• Member Since 5th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen April 17th

xoxPinkiePiexox


I am sort of an amateur writer but I love creative writing. Especially about topics that I love.

E

In the aftermath of the battle of the bands, the Dazzlings are setting sites for new lives in the country. But working in the country is hard work and plenty of people have heard of their attempt to take over Canterlot High. Will they be able to change their image in light of their history?

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 11 )

I just love how Sonata is just oblivious to how pissed of the other two Dazzlings are :ajsmug:

But I saw that you asked for chapter suggestions in the author's note, and I don't think that's really a super great choice..:twilightblush: For a continuous story like this, it would be best to have the whole thing storyboarded in a notebook or something, so you have a clear end in mind all all that jazz.
Keep up the humorous chapters, though!

5705391 Thanks for the suggestion...:twilightblush: now that I think about it it probably wasn't a good idea to put that

This isn't a bad story in the slightest. I'll keep an eye on it.

Aaaaw. :raritystarry: I was pleasantly surprised by this sweet and genuine scene, since I was expecting more straight-up comedy. I'm glad you're finding a balance between the two, and I would love to see more interaction between Cherry Jubilee and Sonata.

"We can give you a disguise! Then me and Aria can hide in your hair!"

:rainbowlaugh:

I see that Aria seems to be warming up to Sonata a bit. I like how their dynamic is starting to get less hostile than it was in Rainbow Rocks.

Rarity defended the dazzlings, huh? I can respect that. Rarity's often a drama queen in both the show and fanfics, but I was kind of hoping that interaction would last longer to see more of Rarity being the voice of reason. Both she and Fluttershy have a sort of motherly kindness to them, and if the main six ever befriend the Dazzlings later in the story, it would be awesome to see them playing that role.
but that's just me overthinking a detail. :twistnerd:

Yay! I was hoping for Pinkie Pie to befriend Sonata ever since she mentioned the Sugarcube corner delivery in the previous chapter. Ditzy weirdos in short skirts unite!

There weren't any mistakes here except when Pinkie Pie says "Hey! Is that my cherry delivery!", there should have been a question mark instead of an exclaimation point (or both).

Overall, this wasn't a bad story, but you may want to consider editing at a later time.

Oh! How long had there been two new chapters to this story? I didn't see them.

As usual, this chapter was good in the sense that is was cute and entertaining. :twilightsmile: I'm trying to introduce my sister to this story now too.
Though I still have some minor criticisms. You don't use enough contractions, which are awesome when it comes to making dialogue sound natural.
"It is" = "it's", "I am" = "I'm".
Now I must be off to read the next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

Finally, the conclusion to this whole enchilada.
The ending is short, but sweet and satisfying. Makes me feel hopeful for the future of the Dazzlings!
OVERALL SCORE: Eight out of ten stars!
Your story was funny, but it knew when to be genuine. Your portrayal of Sonata Dusk was the strongest part, because she wasn't just ditzy and oblivious, but she was kind and persistent in making up for the past mistakes that she and the other dazzlings made. The weakest part was only some of the dialogue, but that could be easily ignored.

Can't wait to see what else you come up with in the future!

This is rather interesting so far!

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