• Published 24th Jan 2015
  • 11,560 Views, 535 Comments

The Sun of My Heart - BlueSun52



Meet Soul Writer, A sweet guy who likes to help others and has big plans for the future. Now he's coming to Canterlot High and is high over head for Sunset. Can he be able to win her heart?

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Special 3

Twists of Fates
-
Alternate Universe
Sonata’s Tale

It was a Saturday morning with the sun beginning to rise over the horizon. Its light slowly showed the small town of Canterlot until it eventually shine its lights through a certain young teen’s windows. As soon as the light hit the boy’s eyes, they fluttered before opening them completely to show his bright blue eyes.

The young teen was no other than Soul Writer himself as he sat up and stretched his arms out. He only had on a white shirt and a dark blue pajama pants on as he rubbed the back of his head. He looked at the foot of his bed to see his dog still sleeping soundly.

Just as Soul was about to get up, he felt an arm wrap around his waist. Startled at first, he looked down to see who it was but smiled as he remembered that he was sharing his bed with the most wonderful girl he fell in love with.

Sonata Dusk.

She laid next to him with her eyes closed with strands of her around her face while she snored lightly. Soul laughed quietly at how silly and adorable she looked.

Soul could remember how he and Sonata started to go out. It was back when the Fall Formal was happening and everyone was getting a date all but him. He had hoped that Sunset would ask him out by the last minute but she never did. She did talked with him about their friendship and thought it was best for the two to just stay that way. While Soul did understand that she didn’t want any kind of relationship, it did left him sadden that the girl that he liked didn’t see him the same way. However, just as he was about to go home on that day, Sonata came walking to him and asked that if he could go with her at the dance. At first, he was shocked that Sonata would go with him at the dance. But when he thought about it, she was very attractive to him and was very nice to be with. He agreed to go with her to dance, which caused her to squeal with excitement.

After that, he got ready for the dance, met with her at the school and they enjoyed themselves at the large party. Her sisters were there too as Adagio was mostly being surrounded by boys that wanted to dance with her (and more they hoped) while Aria was just being her usual self and just watched from a far. It was nearing midnight at the time and just as Soul was about to leave with Sonata, she leaned into him and kissed him on the lips. It very much shocked Soul to the point to where his mind was racing to comprehend what was going on. But Soul couldn’t help but enjoy her kiss as it was sweet with a slight taste of tacos. It was after that night that Sonata asked if they could be more than friends and Soul replied that nothing would make him happier than to be her man.

Soul got back to the real world after remembering those events and looked back at his sweet little, taco loving angel. He carefully moved the strands of hair away from her face and tenderly kissed around her lips. While doing so, Sonata woke up with her eyes barely opened. She didn't know what was going on at first but as soon as she did, she smiled and kissed Soul back as she reached up with her arms and wrapped around him. The two made out with each other until they stopped for a moment and gazed into each others eyes.

“Good morning, angel,” Soul greeted. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did,” Sonata simply replied. Soul lowered himself down on the bed and she laid her head on his shoulder. “I had fun last night.”

“I’m glad you did,” Soul said. “Do you wanna get out of bed? My are gone for the weekend so I can make you those tacos you love.”

“Hmmm, that sounds so good,” Sonata said. “But I don’t wanna right now. You’re too snuggly for me to let go.”

Soul chuckled. “And you’re too beautiful to get up from,” he said. “Is there anything you wanna do for a bit?”

“Well, we could always have a little fun~” Sonata suggested with a sultry tone.

“As tempting as it is Sonata, I don’t think we should go… that far,” Soul said a bit nervously. “I really do love you but I still think we should take sometime before we even consider that.”

Sonata made a pout. “And I thought guys were supposed to like that kind of stuff,” she commented.

“Trust me, we do,” Soul said. “But I’m one of the nice ones.”

“When you put it that way, I’ll choose a sweet boyfriend anytime of the day,” Sonata said as she pulled herself closer to Soul and hugged him. “So, would making out for the next hour work for you?”

