The three Sirens, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk, once the most terrifying creatures of all of Equestria now reduced to mere human beings. However they still have their abilities of song, and can still manipulate the minds of others to adore them. One night while collecting energy, they come across something mysterious, something they never expected to find, something that will change their lives, especially the life of their leader forever.
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Chapters (8)
Awwww mommy Dagio!
The way you ended this chapter was very very heartwarming. As a father several times over, I can attest that there is no feeling in the world like your child (infant especially) falling asleep on your shoulder or in your arms.
As some friendly critique, the structure and grammar in a few places was a bit rough, but nothing that really detracted from your message here. I'm still new to writing so can't comment well on specifics, but one thing that helped me greatly was the writing guide in the FAQ here on the site. Didn't realize it was there for a while, but when I found it, it was like a goldmine of info.
Looking forward to more here.
5472796 Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
tracking it. do try to correct the typos.
I think you mean "final".
5473598 Thanks you.
OMG!!!! Love this story! It's kind of ironic that you posted this when I just got done reading chapter 1 but, keep up the good work!
Though, I must suggest a grammar check?
Anyways love it!
aww lookit at that, that's so sweet. kinda sad they'll all end up outliving the kid but still, sweet while it lasts at least.
This is turning out well. Grammer is a bit choppy but still good. The story kind of reminds me of the movie three men and a baby for some reason. I would love to see the different interactions the sirens have with the baby separately. Anyway, good job, looking foward to the next update.
alright. i like this.
you just made the fav list.
Adagio is best mother. Aria and Sonata are best idiot aunts
Aria is jealous, I think~
5484820
Doesn´t mean she is not right. Imagine that baby raised by a bunch of sociopathic magical vampires... what will he turn into, assuming he survives enough?
5485082 probably this
Secret origins: Doctor doom
This is an interesting premise, but the a fair bit you may want to edit. The red punctuation marks are ones I suggest adding because I'm tired.
I'd suggest changing that to "Lovers' Peak".
Same as the previous one.
That should be "we're".
That should be "longer".
This may just be me, but I think it would look better if you wrote "Okay".
That should be "What's".
That should be "up".
I found this part a bit confusing. The best I could figure is suggesting you change it to, "The baby kept crying for a few more seconds until it opened its eyes to look up at a very confused Adagio. Suddenly, it smiled and looked right back at her, and reached his tiny hand out to her try to touch her nose."
That should be "an".
That should be "Adagio's".
I'm not sure what that's supposed to be, especially since the next thing under it is, "Come on!"
And that should be "we're". I'll read the other chapters in the morning.
This is a better chapter than the previous one, but there are still a fair amount of things you may want to edit.
That should be "faces".
That should be "are".
That should be "an".
That should be "heads".
I think that should be "is", but I can't be sure.
That should be "We'll"
That should be "looked".
That should be "He ain't".
That should either just be "worse" or "the worst".
That quotation mark should be deleted.
That should be "sirens".
First, that should either be "I am a siren" or "I'm a siren". Second, I would suggest adding the word, "with" in between those two words.
That should be "ya".
That should be capitalized.
I hope these suggestions help.
I'm starting to think Cresendo is going to grow up to become the music meister
End well in glorious explosions!
I suggest you get a proofreader. The grammar is kind of wonky at times. Otherwise, all good
Cute! I hope that when he's older they will get him a siren necklace. That would be cool!
Anyways I still enjoyed the chapter! At least Sonata caught him....
Love this story! Keep it up!
Actualy the song was good, but you do have a lot of wrong/mistyped words. Try combing through this chapter again and it will be perfect.
I remember babysitting my nephews and nieces when they were little. Little devils nearly gave me several heart attacks when I saw them climbing onto tables, couches and etc and almost falling off whenever I took my eyes off them for a few seconds. They are smarter then they look, don't let their baby gibberish and cute smiles fool you.
Kids, they just somehow get to you.
This made me chuckle.
Why?
You're only thinking of raising a
bratbabybra..."It is a baby after all!
*gasp* STAR SWIRL! Is that YOU??
5595727 I'll never tell.
Oh, Dagi... DO you truly love him and care for him?
5595737 is it discord? Its always discord
5596325 Read the chapter and you'll see the clues.
5598918 My money is on Starswirl since I have no clue if the Dazzlings knew or met Discord before their banishment so.... yeah
more!! please?
A lovely story.
5647107 thank you
5647116
Very much Welcome.
5647118 hope I can continue to entertain once I get over a stamp of writers block :)
5647126
I'm sure you will X3.
5647134 thanks hope so
Okay no I'm sure of it.
I look forward to reading the next chapter.
I really like the way you write the dynamic between the sirens. If really does seem like they've been together for thousands of years.
5858626 That's my headcannon.
this is great, I really like it it is so cute :D
Finally sat down and read this. You need an editor, no question, but this is a sweet story in so many ways, and it's nice that you're presenting a different side to Adagio than the one we normally see. She knows the power of music...now she's learning the Power of Love.
6191579 Well if you like my story then I hope you like the others i have as well. (SELF PROMOTION) But seriously glad you enjoyed.
This story has alot going for it, like, seriously; but there are tons of mistakes that need fixing:
grammar errors
spelling errors
word usage errors
punctuation errors
sentence structure
I can offer to be your editor/proofreader, but I'm afraid that there's just so many mistakes that I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up.
I'm not promising anything here, but I can give it my best shot.
I noticed that this story hasn't been updated in a while. Is it still an active story?
6355592 Kind of. I've just been busy and lazy.
6355595
Understandable, that was a quick reply though.
6355598 I saw it and thought it was worth replying.
6355602
Well, I'm definitely going to follow and hope for more chapters. Keep up the good writing, friends.
6355633 Thanks...I have other things too to read as well...if your a Doctor Who fan I have a good Doctor Who story I'm trying to promote.