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Do little fillies' ghosts still want to play? If so, then angry little fillies' ghosts must play deadly serious games. This is a horror story.
Do not read if you find dangerous toys disturbing.
This story is entered in the What a Fright - Early Autumn Contest in the Nonpareil Fiction Group.
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Horrifying, yet fascinating. I love the idea of a tactical genius poltergeist, and you did a great job of ramping up the horror as the battle continued. Thank you for a wonderful welcome to October. (A day early, but still.)
Ah. Sweet sweet revenge. Arandell got what was coming to him there. He deserved to die for what he did to Goldenrod.
Well that was sublimely dark.
5079662 Yes, yes he did. He had what I appreciate most in a villain - that you can feel good about hating him.
5079701 Agreed. Same here.
I won't deny I was reluctant to read this, but I'm glad I did. Now to get rid of those old cavalry toys.
5080113 I'll take 'em!
Sorry, I know how you feel about scary stories. It's out of my system for another year, my next story will have Quiz in it, promise.
5080134 Pshaw, I knew the risks
And honestly it was totally worth it.
5079614 Tactical genius? CREEEEEEEEEED!
Honestly? Arandell was such a vile pony, that I was kind of rooting for the poltergeist. Especially after the revelation that he killed her. Still, this is a wonderfully creepy little story.
Question: I erred on the side of caution when I gave this story the 'gore' tag. Now I feel a little silly about it. Should I take that off?
I was redirected here by the Unwarranted Congratulations Group.
In the words of the great Rainbow Dash... That... Was.. AWESOME! Great job!
5082818 Ehh, I think you could do without it. If you're still feeling cautious you could put a small notation in the description that there's blood, but it's not gory really.
I was going to say something about Stephen King's story until you mentioned it in the Author's Note.
Excellent little tale. Spooky as its predecessor.
Delightfully creepy story! Though it could use a bit of cleanup here and there, it's got some typos/errors.
A great horror story! I do enjoy a good dark tagged story! My favorite part was how in the beginning, "somepony", though you party at a funeral :l XD
This was very different for you. I'm glad to see even with such a horror piece your skill still shines through. Still, I didn't expect *that* of the narrator--although justice was done, I suppose...
5596740 Yeah, you should get out of your comfort zone now and then, but this is as daring as I get. Ever since I wrote it I've been wondering how I could get Liana out of the trouble she's now in I've been toying with shipping her with Good Fortune.
This story really amuses me. It has that creepy, yet righteous vibe that just made the whole experience an entertaining affair. :)
You can has (a new) review!
I went looking for "Battlefield" by King and couldn't find it (Amazon search for that word turned up hundreds of results and I don't know how to then limit it by author). Are you sure that you don't mean BattleGROUND?
It sounds like a good story and I'd like to read it, because the story you wrote is good.
6812574 Ooops! Yeah, the short story is "Battleground." "Battlefield" was the name they changed it to when they adapted it for television (and butchered it!). Thanks for the catch, I've corrected it. A little late, but it's corrected.
7179934 Thank you very much. You might like the story that inspired it - Stephen King's "Battleground."
Wow. I stumbled upon this because it was in the sidebar of one of my own stories. Not bad! I loved it. Fantastic work. I gotta see what other wonderful things you have in store for me to read!
Wow, this was awesome! I love how each of the characters were portrayed and stayed the same the whole way through despite how easily it could have been to hasn't them change due to your the events played out. And the ending felt extremely sweet. Well done.
Horrifying and creepy, love it.
Me neither.
... This does deserve the horror tag! Congrats!
Hmm well that was an interesting stort though id like to know more like the motive for the brother i know he was a dick. But still it would've been nice to know maybe his father left him out of the will and left it all to the half daughter maybe he hated her cause his father left his mother for his half sister mother since he liked to call her abd explain that she was his half sister guess we'll never know