Soul made a sly smile. “Now that, I would do for my lady,” he said just before he pulled Sonata on top of him and the two started to make out.

Soul tenderly kissed Sonata as she let out a few moaning sounds of pleasure. He rubbed her back making her feel comfortable in his arms as he stroked through her long hair. Sonata placed both of her hands around the top of Soul’s white hair as she fiddled with them. Just as the two were kissing, Toby let out a yawn as he was waking up and jumped off the bed to stretched. But when he did, he pulled down some of the sheets with him. Soul and Sonata stopped kissing for a moment as Soul was about to reach around to grab the covers until he saw something that made him and Sonata blushed. Soul looked back at Sonata with half lid eyes and a raised brow while Sonata had a sheepish smile on her.

“Sonata…. Where are your panties?” Soul asked.

“I eh…. I took them off last night because it was getting too hot in here,” Sonata answered meekly.

“What? Why didn’t you take off your shirt instead of your panties!?” Soul asked.

“I don’t know! I was barely awake when it happened and I was thinking about you at the time!”

Even though he loved her with all of his heart and soul, Soul couldn’t help but smack himself in the forehead at Sonata’s silliness, of which, was the nicest thing he could say.


It was late morning now and Soul was walking along with Sonata as she held his hand while she was skipping. She hummed a simply tune to herself while skipping until something caught her attention when she looked over across the street. She pulled Soul’s arm hard and Soul bumped into her with moving an inch from her spot before he fell down to the ground. Soul groaned for a moment as he got up to see why she pulled him so hard.

Soul looked at her for a moment before he saw stars in Sonata’s eyes. He looked to see what she was staring at with awe and was answered when he saw that it was a music store. Even though Sonata had lost her singing voice after the Battle of Bands, she never lost her taste in music and still loved listening to them. Her favourite style of music was pop and she would listen to whatever was made. Of course she liked a bit of country music too after dating Soul for sometime but she kept that a secret between her and him.

Soul smiled. “I’m guessing you wanna head into the store?” he asked.

Sonata only answered with a few nods before she ran across the street with a panicked Soul as there were cars driving around. Sonata pulled onto Soul so tightly that he couldn’t get out of her grip while he was screaming as the cars were going by them. But with incredible luck, they made across the street with Sonata standing in front of the store with awe eyes while Soul was shaking with fear.

‘This girl is going to be the death of me I just know it,’ Soul thought to himself as he breathed heavily through his mouth.

Sonata went into the store with Soul and she let go of him as she ran around the store looking through all the songs they had. Soul was still shaking and went by the counter to take a moment to catch his breath and recover from his terrifying experience. As he regained his breathing and got over his experience on the street, he felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see one of his friends, Vinyl.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Vinyl asked. “Your girl bringing you here again?”

“Pretty much,” Soul answered. “So, hows working here doing for you? When I heard you were let go by your job over by the mall, I thought you were going to be upset about it?”

Vinyl waved her hand. “Naw dude, it was fine. I was expecting it anyway,” she said. “That places always hires new workers there about every six months or so. Plus, I like here anyway. I get a discount on all the music and I get to listen some of the newer music before anyone else does.”

“That sounds like a sweet deal,” Soul commented. “Any music that you would recommend for Sonata?”

“Hmmm, I think I got something,” Vinyl replied. She ducked down behind the counter for a moment. She was going through some stacks of cover cases and other items before she found what she was looking for. She got back up and placed it on the counter. “This just came in a couple of days ago,” she said. “It has all of the latest pop musics that Sonata loves to hear.”

“Perfect! I’ll get it for her,” Soul said.

Soul paid for it and hid in his jacket before Sonata came back with a disappointed look.

“Aw man, they don’t have what I was looking for,” Sonata said. “V, do they have that music album of the latest pop musics?”

Vinyl shrugged. “Sorry, Nata. We sold out of them when they first came around,” she said. “We won’t get anymore for a while.”

Sonata let out a disappointed sigh. Soul wrapped his arm around her as he kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll get it soon enough,” he said. “Do you wanna go somewhere to eat? It is getting close to eleven.”

