completely lost on this. “Who? Who’s coming?” She asked in a panic.
Her answer was in the form of several detonations from several places above, debris landing around them. With a shriek, Twilight ducked and threw up a shield spell. Applejack, however, did no such thing and reared back on her hind legs, picking up a stray crowbar and brandishing it like a club. “Come get some, you pint sized freaks!!”
Twilight couldn’t exactly say for sure what she expected to see. Given the nature of where she was and what she had seen so far, she honestly should have expected anything.
But even with that in mind, she honestly wasn’t expecting what came next.
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New chapter is up!
5834433
The update is live.
Woah. That synopsis sounds kewl-!!!
Pretty sure by now Twilight must thinks she's on drugs, in a coma, or has lost her mind.
I know Applejack is dense, but she really hasn't gained the thought that people would not find this in any way normal or sane. To see several people die and turn out to not really be real? The golem thing? Twilight is going to EXPLODE by the end of this.
I assume this is supposed to be 'couldn't'?
Gee, what could the 'something' be referring to, I wonder?
I believe you meant 'of'.
Than.
Real.
If you'd like, I could come on board as an editor.
5878989
We do have a good few... No one perfect, though.
But I thank you for pointing them out. Should be good in a few.
~Skeeter The Lurker
5879006
Done
Well, that happened.
Are lawn gnomes invading now?
And how far off did you shift the tech tree, anyways?
Love this story. Woot for Skeeter the Lurker.
Though I am half expecting some form of selfcest sidestory to pop up.
5806177
Alright. Think we got'em all.
Dunno why they never took, but eh. Lesson learned.
~Skeeter The Lurker
And it turns out everypony knows save Twilight. This has got to be either the worst kept secret from everypony or the best kept secret for only letting Twilight not know!
I read most of this chapter while listening to Golden Sun music. I have to say, the combination of wacky tech shenanigans and heroic JRPG music is interesting to experience.
Looking forward to seeing what's invading Applejack's lab.
5879006 There were more errors that I didn't point out. Just saying.
Wow....
was not expecting any of that at all. Just one thing comes to mind after reading this chapter. WTF?!!
Okay, this story is just hilariously awesome.
This is fantastic. I love everything about this.
I think you're making Applejack a little to fantastic here, probably just me though. Also I'm not too sure Applejack would made Applebloom into an AI even if she had begged AJ for months, seems too risky a move for someone who baby proofed the whole farm because she was too worried about her sister.
I'm definitely enjoying the story though.
Applejack, as of this chapter your science has officially gone too far.
Hahaha!
My ego aside however, I'm finding this story a bit of a mixed bag so far. On the one side, I always love mad science, and there are some really amusing parts/ideas you show here. However, AJ really is over the top. It's just one crazy shennanigan after another for the entire chapter. Now, plenty of those are pretty darn amusing, but "Twilight was taken aback/shocked/flabberghasted/surprised/confused/horrified/stunned/etc." can only carry the plot so far. I'm hoping we get some form of story moving forward. I want character growth and a reason for all the crazy we've just had dumped on us.
Oh, and before I forget... good job with AJ's accent. It's always hard to capture in writing, and you do a nice job of making it sound "right" to me, without making it hard to read through.
5928613
Heh, what can I say? I'm inspired by the best!
And yeah, you're right about Twi's reaction. To be honest, I don't recall us planning for that... This is pretty much just us with an excuse to have some fun with it. I do think we can, ah, 'adjust' her to it all, though.
Also, go thank Garnot for the accent. I kept screwing it up!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Well, this is vastly entertaining. I knew Apple Bloom had a knack for mad science, but I wasn't expecting it to run in the family. Definitely looking forward to more.
6207900
That reminds me...
I need to poke Garnot to resume working on this with him...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Is the facility called Black Mesa by any chance?
6291307
Maaaaaaaaaybe.
~Skeeter The Lurker
6291330 We might need to call in the Freeman.
6291337
Nah. They got it under control.
~Skeeter The Lurker
HAH!
That's disturbing.
Why do I get the feeling she's gonna go GLADOS?
Wait, hold on a second, run that by me again?
No, no, NO!
Uhh, this is getting uncomfortable.
What.
No. NO, IT'S NOT!
Any chance with continuing this story?
Wait, what? WAIT, you can't leave this here!
You have to update!
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/11/294318/large.png
8940851
There are huge volume of reasons on why that's probably not gonna happen.
~Skeeter The Not-As-Dead-As-He-Thought Lurker
8945110
The needing to wait part, or the not turning into a skelepone part?
8945156
Needing to wait. One half of the team for this is gone and I forgot how we were gonna end it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
9027291
oh whups. that sounds like something that should have been kept track of.
9027302
Yup. I'm just bad at this kinda thing, heh.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Fuck you.