Merry Fairweather tries to make up for a career as one of the bad guys. Applying the skills she learned on the wrong side, now in the name of good, might work. But first she has to survive her first job.
Chapters (2)
JMac
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I enjoyed this and would like to see more, though I understand the appeal of leaving it as a oneshot. A couple of typos though.
"Ponies were scared for life", I assume you mean scarred.
"But Fed was exhausted"
"This left me alone to make one last dispirit play"
She better live!!
Cliffhanger ending! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice to see Merry again, however briefly.
Oh, this can't possibly be complete.
Um...guys? This is not a story I've started, this is a contest entry for the "Cliffhanger Ending Contest" in the Writer's Lab group.
I'll tell you if it is indeed the red wire, after the judging is over. Honest.
"His no account brother-in-law Morton had framed him for mismanagement and expense account abuse and stolen company."
don't know what to make of this, think it was supposed to be.
"His no-account brother-in-law, Morton, had framed him for mismanagement and embezzlement, and stole the company from him."
Oh pleeeeaaaase let her have defused the bomb!
Also, that is the most evil contest I have ever heard of.
2932327 bakecooklove.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bcl-img_3022.jpg
For "the most evil contest" here.
2933427
Given that 'the most infuriating cliffhanger wins', reassuring your readers 'don't worry, I'll let you know what happens eventually' doesn't really seem like the way to make it happen, you know?
2934567 I never said anything about not worrying.
Good use of structure to build suspense. Setting the clock ticking in the opening line we feel the OC's pressure through the story.
What impresses me the most with this story is how "pony" it feels. You are firmly in the MLP:FIM world, when you read this.
Blue ribbon award for best OC cliffhanger story.
Recommended reading: Neuromancer
3001101m
Thank you very much. I was afraid I'd lose points for the clock device, since "24" wore it out a bit, but it was a very good way to make the transitions between flashbacks and present cleaner. I'm very pleased that readers care about Merry. Since many of you asked, yes, it was the red wire. Merry Fairweather has begun a promising career.
3001348
For some reason I read the story in Sam Elliott's voice till I realized the narrator was female.
So everything's juuuuust fine now. Reminds me of the third option from Tiger and Bunny: kick the bomb through the ceiling. I'm gonna say that that's what happened.
3002947
I applaud your problem solving methods and also your taste in anime.
Beautiful. Think we'll see more of these folks?
This needs to be a series. It's Burn Notice, with Ponies.
This awesome story desperately needs sequel !!!!!!!!!!!!
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/1304556369713.gif
Must... have... MORE!
Is it just me, or is Scooter giving off vibes that he likes Merry? And I don't mean just "like", I mean crushing on her.
If that's the case and Merry doesn't notice, well ain't that ironic.
He seems quite hopeful, though.
Huh. That was a pretty pleasant short OC story. I really rather liked the character of Merry; somepony trying to turn over a new leaf, smart enough to know that she'd rather be seen as the "good guy" and smart enough to know that'll never truly be the case. It gave off a very sort of 1920-1930's Noir feeling, in a sense. Although it was rather short (short enough to have been just one chapter, in my own opinion) it still had nice characterization and good use of rounded OCs. The action was fast and punchy without being overly vivid or outrageous, and it managed to keep an air of mystery and drama. The ending clearly gives way for more goodness to come. Keeping an eye out.
- Lemon (The Lemon Squeezer)
... How did I miss this?!
Heh. You know? This here could be a whole series of itself. She's certainly got the spice.
6069002 Yep, and the next Merry story is in my "to write later" queue. So many stories, so little time (I want to punch anyone who says they don't have any ideas in the face!).
Great little story. Good character development, very well written thrill, and distinct characters.
This counts as a sequel to sweet genius, does it not? I like the premise, and I liked the transition from the ticking bomb to the ticking click, but it's a little jarring to not see how the end of Fred's adventure turned out, even if I can probably guess what happened. Regardless, I would read a continuation.
And on that note, as you've probably noticed from all my comments by now, I've finished all of the stories related to Quiz. Overall, there was a lot to like, and you've earned yourself a follower(mostly due to basement of doom). So well done!