“Oh! Let’s get some tacos!” Sonata suggested.

“But we already had tacos for breakfast,” Soul said. “And we had them just last night.”

“But I want tacos!” Sonata wined. “I wanna! I wanna! I wanna!”

Soul let out a sigh. “Fine, I’ll get you some tacos,” he said. “But we’re having something else to eat later, okay?”

“Woo hoo! Okay, I’ll do that,” Sonata agreed.

Vinyl waved goodbye at the two as they left the store and went back to walking along the sidewalks. After having lunch, the two went to a movie theater to see a romance movie that Sonata always wanted to see. During half way though the movie, Sonata and Soul were making out deeply with one another that they really didn’t care if anyone was noticing them doing that. Which was lucky for them because the theater room didn’t have anyone in there.

Time past by and after the movie, the young couple headed towards Sonata’s place and the two were watching tv series on Netflix with Sonata’s gaming console. They were watching and old cartoon series that was canceled after five seasons and really popular. But the show was brought back with four movies and four more seasons after it. The two laughed at all the jokes that were being made and the shenanigans going on.

The two huddled together on the couch with Sonata having her arms around Soul and sitting on his lap while he had his arms around her to keep her from falling. After a few episodes had past, Sonata looked at Soul with bedroom eyes before she leaned in and started kissing him the lips. Soul passionately kissed her back before he slowly repositioned themselves to where he was now on top of her and laid spread across the couch. After a few moments, Soul broke off the kiss and gazed into Sonata’s eyes before he spoke up.

“I got you something,” he said in a loving tone.

“What?”

“Hold on, let me get it.”

Soul got up and walked over to the hanger stand before he reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled out the album. He walked up over to Sonata and showed the album. Sonata’s eyes were twinkling with stars again and her mouth was opened wide.

“OMG! You got me the album!?” Somata asked excitedly. “But Vinyl told me that they were all out!”

“I guess she made that up so you wouldn’t get one since I already got it for you,” Soul answered. “I’m sorry that I made you feel bummed about it.”

“Are you kidding? This just makes it a hundred times more awesome to get since it’s from the best boyfriend in the world!” Sonata chimed. “I just don’t know how you could make this day any more great!”

“Actually, I think I can,” Soul said. “You said you always wanted to um… *Ahem* wanted to take our relationship to the next level, right?”

Sonata nodded. “Yes, but I thought that-”

“Yes and I thought about it a lot. I realized that I love you so much that I cannot bare to wait anymore,” Soul said. “I want to give myself to you. If that is still what you want.”

Sonata felt her heart beat heavily and she was breath was slowly increasing as she thought about being with Soul at such an intimate level. She took a deep breath and looked at Soul with a smile.

“I really want to, Soul,” Sonata said. “I really want to feel you and to be felt by you. I have never been touched by someone in anyway for over a thousand years because I always wanted to wait for the right person. Now, I am for sure that person is you…. for realzies.”

Soul didn’t say anything but instead closed the gap between him and Sonata and kissed passionately. After that, Soul lifted Sonata off the couch and carried her to her room. He gently lowered her down on the bed and before Sonata’s eyes, he was unclothing himself in front of her. She watched as her breathing was getting harder and harder and her face was turning more red by the minute. After he was about to take his pants off, Sonata quickly started to unbutton her shirt and skirt and was able to get them off in a heartbeat.

After they had completely removed their clothes and were under the covers, Soul laid on top of Sonata gazing into his eyes with love and nervousness. Sweat was pouring down from Sonata’s forehead as she was beginning to be nervous. She bit her lip as Soul was doing something under the covers before she spoke up.

“Soul…. please be gentle,” she said before being given a kiss from Soul.

“I promise,” he said.

Sonata took a deep breath and braced herself as she was about to….

*BEEP!*

*BEEP!*

*BEEP!*

“GHAAAA!”

*THUMP!*

“OW!”

An alarm was going off as Sonata had fell over her bed from the alarming sound. The alarm kept on going until Sonata slammed the top of the alarm and it went into sleep mode. Sonata rubbed her head as she got up and laid her head down on the bed.

It took a moment for her to remember what was happening to her and she looked around to see Soul anywhere. It then came to her that there was only one answer to what was happening.

It was a dream.

Sonata had realized that it was all a dream while she was sleeping and remembered that Soul, in fact, went out with Sunset to the dance after losing to her at their contest. When the realization had hit her, Sonata clutched the sheets and gritted her teeth as anger boiled in her heart.

“SON OF A F******* B*****************************************************************!”

Author's Note:

And here it is people, a SoulxNata chapter!

I know it's been a while since I'm done with this story and making the sequel. But I wanted to make this chapter before I completely leave it alone and move on.

Think of this as a thanks for all the support that you guys give me:raritywink: and to also celebrate the one hundredth episode of MLP!

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Comments ( 28 )

Lolz! Great chapter! Sonata is such a good character in my opinion. I wouldn't actually have minded if Soul had chosen her at all! But still, SUNSET IS BESTEST FOR HIM!! Lol. Keep it up!

Sonata... my words exactly:pinkiehappy:

I may noynot be a big SoulxNata fan but this was very good BlueSun.

D'aww, I guess you wanted an alternate universe where Sonata got her happy ending, huh?

( reads to the end)

...Oh, you sneak. :ajsmug:

You my good sir, are a Brilliant Evil Mastermind, right Sonata.
Sonata} Leave me alone.
Okay Sonata, just head over to Taco Bell with the others.
Anyway, Great chapter. I loved the Twist ending and LMAO at some of the parts. Aside from a few typos, it was well written and a blast to read. I hope the Third installment is as good as this one was, because I want to know if Soul goes to Equestria with Sunset or not. And one more thing before I go... I WROTE A STAR WARS STORY ON MY FaNFiCTioN.NeT ACCOUNT!!! and one of my heroes, WWE Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes, passed away yesterday at 69, #RIPTHEDREAM

Okay, I only have this to say in retort.

5947736

“Hang on, Sonata, I’m coming!” Rainbow Dash said as she climbed into the dark hole.

“Should we stop her?” the worker asked his fellow worker.

“We’re on lunch break.”

“Good point.”

Clap Clap Clap

6224029 Huh, he would look like Yu Narukami only with blue eyes.

Oh my, I finally finished this story. This will be a looong post...
Okay, so first of all sorry for my bad english, second, please take this post as a way to become a better writer, because I'm going to criticize this story a lot, despite this fic being nice.
CONS:
I read it and I had a feeling as if I was reading a diary of some primary school girl. Everyone kisses (a lot), everyone is happy, then some problem arises, somebody is not happy, everyone hugs and it's all better. Maybe it's because of the language you use, maybe it's just a feeling, but I just see plain writing with LOTS of sweetness, cuteness, kissing that sometimes feels really forced.
Many characters, your OC's were plain, without any personality. Though they were main characters the difference for me was their crush/girlfriend, some hobbies and that's all. They were totally unneeded and it seems that you just added them because A) every girl must have a boy (except AJ) and B) Soul must have some male friends. I don't even know (or remember, but I read this story in 2 days) how they look like. You just could have made them much better, richer (in personality) and give them some "roles" other than boyfriend/support. Greg was actually livier then boys.
There are few language mistakes in most chapters, that just poke reader in the eye, just please let somebody check your work.
Favourite words? "Sheepish, kiss, make out, unison". English is a language that's remarkably word rich. Try using synonym dictionary so it won't repeat so much.
Also, always get your facts straight. I noticed that in one chapter Soul while being in check, checkmated Swift and won. You cannot checkmate while being in check. Yes, I'm a total bi*ch for pointing such stupid thing but it when you're not sure about some facts, don't add them, or just do a research. The chess thing wasn't the only one like that.
Had no idea what chapter special 1 was. Skipped it.
If I can remember something more I will write it down in comment section. That would be all... for cons!
PROS:
Easy and light to read.
Some of the gags were really funny.
Yeah, only two pros, but the first one is beyond doubt great advantage of this fic.
TIPS:
Use more descriptions instead of simple actions, dialogue is more interesting then.
You may also find more here: http://eznguide.neocities.org/

6283444 Thank you for your review about my story:rainbowkiss:

I'm glad to hear that you liked the story despite the many cons that it has. I will be sure to look back and found those miss spellings in the chapter, though it would be hard to find them. As for the OCs, I am sorry that they turned out to be plain characters. I had hoped to have captured their character personalities like how the others authors made them and will keep an close eye on that in the future. I was afraid that many of the relationships were either forced or too early to make. It was mostly because it was either a new author's OC came along and I wanted to have their character in with their romance or I just didn't know how the two would end up and I really wanted it to work. I have very little experience about romance since I've barely been in a relationship. But I do promise that the main and supportive characters would have more active roles in the future, hopefully. And I'll try to look up more synonym, I really need to expand on my vocabulary.

Thanks again for the review and the insightfulness :twilightsmile:

FYI: The first chapter of the sequel is out. You can check it out if you want and if not, that's okay.

6285907
Already did. Nice so far.
Oh yeah, I must see also these other stories where the boys are from.
Thank you for not taking it personally.

6285971 No problem:raritywink:

I'm sure you'll have a much more enjoyable time reading the others stories.

6466577 No, not those kind of hand gestures. And to be truthful, I have no clue either.

Nice new cover art.

Alright, so I'm going to give my comments on this story. Now, I'm gonna be honest and don't take this too seriously.

Now, on a professional level, this story could use a lot of work. It's just it has a lot of romantic comedy and sitcom cliches which have been seen and done plenty of times. We also have slapstick humor, some surrealism (Greg the Tarantula should've died after being stepped on, but this is a cartoon). Also, having all the main characters dating is just a bit rushed. I mean, yeah, I know this was the plan, but you were a lot more focused on Sunset and Soul to develop the other couples' inner turmoils and conflicts.

But that's if you take the story too seriously.

I love a good sitcom and cartoony humor, so your fic was also good in that regard. A lot of the running gags, like Swift's clumsiness, made me laugh and I loved how Soul interacted with his friends. Though we could explore a bit more of his personality. It seems that his personality was molded to be the 'straight man' in the entire situation. I'm also sympathetic of Sonata. Would she finally get the man of her dreams or try to steal Soul away from Sunset? I guess I need to read the next installment to find out.

Best of luck to writing, and hope you improve.

PS: Grammar and spelling errors were presents on the story, but they didn't detract much. But he careful of grammar Nazis.

6979274 kill it with fire:flutterrage::pinkiesick::rainbowdetermined2:

7206389 Soul doesn't hate Flash he just questions his existence.

7206909 I know who Silver Quill is, but I never heard of "the Silver Quill treatment"

7612613 I'm already subscribed to him, I just don't know they're talking about

Why isn't there a sex tag?

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

(BlueSun, if you see this play this first then read the following)

I am well versed in all facets of the multi-verse. I have studied at the library of Alexandria, battled alongside Genghis Khan, danced with Cleopatra, held symposiums with Plato, and meditated atop the Great Pyramid of Giza.

Due to my condition, I have laid dormant inside this vessel called Muffin of Ragga but now thanks to the 52nd Sun of the Blue, I have been Woken!

As you can see, I have returned to indulged myself to one of my favorite fictional stories known as Sun of My Heart. But for reason you may ask? Well first is to read it once more to my hearts content, and then point out the good and the bad... YES. I SHALL POINT OUT THE SINS IT HAS BROUGHT TO THE FICTION OF THE FIM. Prepare yourself as I walk through the journey alongside the Writer of the Soul and the Shimmering Sunset.

(TL;DR, I came to read it again because I'm seeking motivation to write again, and also pull a CinemaSin)

10185876
Sweet! It'll be nice to hear someone reading my greatest work! Hope you enjoy reading it all over again!

Also I wish you luck on getting your motivation back! I'm sure SoMH will do that!

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